STM+ thread w/o 4/9

nlc8424 · April 2018

Feel free to check in if anything is new with the following questions, otherwise, just wanted to post a new chat thread!

How far along are you? How big is baby?

How are you feeling?

Any rants or raves? Questions?

nlc8424 · April 2018

Ok, so my mama heart is a bit heavy right now. DS is about to be 22 months and going through some major separation anxiety and it's weighing on me. I know is just a phase, and it's normal, but right now all I can think is, "I'm never going to get to spend time alone with him once new baby is here and he's going to cry constantly and I'll feel guilty for doing this to him". It's so bad, I go to the bathroom and he cries and bangs on the door crying mama; I'm in the kitchen cooking dinner and he stands watching me and asking to be picked up constantly. If I'm sitting, he's on my lap, he doesn't want to walk anywhere by himself. Ugh, this is hard! Again, I know it'll pass, but I just kind of wish dad was his favorite right now and not me.

spottedginger · April 2018

@nlc8424 I think they can tel on some subliminal level that changes are happening. DS is 2 (umm... 28 months) right now and very clingy with me, but I guess that isn’t new for us. He wants to be carried and picked up, too. I’m having back and ligament pain badly this week and don’t feel physically capable of doing it as much as I would otherwise. That is my heavy heart issue. Like..: what mom can’t carry her baby? Why am I doing thing to him? I realize it is short term and the long term love of a sibling will far outweigh it. I just think second guessing ourselves and worrying is part of the program.
I’m 16+6, dill pickle
Feeling sore and overwhelmed with the imminent move. Worried how DS will adjust to the new house and new bed and longer drive from daycare. Also very nostalgic. I truly love our house and will miss it and all the memories.

Has anyone been through a move with a tot? Other than talking about it for several weeks beforehand, is there anything else we should be moving to ease the transition?

Lo9876 · April 2018

18 weeks here. Baby is as big as an artichoke today!

We moved from a small apartment to a house when DS was 23 months. I cried like a baby when we left the apartment for the last time. Change is hard, even for the mamas! I'd say try to stick to whatever routines you possibly can to help LO get adjusted. When we were in the apartment, a lot of DS's playtime was in his bedroom. When we moved to the house, we played in the family room on the first floor and he basically just slept in his room. We didn't realize at first but he was having a hard time getting used to having 2 floors (didn't want to go to the 2nd floor, when we were in his room he asked to go "home" (aka downstairs), etc.). We moved playtime upstairs for a while to make him feel more at home in his new room and it seriously helped.

Also, unpack a couple of boxes right away. You can't underestimate the power of having empty cardboard boxes around - it is a great distraction and a 2 year old's dream!

nackie · April 2018

@nlc8424 mine went through a super clingy phase right around the same time. He’s 27 months now and only wants Daddy. Now I’m sad that he doesn’t want to spend any time with me.

nlc8424 · April 2018

Ah, I know I'll feel differently when this happens @nackie! Again, I know it'll be a phase, but it's so hard right now to hear almost constant crying when he's not with me. Thanks for the input. Thank you also to @spottedginger.

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

My son is 22 months and really wants to be held and carried around. I'm trying to explain that mommy isn't strong enough to keep holding my big boy all the time. But then make a point to sit down with him on my lap as soon as I can after that.

He also may have just weaned himself in the last day, somewhat unexpectedly. That's sad too.

On the upside, for the first time my little guy is trying to make words happen and "nuh-na-nuh" for banana is adorable. He's also been super into sprinting across the room/house and giving me a flying leap hug.

When we moved, we made sure to let him have a fun day out with my cousin while we moved and unpacked some toys for him in his room, as well as gave him a 4 pack of super nasty icky toilet paper and a few boxes to play with. Totally worth the loss of toilet paper that I didn't want to use anyway.

