PGAL Check-in w/o 4/11

wildrainbow · April 2018

I hope it's ok if I post this, I didn't see where it was assigned to anyone and it's been about two weeks since a new thread.

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone-filled craziness that is pregnancy! Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

4. Any appointment updates?

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?

kbrown2385 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

7 weeks. Passed the times of 2 previous losses. Next milestone is to see the heartbeat/baby which will happen on Monday.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

Happy to be feeling nauseous, crampy, super tired, sore boobs, hungry and having an aversion to leafy vegetables. My husband wants Brussels sprouts tonight and the thought is making me sick.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I have my moments for sure. My boobs weren’t sore this morning and I wasn’t feeling cramping or nauseous, so I automatically went into panic mode. Of course I’m feeling it all now and I’m sure everything is fine. For the most part I’m pretty confident.

4. Any appointment updates?

I haven’t had an appt since last week, so waiting for this next one has been excruciating at times.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):

Im really just ready to see the heartbeat and know everything is progressing. Seeing people post about their losses this time around is making me anxious and I can’t help but think the worst.

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Gilmore girls or Downton Abbey.

ginny_203 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? So excited to be 7w1d! Can't wait to see that beautiful heartbeat again at our scan tomorrow!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Intermittently nauseous - but when it comes on, it comes on strong, crampy, breast/nipple tenderness, gassy, exhausted... All the fun ones

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I have good days and bad still. Seeing that heartbeat last Friday really helped. I'm scared I'll go to the doctors tomorrow and there won't be a heartbeat anymore

4. Any appointment updates? Can't wait for tomorrow at 2:30. We might tell our parents this weekend if everything goes well.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I do have to shout out to my husband who has been a lifesaver this week. He's a macho man, but has always been very supportive and helpful. All of that has kicked into high gear this week and he's really outdone himself. He's done all the grocery shopping, has started helping me prep/cook (has never cooked before in his life) and insists on doing all the laundry and cleaning up after every meal. So thankful every day that I picked a good one, and can't wait to see him become a daddy

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Anything on HGTV but especially love the renovation shows like Property Brothers, Fixer Upper and Flip or Flop. @kbrown2385 I'm also currently finishing season 6 of Downton Abbey and love it!

vrj0522 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 8+3. I've passed my milestones and yet, I probably will continue to be nervous until we get NIPT results back.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Mildly nausated, super gassy and with a tummy ache pretty much all day. And oh so exhausted.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Still worried although I try not to think about it too much. I think the fact that I have a SCH so I see blood regularly is not helping.

4. Any appointment updates? Saw baby on Monday and everything looked good minus SCH. I have the draw for NIPT on 4/23.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): I am currently training for a pretty physically demanding race in 3.5 weeks but I am quickly losing fitness. I am just really hoping I can do it and finish it. And that spotting remains light, or I will have to call it.

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? HGTV's Property Brothers

mockingjay1 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 9w3d - I've passed my two loss milestones

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Better than I have been feeling, just exhausted and nauseous occasionally. Oh and vivid dreams all. night. long. so I feel like I'm hardly sleeping. I just had my 6th or 7th dream this baby was a girl.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I am finally feeling optimistic. I think being able to hear baby on doppler has really helped ease my anxiety along with all my ultrasounds looking good

4. Any appointment updates? My 9 week ultrasound went great this week. You could see baby wiggling all over. Next week is my last weekly ultrasound and then I'll be treated as a normal patient. I'll also have my NIPT done next week.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): My parents are coming tomorrow for a few days, so we're going to tell them I'm pregnant. I told DS this morning and it was the sweetest thing. He is so excited and keeps trying to look in my shirt to see baby.

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Criminal Minds

offtoneverland · April 2018

@wildrainbow Absolutely it's okay that you posted this. Thanks for doing it. I meant to start a new one last week but I forgot. The thread is not assigned to anyone though, so go ahead and start it in future weeks if you'd like!
I'll be back later to read and comment!

wildrainbow · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
My dates changed due to baby jumping ahead, so I'm 9w3d. @mockingjay1 due date buddies!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?
Not the greatest right. I go through periods throughout the day where nausea and heartburn are having a battle royale. My boobs are so tender and toddler elbows are not helping that.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?
I'm ok this week. I found baby on Doppler for 2.5 seconds the other day. I will probably try again this week

4. Any appointment updates?
I have another u/s scheduled for the 17th. I think my Dr is going to want to an NIPT as well. Unfortunately, insurance won't cover it, sigh.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):
I am going home this weekend to tell my family. I always get super nervous when I tell someone like it's going to kind it or something. My friend made this super cute shirt for ds and it will funny to watch how long it takes for my dad and step mom to notice

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?
I hate myself for posting this question because it honestly depends on my mood. I guess my favorite of all time, though, is MASH. DH got me the DVD set when we were dating.

herewegoagain3rd · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

7 weeks today! We are past the point when our last pregnancy stopped developing (although it wasn't discovered until 8-9weeks).

