FFFC

WorkinWeezel · April 2018

Whatcha got, ladies?!
Image result for on fire

WorkinWeezel · April 2018

My brother and future SIL had their baby early this morning- the day after her due date- and they won't tell us what it is!!! We have to wait until we get to the hospital, probably so they can video our reaction. And she had a 6 lb 6 oz baby... I'm so jealous! My kids are like King Kong and she gets this tiny little thing! Not really flame-worthy, but I'm just anxious to know if I have a new nephew or my very first niece! (I think it's a girl) and I'm jealous that she gets a tiny baby and I'll probably have another gigantour!

knottie9f2468e8835387e9 · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel I'm right there with you at my appointment this week the ob that I saw measured me and then asked if at my latest ultrasound if I was measuring ahead, which I was (a little over a week) and then I mentioned that I was 10 lbs 12 oz and my husband was somewhere in that range as well and she just goes "yeahhhhh I think we're on the same page here, you're gonna have a big baby" she put the fear of God in me lol

babybakie · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel Congrats on your new neice or nephew! And to you and @carsonraynee, good luck with the big babies! Lol. I wonder if I'm in the same boat! At my 24 week scan, baby was weighing in at 1lb 13 oz, when all the apps were saying 24wks is about 1 and a third. Idk if that will make a difference at birth but DH keeps telling me he wants a fat 10 pounder! Ha. Easy for him to say.

My FFFC, I keep telling everyone at work who asks, that I plan on coming back FT after my maternity leave. I will be able to work my usual 10 hours on Saturday because DH can watch the baby on weekends but not the rest of the week. I feel terrible lying but if they decide to replace me completely because I can't come back full time, I'm don't want to lose the NYS FLMA maternity pay. Not sure how to handle it.

zande2016 · April 2018

@babybakie I say lie away. You have to protect yourself and do what's best for you. I'm in the same boat, I *hope* to find a new job and not return to my current job after leave, but there's no way I'm telling anyone that (besides my one trusted coworker/friend). For what it's worth I also live in NY and with their new paid family leave, there is no way I'm leaving my job or changing jobs before the baby because I need that money.

WorkinWeezel · April 2018

GUYS! I *think* she screwed up and wrote "her" meaning... "I pushed *her* out in 22 minutes"!!!!!! I am a super sleuth! Not really because it took me 2.5 hours to notice after initially reading the text, but still!!! I think I have my very first niece! Will update!

@zande2016 I am super jealous that you get paid leave!!! I'm taking about a 20,000 pay cut for just 8 weeks off

It sucks!

@babybakie nothing is set in stone until after baby comes, so not technically a lie!

zande2016 · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel for my son I only got 6 weeks leave (all my employer would allow), and only 2 weeks of it was paid, using my vacation time. The rest was totally unpaid. Since then my state passed a law giving job protection for leave AND pay, which we make a small payroll deduction for and the state pays during leave, It is getting phased in and this is the first year, so this year it's only for 8 weeks, but eventually will be 12. Also this year the pay is only 50% of your average weekly wage UP TO the state max, and I make well over that max, so I will end up getting less than 50% of my salary. But, it's something and I am counting my blessings. It's kind of sad that I am celebrating 8 measly weeks and less than 50% pay, but that's America...once this is fully phased in, I think my state will have on the of the most generous leave policies, so maybe I'll have a third in a few years.

runsomewhere · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel Congratulations on the niece or nephew! How fun that your little July bundle will have a cousin so close in age

@babybakie I wouldn't feel bad, people shouldn't be asking anyways. You qualify for FMLA and you're taking it, none of their business what you might decode on later.

My FFFC: I'm a little jealous of moms having a scheduled c section. Realistically I know that a c section ends up being tougher recovery wise and it's serious surgery but I have moments where it sounds so nice, no waiting for labor, no hours of laboring then pushing...

Also, today I've been thinking about wanting a third baby so much. Like, how fun would it be after this little girl arrives to get pregnant again after like 6 months. I know it's nuts but I can't help it. I think I'm just longing to have this little one in my arms.

TalesOfASocialIntrovert · April 2018

@runsomewhere I have a scheduled c section for medical reasons but I would love nothing more than to be able to let my body naturally progress into labor and produce a child through vaginal birth. I was induced with DD and labored for 36 hours before it ended in a c section. Recovery sucks, to say the least. I still bled vaginally for 6 weeks. Everything is painful and I'm sure I'll have restrictions this time around for lifting DD. My surgery scar is still painful at times, I have the dreaded c section "shelf", and the entire area from hip to hip to 3 inches below my scar is tingly and numb (and I'm told it can stay this way forever). It gets itchy but scratching does nothing to alleviate it. I didn't get to see my daughter born or hold her until 30 minutes after her birth. And my epidural stopped working in the middle of surgery so I literally felt them tearing my muscles apart by hand. I'd much rather take anticipation and pushing vs all the above.

sm05-2 · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel, congratulations on the (probable) niece!

@zande2016, aren't the leave rules in the US crazy? (I'm in the US, too, am lucky and get a bit more leave.) I'm glad you get a bit more than you did for your son.

