@Sarafuss that is horrible that the MFM doctor said that. At least you know enough at this point to know this baby doesn’t have that but still. It’s almost like MFM doctors forget that not every baby has something going on that’s considered abnormal or high risk.
@gingerbride26 It was just called BabyName. We just used the free version and it started out with decent names and then they got a little too unique for our liking.
Me: 31 DH: 34 Married: April 2016 TTC December 2016 BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17 MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017 BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18 TTC January 2019 BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@Sarafuss so sorry - that's so insensitive during an already stressful time. FX you get home soon @MrsMiller8588 thanks, I'll check it out. We have like 20 we both don't hate that we're going through but DH seems to keep thinking there's other options out there we didn't find but hasn't actually gone through a list himself - we did have fun reading the credits at Infinity Wars for ideas while waiting for the post credits scene!
Found a similar one from "Charlie's Names" so far ok...wish you could filter better - it's either 1 country only or ALL countries but same concept of a "tinder for baby names" but with 3 levels of love, like, hate.
@zande2016@ashbub714@julianne0 I think he’s new to the MFM group so I think he read it in my chart and for some reason focused on that. None of the other MFMs would have even mentioned it because they know me and my history and this is my 4th pregnancy with this group. I did have the panorama test done which came back low risk but he wanted to know if I had specifically tested for cri du chat (panorama does test for that if you opt in on the microdeletions) which we didn’t because of the false positives my genetic counselor has seen. We felt that if things looked concerning on u/s then we would do an amnio because it’s more accurate. And everything has looked perfect. It’s was just so stupid to bring it up because the only reason I’m here is because of MY health issue, not my baby’s.
Married 9/19/09 Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
TTC#1 starting Nov. 2009 3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12 TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts. TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
@Sarafuss I’m so sorry! That’s really inconsiderate to bring that up when you’re already upset. Let alone at all. I’m glad that your baby is healthy and I hope that you get to go home soon!
Our car seat is coming today! The ups guy usually comes between noon and 3 so I’m hoping he’ll show up any second now lol. With my luck he’ll probably be late.
@gingerbride26 - we are trying to use the app Baby Name Together. It allows you to search for an then like names that you already know you like, which is nice because you don't have to wait through 1,000 options for them to show up. DH rarely uses his, so I keep having to harp on him. We have 2 matches so far and both are names that we like but don't love (Kyle & Theodore) for first names.
I'm uber stressed out about daycare. I've shared some of my concerns related to DD's current school before, and DH recently said we should tour other places if I've got a gut feeling that something is wrong. I'm no debating whether I should sit down and have a discussion with the new director before I go though. UGH!
kissableviv my one
regret with this pregnancy is not signing up for disability through my work and
to make matters worse, I work in HR! lol….we were trying to get pregnant and
everything, it was totally planned! Guess my pregnancy brain started even
before pregnancy lol
gingerbride26
they can put that type of stipulation on unlimited time off?! Ridiculous!
MrsMiller8588
im so sorry! Butttttttt, as crappy as that is, if you go to go back to work and
the company laid everyone off there is always unemployment compensation which
equals more time with baby! Or hopefully they just give a bomb.com severance package. It will give you some time to look for a new
role too.
Sarafuss jealous
about you getting to work remotely! So
sorry for your loss and for having some dbag bring it up xoxo
@babygagnon2018 +1 for forgetting to do STD in time and knowing better from getting screwed with DD. I was supposed to sign up for Aflec outside of work when we started trying and forgot. "Unlimited vacation" is a complete joke corporations play on employees and potential employees to make them think they're getting something wonderful. You cannot take more than 10 consecutive days - this is a major problem for our employees that want to go back to Europe or India for 3 weeks to visit family. If you take the 10 days, you must work for 2 pay periods (i.e. 4 weeks) before taking any more PTO. PTO approval is at the discretion of management - and the management training is that you should still stick to what someone "SHOULD" be getting based on tenure - i.e. 2 weeks versus 5 weeks - so they are trying to make the managers the bad guys in the middle. Studies have found that by not carrying a BALANCE of accrued vacation, most people forget to take vacation and keep working, also you do not have to pay out non-existent vacation balances during a layoff and also don't carry it on the books as a liability. They do track how much everyone takes and send periodic reports. At the same time they've cut our floating holidays because now we have unlimited vacation.
I'm fed up with of feeling gross and blah and not like myself, so texted my stylist and told her I was ready to go back to a vibrant color. Now it's all I can think about and instead of working I'm trying to decide between going back to my hot pink which I loved and DH likes, or go the other way and try being an emerald for a while. I've been using the overtone rose gold for brown hair over my current reddish/brown for while, and it's a really pretty darker pink, but it's not as much fun as my hot pink was. I guess I miss being an anime character.