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

Not feeling pregnant necessarily, just kind of crappy. I have very sore boobs, I want to eat everything, and I will get waves of nausea that don't last long usually. Oh, I am also so tired but when I go to sleep at night I have a hard time sleeping. And can't forget hip pain already!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

I am doing a lot better than last week although as my appointment gets closer, I get more anxious. I am worried that even though we saw a heartbeat last time, it won't be there this time or the baby won't have grown.

4. Any appointment updates?

I have an appointment tomorrow, although I found out today that it was suppose to be today and I wrote it down wrong

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here):

Going back to school this week has been really hard. I have absolutely no motivation and everything the kids do irrate me so much easier. Also, the stress level seems to have gotten to me. I felt very off today after I had a rough morning when a crazy driver almost hit my daughter in the school's parking lot and the kids being so disrespectful. I was really considering calling my RE because I was worried, but since being home, I feel a lot better.

Also, seeing all these trigger posts in the last couple of days is so hard. It makes me so scared.

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?

Not sure I have any right now. I always like the Simpsons, Bob's Burger, LA to Vegas, and Superstore. I tend to like light hearted stuff vs the heavier shows. Although I really like The Crossing pilot.

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 9 weeks tomorrow

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Generally crappy but nothing that screams "I'm pregnant!" Heartburn every night, always have to go pee and I probably squeeze my boobs at least 5 times a day to make sure they still hurt at least a little. Ha! Some achy kinda discomfort and probably RLP if I move too quick, (although I'm pretty careful to take it slow given the scare RLP has always given me in the past) Also, low blood sugars multiple times a day, which is a good first trimester sign for me, it means baby it producing growth hormones (or some medical thing I don't remember anymore?) that is making me more insulin sensitive.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Off the charts negativity... Every day I see that "Your baby is as big as..." and my first thought is "Maybe, or maybe its already gone and it's not growing at all" Trying really hard to push that back and not let it steal my joy and all, but I'm not doing so well. I had three healthy pregnancies, but that was nearly 10 years ago. I never doubted anything with them. I'm past my loss milestone already and have had a positive ultrasound with growth and heartbeat since then, but I just can't shake this. @bfpafter4years +1 for being hella shaken by all the losses. Keep wondering if I'm next.

4. Any appointment updates? I'll see my endocrinologist on the 26th to look at the T1D side of things. Don't see the baby again until 12 week scan on May 7th. SO. FAR. AWAY. I try every other day to catch a heartbeat with a home doppler, but nothing yet (telling myself that is FINE because I'm early and hae

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): Life is CRAZY. Work is crazy, with lots of overtime required right now. At home, 4 of our 5 kids are in the midst of science fair projects, so there is dry ice and magnets in my freezer, glue guns, batteries and wires and boxes everywhere, and 5 cups of grass growing on our windowsill. My SS is having more trouble with school, so that is taking a lot of physical and emotional energy for DH. I can support him, but SS's Mom doesn't want me involved, so I'm sidelined for most of it. With my freelance work, I'm falling behind with my clients because of all the office job OT and being so tired by the time I get home, also gearing up for year end art shows with my art students, booking paint parties and live art performances as much as I can while trying to leave room to sleep, and doing some side projects to promote the book I illustrated which was just launched. Also have some extra kiddos coming for the weekend, (who I do respite for), so we'll have 7 kids in the house starting on Friday after school. I love ALL the different parts of my life, but it just feels like SO much right now when my brain is obsessed with what may or may not be happening in my uterus, ya know? (deep breath)

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? Anything where a person dies under uncertain circumstances and other people try to find out who did it and why. Bonus points if they have super powers, can time travel, are zombies, have troubled back stories, or something

MouseMama817 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
7 + 2. I’m officially passed the point that we lost our last baby, although technically I immediately hit that milestone since that baby didn’t make it to my uterus and this one is where it’s supposed to be. It still feels odd.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?
Low-level nausea all day long. I’m thankful that I haven’t actually felt the need to vomit but I still feel like sh*t for most of the day. Food aversions are at an all time high. The smell of my beef stroganoff cooking in the crockpot is making my stomach turn. It’s freaking beef stroganoff! Who gets turned off by that??