Eta: spelling/auto correct

BostonBaby1 · April 2018

(((Hugs))) Mom guilt is real. When I was getting my lines placed for my RCS with DD, I started hysterically crying. The whole staff in the OR was reassuring me that everything was going to be OK. And I had to explain that I was crying because I felt guilty. DS had just turned 14 months and had no clue what was about to happen. I feel similar guilt because hopefully this will be a healthy baby and DD will only be 12 months. Not nearly long enough to be the baby. But, if I have realized one thing, is that both are babies. And they love each other. It’s a process, but your heart grows and you find that you love your second just as much as you love your first.

stothi · April 2018

Car seat question- we did you or when are you planning to, turn your carseat from rear facing to forward facing?
My son is 2.5 and can legally ride forward facing based on age, but I still have him rear facing because I was under the impression it's the safest to keep them rear facing as long as possible. I'm starting to get some pressure from folk to turn him- not based on safety research, but based on how much easier it would be for me to get him in and out if he was forward facing. I personally don't think it's *that* hard to get him in and out. I do struggle a little cause I have some issues, but at this time my struggles aren't enough to make me want to turn him. Obviously I need to redo my research but I swear I read that it's the safest for toddlers to stay rear facing until they max out the height/weight limits for rear facing according to the car seat that you have. My son still has height/weight room in his car seat to continue rear facing for the time being so that was my plan.

So, yeah, what did/will you all do?

BostonBaby1 · April 2018

@stothi Your research is correct as far as I know. Rear is safest until you max out height and weight. IMHO, don’t turn your son because others are pressuring you. If he’s good rear facing and you can get him in and out, why change it? I will rear face as long as possible.

knitknitread · April 2018

@stothi Your research is correct as far as what I remember. We didn't change to forward facing until DD maxed out the height/weight for rear facing in her seat. She was 3.5? We will be doing the same with DS.

nackie · April 2018

@stothi we’ll be doing it in the next week or two. DS turned 2 in Jan and is very small for his age, so I’d like to keep him rear facing longer, but my husband’s car has a very small backseat and there isn’t room for a rear facing car seat behind him. We’re going to have to start testing infant car seats and see what fits best back there, so DS is getting switched. I’m debating leaving him rear facing in my car, but I think once we switch him in one place he’s going to insist on it in both.
When he was in his infant seat, the passenger seat had to be pushed all the way forward for it to fit and I spent 9 months with bruised knees from having them pressed against the dashboard whenever I was in his car. Hopefully this time we find something that gives me a couple more inches.
Anyone happen to know what the shortest infant car seat is? All my researching is turning up the narrowest ones that are good for 3 across but which isn’t what I’m looking for

jhjocelyn · April 2018

@stothi. You are correct! Rear-facing for as long as possible is best. I had friends tease me and tell me dd would be car-sick when we finally turned her around but she was fine. We switched her sometime well after 2, when we got a new vehicle and it fit better forward-facing.

DanyTargaryen · April 2018

@stothi - +whatever to agreeing that your research is correct that RF as long as possible is safest. Don't let anyone pressure you to turn him earlier than you want. I plan to keep DS RF as long as he is below his car seat's maximums for RF.

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

@stothi Yes, on plan is to keep my son rear facing as long as we can because it's about your neck and back maturing which happens later. Granted, we're going to have to find a way to get me a new car because my husband's has no back seat at all, and just to have one rear facing, we lost all front passenger leg room. I won't even be able to drive with another rear facing seat back there and I'm 5'3"!

@nackie I wish I had a good answer for you- I have been worrying about car seats for two years because of space front to back. I have read that the Maxi Cosi seats work best in small cars-some of that is for width, but but is front and back space too. May I ask what kind of car your husband has? I'm curious because my car is the same way-we have a Chevy Cruze and with just an infant seat the passenger up front has to have their seat 1 click (maybe 2) from all the way forward. It's all the way up for his convertible seat now. He won't be 2 until June, and I don't want to turn him at barely 2.

stothi · April 2018

Thanks all! After posting I spent a few minutes on the Google machine and found lots of articles/research supporting rear facing as long as possible.
Don't worry- I'm pretty much pressure proof in matters regarding my child. I'm just so exhausted that for a bit there I got worried that maybe I'd missed something or was remembering something wrong.

nackie · April 2018

@pourmeamocktail we’ve got a Mazda CX3. It’s an SUV, so it never even occurred to us that a car seat wouldn’t fit until we tried to install one a month before DS was due and realized it was going to be an issue. And we used the Chico key fit with him which is supposed to be one of the smaller ones.
Theres no money in the budget to replace a 3 year old car, so we just have to suck it up and have DS front facing when this baby comes.

