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Birth Stories/Postpartum - The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything we wish we knew STMs to FTMs

therealfrizzletherealfrizzle member
in November 2018 Moms

I know this type of thread was super helpful when I was a FTM and I want to pay it forward to all FTMs coming here.

Calling all STMs! Tell us your birth story and postpartum experience - all the details, whether magical or horrifying, what you are glad you did, what you wish you had done differently. Everything you wish you knew going into or discovered afterwards.

All birth stories are different, but seeing what others have gone through is a great way to prep yourself for almost any possibility.

Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15

1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!

2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!

3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21

Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.

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Re: Birth Stories/Postpartum - The good, the bad, the ugly, and everything we wish we knew STMs to FTMs

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  • brookepdavisbrookepdavis member
    My birth story is pretty low key and not dramatic, but good reference for anyone who ends up with a scheduled c-section. 

    Around 30ish weeks I found out that DD was breech. I have a bicornuate uterus and my doctor said that in my case, there was very little chance she would flip on her own or that a version would work. My birth plan was always to have as natural a birth as possible, so a c-section was really not an option I wanted to consider. Also, my sister had two emergency c-sections that were really bad so I was terrified of a c-section. The advantage to knowing so early that DD was breech was that I had time to process a c-section. My doctor did a fantastic job of prepping me. At 36 weeks she spent 20 minutes walking me through exactly what was going to happen the day of, where DH would be at each moment, what my options were for skin-to-skin, and answered every single question. 

    The night before my c-section DH and I went out to dinner, I took I nice long shower and tried to get some sleep. That morning everything went exactly how my doctor had described. The waiting and monitoring for 2 hours was the worst part. Once I was at the hospital I just wanted to get it done. I was feeling pretty anxious when I had to leave DH (he had to stay outside the operating room while I got my spinal and they got me draped), but when my doctor walked in it was like a breath of fresh air. She held my hands while they did the spinal and talked to me to keep me distracted until DH was able to come in. Then I laid there for 15 minutes until DD came out. She came out pooping, peeing and screaming. DH went with her to get weighed, measured and wrapped up while I let the 2 medical residents feel around inside my uterus so they could feel what a bicornuate uterus felt like. Then they brought her over to me so I could see her squishy little face. Since I was tilted kind of upside down, I didn't do skin-to-skin right away like I wanted. I wouldn't have been able to hold her safely. 

    As soon as they moved me to the gurney, they unwrapped DD and put her on my chest under a blanket. They wheeled us over to recovery and I just soaked in every moment. Within 10 minutes of being in recovery, DD lifted her head to try to find my boob and started nursing (bad positioning, not sure if she ever got anything, but she was comforted). We stayed in recovery for just under 2 hours. The woman right next to me was snoring SO loud that they moved me upstairs earlier than normal. There was no resting while she was snoring.

    One we were on the postpartum floor, everything was kind of a blur for a few hours. There were so many people coming in and out of our of our room getting us settled. I was able to see the lactation consultant the same day, which was amazing. I would highly recommend seeing an LC as soon as possible if you're planning on breastfeeding. The first 36 hours were just a lot of people coming and going checking on both of us, bringing us things, and not letting us sleep.

    The second night we were there my friends came to visit (never going to let that happen again). My friend kept trying to calm DD down and I was having a panic moment that I just needed her to give my crying baby back. I was so exhausted and had a bit of a breakdown when they left. That night the nurse told me to give DD a pacifier (which I didn't want to do) and said it would be fine for one night. It totally was. Then she put a do not disturb sign on our door and we all slept for 5 hours. It was amazing. 

    The rest of recovery was a standard c-section recovery. A few points of advice... Put a pillow over your stomach for riding in a car and your first poop. Buy the big pads. You'll need them. You won't be able to use your ab muscles for a few weeks, so be sure to use your arms to support you getting in and out of bed, in and out of chairs, on and off the couch, etc. I never realized how much I used my ab muscles daily until I couldn't. 
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  • pink_polkadotspink_polkadots member
    edited March 2018
    @wamam027 my midwife scared me too during the end of my pregnancy saying DD was gonna be like 9-10 pounds!! She was 7 lb   :|
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  • kecoff01kecoff01 member
    edited March 2018
    My first daughter was born on March 2, 2015.  I was induced at 38w6d for preeclampsia.  The day she was born, I had a check up with my OB - it was a Monday.  During my last appointment, the previous Thursday, my OB wanted to check for preeclampsia because she was concerned about the swelling in my legs and feet.  My blood pressure had been high since about 12 weeks, so my preeclampsia wasn't predicated by a huge increase in blood pressure, which I think is important to note.  My regular urine catch wasn't turning up any protein so she ordered a 24-hour urine catch.  I took Friday off of work (obviously, because who want to see someones pee jug in a fridge) and was to return to the OB's office on Monday for my results.  Monday morning rolls around and my husband and I go to the OB office.  She checks my cervix (4cm dilated already) and leaves to get my pee test results.  It felt like we waited FOREVER.  Finally she comes back and says, "Well, my dear, you have preeclampsia!"  So they wheel in a wheelchair and push me down to L&D (my doctor's office is attached to the hospital).  I didn't have to have my cervix prepped because I was already dilating and thinning (I most likely would have gone into labor on my own not much later is what they told me) so they started my Pitocin.  They got me an epidural pretty quickly because I was already dilated to a 4.  After my epidural was in my OB came in and ruptured my bag.  In total my labor lasted about 8 hours and I pushed for maybe 1.5 hours.  My body responded really well to the Pitocin, probably because it was already in the process of doing it on its own.  My daughter was 7 lbs 7 oz and perfectly healthy.