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?
Feeling pretty good. I think I experienced some RLP the other day which made me nervous until I realized what it must be. I never experienced it with DD so had nothing to compare it to other than bump mates descriptions.

4. Any appointment updates?
My first official appointment was pushed to 5/7 to accommodate my Medicaid bologna. I’ve had blood tests and early u/s but haven’t been able to see my midwife yet. I’m thankful that my OB & MW are happy enough with my test results to allow me to avoid having to pay out of pocket for an office visit, but still annoyed that I had to even request it.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): It’s been an uneventful week thankfully! Something cute that happened though: DH, DD and I picked MIL up from work the other night. MIL was asking DD (2yo) how school’s going and who her best friend is. She didn’t respond so I repeated the question “Who’s your best friend?” And she replied “Uhh..Papa!” (My dad). It absolutely melted my heart!

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?
I have so many. The typical Shonda Rhimes line up minus HTGAWM. I just couldn’t get into it. I listen to Parks &Rec on my headphones every night to fall asleep. Not because it’s boring, but because I’ve seen it so many times I have it memorized so it’s like having a white noise machine tell you jokes. Best show ever. The Office and Friends are also up there. DH teases me that I go through a regular rotation all year long of watching every season of one show, then switching to the next favorite show. Rinse and repeat.
I just recently got into Flint Town on Netflix and it’s pretty great. I like a documentary broken down into episodes like that.

tgortney · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
7+5, I’ve finally surpassed my final loss milestone. We saw the HB!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

Some nausea, frequently peeing, SO MANY ZITS OMG

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

Since we saw the HB Tuesday, I feel a lot better. BUT I also bought a fetal Doppler today on Groupon

4. Any appointment updates?

May 16th for NT scan with blood work. I’ll be 12+2!

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): WE SAW THE HB YAAAAY! Pretty much the highlight of my week. Sweet little flicker of amazingness. DS has also been extra sweet at bed time

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show?
i can’t wait for The Handmaids Tale to come back and we love Game of Thrones

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

Ahh, I found out that you can get a quick heart beat scans at a private ultrasound clinic for $20. Got an appointment for tomorrow afternoon! Hopefully this can ease some stress...

@tgortney, I LOVE the Handmaids Tale! Have you watched Alias Grace? It's another Atwood adaptation, and was really good as well.

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

*tw... question, need some guidance on how to proceed if you’ve been here... not sure where to post (questions/appts?) Anyway, since you’ve all experienced loss I’ll try here

Fetal assessment tomorrow morning.

We didn’t find a heartbeat yesterday at the private (non-diagnostic) clinic, so my dr said to meet her at fetal assessment tomorrow morning, fasting, so we can decide how to proceed. Medically/rationally, I have no reason to hope that there is any reason to believe we will be surprised by anything different than what I saw yesterday. However, there is still that minuscule sliver of hope hanging on against reason. Hope is a cruel little bitc#

I'm assuming that since she specified I should be fasting, that she wants to be ready for a D&C? What should I expect? (I am 36, 9w2d, and have a complicated medical history) How long is it likely to take? How much time should I plan to take off work? Am I OK to go alone and drive myself about an hour home? (DH has a job that is tricky to book off from, and is working on Monday)

offtoneverland · April 2018

@prairiemomma82 Where is your appointment at tomorrow? At the OB's office? I have not had a D&C myself, but I've gotten the impression from others that you will usually be put under anesthesia, so I'm not sure they would do that at an OB office. However, I've heard of some people not getting full anesthesia for their procedure.
I'm not sure why your doctor would want you to be fasting though, so it's possible that may be her plan. If I were you, I would plan to bring someone to the appointment with me to drive me home just in case.
I hope some others who've had D&Cs can chime in here since I have no experience, I've just read about them. You'll probably need to take a day or two off of work though, and make sure you relax and let your body heal.
Please keep us posted tomorrow, if you're comfortable talking about it. We'll all be thinking about you. And again, I'm so sorry you're going through this.