Finally gained some mat leave clarity with the help of my coworker, who is taking mat leave in a couple of weeks. HR has now become basically unresponsive, and my coworker had all the answers. She had a whole calendar filled out and everything and answered all of my questions. I don't understand why it's so hard for HR to answer questions about mat leave. I don't think they were at all out of the ordinary. I just wanted to know what I was supposed to use first (short-term disability? OOTO days?) and how long for all the benefits I get.
I have exactly 1.5 months of work left! Cannot believe it! I'm definitely feeling stressed and swamped with appointments and to-dos recently. My HVAC project is finally done but my house is still a mess, we need to paint a wall where the gas heater was removed, get the carpets professionally cleaned, schedule a deep cleaning and start on the baby room. Also, we're having people come to treat for termites that we have under the garage. My parents are coming this Sunday to get us a dresser and whatever else for the baby's room. The room is a disaster and has basically been turned in to a storage room of amazon boxes/guest room recently. I somehow need to get it in order by Sunday.
Also, design help please!!!!!! The room that will be the nursery is super small and will be the baby's room and the guest room, AND I have a giant ikea wardrobe in there. The room has light gray walls, a light beige sleeper sofa, a light beige wardrobe and a huge corner window with the curtains pictured below. The wardrobe has really pretty knobs that match the turquoise color on the curtains. The wardrobe, couch and curtains are staying. What can I do for wall decor that will match? I'm getting cute throw pillows for the couch. Should I get rid of the curtains? I can't figure out how to find decor that goes with them.
@runsomewhere I am nowhere near a design guru. I'd keep the curtains; they're pretty and they do match the knobs on the wardrobe. I'm sure you can find something that matches. Maybe a simple painting or another piece of simple artwork? You can also just wait to see what inspires you later. That's what I typically do. Which is why a lot of my walls are bare.
Congrats on 1.5 months left of work, BTW!! When are you planning on having the deep cleaning done? I'd definitely like it done, but I also am going through a remodel (which better be done by the end of this month). And then I don't want to get the deep cleaning done too soon because then things will get dirty again and would feel the need to do it again before she's born, but that's just my own neuroses.
@supersara2 thanks, I do like the curtains, they look more bright and airy in person, but I cannot figue out how to coordinate with them, ugh.
I just had a bit of work done at my house and all I can say is do not waste a deep cleaning till all work is 100% done! Even if the crew is super careful the floors will get dirty and there will be dust.
@runsomewhere maybe get some throw pillows in that teal/turquoise color for the couch (like the picture) and some artwork that is complimentary to the colors. I wouldn't repaint the walls if they are a light gray. It's a pretty neutral color. I would add some little pieces here and there to give it a nursery feel.
Oh em gee guys, considering the lack of sleep DS is running on he was pretty good today. But then he hit a friends older child like, 3 times at a baseball game, and I have been feeling really horrible about how hands on and pushy he is after bounce house yesterday, so I vowed to set more boundaries and stick to them. I talked to him after the first hit, then sat him out with me after the second, then we left after the third (which was with a chair!). He started crying about not wanting to leave and I explained why we were to him, and he started crying again in the car. Then we got home and he told dad "We had to leave early because I hit Ari three times!" and sat down. I hope it stuck with him but he's 3 so who knows. Despite making him miserable and me not really wanting to bail on friends, I feel pretty good about the fact that I set a boundary and stuck to it.
Then he scratched me in the face during bedtime snuggles. On purpose.
@SmashJam is this a 3yo thing? DS has been extra handsy and disobedient lately. He swung at a little girl in his playgroup last week- if I wasn’t holding his hand and pulled him back he would’ve made contact. We usually go to the park after but I didn’t let him and he threw a fit the whole way to the car. Punishment for us both if you ask me. And a few days after that he threw a rock at my face! I definitely think they can understand punishment at this age if you explain it. DS still talks about hitting the girl and that it was bad. But I hate that he keeps bringing it up, I didn’t want it to be an ongoing issue.
Had my hospital tour tonight (I was the only person without My partner and felt kind of awkward), it’s a really nice, renovated hospital and has some great amenities. The tour was given by a “staff doula” - they have doulas on staff that you can pay an extra $250 for (super cheap) but you just get whoever’s working when you go into labor. Also, they work for the hospital, so I question how much they advocate for you. But it’s still a nice option to have if I decide not to hire someone. Anyway, someone on the tour asked about tongue ties and this doula basically said she thinks it’s overblown and she doesn’t like to talk about them/let moms know about them because she thinks doing anything to go them fixed is usually unnecessary and she wants them to try breastfeeding on their own first. Since I went through hell and back with my son’s tongue tie, I was offended. I spoke up and said to the whole tour group that it was very much a real thing for my son and I. One down, two more hospital tours to go!
