Second Time Mom (and Beyond!) Check In 4.4

maureenmce · April 2018

Hey STMs how are you doing today?

1. How far along are you?

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?

maureenmce · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
4 weeks and 5 days!

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
I have a daughter who just turned 2 in February.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Um, yes. This was a selfish question because I'd love to hear from anyone else who has similar goals/transitions, or who has been through this before and has tips!

#1 DD needs to be potty trained by end of August for daycare, so we are starting that process at the beginning of next month. I am slightly terrified and have no plan, so uh, I need to get one together! She has interest in sitting on the potty, but more as a novelty. She doesn't know how to actually go on it yet. Any recs on potty training books or plans??? I would LOVE any thoughts.
#2 And, we need to transition her into a toddler bed and change her nighttime routine, but I am even more scared about this because she has gone to bed this way since she was born - I rock her to sleep in a glider and then put her in her crib. She will not go to bed any other way so far, but she's getting so tall she barely fits in the glider while I rock her and I imagine I'm not going to be able to easily lift her into the crib at 8 months or 9 months pregnant, so this has to change...at some point. Probably soon. But I love rocking her to sleep and she loves it so I'm dragging my feet. Ugh. Anyone else gone through a similar transition, or am I the only weirdo that is still rocking their 2 year old to sleep, lol.

AGK2015 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 5 weeks on the dot.

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? I've got one Nugget; she'll be two this month.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? I think the biggest goal will be to get her potty-trained; two in diapers sounds like a LOT. I'm also toying with the idea of weaning; in theory I don't mind continuing to nurse for however long she's interested, but in practice tandem nursing sounds exhausting. And really, I wouldn't mind having a couple months where I get my boobs to myself again before I have to share them with a new baby. The last part of pregnancy was hard on my mental health the last time around, in large part because my body didn't feel like it actually belonged to me and that I didn't have control over it. I worry about continuing to nurse while I'm pregnant amplifying that feeling.

AGK2015 · April 2018

@maureenmce we just made the transition to a toddler bed a little while ago; we had one unsucessful attempt at it before that, but walked it back when it became clear she wasn't ready. She and I still snuggle and nurse before bed, though we're slowly reducing the time for snuggles and getting accustomed to going to bed even if she's not drowsy/asleep. You could probably change the routine first and do the toddler bed later, if that would work better for you.

The one change to routine we DID make before the toddler bed was preventing her from nursing forever. I wait until she seems calm, then count to ten. On ten, we detach and say goodnight to the boob; she knows that's the signal that I'm going to put her into bed. It's made the transitions less painful, and it means I'm not staying upstairs with her for an hour or more at a time.

Right now we're working on getting her to stay in the toddler bed even if she's wide awake to start. I tuck her in with her stuffed animals, then encouraging her to hug her favorite Puppy really tight and telling her we'll be back in five minutes. I go in the minute she starts to make noise, calmly lead her back to her bed (if necessary), tuck her back in the same way, and tell her again I'll be back in five minutes. Repeat ad nauseam until she doesn't get up again. The first couple nights it took multiple tries; it's quickly getting much easier (I think because she expects me to come back, instead of being anxious about the possibility that I won't).

texas_t · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 5w3d

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? One 2.5 year old little boy

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? Praise the Lord, we've gotten through all the biggest transitions!!!

@maureenmce On New Year's Weekend, we decided to hunker down at our house and do "NO PANTS WEEKEND!" We woke up Saturday morning, took off his diaper, and just started giving him cup after cup of watered down juice. We took him to the potty every 15 or 20 minutes. Every time he peed, we'd give him a jelly bean. He only had 2 accidents the entire weekend! He caught on amazing fast. The first couple of weeks, we had to stay on top of him and ask him every little bit if he needed to go potty, but after that, he's been great! We had a little potty in the bathroom and one in the living room, but he wasn't interested in either. He wanted the big potty! So, we got a step stool and he pees like a big boy! We got the little cushioned insert for him to go poop. I didn't read any books or anything, but I just hear a few poeple who were successful with this method, and I whole-heartedly concur! We trasnsitioned him into a toddler bed shortly after. I don't know if you can call it successful, but I'm happy with how things roll. We sit together in the glider and read or watch a video, and then I go lay with him in his bed until he falls asleep. Then, around 2 or 3 in the morning, he comes into our room and crawls in with us and sleeps with us at the foot of the bed like a puppy dog

runrinserepeat · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
No more than 4w2d