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

nackie said:

@pourmeamocktail we’ve got a Mazda CX3. It’s an SUV, so it never even occurred to us that a car seat wouldn’t fit until we tried to install one a month before DS was due and realized it was going to be an issue. And we used the Chico key fit with him which is supposed to be one of the smaller ones.
Theres no money in the budget to replace a 3 year old car, so we just have to suck it up and have DS front facing when this baby comes.

Not judging, you have to do what you have to do. Ours is only 4 years old too. And we've only had it for two, still paying my in-laws for it, but it's our biggest car too, so we really need to have one that we can fit the four of us. Even if we turned around our barely 2 year old, my husband still couldn't sit in the passenger seat-so for road trips he has to drive the whole way-even though I'm the better long distance driver-I can't sleep in the car and he must...so it just isn't working for us. Hoping to take our tax return, his current car, some savings and maybe sell an older mint condition Beanie Baby to pay off current car and get a new one-so we can stick with only one payment. Good luck! I was shocked that a mid size sedan couldn't fit even an infant seat comfortably. My BIL has a Mini Countryman, and his rear seats can slide forward and back (losing a hint of trunk space) to accommodate rear facing seats. Why is a Mini so much better equipped than my Chevy Cruze or your SUV? Idk, but it's freaking irritating and dumb!

jumpy57 · April 2018

For those with toddlers, check how much your car seat is tilted. An older toddler can sit up straighter Wich might give you a couple inches of leg room. It might not work for everyone but for those reading that are on the fence it might help.

I have a new car seat arriving today that I'm hoping will work in my Crosstrek rear facing. A blog lady said it worked in the middle seat of her Impreza wich is essentially the same thing... Fingers crossed!!!!!

nackie · April 2018

It’s still crazy to me that there are cars marketed to families that can’t fit a car seat comfortably.
DS will be almost 2.5 by the time we flip him, so I’ll have to be ok with it.

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

@EErin86 I am so sad that my seat is only approved to rear face and the lowest of the three incline settings! I asked the mfg and everything. Fingers crossed for your seat.

We have considered trying to put the infant seat in the middle, but I worry about my crazy toddler hitting or throwing stuff at baby, plus with it being a sedan, I'm not sure I can get a tiny one in and out of middle, especially the first month. And even that only gets us a tiny bit more clearance for driver's seat-my husband would have to sit in backseat behind me next to the two car seats if we traveled as a family. Wtf cars!

jumpy57 · April 2018

Car seat update!!!!!
Ok, we have a Subaru Crosstrek and I just got a Graco slim fit car seat (purple one currently on sale through Amazon). DH was driving last so I didn't adjust the front seat (were are both about 6' tall). I was able to install the car seat behind the driver!!!!! I'm super impressed. Our other convertible seat is a Britax click tight and that was impossible to fit in the Subaru (works fine in Buick enclave). I can even fold down the "60" side of the rear seat with the car seat installed!

Other notes:
I couldn't get a tight installation in the middle seat with the seat belt (car manual says no latch on middle) but maybe DH could. If it was in the middle an adult could fit in either rear seat. While messing around I couldn't get the convertible seat in the middle and our Britax infant seat behind the driver, it might work if the convertible was facing forward.

jhjocelyn · April 2018

@EErin86
Hooray for a good fit!

I’m still praying we find some ridiculous deal to swap our truck for a full 4 door instead of the half doors we have... when dd was born I drove a ford explorer so size was no issue and we got the beastly britax chaperone. Then moved to the monsterous Graco smart seat for the duration.

We can only fit both seats in the f 150 if the infant goes in the middle and dd switches from 5 pt to high back booster. Technically she is old enough and big enough, but it’s def not my ideal. In reality though we leave the house less than once a week and travel less than an hour at a time. If it were a daily driver situation I think I’d be more inclined to call it a hard no... for now I’m basically waiting for a different option to drop in my lap.

arcticseal-2 · April 2018

From my experience, aka, my 2c worth:

I'm pretty sure all of my kids, when they were the youngest, got really clingy when I got pregnant and the age gap differs. I think they just know!! So, my youngest at 17 (or 18? she's the 3rd, what can I say!) months old is pretty clingy right now. Just give them the hugs they need the best you can.