I was trying to tell my husband about the tour and was annoyed he kept looking at his phone and just generally felt like he wasn’t paying attention/interested. Then he asked what hospital we were looking at tomorrow, I told him we weren’t seeing a hospital tomorrow (were meeting a midwife from a potential practice we might switch into), and he had no idea where we were going and who we were meeting with. He then thought we were going to meet a doula, and thought we were going to a town an hour away. I got upset because I’ve gone over all of this so many times with him, I just couldn’t believe after I’ve been talking about it for a week and we spent all of last night figuring out childcare plans due to it etc, that he had no idea. Well he blew up on me. like had a full blown grown man tantrum. slammed his food down, kicked a toy really hard, twice, screamed at me to the point my heart rate increased and I immediately felt Braxton Hicks contractions, slamed the bathroom door (right next to my son’s room), then came out of the bathroom to yell at me some more about how I “shit all over him” and hurt his ego, and how he had a long day at work. Yeah I had a long day too, I had an 8am appt with a high risk doctor to discuss my high risk pregnancy, worked a full day, made dinner for my son, drove back to the same hospital I was at this morning, and walked around for over an hour in intense pain. I am carrying a baby and the burden of knowing my body is struggling to keep that baby safe and I live with that stress every single day. But he works one 10 hour day and that gives him license to be a jerk.
So after my mom drama yesterday (still waiting for her to respond) i saw this FB post she shared. It’s in Spanish but it pretty much says to give an applause to moms who went through spanking with a belt/sandal and slapping to result with obedient behavior. It’s common in Hispanic culture to at least joke about this. I know it’s not directed to me but after she pretty much said she doesn’t agree with how i do certain things it got me thinking. I think it’s poor character to be bragging about this stuff and it really bugged me she would post this and have an aunt come and applaud her back.
@zande2016 good for you for speaking up @ the hospital. And I'm so sorry about your dh's mantrum (tm)...not cool. I hope he calms down and apologizes for his explosion.
@acunamatada ah I feel so much better now that you said that. I literally came home and cried to dh questioning whether he's be better off in daycare because I've trained him to be a dick. #hormones
@zande2016 she apparently just doesn’t agree with how i run my life and choose to raise my son sometimes. Her post just really rubbed me the wrong way after her drama. Maybe I’m reading to much into it but i don’t see why she would even think posting this is appropriate. hope the morning isn’t too bad for you!
@zande2016 I feel like my H never listens to me when I’m trying to make plans for something. He’s even joked about it before. And then still has the nerve to get upset when I change his plans he made over top of the ones we already had. It’s ridiculous to throw a huge tantrum about it though. I hope that his lack of words to you is him taking a breather to suck up his pride so he can apologize.
@zande2016 ugh I hate fights that don't resolve before bed. I hope your day gets better.
Ds said, "I DON'T WANT THESE." And dumped his dry cereal all over the floor. I put the dogs away and made him clean it up. He didn't sleep til 9 and woke up at 6:40, I am also hoping for a day better than these omens predict, lol.
@zande2016 sorry to hear about the fight and then mantrum with your H! It sounds like he wasn’t very empathetic to your situation, and we all need empathy at this stage in our pregnancies.
@wildtot, good for you for speaking up. That post from that woman is a little weird, even if it wasn’t directed at you.
@MrsMiller8588 I hope everything works out for your job, or that you at least have time to figure something else out.
My lame-o random is that I’m wearing a dress today on our first really warm day of the season, but my swollen feet will only fit in this one pair of ugly shoes. Why am I ok with buying a few maternity clothes but not shoes, lol?
@SmashJam@zande2016 was it a full moon last night or something? My toddler kept grabbing handfuls of DH chest, refused to go upstairs for bed, pretended she didn't hear us and kept playing. We told her no books, I got down on her level and made her cry giant elephant tears when she realized I was angry and not playing. She asked for a hug so I scooped her up and we had a chat in her chair - she earned back 1 book by letting me cut her nails without a fight (which is usually a 2 parent job to hold her down for it). +1 for DH not retaining information and joking about it. I just put it on his work and google calendars and let him adult on his own. I blow a gasket at him when he wants to discuss kitchen stuff or something we've talked about 1000x and I don't want to rehash again. @zande2016 sorry you had such a rough night.
