Trying to Get Pregnant

TTCAL w/o 05/14

eleven_eleven_ member
edited May 2018 in Trying to Get Pregnant
**This is a general trigger warning that CP, miscarriage/spontaneous abortion, selective abortion due to medical complications, and/or stillbirth may be mentioned.** 

Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.

Status:

How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

Any testing coming up/any recent results?

GTKY: What is your go to comfort food?
TW
Me: 33 DH: 32
DS:  March 2014
DD: May 2015
BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker

Re: TTCAL w/o 05/14

  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. CP, a miscarriage around 7 weeks, and my most recent stillbirth at 32 weeks due to a chromosome disorder

    Status: Just kinda NTNP, but my cycle is being dumb.

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?  Well provera did force my cycle to come, but my temps still don't seem to be stabilizing, which is frustrating.  I am doing everything possible to get things moving along and it feels like it isnt enough!  Which it makes it seem not worth it.

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? None

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food?  Sugary stuff.  Chocolate.
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  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. MMC discovered end of Feb

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? Things are okay right now. DHs trip being scheduled around FW was successful so that makes me happy. They have been really supportive of him needing to rearrange things so we can hit the window. I've been sick and super tired lately so temping is hit or miss. I've discarded some for being sick (high from actual sickness or low for sleeping with mouth open) and have not taken a few at the usual time (sleeping through my alarm or falling back to sleep immediately after turning it off). Oh! And! We are expecting our first thunderstorm tonight and I'm wicked excited. I love a good storm and how things just feel so refreshed after 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nada 

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food? Pasta with my grams homemade sauce. Sometimes my sauce can fit the bill but then there are times I just need hers. Same basic recipe but a few subtle differences that only she, my mom, and myself can pick up on.

    @sparklingdiamond sorry your temps are all messed up. I know it's hard to wait, but your body will sort itself out. 

    @eleven_ the obsessing gets worse every month. It's so incredibly frustrating. Those pop ups and adds are aweful and I think they should do away with them.
  • @eleven_ I'm sorry.  I totally understand how you are feeling. Sending you a hug.  It's so hard to not have it be consuming.


  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    MMC 2/12 MMC 8/17

    Status: tww


    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    I am proud of myself for my limited testing this tww, I feel like I am not driving myself crazy for once.  

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? No

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food?  Hmm, does gin count?
    Probably lasagna.  I eat my emotions, so it is usually the closest thing I can find though.

    @eleven_, I hope you get good results with your test.  I am sorry you are hitting the year mark, it is hard.  Not that I want to see you do it, but I know for me a break helped.  I didn't say to even myself I was taking a break, I just stayed a way except for the occasionally checkin for a few weeks.  Plus, this cycle of not tracking has been such an emotional break.

  • @eleven_ I second what @holly321 said about you taking a break from TB. I selfishly don’t want to see you go because you are such a great support to me and everyone else around here, but I want you to do whatever helps you cope. I’m so sorry that you’re finding TTC to be all-consuming and I hope that you can find a way to ease the stress of it soon. 
  • Well, I’m back from my bump/social media break. I really missed you ladies!

    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 
    TFAS 
    4 early losses in the last year, none of which made it further than 7 weeks. 

    Status: TWW 0dpo

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    Things are going fairly well, we are holidays with my parents this week and because of that, we’ve had the worst timing. But I have an acupuncture appointment on Friday, and I’m going to make a game plan with the acupuncturist for next cycle. 
    I found it really hard when I hit the one year mark. Looking back I realized that I put my life on hold for a baby and I just can’t keep living my life like that. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still using OPKs, and then HPTs next week. 

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food? Cheese and baguette. 

