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December 2018 Moms
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Telling your spouse

nsthilairensthilaire member
in December 2018 Moms
So here is the deal. Hubby and I started TTC in May 2017. Got pregnant right away and miscarried in July. Since then we have had 2 chemicals. Decided to "take a break" for a bit and during that time had some really major expenses that really took a toll on our savings. Things at my husbands job have also been really hectic. So here I am pregnant but haven't said anything just yet. Between the losses (2 were chemicals so when I told him I had to tell him it was only a few days before I had to tell him its not happening) and stress from other things I am just so hesitant to say something or mostly, HOW to tell him in a way that is less "oh great" and more  "we got this". Anyone have any tips or ideas, maybe even told a spouse after a loss or under stress? I know he will be fine and will get excited but want to soften the "blow" so to speak. 
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Re: Telling your spouse

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    echo-charlietangoecho-charlietango member
    Being cautious is understandable, but I would recommend simply telling him flat out. Did your pregnancy test tell you gently? Probably not. 

    If the worst happens, you’ll want each other for support. If the best happens, then you’re still there for each other! Personally, I know my DH would be upset if I didn’t tell him, even if it was to guard his feelings. 

    Talk it out! Get all of those fears and concerns on the table. Make a Plan A, a Plan B, and more as needed. Prepare yourselves and be happy you have such a great partner :smile:
    NTNP since Dec 2012 | TTC since Jan 2016
    Dx: Unspecified IF
    BFP#1 Nov 2017 • Blighted Ovum + MMC • D&C at nine weeks
    BFP#2 Apr 2018 • It's a boy! • Born 13 Dec 2018 :love:
    Anniversary
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    nsthilairensthilaire member
    and now I am imaging my pregnancy test patting me on my back saying "its ok hun!" haha I think it mostly just sucks to tell someone over and over "I am pregnant" and then "Scratch that, not anymore". What I want is my test to tell me "yup. its a good one" so I can tell him and he can commence with the processing without the rollercoaster. I suppose I will just have to get it over with and make sure there is a beer in the fridge or something haha 
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    tumbleweed-1tumbleweed-1 member
    You’ve told him right away for the other pregnancies, he might think it’s odd if you withhold this one for a while. Based on your history of sharing the news early, I’d share with him if I were you.
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    nsthilairensthilaire member
    No matter what I am not waiting longer, I have always waited a few days anyways due to logistics (he likes news to be in person) Obviously he needs to know and asap. Its just  :# lol I have only known a couple days now so the timeline to spilling the beans is there. The last times seemed to be less nerve wracking though. 
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