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

@offtoneverland my ob’s clinic is run in the basement of the women’s hospital. She wants me to meet her in the fetal assessment department. It’s the same building I delivered all my babies in too, so everything is there. I wish I had been mentally aware enough to ask intelligent questions, but it was about 20 min after the ultrasound and I was too emotional. I think DH is going to push to get a family emergency day for tomorrow. My coworker is covering for me Monday and I arranged a sub for my art classes on Tuesday. Hopefully that will suffice. F*€k I hate this... thanks for your words and support.

kbrown2385 · April 2018

@prairiemomma82 I’ve had 2 d&c’s with 2 different obs and both times I was put under. It’s an outpatient procedure and take 30 minutes at most. Pre op and discharge take longer than the actual procedure. Pain was minimal for me. I usually sleep for the remainder of the day. My first one I was still working so i had it done on a Friday so I could take the weekend. A couple days to recover will probably be fine, the emotional healing takes longer. Wishing you the best.

Edit for tag

mockingjay1 · April 2018

kbrown2385 said:

@prairiemomma82 I’ve had 2 d&c’s with 2 different obs and both times I was put under. It’s an outpatient procedure and take 30 minutes at most. Pre op and discharge take longer than the actual procedure. Pain was minimal for me. I usually sleep for the remainder of the day. My first one I was still working so i had it done on a Friday so I could take the weekend. A couple days to recover will probably be fine, the emotional healing takes longer. Wishing you the best.

Edit for tag

This. My d&c was done at 9.5 weeks and it was a quick procedure. It was done in outpatient surgery and I had to have someone to drive me home because of anesthesia. A couple days off work will probably be ok. I hardly had any bleeding or cramping after just felt a little wonky for a day from the anesthesia. Thinking of you.

wildrainbow · April 2018

@prairiemomma82 I had a d&c around 10 weeks. I second (third?) what the pps said. The procedure itself is short, but recovery and pre OP take a while. Pain is minimal after surgery and I was back at work in a few days. I will say that having the d&c helped me emotionally because it was "over". This thinking could stem from the long drawn out process of one of my previous losses. I'm hoping and praying for a quick recovery for you. Please let us know how things go tomorrow. I know we will all be thinking of you.

prairiemomma82 · April 2018

@offtoneverland @kbrown2385 @mockingjay1 @wildrainbow thanks so much for sharing your experiences and guidance. I updated in my post. So thankful for your input

herewegoagain3rd · April 2018

My PGAL anxiety is going crazy tonight. I have my appointment tomorrow and I will be exactly 8 weeks. I am so scared that tomorrow will not go well. Last week everything was great. Baby was right on track with a good heartbeat. I really have no reason to think it won't be the same tomorrow, but I am just so scared.

vrj0522 · April 2018

@bfpafter4years - I'm sorry your are feeling worried. It really is so hard not to expect the worst once you've had a loss. Fx everything is perfect tomorrow.

mrsdrez · April 2018

@bfpafter4years I'm with you! I have an appointment today too and I'll be exactly 10 weeks. I also had a scan last week and baby was measuring ahead with a good heartbeat but I'm still terrified today won't go well. This will be my first appointment with my OB so I think I'm waiting for her to tell me good things before I let myself relax and get excited.

ginny_203 · April 2018

@bfpafter4years @mrsdrez count me in as one of the ladies who's desperately trying to fight the anxiety, especially when there's no reason to think anything has gone wrong since last week's appointment. Can't wait to hear about your great appointments today!

I still have to wait until tomorrow afternoon for mine.

herewegoagain3rd · April 2018

@ginny_203 thanks!! I updated the appointment thread, but wanted to post here too. Everything went well! Baby is measuring right on track with a strong heartbeat.

I hope your appointment goes well today!

highsteaks · April 2018

eta- ugh, posted in the wrong week. my apologies!

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 9 weeks today. past the weeks of both my losses (mmc at 8weeks then early mc at 4 weeks) and have seen two strong heartbeats.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? nauseated, ravenously hungry, tired, crampy.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? i just found out on monday that i’m carrying spontaneous twins. was initially shocked, but have since mellowed out (after reading a mountain of information about what to expect with twins/twin pregnancy). i think subconsciously i’m still really anxious though because i’m having a very hard time relaxing and going to sleep.

4. Any appointment updates? first ob appointment was monday, waiting to get a call from maternal fetal medicine to schedule an ultrasound for risk evaluation of the twins.

5. What's been happening in your life this week? Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here): my mom is here visiting from across the country and she has been amazing to me. she suspended her return flight when she found out i was pregnant, to help as long as i need. she is cooking, cleaning, running out to get food that i can stomach, and watching my 3yo dd for me if i need a break when i’m feeling especially sick. i feel so insanely lucky to have her here right now.

GTKY: What is your favorite TV show? so many to choose from! game of thrones, the crown, parks and rec, younger. that’s just the more recent stuff!

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