@zande2016 I gave up way back in 2014 during my first pregnancy on trying to keep my husband involved or interested. I do all appointments, tours, classes, etc by myself. It's just not worth the headache for me to hear the complaining and whining. I do get jealous when I read or hear people talk about their super involved husbands, but I am just too tired of trying to make him give a damn about this stuff when I know he just doesn't care.
The only bright side of the way I am doing things is he gets 0 input into the decisions I make, so it's less headache for me. I ask him for input from time to time when I want his opinion, but usually just hear back "it's up to you."
Anyway, I know I am not encouraging at all since I basically threw the towel in, but it has been much easier for me to cope this way. I basically just have 0 expectations other than him showing up for the c section.
@cseley321 my husband is the type that WANTS to be involved, but is incapable of listening to me when I speak. I don't think its that he's disinterested, I honestly think he is just a man child who cannot handle appointments and multi tasking. And I desperately want his input because I am SO CONFUSED about what to do, and he's always like "whatever you think hun." It is frustrating. He finally apologized to me for his blow up while we were sitting in the waiting room this morning. Then the meeting didn't go well (I cried, what else is new, I can't talk about labor/delivery/my past experiences without crying apparently), and he hugged me and said it'll be okay. I appreciate him always looking on the bright side, but god dammit please just give me some concrete input aside from "it'll be okay."
Re: Weekday Randoms - 4/30
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
@MrsMiller8588 thanks, I'll check it out. We have like 20 we both don't hate that we're going through but DH seems to keep thinking there's other options out there we didn't find but hasn't actually gone through a list himself - we did have fun reading the credits at Infinity Wars for ideas while waiting for the post credits scene!
PSA: They’re closing the baby names app May 4th.. I’m not sure if it will work after Friday!
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
Found a similar one from "Charlie's Names" so far ok...wish you could filter better - it's either 1 country only or ALL countries but same concept of a "tinder for baby names" but with 3 levels of love, like, hate.
TTC December 2016
BFP 2/28/17 // CP 3/1/17
MFI Diagnosis: Aug 2017
BFP 11/1/17 // DS born 6/18
TTC January 2019
BFP 3/21/19 // D&C (MMC) 5/8/19
microdeletions) which we didn’t because of the false positives my genetic counselor has seen. We felt that if things looked concerning on u/s then we would do an amnio because it’s more accurate. And everything has looked perfect. It’s was just so stupid to bring it up because the only reason I’m here is because of MY health issue, not my baby’s.
Me (32) Dx PCOS, DH (32) SA = Normal/mild morph issues
TTC#5 July 2017 - 3rd cycle TTC = BFP on 11/12/17 at 9dpo Beta #1 = 96 at 13dpo - Beta #2 = 207 at 15dpo
3 rounds of Clomid + TI and 3 rounds of 7.5 mg Femara + IUI before our BFP on 11/8/10 at 12dpiui
TTC #2 3rd cycle of Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 4 follies = BFP on 10/12/12
TTC#3 July 2014 - Metformin +TI = BFP at 9dpo - Twins, one baby lost at 5.5 weeks
Macy Annabelle born at 37w4d on 4/29/15. Diagnosed with Cri du Chat and passed away on 6/6/15. Forever in our hearts.
TTC#4 3rd cycle of Metformin + Femara 7.5mg+Ovidrel+TI = 3 follies = BFP on 12/24/16
I'm uber stressed out about daycare. I've shared some of my concerns related to DD's current school before, and DH recently said we should tour other places if I've got a gut feeling that something is wrong. I'm no debating whether I should sit down and have a discussion with the new director before I go though. UGH!
kissableviv my one regret with this pregnancy is not signing up for disability through my work and to make matters worse, I work in HR! lol….we were trying to get pregnant and everything, it was totally planned! Guess my pregnancy brain started even before pregnancy lol
gingerbride26 they can put that type of stipulation on unlimited time off?! Ridiculous!
MrsMiller8588 im so sorry! Butttttttt, as crappy as that is, if you go to go back to work and the company laid everyone off there is always unemployment compensation which equals more time with baby! Or hopefully they just give a bomb.com severance package. It will give you some time to look for a new role too.
