TTTC Checkin 03-26-2018

GoldenKeys · March 2018

Hello everyone,

It's been a while since the last checkin, I had several stops and starts and wasn't able to get them posted. A lot has happened but I think that I got all of the updates completed... also extra special

to our longtime IF veterans today.

Hugs to anybody who needs one, and congratulations to any new BFPs... and welcome to the checkin: @mighty-mouse and @ladystout08!

I have a huge favor to ask: can I get a volunteer to be my backup for the checkin for the next month or so? There will be no need to keep track of the updates, you'd just need to start a new thread if it's not on the board by Wednesday morning.

Congratulations to @soehlerk for your BFP! Let me know when you consider yourself graduated!

How is everybody doing?

2018 BFP Hall Fame

lablover78 dx: PCOS, Compound Heterozygous MTHFR Rx: IVF
Tops-2: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: Metformin, Letrozole & TI
halfanewt: possible PCOS, MTHFR gene, slight MFI Rx: IVF
seethosestars: dx: DOR Rx: IVF + FET #1
Kim41313: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF

PAGING:

@BWhitta: dx: PCOS Rx: letrozole
@Bababatty: dx:Low Motility Rx: IVF
@ChristinaV2015: dx: blocked tubes, PCOS, endo + MFI Rx: lap, OPKs + TI
@emgem819 dx: PCOS, Rx: provera, femara + Bravelle
@hoffmanr7: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@jmr1515: dx: Mild MFI/morph, fibroid Rx: Surgery + TI
@mackenzie07 dx: PCOS and Endo Rx: metformin, letrozole, ovidrel
@mandasand: dx: low AMH Rx:IVF (Lupron, Menopur + Follistim)
@Mlight28: dx Unexplained Rx: Clomid
@MrsM00re87: dx: DOR PCOS, low morph Rx: Femara + TI
@Mythril: dx: PCOS (anovulatory) Rx:levothyroxine, metformin and femara + TI
@rachlee2010: dx: DOR Rx: IUI
@Samanthaarielxo dx: anovulation Rx: still in testing
@sarah0985: dx: PCOS, possible blocked tubes Rx: Lap
@SM746830: dx: PCOS, blocked tubes Rx: Surgery, Clomid
@starlitfae dx: MFI & balanced translocation, thyroid Rx: ivf with pgd testing
@funkykey dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@Worldtravler0522 dx: PCOS/Unexplained Rx: IVF
@notamyrtle: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI + injects
@MountainLady: dx: Unexplained Rx: Letrozole + IUI / possible IVF
@Kate437: dx:anovulatory Rx:Letrozole + trigger
@SP128: in testing/unexplained
@honeybeebub: dx:septate uterus, MTHFR Rx: septum resection surgery, baby aspirin & progesterone
@eranvo27: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin
@brittlefebvre: in testing
@Charligirl28: dx: unexplained Rx: Clomid
@kristimh80: dx: unexplained Rx: Injectables + trigger + IUI
@SoonToBeMommaHowe: dx: Unexplained Rx: naturally until IVF
@Brooke4131: dx: Secondary unexplained Rx: in testing
@fluffybookworm: dx: Anovulation + insulin resistance Rx: Metformin + prometrium + testing
@Asampson87: dx: unexplained + MFI Rx: metformin + testing
* @soehlerk: dx: Unexplained Rx: Femara + IUI
@hannahlce: dx: anovulatory PCOS Rx: metformin + letrozole
@emmasemm: dx: DOR & autoimmune Rx: IVF
@floridanursegirl: dx: unexplained anovulation Rx:Metformin, IUI+Femara+trigger
@aeb1116: dx: unexplained Rx: IUI
@Happyin14: dx: unexplained, RPL Rx: IVF
@amac2313: dx: unknown Rx: Clomid
@nurseerin2012: dx: unexplained Rx: letrozole + IUI
@Knottie1467155066: dx: unknown Rx: letrozole + trigger + TI
@thothscribe81: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@BenJay: Dx: PCOS/unexplained Rx. Metformin + supplements
@MicahDahn: Dx: irregular cycles Rx: preparing for testing
@kiwielopingbride: Dx: Unexplained Rx: IUI
@moloninge Dx:PCOS, hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, fibroids. Rx:Metformin,Synthroid,IUI w/letrozole, ovidrel, and progesterone.
@beec2421: dx: PCOS, hypothyroidism Rx: metformin, synthroid, clomid
@wishing-and-hoping: dx: unexplained rx: IUI
@echocharlietango: dx: Unexplained Rx: trying naturally
@kgabhart: dx: Unexplained/PCOS Rx: letrozole + IUI
@linz36: dx: Low AFC, MFI Rx: testing/IUI
@jrm_14: dx: Adrenal/overian insufficiency, Borderline-low AMH, Low progesterone Rx: IUI w/ injectables.
@ChristenMA83: dx: MFI Rx: IVF w/ISCI
@Bgreenfield10: dx: anovulatory PCOS, LPD Rx: Clomid + trigger
@serownarain: dx: in testing
@allisona66: dx: waiting for testing
@manhattanmama2: dx: unexplained Rx: IVF
@mirabelle33L dx: weak ovulation, possible LPD, AMA Rx: Injectables + Ovidrel + TI
@meganttc3: dx: PCOS, unexplained Rx: waiting to test
@mrsjcrane: dx: unexplained Rx: femara + trigger + TI + 2nd HCG booster
@mighty-mouse: dx:pcos & HA Rx: provera/letrozole + trigger
@ladystout08: dx: unknown Rx: waiting for testing

