TTC After a Loss

April TWW

13

Re: April TWW

  • @baby1wasbornintoheaven Yeah, I'm sort of flabbergasted that she even gave you such a short timeline! I mean, you never know... but personally I'd rather be told something further away and be happily surprised that it happened earlier, rather than expecting to be the special snowflake getting KU with a rainbow almost right away and then having to wait and wait and wait. Because if it didn't happen that 3rd cycle, I'd be devastated. And every cycle after that I'd be super upset feeling like I SHOULD be PG based upon what I was told... Just sounds like a possible set-up for more mental drama and MC already causes more than enough of that!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • CD 36. 12 DPO. Temp dipped this morning. Not below cover line, but pretty low. Pretty sure I'm gonna be out this cycle. FF thinks AF will arrive on Sunday. Of course, I had a slow rise pattern after O anyway, so it's probably better to be out this cycle anyway. But blah.

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

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  • @dpjennifer fx that ff is wrong!  I have never used that app. Do you like it?  I use Ovia, not sure which is better?

    In unrelated news I had to google what SMEP was today. Am I the only one who didn't know what this was?  Also upon googling there is noooo way that is feasible for me. Similar to the what seems like a lot of us "too much pressure" and all that would do is wear us out!  I had no idea that was so common. 

    Also - you guys - I've made it week 1 of 2 resisting the urge to POAS!  
  • BuckeyeNut05 I've never used Ovia, so I can't offer a comparison. However, I do really like Fertility Friend. It allows me to chart my temps, my weight (so I can check my weight daily and know how it change with O and AF, super helpful for me). I don't have the paid version, but you can also chart your symptoms and all kinds of things! It used to be THE tracker recommended by the TTGP group of gals.
    I knew what SMEP was, but only because it's something that was talked about on here like a year and a half ago. Le sigh. Sucks being around so long you remember this kind of stuff.
    Also, I wish FF were wrong, but I had a bit of spotting today, temp is still only slightly above the line, and some cramps have started this evening. Anticipating AF in full force probably tomorrow...

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • I'm popping myself over here now. Temp shot up today!
  • I go here now... CD15. I am confident O happened late CD13 or early morning CD14 based on when my OPK tests showed my surge and my BBT over the past few days.

    We get a day off BD today and try one more time tomorrow just for good measure but I kinda already know tomorrow is just going to be a more for fun session which is actually a nice way to end SMEP and perhaps distract myself a bit. I am in a wedding May 5 so this TWW will be full of distractions - hopefully I can hold off on POAS until at least after the wedding!!

    @BuckeyeNut05 I have both Ovia and FF. Honestly when we first started TTC I was using Ovia only, no OPKs or BBT yet and I have found that it shows most of what it thinks is my fertile period after O while FF more accurately displays my fertile period leading up to O. And I have a fairly standard O date range. So though we were more NTNP  at the time I now understand that I would have had a tough time getting pregnant relying on Ovia. The prediction of fertile time actually got worse in Ovia the more data I put in. Just my own experience! Now I mostly use FF and the app that syncs with my basal thermometer which seem to be pretty in sync.
  • @BuckeyeNut05 I agree with @bethica83 I had the same experience with Ovia.  However when I first started TTC I only used Ovia.  I had never even heard of FF and I did get pregnant and had my son but the more info I put into Ovia the worse it got so I only put in OPKs.  I learned of FF after my first loss and started using it more and more once I started temping and find its way more accurate 
  • Thanks for the feedback everyone!  I put the FF app on my phone and input temps for the last month so hopefully I'll have more luck with this one. That's interesting to know about Ovia because I have been putting my entire life story in there it seems...  I am still in the TWW and holding out a tiny bit of hope at 9 DPO, but based on the symptoms I had last time it's not looking great. I also lost my sense of self-control and keep peeing on cheapies from the dollar store each morning, which are all negative, of course. 

    @dpjennifer sorry to hear you're out this month
  • BuckeyeNut05BuckeyeNut05 member
    edited April 2018
    The bump ate the rest of my post.

    @bethica83 and @Mack2342 fingers crossed for you this month!!!

    I keep checking back periodically to see if anyone gets their BFP!
  • Heading over here now CD16 and the waits begins...
  • Yey!!! The wait is torturous...
  • @prpl11butterfly and @char245 I am diving into my hobbies and workouts on the days I don't have matron of honor tasks. Kind of like with a job interview, the wait is hard but you did your part and now just have to let things run their course.
  • My goal is just to stay as stress free as possible. Easier said then done but I'm trying. I don't really have hobbies these days (unless you count mounds of laundry :joy:) to distract me. Everything I try to do gets interrupted by the tiny humans.
  • @prpl11butterfly aren't tiny humans hobbies???
  • @bethica83 well yes, but not when they are old enough to know how to entertain themselves. I love coming to work just so I get 8 hours of peeing whenever I want without being watched (and the dog is included in this frustration)
  • @prpl11butterfly here it is just cats. But never a moment alone.
  • *lurking*

    oh my gosh, yay @tosh24!  I know that feeling all too well, I so hope this one sticks and betas look good on Tuesday!  
    Me: 35  H: 35
    Married: 4/5/13