    **TW:  Postpartum with my first was really rough.  I suffered from PPD and I found almost no joy in my daughter, which led to enormous amounts of pain and guilt that I've only recently been working through with a therapist.  It took me off guard.  I expected to feel rapturous and ecstatic right off the bat.  My depression lasted about 8 weeks.  I didn't want to be alone but I also didn't want anyone to be around me.  I constantly thought that having a baby was a huge mistake.  I swore that I wouldn't have anymore.  When it finally alleviated my viewpoints shifted, but I was still riddled with guilt for feeling the way that I did.

    With my second baby, I was also diagnosed with preeclampsia, but a lot sooner.  My blood pressure did stay normal right until the onset of the preeclampsia this time, but when it did jump it wasn't a dangerously high number.  I was 34 weeks and I knew I had preeclampsia because my husband, our daughter, and I were eating lunch on a Saturday afternoon at Steak n' Shake and all of a sudden I started seeing flashes of blinding light in the corners of my eye.  I had read up on the signs and symptoms of preeclampsia because even though I was told repeatedly that I probably wouldn't get it a second time by my doctors, I still felt a little leery.  I knew immediately what was going on and called the on-call doctor, who told me to try to get somewhere and take my blood pressure.  I went to Kroger and used one of those in-store machines, which was a terrible idea because the numbers it gave me were insane.  So I bought an at-home monitor, tried to calm down as my husband drove us home, and retook it at home.  My blood pressure had jumped, but wasn't dangerously high.  I called my doctor back who told me to come in Monday afternoon.  When I saw her on Monday afternoon, she told me that I didn't look well and that she really wanted to keep me in the hospital overnight to do my 24-hour urine so that I could rest.  I agreed.  The next day, she came in to tell me that once again, I had preeclampsia.  I was only 34 weeks this time, so I was put on strict bedrest until my induction date which would be 37 weeks exactly.  Between the time I was put on bedrest and the time I was induced, I went to labor and delivery twice because there was a fear my preeclampsia was getting worse.  On the day I was induced, I had not progressed at all.  I think I was only at 2 for dilation.  They started my Pitocin at around 6 a.m. and I didn't give birth until 13 hours later.  I could tell my body wasn't ready this time.

    ***TW:  My daughter was born and we did kangaroo care and all of that good stuff with her.  About 45 minutes after she was born, she was making this squeaky kind of wheezy noise.  We pointed it out to the nurse because we thought it was cute, but when she listened you could tell the nurse was really worried.  It turned out that she wasn't breathing properly.  They put her on oxygen overnight and hoped that her lungs would transition with just a little bit of oxygen.  Unfortunately, at about noon the next day, she had to be put on a ventilator and rushed to a high-level NICU downtown.  I was immediately discharged only 17 hours after delivery so that I could be with her.  She was diagnosed with persistent pulmonary hypertension of a newborn (PPHN) which is when the circulatory transition to the lungs doesn't complete.  She had to be on a ventilator for 3 days and spent a total of 11 days in the NICU.  But thank goodness, we go to bring her home and she's a happy, healthy 19 month old now.

    Postpartum with her honestly is kind of haze.  I was so distracted by her condition that I didn't really have a lot of time to be sad.  I thought it would cause PPD but I didn't end up having it with her.  However, I still suffer from slight trauma surrounding the situation, so some things will trigger the memories and cause me to cry or get really upset.  

    ***Edited because I realized I didn't put any helpful advice because I can't remember anything anymore.  My biggest one is to listen to your body and to your own intuition.  If you feel like something is wrong, definitely call your doctor or a nurse line.  There are some things that pop up completely out of nowhere during pregnancy and if you're like me, you might not want to be bother to someone or to seem like you're being ridiculous.   Pregnancy is so weird and changes our bodies so much, and honestly, think about all the money your doctor/midwife is making, that it's much, much better to be safe than sorry.  Same goes with postpartum - if something doesn't feel right, physically or emotionally, reach out to someone.  There are so many resources and there's so much help to be had.  You don't and shouldn't have to suffer.
    Me:  28  DH:  33
    Married:  10/04/2014
    DD1:  03/02/15
    DD2:  08/04/16
    Baby 3 Due:  11/23/18!

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  • purplefan1purplefan1 member
    My little one was born at 38w due to lack of growth. I was going for twice weekly NSTs due to gestational diabetes and during one of the tests she didn't respond well. I was sent for a quick ultrasound to find out she hadn't grown in two weeks and I was being sent to the hospital to start pitocin.

