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December 2018 Moms
trucksntutus
member
TEN THINGS TUESDAY! (Things I wish I'd known before having a baby.)
trucksntutus
member
I love lists! Here's my top 10 of things I wish I'd known before having my LO! 
1) Going to the grocery store/shopping alone after having kids will be like a mini vacation!
2) SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY. A legitimate, never ending cycle.
3) Invest in a good stain remover because you'll be using your clothes and the clothes they wear to wipe up messes.
4) You def need to take some time to treat yourself every so often.
5) Don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure if BF'ing (if you choose to do so) isn't working out. You did your best!
6) You never know what size baby you're going to have, so don't purchase a lot of clothes in one particular size!
7) The Nosefrida snot sucker is probably my favorite baby purchase.
8) Follow your instincts and don't let anyone push you around when it comes to YOUR baby. If you don't feel comfortable putting cereal in their bottle because your grandmother did, don't do it!
9) Baby carrier > all in one car seat.
10) Babies don't need a lot, and I bought a bunch of 'extra' stuff I didn't necessarily need or use such as a grocery cart cover and what not. Just, un-needed "things" lol!
*EDIT* It appears my username finally updated! Formerly "hallgire" - it included part of my real name so I had it changed, I'm not a new person!
1) Going to the grocery store/shopping alone after having kids will be like a mini vacation!
2) SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY. A legitimate, never ending cycle.
3) Invest in a good stain remover because you'll be using your clothes and the clothes they wear to wipe up messes.
4) You def need to take some time to treat yourself every so often.
5) Don't beat yourself up or feel like a failure if BF'ing (if you choose to do so) isn't working out. You did your best!
6) You never know what size baby you're going to have, so don't purchase a lot of clothes in one particular size!
7) The Nosefrida snot sucker is probably my favorite baby purchase.
8) Follow your instincts and don't let anyone push you around when it comes to YOUR baby. If you don't feel comfortable putting cereal in their bottle because your grandmother did, don't do it!
9) Baby carrier > all in one car seat.
10) Babies don't need a lot, and I bought a bunch of 'extra' stuff I didn't necessarily need or use such as a grocery cart cover and what not. Just, un-needed "things" lol!
*EDIT* It appears my username finally updated! Formerly "hallgire" - it included part of my real name so I had it changed, I'm not a new person!
Re: TEN THINGS TUESDAY! (Things I wish I'd known before having a baby.)
2. Yes to introducing a bottle early! Even if you aren’t planning to bottle feed, at some point you’re going to want to walk away from your baby for more than an hour. If they won’t take a bottle it’ll make it that much harder to do that.
3. Don’t expect to be a perfect mom. That crap ain’t happening. You will mess up and you will totally eat your words (or thoughts) on what you wouldn’t do.
4. Don’t google too much. When in doubt call your doctor. They know more than google and are way less fatalistic.
5. Your baby will not sleep in the beginning. It’s gonna suck. Then they will sleep a little bit more and then even more. You will survive.
6. Related: You can function on significantly less sleep than you think you can and still feel ok. Coffee is your friend.
7. Oh! You can drink coffee and breastfeed. Also you can drink alcohol and breastfeed. If you can drive, you can breastfeed is the common wisdom. And even that is so you’re not too drunk to actually hold your baby (please don’t do that) and not because of the amount of alcohol that will be in your breastmilk.
8. Your baby is gonna be the cutest baby in the world! It’s a fact.
9. People are going to say your girl is a boy or your boy is a girl no matter how you dress it. Meh.
10. Take mom shaming with a grain of salt (or don’t take it all because mom shamers suck). Nobody knows what you’re going through, and believe me those people aren’t perfect. They’d just like you to think they are.
2. Breastfeeding is hard, and it hurts like hell sometimes.
3. PP bleeding is the pits, and it might last 6 weeks. Six LONG weeks.
4. PP cramping is a thing, and it's also uncool.
5. Breastfeeding doesn't necessarily mean you won't get your period back. Some of us lucky ones will get it back right away, and that's ALSO super uncool.
6. The days seem to last forever sometimes, but they grow up really quickly. Soak it in.
7. Even though they grow up quickly, the day still last FOREVER sometimes! It's okay to feel overwhelmed by it.
8. DH and I used to split up the nights early on. I'd take the early part of the night with the baby while he slept for a few uninterrupted hours. Then he'd stay up and just bring the baby to eat, then take the baby away right away. It doesn't sound restful, but that arrangement saved my sanity.