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    that place where you can still remember dreaming?
    That's where I will always love you.  
    That's where I'll be waiting."
    ~Peter Pan 

    *TW*
    BFP #1: 11/12/12  EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13
    BFP #2: 10/29/17   MMC dx @ 9 weeks
    BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
    BFP #4: 3/2/18  MC 3/9/18
    RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
    BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl  :'(
    Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
    BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19  <3  Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 
    BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022 
  • @tosh24 Yasssss!  Congrats and everything crossed super hard for you!  Good luck staying sane until your betas, and let us know how it goes!
  • @tosh24 eeek! I know it may be hard to just enjoy this right now but try to be present in today without going into past losses or future possibilities. Even just taking a few moments every day to just be present in your now is a good way to get through this week. You deserve a little joy each day no matter what tomorrow brings. Xoxo
  • @tosh24 yay!! We need some good news around here! Keep us posted and I’ll keep everything crossed for you!
  • Congrats @tosh24 that’s awesome news 
  • I’m jumping over here. Either one or 2 DPO
  • Congrats @tosh24!! Completely understand freaking out, and I really hope this one's viable! Fingers crossed for everything going well! 
  • @tosh24 Yay! I know it’s very hard to ride the PGAL rollercoaster. I am hoping so hard this is the one!
  • Omg omg omg!! @tosh24 everything crossed that this is your sticky baby!
  • @tosh24 what an amazing way to start my day! I'm so so SOOO happy for you! But i totally get the the nerves/anxiety! (An appointment with your therapist sounds like a great idea and I'm so glad you're taking care of yourself!) I have my fingers crossed so hard for you that they might break!!! Please please keep us updated!! WOOHOO!!!!!
  • Dropping myself in here although I think it's more of a wait for AF than a TWW to POAS.

    I finally got a blazing positive on OPK this weekend, and pains so bad I was curled up on the floor with a hot water bottle...but no temp rise.  I think my body geared up to O but didn't follow through.  Again.  Still having bad pains this morning and REALLY don't want to be at work.

  • tosh24 Your beta isn't until Tuesday!?!? Ugh... thinking about waiting that long is killing me and I'm just sitting at my computer biting my nails for you! But yay for therapy!!!  Hope she can calm you down and that this one sticks and works out for you!

    MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
    MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
    MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
    RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
    MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
    RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
    MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)

    RE #3: More testing 2023. 
    Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
    Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
    Lupron Depo March 2024.  Benched 3 months.  Hopefully FET after that.

    #BitterHagPartyOf1

  • 8DPO here... at the point where every time I pee I want to test "just to see" and feel like I am wasting pee when I don't. Dang POAS addiction.....

    I am going to try to hold out until after the wedding I am in this weekend just for my own sanity that day but I don't know if I am going to make it.

    @tosh24 I am so on the edge of my seat for you, I can't imagine how you feel waiting for tomorrow's betas. I hope your therapist is helpful today!

    @bakerstreetboys that sounds so frustrating! Here is to hoping it's just a delay and you O today.
  • BuckeyeNut05BuckeyeNut05 member
    edited April 2018
    Well, I am out for April. CD1.  :(

    Fingers still crossed for everyone else who's still in!

    @bethica83 hang in there!
    @bakerstreetboys I hope your stomach feels better soon. 
  • @tosh24 FX so hard for you! Congrats! 

  • Thanks for all the well wishes! I'm still freaking the eff out. I'm not nauseated today like I have been the last few days and my boobs hurt less today than yesterday so I'm basically telling myself I've already lost this one. Therapy today didn't really help,  unfortunately. Ugh....I should have a better idea of what's going on after my second beta on Thursday. No effing clue how I'm going to make it 'til then at this point. All your support helps,  though!!!
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • @tosh24 with my son I had no symptoms at all but had all the symptoms with 2 of 3 MCs.  So symptoms don’t really mean a thing.  FX for great betas tomorrow 
  • bethica83bethica83 member
    edited May 2018
    @tosh24 One breath at a time is how you mske it to Thursday. I was just lap swimming so breathing is sorta front and center for me today. I remember battling depression as a teen by applying my "one lap at a time" principle to life and on my bad days it was one breath at a time.

    I am currently using it to hold off POAS.

    And @Mack2342 makes an excellent point about symptoms. Hang tight and just ride this out as best you can! We are all here for you!
  • Day three of positive OPKs.  CD18.  Ugh.
  • tosh24tosh24 member
    @Mack2342 and @bethica83 Thank you, both. I needed to hear what you had to say  <3
    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • 40momma40momma member
    @tosh24 YESSSSSS amazing news. The roller coaster of RPL just plain sucks but try to remember that right now you are pregnant. Sending you so many good vibes. Keep breathing and Thursday will be here soon! 
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