    Got the pitocin started around 1pm and antibiotic fir group b strep (which I had just found out about that day). Mild contractions started around 2pm. They would up pitocin every hour. I wasnt progressing and at 4:15pm I was still only 2cm dilated. They decided to break my water at 845pm. Found out she was meconium stained so they alerted NICU that she might be coming to stay based on how her lungs were at birth. Still wasnt progressing and honestly, without anything to compare to, the contractions with pitocin sucked. I never felt like I got a break before the next one would come and since I wasn't progressing it was so frustrating. I had planned to go without and epidural,  however about 1045pm I requested one. They have me an IV med first and looking back, I think I could have finished with that. I was worried about needing some sleep and rest though so I asked for the epidural. To be honest, I was so frustrating with the monitors they had to keep on me too. I couldnt move or get comfortable because then her heart rate monitor would lose track of her and because her heart rate kept dipping they were worried. At one point I was cut off from water because they thought we were going to head to the OR.

    Anyway. Got epidural about 1120pm. Doctor checked and I had progressing to 8cm. Doctor said he would be back later, I was still getting hit with contractions since the epidural didn't feel like it totally took with me, and I told them I really felt like I needed to poop. The nurse ran to get doctor, he came and checked and baby was crowning. 6 minutes of pushing and she was out at 1143pm. Luckily completely healthy so no NICU stay, and her blood sugars stayed stabilized through the whole stay despite my GD.

    I would say, I think having a plan in mind for when you get in is a great idea. But please understand that it might not go according to your plan. Have contingencies in that plan. Like, plan A would be this, plan B would be this. Have plans A-F ready to go in your mind. I didn't want an epidural, I didn't want a pitocin assist, I didn't want a c-section. But I was literally ready to do anything and everything to get that baby here safely. And I felt like my doctor and I were on the same page. So if he recommended it, I trusted it was the best for both of us. Having that flexibility helped me personally stay calm which I think helped labor eventually progress.

    Also, I truly think learning breathing skills, sinking in to the contractions instead of trying to resist them, and focusing on an "I can do it" sort of mentality helped. 

    After the birth I was on a literal high for what felt like forever. I didn't sleep that entire night or at all the next day. I don't think I fell asleep again until 8pm the next day. I couldnt believe my miracle was finally here!!
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  • cm716cm716 member
    edited March 2018
    Things I wish I'd known: don't read if your squeamish.

    1. It is possible for your baby to come so quickly that you cannot get an epidural. This sucks. Especially if you were banking on one.

    2.Down is not the only way you can tear. 

    3. The squirt bottle thing they give you to use when you pee is an absolute lifesaver.

    4. Late ultrasounds can be off by a pound or more, I can personally testify.

    5.don't let the postpartum nurses push up around. Your the mom and b it's your baby.

    Edit to add birth details:

    Baby #1 my water broke while I was walking in the mall. I was 3 days overdue. I drove myself home and my husband and I went to the hospital. they were reluctant to admit me because I was not having any contractions. they swabbed me and were not able to find evidence of my water breaking and sent me to walk around for an hour. After that they were able to determine that my water has broken and while I was in triage waiting to be admitted it burst all over the hospital bed.  they immediately gave me pitocin. It made me nauseous and I puked everywhere including on my poor mom. Baby's oxygen dropped briefly and they gave me a mask. shortly after that they checked me expecting me to be a seven or eight and I was a 10 and her head was coming out. They got the doctor in and she came out in 2 pushes and i had a small episiotomy. Labor 6 hours.

    Baby number 2 My contractions started on their own and were 10 to 15 minutes apart. About an hour and a half later I had a huge contraction and they went from 10 minutes to 2 minutes. It was 2 a.m. and we dropped my two-year-old off on the way to the hospital. I was admitted and already have an 8. The anesthesiologist tried to place an epidural and told me to wait 20 minutes. 20 minutes later she was about 15 minutes old and my inner labia tore in half. Start to finish she was 4 and 1/2 hours and my largest baby at 8'5. 

     Baby#3 I was scheduled to be induced because my OB was so concerned about my son's size. He was estimated to be 8'12 as I had gotten an ultrasound that morning. I started having Braxton Hicks contractions later that night. They were not painful but were frequent and long lasting . After my daughter, I did not want to be at the hospital too late to get an epidural. We drove to the hospital and I was admitted based on the fact that I was at 4 and already on the schedule to be induced for Monday. They placed the epidural before I even got my first contraction. I labored all through the night but the OB wouldn't be in until the morning and the nurse wasn't allowed to break my water. Around 8:30 the doctor came in and broke my water and informed me that my son was sunny side up which was why my water has not broken on its own. She came back to check me in 45 minutes and I pushed him out in four pushes. Labor 9 hours.
    TL;DR I had three babies, don't let staff push you around, you still never be the same but they're worth it.
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  • therealfrizzletherealfrizzle member
    @cm716 I second the postpartum nurses thing. I was in tears from the ones that attended me. One made me and H so scared of over feeding DS, we actually underfed him the first day and half at home. She was so mean when she found out he drank 15 mL of formula through the night, I cried and thought I was the worst mom ever. She said no more than 10 mL. My breasts weren't given him much, so he drank what he needed. Honestly, you can't over feed a newborn. They stop when they're ready and if they're screaming, they need more. I still get ragey over it.

    Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15

    1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!

    2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!

    3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21

    Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.

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  • cm716cm716 member
    @PMForbie that sucks. With my first our postpartum nurse kept insisting that my daughter needed to be woken up to nurse. When I refused because  I wanted to let her sleep she gave me a really hard time and insisted that her sugars be checked after her next feed. Looking back I would have just requested a different nurse.she was mean and pushy.
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  • cm716cm716 member
    Also, no matter what the nurses tell you breastfeeding WILL hurt for the first 2-3 weeks. If you want to breastfeed, hang on for those first. After that it's so much easier.
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  • runningyogimamarunningyogimama member
    edited March 2018
    I give up. The bump keeps eating my post. I’ll try again later.

