2nd M/C — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

2nd M/C

theawc42theawc42 member
edited April 2018 in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
this is the first time posting on the loss page. Idk what I’m lookong for exactly. I know there are no answers. Just wanting to vent I guess. I experienced my first M/C almost 6 years ago on my first pregnancy. Went in for the first OB appt at 8 weeks and they found no heartbeat. I had no bleeding or symptoms of the mc so ended up having the D&C. Fast fwd to 4 years later. Second pregnancy and everything was perfect. No problems and had my beautiful 2 year old girl. I guess I thought since I had a healthy pregnancy/ baby I wouldn’t have any more losses.( I know that’s not reasonable, just more of my hopes and happiness that made me think every pregnancy would be good after that)Now, I was pregnant again for a 3rd time and the same thing happened. We went in for our first U/S and again no heartbeat at 9w1d. And I was 9w2d. To believe it happened again, I just don’t get it! How can some people have so many pregnancy’s and no complications?! They take that test in the first month and boom they’re pregnant for 9 months no problem, time and time again. It’s just crazy, not fair, and heartbreaking for those of us who have to deal with this. I have positive hopes for my next pregnancy, hopefully soon. Its just comforting to know I’m not the only one with the questions and thoughts in my mind that never will have answers. 
dpjenniferprojectalice

Re: 2nd M/C

  • I’m so sorry for your loss.  My first pregnancy was healthy but have since lost 3 but I also thought all would be well since the first one was textbook.  I now know differently.  And it’s not fair.  I received a lot of support on this board and on the TTCAL.  When and if you are ready you should jump on that board.  I wish you a speedy and healthy recovery.  
    holly321dpjenniferprojectalice
  • I am sorry for your loss. I too had a loss between two healthy pregnancies, so it never entered my mind the nightmare that would occur after my first ultrasound at 7 weeks.    It is unfair that it is so easy for some, yet others of us have to go through multiple losses.  It takes away the joy of when (hopefully) a new healthy pregnancy occurs.

    Me: 30 DH:32

    DD 3/11  

    MMC 2/12

    DS 1/13

    TTC #3 since 2/17.  Malignant molar missed miscarriage 8/22/17

    dpjenniferprojectalice
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  • Thank you I will check it out!
  • Thank you for your kind words @holly321
    holly321
  • bethica83bethica83 member
    edited April 2018
    I am so sorry. I just had my first pregnancy end in an MC. I hope it never happens again but that's not the way the odds work I guess. Life can be so unfair but we are stronger than we think.

    I hope to support you on the TTCAL board whenever you're ready.
  • I am so sorry. My first pregnancy went without any issues so we too assumed second one would as well. Sadly it did not. I agree how frustrating it is that some people seem to have no issues. But I try to remind myself that I don't know what they may have gone through. They may have struggled to get pregnant and never shared that. They may have suffered 1 or more losses. Reminding myself that I do not know their truth helps keep my anger with my own situation in check.

    And I agree with the others, when your ready, TTCAL is a great group of supportive women.
  • Thank you thank you all for the support. We really do just need to know we’re not alone in this at times even though we are all strong women. I do need to remind myself many more people suffer through this just as much we just don’t see it ever. I think I was so overwhelmed with stress this last pregnancy maybe it contributed to the events. I am extremely more positive and have more of a hopeful outlook for my next pregnancy already! 
  • theawc42  Stress does NOT cause MC and loss, unless it's an overwhelming amount... like being held hostage at gunpoint! It definitely does not cause a loss like yours so early on. Do not blame yourself for your loss. It's great to have a happy outlook, and you do have a child so you know you are capable of having a healthy PG. That's a great plus. MC, especially early on, is more common than most know, and hopefully your next PG will be textbook. 
    theawc42
  • I am sorry you're going through that. It does feel unfair that it seems so easy for so many people. But given how incredibly common MC is, including early ones that were never detected/reported, it helps me too to realize we aren't alone. The estimated numbers are sooo high, and they reflect the percentage of pregnancies, not of people trying to get pregnant! It's incredibly common and means many of us will go on to have healthy pregnancies. 

    I think the storyline of "I took a test and boom, that was it" is so prevalent because it's much harder to talk about early miscarriages. My coworker just told us she's pregnant, and we're cheering for her, but I've wondered if she also had quiet losses along the way. I congratulated her... and have told nobody that I just went through a CP/week 5 MC. So, I try not to let that storyline about easy testing and happy endings trick me into thinking that happens more than it does. It's just one story, and there are many.

    Hope you're finding lots of comfort and have a healthy pregnancy when you're ready to try again. 
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