Sarafuss jealous about you getting to work remotely! So sorry for your loss and for having some dbag bring it up
xoxo
*edited for grammar
"Unlimited vacation" is a complete joke corporations play on employees and potential employees to make them think they're getting something wonderful. You cannot take more than 10 consecutive days - this is a major problem for our employees that want to go back to Europe or India for 3 weeks to visit family. If you take the 10 days, you must work for 2 pay periods (i.e. 4 weeks) before taking any more PTO. PTO approval is at the discretion of management - and the management training is that you should still stick to what someone "SHOULD" be getting based on tenure - i.e. 2 weeks versus 5 weeks - so they are trying to make the managers the bad guys in the middle. Studies have found that by not carrying a BALANCE of accrued vacation, most people forget to take vacation and keep working, also you do not have to pay out non-existent vacation balances during a layoff and also don't carry it on the books as a liability. They do track how much everyone takes and send periodic reports. At the same time they've cut our floating holidays because now we have unlimited vacation.
Also, add me to the no motivation to work club!
@Sarafuss I'm so sorry that you're going through this, I hope you get to go home soon.
@hillbillywife that's exciting!
I have exactly 1.5 months of work left! Cannot believe it! I'm definitely feeling stressed and swamped with appointments and to-dos recently. My HVAC project is finally done but my house is still a mess, we need to paint a wall where the gas heater was removed, get the carpets professionally cleaned, schedule a deep cleaning and start on the baby room. Also, we're having people come to treat for termites that we have under the garage. My parents are coming this Sunday to get us a dresser and whatever else for the baby's room. The room is a disaster and has basically been turned in to a storage room of amazon boxes/guest room recently. I somehow need to get it in order by Sunday.
Also, design help please!!!!!! The room that will be the nursery is super small and will be the baby's room and the guest room, AND I have a giant ikea wardrobe in there. The room has light gray walls, a light beige sleeper sofa, a light beige wardrobe and a huge corner window with the curtains pictured below. The wardrobe has really pretty knobs that match the turquoise color on the curtains. The wardrobe, couch and curtains are staying. What can I do for wall decor that will match? I'm getting cute throw pillows for the couch. Should I get rid of the curtains? I can't figure out how to find decor that goes with them.
Congrats on 1.5 months left of work, BTW!! When are you planning on having the deep cleaning done? I'd definitely like it done, but I also am going through a remodel (which better be done by the end of this month). And then I don't want to get the deep cleaning done too soon because then things will get dirty again and would feel the need to do it again before she's born, but that's just my own neuroses.
I just had a bit of work done at my house and all I can say is do not waste a deep cleaning till all work is 100% done! Even if the crew is super careful the floors will get dirty and there will be dust.
Then he scratched me in the face during bedtime snuggles. On purpose.
Small victories. Sigh.
I definitely think they can understand punishment at this age if you explain it. DS still talks about hitting the girl and that it was bad. But I hate that he keeps bringing it up, I didn’t want it to be an ongoing issue.
slamed the bathroom door (right next to my son’s room), then came out of the bathroom to yell at me some more about how I “shit all over him” and hurt his ego, and how he had a long day at work. Yeah I had a long day too, I had
an 8am appt with a high risk doctor to discuss my high risk pregnancy, worked a full day, made dinner for my son, drove back to the same hospital I was at this morning, and walked around for over an hour in intense pain. I am carrying a baby and the burden of knowing my body is struggling to keep that baby safe and I live with that stress every single day. But he works one 10 hour day and that gives him license to be a jerk.
I just feel feel so alone in all of this.
@acunamatada ah I feel so much better now that you said that. I literally came home and cried to dh questioning whether he's be better off in daycare because I've trained him to be a dick. #hormones
Well my husband slept on the couch last night and we’ve barely said two words to each other since his tantrum. Should be a fun morning.
hope the morning isn’t too bad for you!
Ds said, "I DON'T WANT THESE." And dumped his dry cereal all over the floor. I put the dogs away and made him clean it up. He didn't sleep til 9 and woke up at 6:40, I am also hoping for a day better than these omens predict, lol.
@wildtot, good for you for speaking up. That post from that woman is a little weird, even if it wasn’t directed at you.
@MrsMiller8588 I hope everything works out for your job, or that you at least have time to figure something else out.
My lame-o random is that I’m wearing a dress today on our first really warm day of the season, but my swollen feet will only fit in this one pair of ugly shoes. Why am I ok with buying a few maternity clothes but not shoes, lol?
+1 for DH not retaining information and joking about it. I just put it on his work and google calendars and let him adult on his own. I blow a gasket at him when he wants to discuss kitchen stuff or something we've talked about 1000x and I don't want to rehash again. @zande2016 sorry you had such a rough night.
The only bright side of the way I am doing things is he gets 0 input into the decisions I make, so it's less headache for me. I ask him for input from time to time when I want his opinion, but usually just hear back "it's up to you."
Anyway, I know I am not encouraging at all since I basically threw the towel in, but it has been much easier for me to cope this way. I basically just have 0 expectations other than him showing up for the c section.