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  • offtoneverlandofftoneverland member
    edited March 2018
    I got lucky and DD's birth was very easy. My water broke in the middle of the night 2 days after my due date. I called the OB, who said to come straight to the hospital. I started having contractions on the way to the hospital, but they weren't too bad. As soon as I got there, they started me on pitocin right away because they said there's a pretty big risk of infection after your water breaks, so they wanted to move it along. I didn't really mind, but the contractions were excruciating. After the epidural, it was much easier.

    I had DD 10 hours after arriving at the hospital, after pushing for about 20 minutes. She was 8lb 5oz and the doctors and nurses kept commenting on how huge she was.
     
    I hated breastfeeding as well. It really stressed me out and I could never find a comfortable way to hold her. Even with pillows and whatnot, my neck and back hurt so bad after breastfeeding her. I ended up switching to EPing at around 4 weeks, I think, and it worked really well for me. 

    I think the weirdest part for me was all the postpartum emotions. I did not experience PPD, but all the feels going through my body were just crazy and weird. I can't think of any way to describe it. I knew that becoming a parent would be hard, but it was harder in a way I didn't expect. I expected it to be hard because of all the work that comes with having a new baby (sleepless nights, diaper changes, spit ups, etc.), but that wasn't it at all. For me, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that I birthed a real live human who depended on me for everything. I guess a good way to explain it would be to say it was emotionally draining. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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  • thebobloblawthebobloblaw member
    I was scheduled to be induced at 37 weeks due to gestational diabetes, baby measuring large for my stature, and too much amniotic fluid. At my last appointment my OB checked me and with little warning stripped my membranes. I’m not gonna lie, it hurt like a b**. 

    Checked into L&D at 7pm the night before and they inserted the foley bulb. For some reason (pregnancy brain) I thought they would feed me dinner. They didn’t so SO had to run and get food. I hadn’t had fast food in months, and was told to stop taking my meds so I knew my sugars would sky rocket. They did, so I had to have an IV of insulin started. The nurses did not seem very knowledgeable about GD, which seemed weird to me. I was told to check my sugars with my own reader as it was better than the one they had. 

    Overnight I was woken every 2 hours to check sugars, I probably got 3 hours of broken sleep total. At 6am the Foley was out, I was at 4cm and they let me eat my last meal before starting pitocin. Pretty quickly I had intense and painful contractions but was not progressing. My OB broke my water, again with no warning while checking me mid morning. I didn’t have much of a birth plan but this irritated me as I knew it started the timer for when CS would be mandatory. 

    I had had to lay with the peanut because she was positioned badly, and I couldn’t get up and move around due to being hooked up to so many different monitors. I was having horrible back pain and contractions and still not progressing by 3pm and a nurse talked me into doing the epi. My only concern was getting it too early. It went smoothly though and the staff was awesome at being calm and making me be prepared for the process. 

    I felt immediate relief after the epidural, but I began shaking really bad and uncontrollably. My blood pressure was dropping so they added some
    meds to the regimen (the shaking did not stop until I was an hour out of delivery). I asked if I could take a nap, the nurses said if I wanted to I definitely should rest. I napped for about 2 hours, woke up and told a nurse it felt like I needed to have a BM. They checked me and she was crowning and ready to go!

    I honestly don’t remember how long I pushed for, I’d guess 30-45 minutes. I could still tell when I was having a contraction which helped. I needed two stitches but otherwise delivery was as smooth as one could ask for. DD was born at 7:53pm at 7lb 14oz, 21in. 1.5lbs less than measured at last U/S. I strongly believe the epidural was key in making my body relax and allowed things to progress. 