9. Breastfeeding won't automatically help you lose the weight. Even if you're motivated, it might be tough.
10. Time by yourself is golden. Cherish it.
Also, FWIW @hallgire, my kids were in NB for like 3 months, and I even went out and bought some preemie clothes for my son because he was so teeny. I am not small (5'8") and I gained 55lbs with both kids. I think it's hard to know whether you'll have a little babe or a big one, so maybe get some NB clothes and just keep the tags on
@rosebud332 9. People are going to say your girl is a boy or your boy is a girl no matter how you dress it. Meh.
YES. I've been shopping in Kohls or somewhere like that and someone said "what a cute little boy! what's his name" to my DD who's wearing a pink outfit with a bow.
@hallgire Lol exactly the same. I just say, oh thanks! I think she’s cute too! Whatev.
2. Don’t be shocked at the amount of hair you lose PP!
3. Your body will be different. It’s ok. Embrace it and don’t try to force yourself to fit into your too small Jeans again.
4. You will cry. A lot.
5. Stop worrying about the future (like going back to work) and just enjoy every single second because they go by way too fast.
6. It’s never too early to start a routine
7. Enjoy all the movement and kicks because you surprisingly miss them when baby is on the outside!
8. Try to be open with your birth plan. So much can happen and change.
9. Trust your doctor. And if you don’t, find one you do. And search for another opinion if needed.
10. You don’t realize how much you can love something until you meet baby.
So true pertaining to your #1. I didn't care who saw what in my delivery room! Heheh.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
1) Routines and schedules are great, but not arbitrary newborn ones you find online. You'll just drive yourself batty when your child wakes up from what was supposed to be a two-hour nap after a half hour. Go by wake times (short! 90 minutes to an hour tops!) and sleepy cues.
2) You will sleep again. Someday, you will. I promise you. (And also, those first nights your kid actually sleeps through the night you might not. You might be up with engorged boobs or wondering why in the heck they're sleeping and are they dead WTF??)
3) Phases don't last forever; in fact, they're fairly short. What I mean is this: you see a photo online of an incredibly messy kid. Just, puree smeared everywhere. And it's like, how will I ever deal with that? But you do, it's honestly not that hard, and before you know it your kid is onto finger foods and dinner doesn't require a hose afterward.
4) This is kind of an impossible thing to say, because I still struggle with it daily with my oldest, but try your hardest not to compare your child to others -- both when it comes to milestones and when it comes to sleeping. Every kid is different. Some evil witches (I say that lovingly, of course!) get blessed with a kid who takes three-hour nap after three-hour nap and sleeps from 6 p.m. to 8 a.m.
5) Don't buy the cool belly binding wrap off Etsy because you aren't going to want to be dealing with 50 yards of fabric when you're just days postpartum. (Unrelated: anyone want to buy mine off me?
6) I'll say it and you're going to hate me for it. If you're a FTM without kids, try your hardest to cherish those final pre-baby days, and also the first slow days (months, really) with a newborn. I wish so much I could go back and just lay around like that, sleeping when baby slept and taking my tea in bed. I know it's going to be a completely different experience when this next one comes along.
Jiminy Christmas I need to get back to blogging.
7) You will learn fairly quickly after the baby starts going to bed early that evenings are sacred and things to be cherished. Same goes for naps if you're a SAHM.
8) You will really and truly hate your partner at some point postpartum. It sucks, but it's sort of inevitable. The love will come back. Eventually. Hopefully.
9) YAS to the nipple confusion myth. My son actually had to take a bottle to get out of the NICU but I wasn't good about offering it when we got home because a) I was worried about getting my supply up to full time nursing demands, b) H was (is still, actually) in grad school on top of working a ridiculously stressful job and a gajillion hours, and c) I hated pumping because of the bad memories associated with it. Let me tell you. It suuuuuucks when you can't go anywhere for more than 3 hours at a time because your breasts are baby's only source of sustenance.
10) Every phase is the best phase
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
1) If you are someone who is miserable pregnant, even if you're (very) tired during the newborn period and recovering from birth, it may still be a relief to not be so physically uncomfortable anymore! (It was to me!)
2) But...recovery from birth may take longer than you thought. I had to have silver nitrate treatments for granulated tissue until week 16, and that was also the same week I was *finally* able to walk without significant pelvic pain.
3)It is okay to not enjoy the newborn phase. And it doesn't mean you're a bad mom.
4) Hopefully this won't be the case, but plan on the sleepless nights putting a strain on your relationship with your spouse. Try to potentially troubleshoot beforehand (talk about how you plan to attack middle of the night wakeups, talk about how you handle stress, think about anything that might present a challenge, like crazy work schedules, etc.) And remember, you will be better at communicating once you are sleeping again!