@babybakie, I'm with everyone else--it's your business anyway, do what you need to do for your family!

My FFFC: I'm not inviting my folks or sister to my baby shower (which a friend is throwing for me). My family stresses me out so much--and during my wedding weekend, my father insulted my house, saying it was much too small, and saying how me and DH made the wrong decision buying our condo, and he never apologized for it--and my family insists on being with me and DH all the time, they have no sense of boundaries. With my restless leg insomnia and general fatigue and nausea that's still going, I don't need that in my life.

I'll be at just about 33 weeks at my shower, and I want it to be as low-stress as possible. Plus my family would need to travel across the country to be at the shower, and we have a history of early births in my family, so I'm trying not to feel too guilty at keeping the shower to local folks (including in-laws who live in the next town over) and friends.

My family will be coming to help after the baby is born, and that's been hard enough to negotiate as it is....

zombiehoohaa · April 2018

@WorkinWeezel congrats on the new niece (or nephew)!!!

FFFC: I'm looking forward to getting my mouth numbed at the dentist today. This way I dont have to talk to people for at least 2 hours afterwards.

noideawhatshesdoing · April 2018

@zombiehoohaa I'm a little jealous that you're getting your mouth numbed. I'm completely over working this week and just don't want to talk to any humans today. Dragging myself through the rest of the afternoon, sending everyone straight to voicemail.

Talking Breaking Bad GIF

knottie9f2468e8835387e9 · April 2018

FFFC I am such a baby when it comes to certain bugs. I went to do the dishes and there was a freaking HOUSE CENTIPEDE in my sink. I trapped it under the mesh drain catch thing and DH came home early from work to deal with it

morethanamama · April 2018

I am so freaking exhausted I'm ready to be done with work already!
FFFC: I think my friend is lying about how much it would cost her to come visit me for the baby shower but I don't have the guts to call her out. I think I mentioned it before that she was complaining of airfare. I couldn't help but checking and I saw lots of flights for $150 less than she mentioned. I just don't need any drama right now so I'm just going to listen to whatever excuse she comes up with when she tells me she isn't coming. I'm a little grumpy today so maybe that's why I am particularly sensitive but I feel like she is turning our friendship into a competition ...at almost 35 years old I really don't have time for that. I refuse to feel bad because I planned this pregnancy and got pregnant shortly after my wedding. It kind of sucks but I'm just not in the right space to address it and tell her that I really feel like she doesn't give a crap because all she wants is to be pregnant herself.

SmashJam · April 2018

@runsomewhere I'll join you on that confession, but mine is because of peace of mind. With vaginal birth I have to wait through labor to kn oe if my baby is ok...a scheduled c-sectuon would allow me to know in a short time period. I know it's just my last birth speaking and I know recovery would be worse potentially but it's on my mind for sure.

wildtot · April 2018

My fffc is I’m not of fan of our dog. I usually call her my husbands dog. She’s still a puppy but DH got her at the wrong time and spends so much money on her to train her (for hunting). Wish he would train her to not go crazy when it’s me against a toddler and dog.

zande2016 · April 2018

@wildtot I liked my dog a lot more before my son was born. I’m a bad dog mom but seriously he just annoys me and inconveniences me 90% of the time now. Then sometimes I feel really guilty for feeling that way and I give him extra hugs and pets. That usually doesn’t last long and I’m back to joking about getting rid of him (we never would, but sometimes I just drives me nuts). Before my son was born I used to cry to my husband about how scared I was that I wouldn’t love the dog anymore, or that I wouldn’t love our son as much as I loved my dog. Pregnancy hormones are weird.

tarheelgirl8 · April 2018

@wildtot I hear you! I would never get rid of our cat (unless he started attacking the kiddos—that’s a deal breaker) because I believe when you make a commitment to pets, you should see it through. But I’ve already told DH that once he dies, I could use a break from pets for a bit. It’s mostly the damage he does to our house and furniture that bugs me. We’ve looked at new furniture for our living room, but I just end up deciding why bother because he’s just going to tear it up again....

ashbub714 · April 2018

@wildtot I’m the opposite. I love my dog too much lol I’m slightly obsessed with him. When ppl ask what I would do if he didn’t get along with the baby (highly unlikely - he’s been around babies/kids since he was born) I joke about sending away the baby. Yes, I know that’s awful but I’m joking....mostly lol

wildtot · April 2018

@tarheelgirl8 yeah my cat is probably around 10 yrs old and although she’s pretty mellow she meows SO much for no reason. And I can’t even use the restroom with her coming in to rub on me. DH talks about getting another when she dies because I’m more a cat person but i need a break too. I’ve had pets since i was in middle school (like two at a time). Maybe once I’m old and kids are out of the house I’ll get another one.

cseley321 · April 2018

@kissableviv pregnancy can be a weird time for some. I am not saying this is the case, but some people have experienced MC(s) or are going through IF and have a hard time dealing with it or being around anything child and/or baby related. When I was going through all of that, I avoided kid birthdays like the plague. None of my friends were having babies at the time, but I definitely couldn't have gone. I would just send a gift and wish them well, but being around small children would seriously send me spiralling into depression. I never told anyone what I was going through, so they probably just assumed I am a jerk, which is fine, I kind of was, but I just knew back then it would be way too much for me to handle.

