South Florida Babies

Who gets to choose how many kids??

I thought that this was an interesting poll over on the 6+months Board. How do you/will you come to an agreement over how many children you do have?? For instance, my husband says he only wants 2 and I am still set on 3 (God-willing or if I am still sane from here to then)....Does one's opinion matter more than the other?? Dh and I discussed this before getting married, but I think that until you have a child you never really know what your decision will be. 
~~Givette~~ Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Re: Who gets to choose how many kids??

  • DH and I have always been on the same page on this one.  We wanted one, but if one was a girl, we would have a second. If Madison was a Matthew we would be done but obviously she is not...lol 

    That being said financially (and emotionally) we do not want three.  Two is our limit.

     

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  • We knew we always wanted 2 kids: perfect number and makes us even. After I had Gaby, my mind changed and I was stuck on her being the only child. We had Gaby when we were both 21, so needless to say we both grew up very very fast. I have a MASSIVE family and she would have plenty of cousins to play with and grow up with.

    Fast foward 4 years later and we started talking about having #2. I was very iffy at first and very defensive about how things will change. I'm practically a single mom Mon, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Satuday (the days DH works) He also works nights and gets home around 10:30ish. So this was a big issue for me knowing how to balance 2 kids, the house, dinner, our finance, ect. We finally talked and I was the one to say- okay, let's try for baby #2 and after Mr. A arrives we are DONE. I'm too young to get my tubes tied, so DH is going to snip snip and we are okay with this.

  • We both agree on this more or less.  I want 2 but DH says if we have another girl, he would want one more.  Not me, 2 is it for me.  So I guess we'll see what happens with our second and who gets the final say :)
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  • When we got married, DH already had 1 son, so he only wanted 1 more. I knew I wanted 2. We left it at that. Now, Ayden is 9mos. the other day, we were at BRU and he was reading baby name books. He was going down the list, and almost everyname he mentioned I nixed. Just yesterday, he asked if a name he had nixed while we were picking Ayden's is a good one. I think someone wants another baby.

    I swear, this Cyst/ovary scare made him realize, we have to get working on #2 soon.

  • I think both partners need to e on the same page when it comes to how many kids.  If one really wants more or less than the other, it can lead to a lot of strain on the marriage.

    We both originally wanted 3-4 kids, but after having Nicholas, we've decided 2 will be it for us. Besides the fact that he was very fussy and  high needs as an infant, it is way more expensive to have kids than I ever realized.  I wouldn't want to deprive my children of any opportunities by stretching ourselves too thin financially.

     

     

  • We'd love 4 or 5 !

    At the beginning Eric wasn't even sure he wanted kids, then we had Sebastian and he wanted 1 more, then we had Nate and can't wait to have a few more.

    We are leaving it all in God's hands though, whatever his plan is for us.

  • I think it's ultimately going to be the woman's final decision since it's her body, but I think it should be something you decide together. We only want 1. Never say never, but I'm pretty sure we're going to stick with our original plan.
  • I definitely want at least 2 kids and DH has agreed with me on that. I would be thrilled if we could have 4 and I would have to cap it off at 6. I know that sounds crazy and babies are so much work but I love Riley so much that I would love to have tons more! 2 is the realistic end of it and we'll go to babies 3-6 if financially, we can afford it.
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  • personally I think the one who wants the least lol which is now me lol No really, I always wanted 4-5 kids being that we are both only children now that I've been pg twice I am DONE!!!! I am not willing to put my life at risk for another child that does not exist and risk leaving the ones I already have. I've been blessed with Angelina and am now blessed to be having Julian (who is still baking in the oven---and will hopefully give me a good couple of more weeks) we always thought that we would have another one of our own but now are thinking that once both of our kids are in school we will probably start fostering kids or adopt a 1 or 2 more kids... I just don't think I can handle another pregnancy.

     

  • DH and I would both LOVE 4 but to be honest I want to give birth to the first one and then we'll see lol. I don't think you can truly know until you have one so I'll get back to you in 4 months more or lessStick out tongue
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  • The person who wants the fewest.  Seriously, it's like getting a puppy.  One person wants a puppy, the other doesn't.  They get a puppy and it sucks.  Guess who is always bitter.  Now, kids don't suck, but they're a lot of work and even though I'm sure both parents will love that baby the one who never wanted it will think about that when things are tough.  It's sad but it's true.  My DH and I have pretty much always been on the same page with this, we discussed it before marriage (I think everyone should if it's a deal breaker).  The other day we were discussing if we would have more if we won the lottery.  Apparently not even unlimited funds would change our plan.
  • I don't think this is one of the things that you can pick one person's opinion over the other's. You both have to agree otherwise there will be problems, and you don't want any of your kids to feel stress between you over something like that. DH & I discussed this since before we were married. We wanted 2 but if they were both the same sex we'd have a third to see if we got the opposite, but then that was it. I am a strong believer that if you have three of the same sex, the fourth will come out the same. It's just the way the universe goes. I only know a few people with more than three kids who aren't of the same sex. My uncle actually named his fourth girl after himself and just added an "a" at the end. One of DH's cousins just had his 4th boy. Three is definitely our limit.
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  • Hmm...

    well, I always wanted 2, but after an unmedicated birth, i don't think i can go through with natural labor again lol  if I were to get pg again, I'd make theh dr sign forms and get them notarized promising that the epidural would work no matter what. 

    dh says he only wants one, that he can't imagine having a 2nd... i want 2, though, i think it would be great for abby to have a little brother or sister.  i think it would get lonely being an only child... (i have an older sister but we were 5 years apart and she was hardly ever around groing up, and it was realy lonely most of the time, i can't imagine what i touwld be like without having a sibling at all)

  • I would say the one who wants the least, but maybe thats because in our situation, its me! lol we used to say we wanted like 5, but now that we have Charlotte I may, have one more, DH still wants at least three or four.  I agree with Andrea!
    I don't want to spread myself too thin financially, and i don't want to have to spread my time too thin, with any.  I may be sarcasticly saying that i only want one, because it is important fo rme that Charlotte have a sibling.  Then DH starts saying that if #2 is a girl tha the would still want three, and then so on.  Also, everytime he and my family get together they gang up on me! lol I am soooo confused as to how many i want and have soooo many questions, ultimately i am going to leave it in God's hands. 

  • DH has always wanted 4. I have always wanted 3. I will honestly say - I don't want to be pregnant more than 3 times so we will likely stop at 3 kids however DH is determined to take it one kid at a time before we make any firm decisions. LOL. I am pretty sure 3 kids is it for me for a number of reasons.

    I guess that means I get to choose? Since I want the least AND I have to carry the babies. Trump card! LOL.

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  • Like Snshine said, the person who wants the least LOL. Its a big decision that both parents should be eye to eye on. Unless one of them wants to work harder then the other. I would like one more but we will see after a couple of years where life takes us.
  • Thank you all so much for your thoughts!!!
    ~~Givette~~ Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • posting late....

    dh wants a big family...he would love 4 kids total

    i always wanted 2...after having mady my heart was set on 3...dh agreed on 3

    kids are a lot of work, a lot of dedication, but overall i fell in love after having mady. hopefully one day we can make it that far financially, we wont deprive any of our children just because we want to expand to our family.

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  • I like the theory of whomever wants the least.  I always wanted 3, Dh always wanted 2.  We thought it was kind of funny because I am one of 2 and dh is one of 3.  After having Lynda dh looked at me and said that he loves having her around and can't imagine not having 3 kids like when he grew up.  He's now totally on board for having three.  The only way we have more is if the last time they come as a pair. 
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