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
We have a 6 yo girl and an almost 4 yo boy.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
We’ll probably have to move the kids in together, at least temporarily. Which should be fine because the 3yo has bunk beds and they like sleep overs. I just hope the 6yo isn’t too put out. Long-term, we’ll have a girl room and a boy room, but I think the baby will probably need it’s own space for a while.

Or maybe we’ll just move. That seems like a reasonable alternative to taking away the 6yo’s room, right?

maureenmce · April 2018

@AGK2015 DD isn't nursing anymore, but our bedtimes DO take forever. I am almost always in there an hour because she thinks it's the DD comedy hour and she likes to goof around a lot while I rock her to sleep. I secretly do not mind that much because I work a lot of hours and I love the extra snuggles (and she is pretty funny!) but I bet I will not be singing the same tune when morning sickness hits, so I should work on shortening bedtime asap, even before transitioning to the toddler bed. Then maybe toddler bed in a month or so after potty training, so we just do one transition at a time, but so it's all done before I'm too pregnant to lift her into the crib easily. Gonna be a busy few months!

@texas_t That potty training method sounds great! I love the idea of an intense weekend to get it going and make sure she gets the concept, then just following up after that. I hope our LO catches on as quick as yours!

texas_t · April 2018

@maureenmce I went into it with the mindset that if we were both miserable by midday on the first day, I was going to table it for a couple of months. If they aren't ready, it's more torturous to force it, IMO. Good luck, I'm sure she'll catch on ASAP!

celette482 · April 2018

1. 5 weeks 2 days
2. One boy who will is 17 months
3. Maybe transition to a toddler bed? Before I get too big to get him out of his crib. He hasn’t tried to climb out yet, so I really like having him contained. But my husband thinks it might make bedtime easier if we can do story IN BED and I hear that. I just don’t want a roamer, and he does have his own agenda in life.

texas_t · April 2018

@celette482 We kept ours in a crib until nearly 2.5 for that reason. We transitioned him to a twin in January and BOOM, roamer, lol. At least he typically roams directly to our bedroom, climbs in our bed, and goes to sleep. It definitely could be worse!

runrinserepeat · April 2018

omg, team crib for life. My youngest started climbing out of his crib at 18 months, and I didn't want him to hurt himself. It took him approximately 20 minutes to figure out the knob cover on his door, and maybe a week or two to realize that if he came into our bedroom, we'd put him back in his. After that, he'd just do whatever the hell he wanted - climb on counters, eat ice cream, play with scissors, play in the garage O_O Seriously. If they're staying in their crib, LEAVE THEM.

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 4 weeks

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? 1 boy just shy of 15 mos.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? I mean I’d love to get him out of diapers but I know he’s a little behind the curve on things and will probably be later with potty training too. Also it would be silly to teach him and then have him regress...but we’ll see. For those looking, I’ve heard Oh Crap! Potty Training is a great method. Very similar to the intense weekend described above. As for the toddler bed, I’ve had A on a floor bed since 6 months. It’s moderately successful. He immediately gets out and rocks or rolls around until he falls asleep, and then I put him back in and he stays the rest of the night. Naps he was falling asleep on the floor so I’ve been putting him in his pack and play. Maybe don’t take advice from me after all

maureenmce · April 2018

@runrinserepeat Oh my god, that is like all of my fears. And my daughter is an extreme mischief child who climbs like a monkey. And I have also heard the if they stay in the crib leave them there advice, hmm. Really, my only concern with our current situation is worrying about me physically being able to lift her into the crib each night in late pregnancy. But maybe that's not so bad compared to the alternative? Haha. My friends just finally transitioned their little guy into a toddler bed at 4, so maybe I can wait until 3 or 3.5? Tough call.