5) If you're not someone who loves the newborn period, it gets SO MUCH better after 6 months, and after a year it's just a delight. I absolutely ADORE being a toddler mom.
6) You have no idea what kind of sleeper your baby will be. I hope we all get unicorn babies who sleep well right off the bat, but prepare mentally for the worst and hope for the best. You will actually get used to the sleep deprivation after a while! I'm a champ at it now, when DD regresses or is teething.
7) The most exciting part of having a kid is that you have no clue what kind of personality they will have, and watching that grow and develop is just the most wonderful thing. And, I had no idea, how early personality would emerge! I told my husband on like, day three, that I thought my daughter was funny, and she is *such* a funny kid, tells jokes all the time, etc.
8) You may not be 100% confident doing everything with the baby - driving with the baby, running errands, etc., that's okay! Your confidence will grow. Just go at your pace and know that it will come.
9) Be in touch with your doctor and with a close friend or family member who is not your sleep deprived partner, so they can make sure you don't show signs of PPD or PPA. (And also familiarize yourself with the signs before birth.)
10) Take everyone up on their offers of help! Something as simple as a nap, or some hot coffee, or a bath while someone else plays with the baby is game changing when you're so tired! Or even just a conversation with a friend while you both play with the baby. Self care and contact with other adults is key in the early days (and always, really!)
2. Because of the mirror, I know that I pooped. You won't care, all you'll want is to be done feeling pain from pushing baby out. I promise ladies, doctors are used to it and they don't care. My MW literally told me "push like you're trying to poop".
3. Seconding whoever said to enjoy the baby movements and kicks before birth! I was shocked at how much I missed those feelings, even though I had a baby in my arms.
4. People are going to give their opinion about EVERYTHING. You do you, don't second guess your choices as long as you've made an educated choice.
5. It's okay to go out in the world with baby! I know we'll all be giving birth right in the middle of flu season, and yes take caution, but don't seclude yourself to your home. Just ask people to keep their distance or wash their hands. Enjoy those early days where you can take Baby somewhere without fear of him/her destroying things or running away.
6. There is truly no "right way" to do anything. We did bedsharing, we did cloth diapers some times and disposables others, baby led weaning was our method of introducing solids. I don't have any friends who did exactly what we did, and I'm still in my old BMB on FB with about 41 other ladies!
7. The moment your child is old enough for Motrin is life changing, especially when teething.
8. Teething isn't always as bad as they say (though I think it tends to be for more babies than not). My kid had two teeth pop thru and I found them by accident one day. In hindsight, he'd been a little extra cranky, but no other signs of teething. Once you've had one tooth come in, you'll know the signs for your child.
9. No matter how old your baby is when you return to work (if you work), you won't be ready. My son was only 9 weeks, but it was tough. I'm taking the full 12 weeks this time, but don't expect it to be any easier.
10. You can't spoil a newborn. If you want to hold your baby, hold your baby. Hold them as much as you want and can because one day they'd rather get down and play than snuggle.
I thought this would be hard to write, but I think now I wish I had more than 10 spaces lol. I can always add to the advice thread though!
DS2 due 12/12/18
Molars and canines are a slightly different ballgame but everyone gets through it alive
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
1. It’s okay if you don’t feel an overwhelming love for your child once they are born. I obviously loved my kid, but what I felt more was an overwhelming sense of responsibility. And i guess in some ways responsibility = love. But don’t worry those love feelings will come.
2. If it’s available join a new mom’s group. This literally saved my life. Knowing that people were going through the exact same things as me. That my baby wasn’t broken, that I wasn’t a terrible mom, etc made everything so much better. Also having some where to go once a week made the days go by a little faster. The women in my group have become some of my best mom friends and we still chat daily. Which leads to #3
3. The days are long but the years are short. Those first few days are longer than long. I had never done anything in my life for 24 hours straight every single day. It mentally took a toll. I think I had too many expectations of myself to be and do everything. Ask for help! Get help!
4. If you have family that is helpful invite them over immediately. My mother and I don’t have the best relationship but she is a do-er. She cooked, cleaned, held the baby, went grocery shopping, it was amazing I couldn’t have done it without her.
5. Hire a doula! I would put this in all caps if you are having a hospital birth and are opposed to unnecessary interventions. A doula knows about birth and can help advocate for you while also assisting your partner in helping you. My H always says he felt like our doula helped him more than she helped me. But really she was helping us all.