    @sparklingdiamond It really sucks when your cycle doesn’t cooperate. I hope your temps start to regulate so you can get a better idea of what to expect. 
    @eleven_ Taking a bump break really helped me, and even though I will miss you, it might be good. What if you cut back instead? I’m planning on online being on mobile, which really decreases the amount of time I will spend on the bump. 
    @prpl11butterfly That’s great that your DH was able to schedule around your FW! Also, I love thunderstorms! They are a lot of fun!
    @holly321 Yes, gin does count as a comfort food!
  • @eleven_ "I know that we have only been trying for a year" A year is a long time and it doesn't get easier. Please be kind to yourself. The ads are difficult. I find that even commercials on tv are hard. Though you feel overwhelmed, just know that you are not alone. There are ways to not obsess. Taking a break is one way, but also staying to ask other ladies in private messages, what they do to keep it at bay so that you are talking about it and getting it out, is a good idea. Just to keep the lines of support open. I do that in private messages a lot and it has proven to be helpful. Hang in there and hugs to you <3 

    @holly321 Did you have a surgery? I'm trying to get caught back up with you. I haven't posted the grief support thread in awhile.


    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc. 1 loss in March. We don't know why it happened. 

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?

    I am so angry with my RE for saying she didn't consider our loss as a successful attempt. I'm trying really hard to not resent her for it. Also, I've been crying a lot lately and feeling really insecure that my husband might leave me because I haven't been able to bare children. He keeps saying he never would and I believe him, but deep down inside, I can't help but think that he might. I'm also getting so sick of positive opks. Another day today of them. 

    I've been taking prenatals, added vitamin C 500 and coq10 200. I'm waiting to add the myoinositol and alpha lipoic acid. I'm scared to take them. I'm trying to get myself to add them and see how it goes. It's not like I have to take all of this stuff for the rest of my life so I have to keep reminding myself of that. This is just for egg quality. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? I have to still go check tsh levels. I've been blowing it off. Another hsg during cd6-11, but not until next cycle. 

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food? Trader Joe's turkey chili in a can. I heat it up, sprinkle shredded cheese and cajun seasoning. Then I dip tortilla chips in it. When I get to where there isn't a whole lot left, I crumble chips into the bowl and eat the rest with a spoon.




    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • @ChloandCoco I am glad that you are feeling better after your social media break. I’ve heard good things about acupuncture; I might look into that soon. 

    @suzycupcake Im so so sorry that you are feeling insecure about your husband leaving. You have posted before that you struggle with depression, so as a fellow sometimes depressed person let me say, That is the depression talking. The depression lies. Your husband loves you. You are a whole person independent of whether you have a child (I hope you will soon!). Also, that’s super shitty of your RE to say your loss didn’t count. I’m sending you creepy internet stranger hugs. 


    Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.
    One early loss April 18

    Status:  WTO (maybe O day?) 

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R?
    Mother’s Day was hard, but at least it’s over. I’m feeling better this week, although my temps/cm are all over the place this cycle. 

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Nope

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food?
    Anytime I’m sad, angry, or stressed I eat Oreos. Although, I just looked at the package last night and it’s 70 calories PER COOKIE! So me eating a half a package a couple times a month is def not a good thing. 
  • suzycupcakesuzycupcake member
    edited May 2018
    Thanks @TJtheGoat It's no wonder a lot of us struggle with depression considering this crap on top of life's other stressors. Hugs back at you! 

    I understand how frustrating it is to have bbt go all over the place. That happened to me last cycle and it was the worst. I ended up stopping and deleting them all. I hope yours cut the shit soon. 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • eleven_eleven_ member
    edited May 2018

    Thank you all so much for all of the support yesterday. It really means so much to me <3 

    @prpl11butterfly That is so nice that your husband’s company will work with him so that you guys can get good timing in! I’m so sorry you’ve been so sick. Temping is not fun when the data may or may not be accurate. I decided not to worry about the time I was taking it this month, and have been focusing more on taking it after a good chunk of sleep. It hasn't seemed to make much of a difference. Thunderstorms are my favorite! I hope you guys got a good one last night!
    @holly321 Good job holding out on testing! I’m holding out so much hope for you <3
    @chloandcoco I was so excited to see your post! I’ve missed you, friend! I hope your time away was peaceful. Approaching the year mark has been so hard for me too. I have felt the same way about putting my life on hold. It’s so hard to enjoy the life you have when you feel like it’s not complete yet. I hope your acupuncture appointment goes well tomorrow and that you feel happy with the game plan.
    @suzycupcake I’m sorry your RE was so insensitive about your loss. I find it strange that they don’t understand how fragile we are after going through something so heartbreaking.
    @tjthegoat I’m sorry Mother’s Day was hard on you. That is such an emotional holiday to get through. The cycle after my first loss was such a shit show. It’s so hard having no idea what your body plans to do. FX yesterday was O day for you so you can get some HIO rest! AND HELL YES TO OREOS! How the hell does one tiny oreo have 70 calories? Stupid small cookie.