    Postpartum: pregnancy hormones are crazy. PP hormones are like twice as intense. Breast feeding was crazy stressful for me, as it is with most I’m sure. Learning to latch was not easy and ended up using a nipple shield which the LC was very against as it’s hard to wean off of. It helped immensely though and we weaned off of it in a couple weeks! I learned to not put so much weight in what nurses and doctors preach, but to trust my gut and do what I need to to make things work. I ditto advice about pads, squirt bottle and tucks being lifesavers. Also take as many mesh underwear as possible from the hospital, those things are amazing!
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  • aels12aels12 member
    I had been 4 cm dilated and about 70% effaced since 38 weeks, my dr was sure I wouldn’t make it past the weekend. I did... and then went past my due date too! I was scheduled to be induced at 41 weeks at 7:30 in the morning. I woke up that morning feeling perfectly normal. Took a shower, went downstairs to eat breakfast. Went upstairs to do my hair at 6:30
    and all the sudden felt like I needed to poop. I was having really bad diarrhea cramps and they wouldn’t go away. DH and I finally connected the dots that I was actually in labor. And I had skipped right to active labor. It took some time but my husband finally got me dressed (backwards t shirt, gym shorts and flip
    flops in Iowa in January) and got me out the door. I still hassle him about his choice to take city streets with soooo many stop lights instead of the interstate. It was not the most fun car ride I’ve ever been on, but we made it to the hospital at 7:20. I was terrified of having the baby at home or in the car so I immediately felt better just being there. We got right in to my room since I had the induction scheduled anyway, my water broke right as I walked in and by th time they checked me I was fully dilated and ready to push. I didn’t have enough time for an epidural-I had been leaning against getting one but figured I would see how bad the pain was before deciding for sure, so it was decided for me. It turned out the worst of my contractions had happened at home and in the car, by the time we got to the hospital things had eased up and there was at least a couple of minutes in between each one to recover. I never had the actual urge to push, but the nurse told me pushing takes away the pain from contractions, so she finally convinced me to do it. Our baby was born at 9:18 am, I had a second degree tear. It was a crazy not quite three hours, but all in all, not the worst way for it to have happened. I’m definitely afraid of how fast this next baby might come!
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  • TheSouffleGirlTheSouffleGirl member
    Story:  I had consistent high blood pressure due to my d@mn white coat hypertension, so I was induced 3 days early because I was already dilated 3-4 cm.  I didn't experience a single contraction before they had the epidural in (the needle wasn't that bad, but they didn't let me see it and I'm not scared of needles).  I was in labor for about 10 painless hours before my blood pressure took a sudden dive because they had given me too much epidural medicine for my height/weight.  Although I almost blacked out initially, they turned the epidural down a little and I felt fine.  After about an hour more, the nurse told me it was time to push and that the doctor would be in soon.  It took him 2.5 hours to show up because he had gone home to sleep and his phone had died!  :(  

    Once the doctor finally showed up, things got a little messier.  I had polyhydramniosis (too much amniotic fluid) and that and the epidural were making it difficult for the baby to get down the canal.  After 2.5 hours of pushing, her heart rate was starting to drop, so they turned *off* my epidural and told me it was now or never.  We finally got her out with the help of a vacuum close to hour 3.  Those last 3 hours were painful, but honestly the adrenaline rush and the need to get-'er-done made it somehow like the pain was being processed by some tough determined version of me and not the lame one who elected to have an epidural. ;)  

    As I said on another thread, I didn't do much to prepare for childbirth and I don't regret it.  I have a very nervous personality and I think I did better in the hands of the doctors and nurses, who explained things as they happened and let me know when I had choices.  I did have a couple of minor bumps, but was satisfied with how the hospital staff chose to handle them.

    I got to snuggle with the baby for about an hour before they took her to the NICU because she had aspirated some fluid during the birthing process.  She stayed in for about 36 hours and I had to be wheeled up and down every 3 to nurse her.  However, the whole process made me very glad I had chosen a hospital with a Level 3 NICU.  We spent an extra night in the hospital and were discharged on time.

    I got home and was very glad we had a care calendar set up and some basic recovery supplies.  The next few days were a blur, especially because I was not very well prepared for how difficult breastfeeding would be.  It was super painful and so frustrating that my daughter would never latch on well!  I went in to see the lactation consultant a couple of times, but wound up pumping almost always.  In the end, I lost my milk due to having to pump constantly (it's hard to maintain) and a thyroid supply issue, as well as my daughter's refusal to nurse, which might or might not have been an issue with some kind of tie.  I do wish I had known about the link between thyroid issues and breastfeeding before, although I also found formula feeding a relief by the time we got there.  :) 


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  • tinypikachutinypikachu member
    I was in S16 and had a baby girl at 39w5d. 

    I had preeclampsia and was on bedrest for a couple of weeks (also had GD). Went to my 40 week appointment at 39w5d and had 3+ proteinuria and baby girl had lost some weight so the doctor sent me for an induction.

    Put on pit at 12:30pm and contractions started pretty much right away. I’d been having regular BH for weeks but this really got me going immediately. I had planned on doing hypnobirthing and trying for a med-free birth (even though I always had a “we’ll see how it goes” mentality) but that obviously went out the window with pitocin. My water broke some time in the afternoon and I made it until like 6-8 cm (can’t remember exactly) with hypnobirthing and got an epidural at around 6:30-7pm. My epi didn’t work completely and I also couldn’t be flat on my back because DD’s HR kept dropping, so I had to be on my side and still breathing through contractions but it took the edge off. We did some practice pushes at 9.5cm and DD’s HR dropped to the 70s. It was really scary but our nurse was amazing. She called the charge nurse and they put me in all fours and called the OB. My OB was waiting in his office (literally across the street) so it took him about ten minutes to get there. DD’s HR was in the 70s for 8-9 mins and all I kept thinking was “get her out and make her better”. But it stabilized. I rolled back on my back and we waited another 10 mins to let her HR stay stable. I pushed for 10-15 mins and she was out!! Best moment of my life right there. It was only a 10 hour induction, so I was happy it all went quickly and smoothly, for the most part. 

    I had a second degree tear and was getting sewn up while the NICU team checked her and gave her oxygen. As soon as she got better, my BP tanked. I felt so guilty because I couldn’t nurse her for like two hours because I felt like I was going to faint every time they sat me up (I also honestly didn’t know how to BF). Her blood sugar was low for the first 36 hours but I was able to keep her with me and just had to supplement for the first few days. 

    Lactation consultants were amazing and a huge help as a FTM, if you’re planning on bfing. My BP was low for a few days but the PP nurses were so amazing and helpful with that and everything else, I just can’t rave enough about them. It’s hard to appreciate a stranger so deeply until they’re crouched in front of you while you’re on the toilet and they’re cleaning your blood and making you a padsicle. You’ll love those women. 