I have a cousin who I am very close to who is going through the same thing I have, but after being unsuccessful with multiple rounds of IVF, they quit trying. She hasn't spoken to me at all since I announced I am pregnant again, and I am okay with that... she needs space. I was lucky enough that IVF worked twice for me. They have nothing to show for theirs though, just a ton of debt.

Of course this may not be the case with your friend at all, some people are just jerks...but it's something to keep in mind before totally being done with her.

morethanamama · April 2018

@cseley321 thank you for the advice, I know it can be tough. I didn't struggle with infertility or ivf but I also had an early MC last year before we were even thinking about babies or marriage, and lost my dad shortly after, so I was a mess for months! I "hated" everyone who was pregnant and got off social media for a while to avoid that ping of pain at every bump picture.
This is my best friend, she was my maid of honor and she knows what I've been through last year and how much I wanted this baby. As far as I know she has never had a loss, she also recently got married and I know her husband wants to wait to start trying until they have a bit more money but they are definitely in that space too. So I totally get her impatience on the one hand but it just hurts that she doesn't seem to be making an effort when both my husband and I took lots of time off and spent money to travel to her multiple times last year for all her wedding events.

I am far from being done with her but it would be nice to be able to share this pregnancy with my best friend. For now I'm just brushing things off because I don't want any drama. Her behavior on other stuff in general tends to be a bit immature so I just have to be patient, it's just a bummer.

morethanamama · April 2018

@wildtot @tarheelgirl8 @zande2016 DH wants a dog but we made a pact we will wait until kid/kids are older. I don't think I can manage a dog and a baby - I've never had a dog so that would also be a little more difficult for me.

flockofmoosen3 · April 2018

+1 on dog troubles here. She is 14 years old now and when she dies we are done with pets of any kind for a long time. Maaaybe we will get some fish, but that's the extent. The dog is only a taker, never a giver. She literally doesn't play and only cares about sleeping somewhere comfortable, eating everything and anything, and going outside to explore.

cseley321 · April 2018

I keep trying to be done with cats, but my husband wanted to get a Maine Coon kitten for his birthday after my older cat died (and we did... he's a cutey). Don't get me wrong, I love animals, but I am the one taking care of them and with small children in the mix, it's just no fun. I am soooo done with the litter box, but I can't exactly make them start going outside.

wildtot · April 2018

DH today “let’s get more animals” um what?! Glad we are on an HOA and can’t otherwise he would go nuts with some.

zombiehoohaa · April 2018

@ashbub714 I'm the SAME way! Lol Dh does not like that I make jokes like that. However, I can't help but giggle everytime. Dh: "What if baby is this and Pari (our dog) can't handle it". Me: "we'll make sure baby goes to a good home". All joking aside, Our dog has been around babies/kids her entire life as well. It's kind of gross how much she loves our nieces and nephews and vice versa. She protects them and is extremely gentle with them, even when they antagonize her. She will just run upstairs and hide when she's had enough. However, once our dog has passed, Im ready for a break. The heart ache of losing them is too much for me (lost my soulmate dog in Sept of 2016).
I'm not a cat person and dh is. He keeps asking to get a cat. I refuse because I know I'll be the one to take care of it.
@cseley321 even though I'm not a cat person, main coons are stinkin cute! When I worked at a vet, we had a main coon named Whiskey. He was one of the most chill cats ever. Huge!! I'd bring in my rats (yes, pet rats) and he would literally use their cage as a sleeping area on top. He could give 2 f's if the rats were there or not.

zande2016 · April 2018

@zombiehoohaa @cseley321 my brother and sister in law just got a main coon kitten and they are beyond obsessed with him lol. He is really cute, I haven’t actually met him yet, but my son met him last weekend when he went over while I was sick. He loved the kitten and apparently the kitten really liked him too. My sister in law said those cats are known to really like kids.

cseley321 · April 2018

@zombiehoohaa yeah I love them. This is our second one and they are just big, lovable, and lazy. I really wanted a dog for my next pet, but the thought of a puppy and infant at the same time is a really bad idea... furthermore this would be my first dog and since it would be new to me, I would want to be able to focus my attention on the dog instead of a toddler and infant

cseley321 · April 2018

@zande2016 yeah we got him when DD was almost 2 and they are inseparable. Most cats avoid children, but they are like buddies. Here is a pic of them playing when he was still a kitten. This would go on alllll day. He still loves to be around her but he doesn't play with her toys with her anymore like he used to.

gingerbride26 · April 2018

We adore my almost 10 year old shih tzu yorkie mix. He's gotten a bit high strung since my daughter was born (he went into super guard dog mode - not aggressive to anyone in this house, but doesn't like people coming over or walking by the house) but he is currently curled up at my feet and I wouldn't have it any other way. We were worried before DD was born but they adore each other (he's not cowering in this photo, he's staring at the goldfish crackers in the snack cup she was sharing). She says goodbye every morning before daycare and he takes her side during tantrums and lets us know when she's awake from naps and summons us.

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