Also, if you go to buy a vehicle, it sounds annoying, but it's well worth it. Take your kids with you and install the car seats and probably the baby seat for the test drive. We looked at a vehicle before my second and didn't buy it partly because the rear anchors were the most annoying things to access.

For Canadian Mom's (as I think all the US ones are closed), but Toys'r'us, with an employee, let us take a car seat out to our vehicle and test fit it before we purchased it! When trying to fit 3 seats across in our crew cab truck, this became important, and it was nice to know we were buying a seat that fit and was, we felt, the best for us.

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

@EErin86 YAY! I'm going to try it, and if it doesn't fit behind our driver's seat, at least I got a great deal on a good seat (love the reviews) and I tried everything to fit a seat in our stupid car. Will update everyone when it arrives for us too.

DanyTargaryen · April 2018

Probably not the best approach because it's a waste of resources, but when we were deciding between convertible car seats I bought 2 Chicco NextFits and 2 Britax Boulevard CTs from Amazon on Prime Day. They shipped free, I tested each brand in our cars for fit, and shipped back the 2 I didn't keep for free as well because Prime.

jumpy57 · April 2018

@DanyTargaryen yessss I love Amazon prime. I felt ok buying a seat because it would be so easy to return. I thought about getting two types, but my gamble on one worked out this time.

@pourmeamocktail I hope it works for you!!!!!

nackie · April 2018

I’ve heard buy buy baby will let you take a car seat out to your car and test it out like babies r us did. We’re going to give that a try this time around (and then try to snag a deal on prime day)

yosemite2018 · April 2018

I snagged our Britax Boulevard CT on prime day too. Definitely test out car seats ahead of time as they always have deals then. Also a lot of car seat techs can tell you which seats work best for your car. I am in a mommies group on Facebook with several thousand members and car seat techs are offering free advice all the time. Doesn’t hurt to reach out!

nlc8424 · April 2018

Thank you to all for the sympathy and input about the clinginess. It's been a while since DS has been this clingy and right now he's not sleeping well so I'm just kind of easily irritated and want to be left the F alone and not hear crying. I keep reminding myself that this will pass, but I need to get his sleep situation figured out because if I don't get more solid sleep soon I'm going to run away to my parents to sleep.

nlc8424 · April 2018

Ugh, me again. So we were warned that the stomach bug was going around daycare yesterday. I had everything possible crossed that it wouldn't hit us. Turns out I'm just a crappy mom since DS threw up at some point last night and I ignored it until I got him in the morning. I did hear him cry once but figured that if he really needed us he would cry for longer than 30 seconds so I never checked the monitor. He was happy as a clam when he did get up though, got a bath and my H decided to stay home with him. Now here's to hoping that both H and I can ward off the germs and maybe possibly DS won't puke anymore or have any diarrhea.

nackie · April 2018

@nlc8424 we’ve missed a night time vomit before as well. If his lovey falls out of bed that apparently justifies 10 minutes of wailing, but throwing up all over yourself only merits a whimper and a roll over for my kid.
Hope your son is feeling better!

pourmeanothermocktail · April 2018

@nlc8424, good luck. I would have missed it too-without 10 min of real crying I don't go in and we don't have video on monitor.

nlc8424 · April 2018

@nackie yeah I've heard that it's not that uncommon for them to not really care too much. Thank you and @pourmeamocktail for the well wishes. H is thoroughly enjoying movie and cuddle time with DS since he normally doesn't get the cuddles whenever I'm around.

jhjocelyn · April 2018

@nlc8424 maybe a day w daddy till help reset the clinginess too! ...unless I have my screennames confused... it’d been that kind of a morning...

Dd has her big annual cf appt next week, we see each member of her care team rather than just the doc and whomever is needed at the quarterly appts. It’s like 8 ppl, one at a time, and takes at least 2 hrs. DD handles it fairly well, she only panics if she thinks she has to lay down(pinned for blood-work, various icky things, too many times). And she usually pukes when they do the throat culture, last time though she managed to keep it down.