    Be very prepared for crazy hormonal changes in the days to weeks after baby. I felt extremely hormonal, everything seemed dire, I couldn’t get a handle on my emotions, it’s all normal. I also had PPA and PPD and I recommend always always always getting help for it. 

    As far as the stitches, if you have a vaginal delivery and tear, expect to not sit without wincing for a couple weeks. Mine hurt until 2-3 months after and it sucked but, in hindsight, it’s really not as big of a deal as it seemed when I was pregnant. Tucks pads and a peri bottle are your best friends. Also, do not forget to take your Colace after delivery. You’ll thank me later for that one lol
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  • tinypikachutinypikachu member
    @TheSouffleGirl my supply tanked a few months after delivery and it wasn’t until I had my thyroid meds adjusted two months later that it picked back up. I also didn’t know there was a link between being hypo and low supply. I wish I had known so I could’ve gotten it checked two months earlier

    DD has a upper lip tie that never got corrected because it hadn’t affected my supply/her weight gain but she always had a shallow latch and it hurt so much! We were able to bf until 16 months but it was definitely not an easy road
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  • EveinshockEveinshock member
    tinypikachu said:
    As far as the stitches, if you have a vaginal delivery and tear, expect to not sit without wincing for a couple weeks. Mine hurt until 2-3 months after and it sucked but, in hindsight, it’s really not as big of a deal as it seemed when I was pregnant. Tucks pads and a peri bottle are your best friends. Also, do not forget to take your Colace after delivery. You’ll thank me later for that one lol
    Sit on a boppy! The nurse that came to my house 1 week later suggested it. It saved me. I was in so much pain from the tear/stitches.  I used to fill that bottle with ice cold water instead of warm. Oh it was such a relief.  
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  • tinypikachutinypikachu member
    @Eveinshock that’s a pretty great idea!!!
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  • ClobertClobert member
     I had a healthy pregnancy but my birth and postpartum/breastfeeding/first 6 months were very long and difficult.  It was 56 hours from water breaking to birth. 6 days before my due date around 5am I felt leaking and thought my water had broken.  I called the hospital and my doula and they told me I should come in that afternoon.  A while later I started walking around to get labor going and had contractions but they were not regular.  They tested me at the hospital and it was my waters, but I didn’t want to be induced yet so they said I had until 9pm that night.  I tried walking but there was an ice storm so I walked up and down my apartment and the halls of the hospital. When I checked in I was having contractions but was not dilated enough.  They told me I had to do something, but I didn’t want pitocin, so the midwives (hospital based) said I could try castor oil.  I do not recommend this.  It was like having food poisoning all night but with contractions.  They later determined that the baby was to one side with the cord over her shoulder so she wasn’t pushing down enough to dilate even though I was having contractions.  At 9am they started pitocin.  I didn’t want an epidural.  The pitocin contractions were very difficult and they kept turning it up. I was checked several times and still wasn’t dilated enough.  I was sitting on a birth ball trying to get baby to turn,  but needed to be on the monitors so couldn’t move around much. They suggested a fully bulb.  This was the most painful thing ever and I don’t recommend without an epidural.  I threw up after.  It help me dilate a few cm.  I kept throwing up and shaking so they thought maybe it was transition, but I still wasn’t dilated enough.  Around 4am the next morning (19 hours on pitocin) the midwife came in to talk to me about an epidural and thought I would be too tired to push if I didn’t get one.  I didn’t feel pressured (I think having my doula there helped), but I decided to get that.  It was enough relief for me to fall asleep for 2 hours.  When I woke up I was dilated more and a while later was ready to start pushing.  The epidural was uneven and settled into one side.  I let it wear off instead of upping it because I didn’t like it uneven.   The nurse asked if I could pull on a sheet like I was rowing and I was so pumped because I was a rower!  It worked! I pushed her out!  They said it was 4 hours of pushing but it didn’t feel that long.  The birth team, my husband, doula, nurse and midwife were awesome.  She was put right on my chest and i was so overwhelmed with joy and love.  She stayed skin to skin and went right for the breast.  She was really healthy.  7 lbs 10 ounces, very alert and wide eyed.  It was incredible and completely worth it.  I tore and they gave me a few stitches.  
    Post partum was difficult.  I was very sleep deprived.   My legs and feet were swollen from fluid.  I was very sore down there.  All my muscles were sore for days from labor, even my arms and legs.  
    My daughter had a tongue tie and breastfeeding was extremely painful and she wasn’t gaining weight.  It’s a very long story but I saw Lactation consultants and got her tongue tie released and ended up pumping after every feed and supplementing with breastmilk and some formula for about 4-5 months until she was able to nurse without a breast shield and getting enough milk from breastfeeding alone.  I went on to breastfeed for 2 years.  Both birth and breastfeeding were long difficult stories but had a happy ending and made it all worth it.  
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  • Pink724Pink724 member
    I've had three unmedicated vaginal hospital deliveries. I'm happy to answer any questions you may have about further details, but I don't think anyone wants to read pages and pages of my birth stories right now :)

    Oldest came at 40w5d, 9lbs 10oz. Middle at 40w3d, 9lbs 3oz. Youngest at 40w2d, 8lbs 15oz.