    TW
    Me: 33 DH: 32
    DS:  March 2014
    DD: May 2015
    BFP: 12/24/17 CP: 1/2/18 @ 4w 3d
    BFP: 1/26/18 CP: 2/2/18 @ 4w 4d
    BFP: 5/16/18 MMC: 6/15/18 @ 7w 5d
    BFP: 9/25/18! EDD: 6/9/19 TEAM GREEN  <3 

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • Thanks @eleven_ It's like I get why they say it, but I wish they didn't. It's probably true that a lot of doctors don't get it because they haven't experienced it. I don't really know. She did at least say that it we do know it made it to a certain stage, but then she crushed it by saying typically they only consider it successful if they can see a sac. I had to choke back tears on that phone call because there were so many more questions I had that day and so did my husband. 

    I'm glad you feel supported and hope that you are having a better day today. 
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
  • Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis/conditions surrounding loss, etc.: 4 early losses in 14ish months. 

    Status: WTO

    How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? *TW* My best friend had her baby yesterday. We found out we were pregnant the same weekend and would have had the same due date (with my 3rd loss). I was inundated with cute baby photos from her DH, sister and mom yesterday. I am so happy for her, but I spent most of the afternoon and evening feeling sorry for myself. And then DH is sick, so we didn’t HIO when we should have yesterday. Hoping he’s feeling better today!

    Any testing coming up/any recent results? Still
    waiting on autoimmune and karyotyping results. 

    GTKY: What is your go to comfort food? Wheat thins with herb cream cheese. 

    I’ll come back for tabs as they’re not working on mobile right now...
  • @sparklingdiamond My temps are currently all
    over the place after Provera, also. Hoping yours regulate sooner rather than later!

    @eleven_ Sounds like you’re feeling a little better, and I’m late to the conversation, but I just wanted to say that whether you’ve been TTC for 1 year or 5 years, your feelings are valid.

    @suzycupcake I love Trader Joe’s turkey chili! And I’m sorry you’re feeling uneasy about your DH. I have had those exact feelings. Hang in there.
  • @cassafrass15 I hope you’re DH is feeling better. I’m sorry you are having a hard time with your friend. My DH’s cousin’s wife has the same due date as my third loss and it’s really hard seeing her. It’s a weird place to be in when you’re really happy for someone, but deep down it really hurts. 
  • @cassafrass15 Hugs <3 Sorry it's rough right now. I hope it turns up soon. 

    Have you tried the new chicken chili?

    Also, thanks for your support :)
    People think we become mothers when we give birth but the truth is we become mothers the moment we start calling our babies to us in our thoughts, dreams and prayers. Some paths are short and some are so long that you can easily forget where you were headed.

    How I feel all of the time.
    My 7 Year Journey ***Tw in spoiler***
    IVF
    IVF #1 - September 2018; Follistim, Menopur, Cetrotide & Lupron/HCG combo trigger; PGS; ICSI
    Back on Levothyroxine
    FET #1 - October 2018; cancelled, all PGS aneuploid
    FET #1 - November 30th, transferred anyway
    Wondfo BFP 5dp5dt, CB Digi 6dpt, 
    1st Beta on 7dpt 93
    2nd Beta on 10dpt 510!

    TTC #1 since 2011. Tried for 5 years before we knew there was a one year rule.
    Diag w/MS 2016; w/PCOS & IF 2017
    New RE 2018; PCOS diagnosis taken away, IF due to ovary adhesions, but prev. RE insists PCOS IF

    IUI
    IUI #1 July 2017 w/100mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #2 October 2017 w/50mg Clo+trigger; BFN; benched w/big cysts
    IUI #3 February 2018 w/5mg Femara+trigger; low P
    BFP February; mc March; Subclinical hypothyroid started Levothyroxine 
    IUI #4 March 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Medicated cycle & TI April 2018 w/7.5mg Femara+trigger; BFN
    Tried several cycles on our own; all BFN
     
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