@PensiveCrayon Oh Crap! Potty Training! That was the name of the book I've been trying to remember! Thank you! (Can I have pregnancy brain already because I swear I do.)

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@maureenmce if it makes you feel better, he's back to sneaking into bed with me every morning when he first wakes up. I get his life story at 5:00am. It's like he has too many thoughts to stay asleep and needs to come tell me RIGHT NOW. Then he gets goes into the living room, turns the TV on, and gets himself breakfast. On this side of it, it's actually not too bad.

amfasse · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
4 weeks and 5 days

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
I have 2 other kids, 8 y/o boy and 2 y/o girl

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Really hoping to have DD potty trained - she is fighting me every step. @maureenmce I wish I had tips to share but nothing is working for us

just waiting for her to decide she's ready I guess lol.. But she'll be 3 in August so I really wanna be done before then!!

borgie05 · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
3 weeks, 6 days! Just got my positive test today!

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
I have a son who turns 3 this month ❤️

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Still trying to get our son to sleep the entire night in his own bed. He’ll start out there but somehow always manages to hop into bed with us. Other than that all I have planned is to make sure my son feels included and knows how special and loved he is throughout this entire process. Not sure of details yet, but we have time.

AGK2015 · April 2018

@runrinserepeat and that right there is why I haven't taught my daughter to use a doorknob

Activebaby · April 2018

1. How far along are you? I am 4 weeks 5 days today

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? I have 2 boys. Ds1 will be 4 in a month, ds 2 will be 21 months this week

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? Ds2 is still in the crib, but I feel like we still have a long time to transition him to a toddler bed. We did it quickly with DS1 and it is still challenging to get him to sleep in his bed. I'm afraid once DS2 has "freedom" it will be a bedtime disaster. I'd love to get ds2 out of diapers, but I won't start trying until 2/when he is in the 2 year old classroom. They don't really provide the opportunity in the toddler room, so I want to do it when he is reinforced at school too. DS1 did it pretty much on his own. As soon as his brother was born he said he wasn't a baby and didn't need diapers (we still use them overnight). It was very easy for us, and I pray it is easy with DS 2 too....I have a feeling he will give us more attitude. I also don't know what we will do with rooms. We have the space, but I may put the boys together because they like being together. I'm still not sure.

kizziechaplin93 · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
4 weeks and 5 days!

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
I have my son and step daughter. My son will be 7 in May and my step daughter just turned 1 in January.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
I just want to work with my son on him knowing he will not be forgotten (it was just him and I for the longest time), and to include him in everything involving his little sib. And to work on getting my step daughter to not want to sleep in bed with daddy and myself on the nights we have her and get her used to sleeping in her own bed. I would like any tips on the latter if anyone has any to share with me!

gracie4400 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 5w2d

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? I have a daughter, she is 13 months

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? My concern, like most of yours, is sleeping arrangements. I moved DD into her crib in her room when she was about 7.5 months old, so if I do that the same thing with baby #2, DD won't even be 2 1/2 yet. I don't want to kick her out of her crib before she's ready, but I also hate to buy another crib that will only be used for a few months. I also don't want to wait too long to move baby either. My other issue with sleeping arrangements is rooming. We have a three bedroom house but we use 1 as a family room/office and I'd really hate to give that up, so do I have both kids share a room or suck it up and give up a room. Might be time a move

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

@gracie4400 Yes, I forgot about the room-sharing conundrum! That’s one of my biggest question marks too. Our 3rd bedroom is the guest bedroom and where I sleep most nights. I’ll have the baby in there with me for a while but I know I’ll have to move him/her out for both our sanity at some point. Do I turn the master closet into a tiny no-frills nursery? Or do I put babe in with the toddler and deal with possible wakeups?

maureenmce · April 2018

@PensiveCrayon and @gracie4400 We have a similar conundrum because we live in a two bedroom apartment and have no plans to move for at least a couple of years. I'm thinking baby in our room for the first 6 months (or until he/she starts sleeping through the night, which DD did around 6 months) and then try the baby/toddler room share thing? Otherwise, he/she's sleeping in the living room because we don't have a big enough closet to make a mini nursery! (I am thinking about getting one of those wheeled mini cribs for this reason - I could roll the crib out to the living room, or even into DD's room in the night? Hypothetically?) I have no idea.

asun123 · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
5 WEEKS 1 DAY

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
2 other kids;
Bobby(boy) - 5 years old
Kade(boy) - 2 years old

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Not so much goals planned with my other kids but I do want to keep working towards minimalism so that my motherhood is spent more with my kids and less with cleaning and organizing.

mckcak23 · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 4+5

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? I have a 22 month old son!