6. Breastfeeding takes TIME! When i heard it’s two hours between feedings, I thought, well that doesn’t sound so bad. No one told me it’s 2 hours from start to start. And that in the beginning it can take 45min - 1hr for baby to nurse because they are inefficient. After that and 20min of burping and then changing a dirty diaper it’s time to go again. I felt like a milk machine.
7. +1000 to nipple confusion. If your kid has a good latch I don’t think there’s anything to worry about. No baby is gonna prefer a bottle to the warm source if they are latched properly and getting the milk. I finally had a doula tell me all that nipple confusion nonsense is really about establishing a strong supply. Well just say that then dammit!
8. Be easy with yourself. Set goals, but be willing to reevaluate based on reality. I wanted to nurse for at least 6months then I hated it. So i re-set my doal to 12 weeks. Once I got to 12 weeks I knew I could make it. Once I got to 6 months, I wanted to go a year. But at 9 months between my supply and being back at work, it wasn’t meant to be. So we switched to formula, which I never wanted to do. But it was fine. I just let it go and moved on. There will be so many things that’s don’t go as planned. It’s soooooo okay. Just keep it pushing.
9. Everything will seems impossible and daunting the first time you do it. I remember the first time leaving the house I terrified. But soon after I couldn’t get out of the house fast enough.
10. This is a controversial one, but was key to me being able to survive. Sleep train. I was not completely on board with it, but I had a baby who was waking every 30-45min. We did it gradually and took our time with it (my husband would have liked it to happen much faster LOL). But my son has been sleeping through the night since about 5.5 months old and in his own room since 7months. He loves his sleep now and it means mom and dad get some alone time and sleep. It’s incredible.
FTM, 2 Furbabies
married 03/17/07
lived in Houston, Austin, Los Angeles and NYC
due: 2/15/17
A doula seems like a good idea, but it's quite pricey!
I know for a fact that I pooped while I was pushing. My husband said it wasn't a lot, but there is LITERALLY nothing you can do about it because you are bearing down so hard. We had talked about it before I gave birth and that I didn't want to, but it didn't bother him, and no one in the room acted any different. Nurse would wipe me and move on. It wasn't even as weird as I thought it might be. Honestly at that point I just wanted the damn bowling ball to get out of my vagina
2. Epidurals are not evil. The fact that I had an epidural does not mean that I did not have a wonderful birth. It wasn't med free, but it was easier due to the epidural.
3. Sometimes exclusively breastfed babies poop once every ten days. This is normal. It is also normal for exclusively breastfed babies to poop 3 times a day.
4. Go with your gut, if you feel like something is off, call the doctor. The worst that happens is you go in and they tell you everything is fine.
5. Sleep training is your friend. Some people shame sleep training. It literally saved my life. My daughter SCREAMED for at least 30 minutes or more while she settled to sleep. I was literally sobbing and losing my mind. After sleep training, she was able to settle to sleep on her own. We are both healthier and happier for it.
6. Give the baby a bottle. Even if you a SAHM and will exclusively breastfeed. My niece would not take anything but her mother's boob (not even purees or solids) until ELEVEN MONTHS. Which meant she had to be around her baby every three hours for ELEVEN MONTHS.
7. It is ok to dislike your baby when they are stressing you the eff out. You will like your baby again when you are not strung out.
8. Soak up the sweet baby smell, and the naps you hold them for. There will be a day when they don't let you cuddle with them and hold them for a nap.
9. Breastfeeding is hard AF. Even if your baby has a great latch, you might not produce enough. Supplements don't work. If you cannot or do not want to breastfeed, that's ok. Fed baby = happy, healthy baby.
10. You have no idea how much love you can possibly have for this baby until after you have it. It is so indescribable how much you love your child when they are just a lump who cries, poops and eats!
And yes to the sleep training. It just...it works. And this is coming from someone who was not under any circumstances going to use CIO.
TTC #1 January 2016
BFP April 18 2016 | EDD December 29, 2016
Welcome baby A! January 9, 2017
TTC#2 March 2018
BFP March 30, 2018 | EDD December 12, 2018
3. or in our case, poop 6-8 times a day.
5. We did a modified cry it out, I guess you could call it. He cried (boy did he cry), but we always were next to him shushing and patting him. It took about a week, and every night was better than the one before.
9. True dat. BFing, especially in the beginning, was probably the hardest thing I've done. Cluster feeding and cracked nipples are no joke! If you are struggling at all, go see a lactation nurse ASAP. Because BFing and dealing with all the crazy hormones at the same time is more than rough. I ended up being able to BF for a year, but if I hadn't gone to see the lactation consultant, I think i would have made it two weeks tops. They will give you the support that maybe your husband or others around you don't know how to give.