Your 4/12 Unpopular Opinions Go Here

runrinserepeat · April 2018

Image: https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1piNC32sdTU/VUpaHtXx4UI/AAAAAAAADAM/pI8XYUn7hVc/s1600/what-boom.gif

and...... go.

coco2787 · April 2018

I don’t like the trend of younger women dying their hair a silvery color. You’ll have gray hair when you’re older, why would you want that in your 20s?

runrinserepeat · April 2018

coco2787 said:

I don’t like the trend of younger women dying their hair a silvery color. You’ll have gray hair when you’re older, why would you want that in your 20s?

Because it’s goooooooorgeous! I’m totally adore this trend, lol

AGK2015 · April 2018

People who are frequently sarcastic drive me bonkers. It's not funny, it doesn't make you sound smart, and frankly, it all too often borders on mocking people and thus is just rude. A well-delivered and well-timed facetious comment every now and again for emphasis is fine. If it's your default method of speaking with people, though, or if you take pride in how sarcastic you are, you're probably just an a**hole.

And I say this here as a reformed a**hole myself.

hkom · April 2018

@AGK2015 I AGREE! I am also a reformed a**hole. I prided myself on being "snarky" and thought it was a desirable quality for some reason and that it made me ~edgy~. Once I got out of my early 20s I realized it just made me a jerk AND that it was actually making me unhappy. I have friends who are still like this - everything is sarcasm and they like playing pranks on people for some reason? We are all at least 30 - stop pranking people! Honestly it just makes it impossible for me to trust anything they say or do and I don't know why you would want your friends to feel that way about you! It's nice to be nice!

echo-charlietango · April 2018

Oh, I have one. Actually I have more unpopular opinions than popular, but I digress.

I can't stand when mothers, *constantly* refer to themselves as "this mama" or similar. I feel that they are now defining their entire existence on their procreational abilities and all prior accomplishments are null and void. The IF-struggle part of me especially hates that title because it's insensitive to those who cannot reproduce, and the raging-feminist part of me mourns the loss of their identity.

*steps off soapbox*

maureenmce · April 2018

hkom said:

I have friends who are still like this - everything is sarcasm and they like playing pranks on people for some reason? We are all at least 30 - stop pranking people!

I have no idea if this is a popular or unpopular opinion, but PRANKS ARE ALMOST NEVER FUNNY. I'm 37 years old, I have witnessed so many pranks, I even once worked on a show with celebrity prankers - they are usually mean or just gross, not funny. And I have no idea how April Fool's is still even a thing. Has anyone ever experienced a good April Fool's joke? Because I have not. (But I HAVE seen 10,000,000 extremely boring fake pregnancies, engagements, jail stories, etc.) Down with pranks!

(I swear I'm a fun person, haha.)

morgantu · April 2018

@echo-charlietango OMG i hate that too! Or when people say things like "hang in there mama, you got this mama". ugh i don't know why it irks me SO MUCH. but it does. I hope i don't become that person in a year or so lol.

echo-charlietango · April 2018

@morgantu -YES. If anybody who doesn't live with me starts calling me "mama" like that I will seriously reply "that's not my name." And if anybody other than DH touches my tum (FX we all get that far) I will slap them for the intrusion -or maybe I'll pet their tum in return- to illustrate how weird it is to receive unwanted pets.

AGK2015 · April 2018

@echo-charlietango I totally get that and felt the same way... up until I became a mom and started unconsciously doing it myself (never in professional settings, only rarely in interpersonal adult settings, very frequently when it comes to family-related conversations). I spend a LOOOOOOOT of time at home referring to myself in the third person, so it kind of slips out. I'd never considered how that must feel to people battling IF or child loss though; thanks for bringing it to my attention so I can be more cognizant.