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?

My husband and I talked about our goals the other day and my "goals" are toddler bed/room for his birthday in June then go hard with potty training in like Aug/Sept. He loves going on the potty but was delayed verbally so I have been waiting for him to kind catch up to be able to communicate when he needs to go. We will have to put a gate up.for his toddler room because he hate sleep. He goes to sleep really well but then gets up at like 2 am ready to go for the day.

flamingomomma · April 2018

1. How far along are you? 4w4d

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? 2 boys. 4 & 2.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Survive. LOL. I’m hoping DS2 will be potty trained. I’m scared of being outnumbered.

am+mommy · April 2018

1. How far along are you? Just found out- 4 weeks exactly.

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they? 3 girls, 12, just turned 3 and just shy of 5 months.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these? Honestly, I have no idea how to transition smoothly. DD1 will be a huge help, DD2 will be so excited but DD3 will be 1y and a few weeks and it will be a real challenge getting her adjusted.

breadit124 · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
4w2d

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
One son, 20mo

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
We successfully potty trained right before I got pregnant, which now feels very fortuitous! That would probably have been the big thing. Like others, I'm weighing whether to switch him to a toddler bed before the new baby arrives. I'm quite short and hoisting him into the crib is tough for me now, let alone with a pregnant belly. But then again, he's happy in his crib and has never tried to climb out (he sleeps in a sleepsack which I think has bought us some extra time). I'm somewhat disinclined to mess with a good thing :-)

coco2787 · April 2018

1. How far along are you?
5 weeks

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?
1 son, he'll be 5 in July

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?
Nothing specific, since he's older we're past the potty training and big kid bed milestones. He'll be starting kindergarten in the fall so I'm a little worried about that transition combined with a new sibling. Also just worried about the age gap in general and how he'll adjust to having to share mom and dad after so many years.

breadit124 · April 2018

@coco2787 for what it’s worth, my sister, brother, and I are each six years apart (I’m the youngest) and they’re my best friends. I’m in the opposite situation, I think of that kind of age gap as normal and wonder how it will be having kids just 2.5 years apart! I suspect there’s no perfect gap and they all have advantages.

runrinserepeat · April 2018

@coco2787 FWIW I've heard that before 18 months and after 5 years are ideal. 18 months because at that point they're still too young to realize they have to share / things have changes. After 5 because once kindergarten starts, they have more of a life outside of Mom and Dad, so sharing isn't as big a deal.

lavenderlisa · April 2018

1. How far along are you?

I'm 5 weeks 3 days. Due date is dec. 18th

2. How many other kids do you have and how old are they?

I have one son, who is 2 years 5 months old.

3. Do you have any goals or transitions planned with your other kids before this LO is born? Any concerns questions about these?

We are currently in the process of moving. Which is a little complicated. Since my husband is a police officer we are deciding if we should stay in atlanta or jump at a potential job in albuquerque nm. Which just became much more complicated since we've finally become pregnant after 10 months of trying.
I'm still in the process of potty training my ds, which I'm sure will be the death of us both. But he will be 3 when the baby comes so fingers crossed we get fully potty trained.

PensiveCrayon · April 2018

@lavenderlisa Have you ever been to Albuquerque? We lived there for several months and I loved it so much. I would go back in a heartbeat. It's a weird place, but so great at the same time.

lavenderlisa · April 2018

@PensiveCrayon no i personally have never been but my husband has on several occasions. But its completely different than anywhere ive ever lived and it seems to be a beautiful city. I'm excited to see where life takes us. Moving cross country would be such an adventure!!

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