I do as much prep w her as I can, the result tome before last time was her screaming “I’m trying not to cry! I’m trying!” As her whole little body went stiff in panic. Her head knew what to do, she just couldn’t control her body.

This afternoon we are taking her for her chest/abdomen xrays and bloodwork so they will be done before the appt next week. She’s so far acting calmer and braver than previous years... DH promised her shopkins if she doesn’t scream or cry hard, and a happy meal after is a given.

Poor kid gets a bad rap, she is as compliant as she can physically be during these procedures, just at full volume protesting it. It’s hard for techs to see she isn’t fighting them, when all they can hear is her yelling. Last year one got super firm telling her not to kick, she wasn’t kicking them, she was squirming and trying to shift her position on dh’s lap.

I’m proud of her regardless, she handles this crap so much better than most, and is immediately fine once it is over.

Today I’m moody cause I have to go into this calm and cool and “this is just what we do, yes it hurts, and we don’t want to, but we get it done like a champ” and dh gets to be all nervous and anxious to have it over cause he’s at work and not feeding her energy...

nackie · April 2018

@jhjocelyn good luck today. She sounds like a champ, those kinds of tests have to be hell on kids.

Wishilivedinflorida · April 2018

@jhjocelyn My heart just breaks that she has to go through all that. I hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

ready44 · April 2018

@jhjocelyn, I hope that her appointment goes as smoothly as possible. She sounds like a very brave little girl.

@nlc8424, hope that it was just a fluke kind of thing and that there's no more puke or diarrhea in your son & families future. My middle caught a stomach bug this past Monday and we're still dealing with it over here. The only one who hasn't been affected (knocks furiously on wood) is my oldest.

@EErin86, we love our Slimfit. Even though our minivan has a decent amount of room, I really wish that I had two of them (we currently have a Turbobooster for our 5 year old, the Slimfit of our youngest, and an Evenflo Symphony).

How far along are you? How big is baby?
18 weeks. As big as a bell pepper.

How are you feeling?
Decent. A little bit of nausea, but not sure that it's pregnancy related (see below).

Any rants or raves? Questions?
My middle caught some kind of virus/bug this week, and I'm pretty sure he gave it to me. Puking, diarrhea, such fun. Also, got to take a stool sample from him for the second time in his life - scraping poop into multiple little test tubes is so very delightful.

jhjocelyn · April 2018

Thanks for the support ladies! sorry for extra long whine of a post earlier. This one will prolly be long too.

Dd puked all over herself 5 min from our destination. Thankfully I had a change of clothes and some clean up supplies w us. She told me she had to pee, so I asked her to wait, then the gag started. Poor kid. Usually she can tell me when it’s puke coming. I think it aas the extra water I had her drink on the way there that did her in.

The xray and blood draw went amazing. Dd whimpered and cried some but didn’t fight, pull back or flinch, they took almost 20 ml. I warned them she’s loud but will cooperate. And that’s exactly what happened. I didn’t even have to hold down her arm, just kept my hand on it to keep it still.

Edited to add: We were the only ones there today, and the staff took theor time, chatted w dd and let her push buttons etc, they even drew a kitten face on her gauze tape. Great stagf like that make all the difference for us families that deal w having to do this stuff a lot.

Also, these places have gloves, bags, and the super wipes, so we were able to get the car seat cleaned up fairly well and continue the plans for the day-shopkins and a happy meal.

Phew! Now on to prepping her for next weeks loonngg appt.

jumpy57 · April 2018

@jhjocelyn sounds like she did great! I hope she continues to do well

@nlc8424 @ready44 eek! I hope you two stay healthy!!! Whenever I hear someone cough in the office I take an emergen-c gummy. Poor DH is totally the one catching the daycare illnesses in our house

mrsman2018 · April 2018

stothi I would really like to leave DD rear facing till she maxes out the requirements. But when baby #2 comes in Sept, we will need to move her to FF (she will just be 2). Our car cannot accommodate two RF seats.

STM+ thread w/o 4/9

Re: STM+ thread w/o 4/9

Choose Another Board

Search Boards