    Yes, the growth ultrasounds at the end of pregnancy can be off by quite a bit (they said my middle would be close to 11lbs), but sometimes they are right (my oldest was predicted to be almost 10lbs, and she was).

    If you are interested in an unmedicated delivery, you MUST find a practitioner who lines up with your birth expectations. Don't be afraid to shop around - most OBs/midwives offer Q&A appointments.

    I was prepared for the labor and delivery but not the aftermath. I had a 3rd degree tear with my first and it was extremely painful. 2nd degrees with the others. After delivery, I prefer not to hold my baby immediately (I have her do skin to skin with my husband), because I am very sensitive when they do the stitches.

    Ask for help from a nurse the first couple of times you go to the bathroom. Use the bottle, numbing spray, etc. You'll get a whole routine down. Ask for anything and everything they offer (diaper/pad filled with ice, epifoam, etc.). They are there to help you and make you feel comfortable.

    At the last check-in before night time, ask the nurses to leave you alone as much as possible. You need sleep, and a lot of times they can sneak in and check on you without disturbing you or the baby. You desperately need that recovery time.

    Obviously you don't have much control over this, but having your baby in the early morning hours gets you some extra time in the hospital ;) You get two nights' stay after a "normal" delivery, and if you have your baby at 11:59pm that counts as your first night. 12:01am and you have two left! My 2nd and 3rd were born in the 3am hour which worked out well for me. Take the time in the hospital to rest and accept help from the nurses!
    Mom to three girls and pregnant with #4!
    L: 7/12/13
    C: 5/11/15
    E: 3/7/17
    Due 11/10/18
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  • meiosismeiosis member
    My first was due 1/13/17, but she was born ten days early on 1/3/17 (38w5d). Starting at 37 weeks pregnant, I became obsessed with going into labor. I started taking evening primrose oil (orally and vaginally), running, doing squats, having sex daily, and bouncing on my exercise ball. I tried to get my midwife to do a membrane sweep when I was almost 38 weeks, but she said she would do it the next week. (I actually never got the sweep because the baby was born the day before my next appointment). On 38w1d, I lost my mucus plug and had a feeling things were about to get started. I noticed that night that I was having strong and regular contractions after sex, but they tapered off after about three hours. Same thing the next night, except they continued throughout the night keeping me awake. They were barely painful, but had been steady for about eight hours. Around 5am, I woke my husband, told him what was going on and suggested that we start getting ready to go to the hospital. *TMI warning* As we were getting ready, I felt a gush of liquid. I suspected it was my water breaking because it was pinkish clear, although it seemed like a smaller quantity. /*TMI* The contractions started tapering off as soon as we got to the hospital (much to my dismay), but I asked them to verify if my water had broken because I was GBS positive, and would have needed to start antibiotics if it had. Turns out it wasn't my water breaking, and they couldn't tell me for sure what it actually was! I was devastated and disheartened because I had been up all night for nothing, but we returned home and I slept most of the day.
    The contractions came back that night, but I was determined to ignore them because I was so mad about the false alarm the night before. Around 2am, ignoring them became impossible as I was in so much pain. I was actually crying! I woke my husband and he knew it was the real deal because he had never seen me so distressed. He called labor and delivery and the nurse suggested that I try taking a warm bath and waiting an hour to come in. Before he even got off the phone I said there's no way I could wait. I was too nauseated and dizzy from the pain. It was torture to sit in the car for the 15 minutes it took to drive to the hospital! I was 5cm dilated when we got there and they admitted me. I asked for an epidural as soon as possible, and only had to wait through about three contractions before I got it. I felt like a totally different person after that! Totally relaxed and happy to be there. My labor slowed down a bit after that, but my midwife broke my water around 9am which helped pick up the pace. I was almost completely dilated and effaced around 1pm, but my midwife was attending another birth so we decided to wait a bit to start pushing (not a problem for me since I had the epi). I did a few practice pushes with the nurse right before my midwife arrived, so I was ready to go right when she got there. It took less than 30 mins to push the baby out and was not at all difficult even though I couldn't feel anything down there. Julia was born at 2pm, about 12 hours after the contractions became too painful to ignore. We had a full house in the delivery room: my husband, his mom and sister, my parents and my sister, the labor nurse and midwife, plus a NICU nurse and a few other people who were there "just in case" since there was meconium in the amniotic fluid. Julia didn't cry right after she came out, but she was fine after they suctioned out her nose and throat. I had a minor internal tear, which my midwife stitched up. 
    My biggest issue in the first couple of days was that my nipples were extremely sore and painful from nursing by the first night home, but I powered through with the help of ice packs and lanolin cream. The only other notable thing about my postpartum experience was that I had about two weeks of intense anxiety about the baby. I constantly worried that something was wrong with her or that she was sick. Luckily, my husband was very calm and reassuring, and it wasn't long before I started to calm down too. Everything else was pretty standard. 

    Thanks for the prompt! Super fun to relive the best day of my life! 
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  • mrsclark731mrsclark731 member
    I had my daughter in February 2015 at 41+2.

    I’m 6’0 and my husband is 6’3...I was 10 lbs 10 oz at birth and I expected I’d have a big baby. My older sister had two children naturally without any issues (both under 8 lbs). I wasn’t prepared for an emergency section as a real possibility, but that’s what I got! She was 9 lbs 14 oz and delivered via cesarean.

