My UO is I don’t feel bad for disregarding the advice of people who aren’t parents (or expecting & going through the same things). Its kinda like the whole can single ppl give married ppl relationship advice debate. So far in this pregnancy nonparent advice had been wrong EVERY SINGLE TIME. That’s Not to say the advice of other moms & parents is always right, but the nonparent advice has been consistently wrong from my perspective. So I’m officially on team until you’re pregnant or a parent you don’t understand and (while I won’t say it out loud) I won’t be taking your advice.
@ffw0617 agreed, although I do find their advice entertains at times. As a STM I know only to give advice when it's solicited and that even though I have a kid I still have no idea what I'm doing 90% of the time because that's parenting, and what worked with DD might not work with your child or even with DS
My brother in law is the worst at giving parenting advice. He is non married and childless and essentially expects children to behave like little adults. I just don't say anything any time he makes a comment.
@ffw0617 UO: I don't take the advice of most parents either. Not that I don't think they are good parents or I think I can "do it better" I just think every kid is so different! At this point I can only prepare for a few possibilities of what this kid will or wont do. Other than that I will just be flying by the seat of my pants but like @momac1919 said, that's just parenting. You just figure it out.
*TW LC*
Me & MH: 32 DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU) TTC #2: 12/2019 Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
@krashke I kind of feel like that too. I mom best just going by my own instincts. Each one really is a brand new human so I honestly avoid stuff that would put thoughts in my head about what we should be doing. The only time I go for advice is when I don’t really know what to do and have tried everything I can think of. Typically I like to research all the things because I love learning, but I’m the complete opposite with parenting. I’m honestly 1000x more chill about it than I thought I would be. DH and I both assumed he’d be the more laid back parent, but turns out it’s me.
Can I build on this and say I don't take advice from anyone about anything unless I feel like I trust their experience, research methodology, knowledge about alternatives to their chosen route, etc.? Like, this shouldn't be limited to parenting.
But I still think it's interesting to hear what other people have to say. The only time I get annoyed about anyone giving advice is if they either A) willfully misunderstood the issue I'm having (ie, didn't pay attention), or cannot answer questions about why their advice is best, what evidence exists, etc.
While on the topic of non parents giving advice, shortly after the birth of DD I was at a friends dinner party. At dinner my friends wife, who I am not friends with but have always been friendly towards, said outloud to everyone during a conversation that she judges women who have epidurals because they're big wimps and she doesn't feel like they really gave birth...I was the only one at said dinner party with a child and they all knew I had an epidural. It took everything in me not to lose my isht on her, especially bc at the time she had no children
@doxiemoxie212 oh I fully agree. 2 years later I can just chalk it up to she's was an idiot with a very skewed view of pregnancy and birth, but 4 weeks PP when you're sleep deprived, your hormones are raging and your body feels like it's not yours, logical thinking doesn't exist. Karma came back to bite her though because she just recently had twins via a scheduled c-section so by her own definition she hasn't really given birth either since she's never endured labor
While on the topic of non parents giving advice, shortly after the birth of DD I was at a friends dinner party. At dinner my friends wife, who I am not friends with but have always been friendly towards, said outloud to everyone during a conversation that she judges women who have epidurals because they're big wimps and she doesn't feel like they really gave birth...I was the only one at said dinner party with a child and they all knew I had an epidural. It took everything in me not to lose my isht on her, especially bc at the time she had no children
I would have tried to find a way or record that statement somehow. If you still know her when she has kids - play it back at her baby shower.
Editing because I now see if I had kept reading that she ended up with a c-section later anyway. I wonder if she had an epidural with that...
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
@momac1919 I am obnoxiously delighted that that woman ended up with a c-section. I would never actively wish harm on anyone or anything, but I do not hate it when karma gives certain people a taste of their own medicine.
Me: 34 Husband: 35 Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17 BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
Re: UO Thursday 4/5
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
DS: 6/1/18 (Pre-E; IUGR; seizures; NICU)
TTC #2: 12/2019
Sept 2020: HSG possible blocked right tube
Nov 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFN
Dec 2020: Letrozole + TI - BFP!!! EDD 9/18
But I still think it's interesting to hear what other people have to say. The only time I get annoyed about anyone giving advice is if they either A) willfully misunderstood the issue I'm having (ie, didn't pay attention), or
If so, I'm guilty of that
That kind of shit does not piss me off so much as make me laugh because it's so absurd.
Editing because I now see if I had kept reading that she ended up with a c-section later anyway. I wonder if she had an epidural with that...
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
TTC: 08/2017 EDD: 6/11/2018 FTM
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18