As for loss of identity, though... I wouldn't classify it that way. It's more of an identity shift (similar to the shift I made when I switched from teen to adult, or student to professional, or single girl to partner), except that it's additive instead of substitutive, because I'm still all of those things but I have this additional role that touches each of them. My professional and personal life and achievements and interests still absolutely matter, but motherhood has really altered the way I think about those things and my goals and my priorities and next moves and my paradigm of self. Some of that is obviously based in patriarchy; the fact that I have to consider my career goals (would I take that job without good parental leave? can I afford to change positions when it would affect my FMLA eligibility?) in the context of parenting where my husband mostly doesn't is absolutely a function of gendered expectations. Much if not most of it is just a personal redefining, though (I don't want a job with a longer commute, because it would cut 5 hours a week out of the already limited time I get to spend with my kid and I like her; I don't want to attend that girl's night out after the toddler goes down because I need that quiet time for myself more than I used to and more than I need a wine tasting; X is my pet issue now instead of Y because having a daughter/child has connected some different dots for me).

@morgantu I do occasionally call other women mama, but ONLY in the context of encouraging them or consoling them regarding parenting-related issues, and only women I know. It's "Hang in there, mama, you're doing a great job your kid WILL sleep someday," but "I'm proud of you, lady, standing up for yourself at work is tough!" If I do it to you, feel free to call me out!

celette482 · April 2018

@AGK2015 yeah, it’s really hard when you talk to your toddler and say “Mama loves you” to break the habit. I certainly don’t see it as a loss of identity so much as an increase of identity.

@echo-charlietango I dunno. I’m a trial attorney, so you’re not gonna find a more raging feminist than me. I do think of things differently because I have a kid. It’s the hormones, they mess with you forever. Do I write a blog where I talk about how “this mama needs coffee” and whatever twee nonsense is popular these days? No, I ain’t got time for that. Do I make a majority of my decisions in life, work included, with the fact that I’m a mom in mind? Yes, actually I do. Cardi B said she never wanted to succeed as much as she does now, and I resemble that. (She worded it a bit differently...)

morgantu · April 2018

@AGK2015 haha i think when it comes to talking about actual mothering, that it's ok. I'm not a mom yet, so i can't speak to being annoyed in that capacity. I just feel like in a lot of situations, a "lady" or "girlfriend" would suffice. For me, it's just a benign pet peeve so nbd, i was just surprised that someone else brought it up too!

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

@AGK2015 Everything you say x1,000. Was never planning on referring to myself or others as mama, but it happens. And it's a total identity shift.

westcoastfoodie · April 2018

@AGK2015 YES to the sarcasm UO. Also a reformed sarcastic asshole, here! I think for me it was a way of pushing people away and looking tough to protect myself. As an adult, I think being able to be vulnerable and have humility show maturity.

kchiquita20 · April 2018

Extravagant gender reveal parties. I’m so over it.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · April 2018

kchiquita20 said:

Extravagant gender reveal parties. I’m so over it.

Preach

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

^^ agreed.

hkom · April 2018

Yes on the gender reveals. I kinda feel the same way about any "announcement" That people seem to put waaayyy too much effort into (Engagements, pregnancy announcements).

You can just... tell people.

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

@hkom My MIL is super extra and so with A she had a photo shoot done with both sets of grandparents to announce. Then she kept pestering me to be able to put it up. It was everyone’s first grandchild so, fine. I thought we’d be done with the fanfare. But no — she’s already scheming this “reveal”. P.S. she also has more of a nursery set up in her house than I do

This is her idea this time:

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@hkom that was my plan this time around. Just... tell people. And then someone here posted pics of little kids in shirts that said, “regional manager”, “assistant to the regional manager”, and “assistant to the assistant to the regional manager - position to be filed x date”. and now I have to do that.

hkom · April 2018

@runrinserepeat Baha totally cool with The Office reference.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · April 2018

runrinserepeat said:

@hkom that was my plan this time around. Just... tell people. And then someone here posted pics of little kids in shirts that said, “regional manager”, “assistant to the regional manager”, and “assistant to the assistant to the regional manager - position to be filed x date”. and now I have to do that.

Please be my best friend. Kthanks. Also, we’re doing the office too!

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