    Quick break down of birth for me:
    -failed induction at 41+ weeks
    -two failed epidurals 
    -emergency c-section
    -oxygen for 24 hours after surgery
    -blood patch
    -NICU stay

    My advice to FTMs—accept that what is going to happen will and it’s out of your control. Main goal is healthy baby and mom. Throw expectations out the window. Prepare to be unprepared and that’s okay. 

    Trust me, at the end of pregnancy you will want baby *out* and accepting that childbirth is going to happen comes naturally. 





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  • msb11182018msb11182018 member
    The night before my son was born I felt like I was up using the bathroom every hour. The next morning after DH left for work I attempted to get back in bed to catch some more sleep after using the bathroom yet again but as I climbed into bed I felt like I had peed myself, annoyed I went back to the bathroom again, got cleaned up and tried to lay down. Throughout the morning if I changed positions a certain way it would feel as though I had peed myself again slightly. Annoyed I called DH and told him we were going to the hospital to get it checked out because I wasn't going to spend the day changing clothes. Picked DH up on the way to the hospital because it was faster that way. Got there around 1pm, nurse did a swab test to confirm that my water was actually leaking and checked to confirm that I was dilated to a 2. I had not had any contractions at that point. They got me checked into my room and hooked up to the monitors by 3pm to confirm that no contractions were happening and that baby was just fine. The doctor decided to wait a while to see if contractions would start on their own, if not they would start pitocin around 6pm. DH and I spent time doing laps around my room and watching TV. Later the nurse came in to let us know they would be delaying the pitocin because three women had come in in active labor so they would hold off until midnight for me. Got checked again, still only at 2cm and my water was still only leaking not broken. Spent the evening wishing I could eat, munching on ice chips and wishing they were tacos (did I mention it was Cinco de Mayo?). Around midnight the nurse started the pitocin drip, coming in to turn it up every hour or so. By 8am I was only at a 4 and feeling all of the awful contractions. The next doctor on shift decided to break my water and offered some IV pain meds to help me relax, it worked for about thirty minutes while I was in a daze. Once that wore off I tried using the birthing ball for a bit but couldn't stop vomiting due to lack of food and zofran in my system. They gave me an IV dose of zofran and began to discuss what would happen if I didn't start to dilate more(c-section), they do not like to go more than 24 hours from when your water starts to leak/breaks to delivery for the baby's well-being. At that point 9am I decided to get the epidural in hopes it would let my body relax enough to dilate the rest of the way. The doctor placed the epidural while I was on the birthing ball, I was impressed. After the epidural was placed, I got back into bed and took the most wonderful nap and was woken up by the nurse telling me it was time to push around 10:30am. Pushed for approximately 30 minutes and DS was born on May 6, 2015, right on his due date. 7.7lbs 20.5inches. I had some minor tearing, required two stitches but healed up quickly and with no pain meds. Ended up staying in the hospital an extra night because doctors were concerned with his quick delivery and wanted to monitor him a little longer.  He's now a happy, healthy three year old.

    Things I did not know before birth: That when your water breaks it doesn't always make a big scene like in movies and on tv. That you should eat on your way to the hospital even if you don't think you will be giving birth that day because you will be starving if you are in labor for hours/overnight and will want to tell the nurses where to put their ice-chips. 
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  • blovemamablovemama member
    My experience is probably different than most: I had my son via “urgent” c-section at 34 weeks, 4 days. I never went into labor. I had been in the hospital on bed rest for over two weeks, and the doctor came in one morning and told me my lab work was looking bad, and he needed to be born immediately. I had preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Honestly, I had a super easy recovery from my c-section. My SIL had a vaginal delivery a few months before me, and she was in pain for months. I felt pretty much fine after the first 2 days. Here is what I tell my friends who are pregnant: if you require a c-section, you can still breastfeed your baby fine. I didn’t even see my son until he was 30 hours old. He couldn’t latch b/c of his prematurity. He took bottles pretty much exclusively for his first two months. He then figured out how to latch around his due date and we breastfed until after his first birthday. I know a lot of people make this huge deal about immediately doing skin to skin and breastfeeding. If that isn’t in the cards for you, it doesn’t mean you’re doomed to fail at breastfeeding. 
    Together since '07
    Married since '12
    Off the pill since 5/14
    BFP: 8/10/14 -- CP 8/22/14
    BFP: 12/10/15 -- Prayers requested

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  • offtoneverlandofftoneverland member
    @emjohn517 Wow, what a story. Thank you for sharing. I can't imagine how terrified you must have been. What a miracle that it all worked out well in the end and that you now have a healthy 2.5 yo. 
    Your advice is spot on. It made me tear up a little bit, thinking back to those days when everything is so new and you're trying to do it all at once as perfectly as possible, when really all you want to do is cuddle your baby and be alone. I miss those days of having a baby sleep on me, so I'm determined to hold and love on this one as much as possible. Before I had DD, I thought I'd want people over all the time helping out, but I was so wrong. 
    *TW*
    Me: 31 | DH: 33
    DD1: 8/2014  <3
    TTC #2: 6/2017
    BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
    BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
    BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
    BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
    DD2: 10/2018  <3
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