NEWCOMERS:To be added to the Weekly Checkin, please answer the following:

1. How long have you been TTC?
2. What is your diagnosis?
3. What is your current Rx plan?

QOTW: List 2 things in your junk drawer.

BWhitta · March 2018

Well, I went in for a blood draw this morning to make sure I’m not getting too much estrogen, and that’s about it for me until May 22, (endo surgery) haha. I’m feeling really frustrated with my weight, I lost 10 lbs almost as soon as I started the diet and then that’s it, haven’t lost anymore for 4+ weeks. I’m wondering if the estrogen is the problem? Have any of you taken estrogen and gained weight? I just cannot tell you how frustrating it is to be on this strict a diet and not at least get weight loss as a perk! Trying to remember that weight loss isn’t the point but come onnnnnnn.

@goldenkeys could you update my DX to include low AMH and endo?

wishing-and-hoping · March 2018

@BWhitta sorry for the plateau... I have not taken estrogen so I can't relate there, but can definitely relate with feeling frustrated. 12dpo and all negative tests so far, bleh. I hope your body is just adjusting to the new hormone situation and you'll start to see results once it does. Do you take the estrogen as a pill or a patch or what?

qotw - take out utensils and random koozies

ChristenMA83 · March 2018

@BWhitta I saw some weight gain with estrogen, but I also completely abandoned my diet (after having lost ~20lbs) when I started all the IVF meds...not ideal, but I just couldn't motivate myself to deal with it. I've been tracking my weight and playing with 9 pounds up and down since January. Weight gain can definitely be a side effect of estrogen, so I would say maintenance is a win.

AFM: I'm 6 days past FET. STruggling with the decision of testing before BETA. BETA is scheduled for Friday morning at 7:15. I think I'll probably cave and test tomorrow after discussing with DH tonight. Not knowing is getting too all-consuming for me.

QOTW: Batteries, Tape, extra dog collars. Actually organized it earlier this year but it's starting to get out of control again.

Bababatty · March 2018

@GoldenKeys I’m happy to volunteer to be your back-up! I anticipate being here for a while longer.

@BWhitta I’m sorry you’ve plateaued. I don’t think I really gained weight on estrogen but you’re taking it constantly and I think I’ve heard others have. Hmm... that’s so frustrating and I wish I had more advice!

@ChristenMA83 FX for Friday!

AFM I am still struggling so I’ve started seeing my therapist on a one-on-One basis. I was previously seeing her in a group. I’ve only seen her once, but I think it will help. I still periodically burst into tears. In the meantime, my RE is running all the RPL tests and DH has an SA to assess DNA fragmentation on Wednesday. RE doesn’t think any of this will show anything, but we should know next week. I’m not sure when we’ll do another FET because I’m in the running for a new job and I’d then need to wait a few months to ensure I’d qualify for both NYS’ paid Family leave and FMLA (for the remaining weeks). I hate waiting. After all of this, I’m taking ALL the maternity leave.

mirabelle33 · March 2018

@BWhitta sorry you're so frustrated

I've never taken estrogen, but I am on my third round of FSH injections and my estrogen has been pretty high each time. Just last week I thought my jeans felt a little tight and that I might have put on a couple pounds. I've also been watching my sugar intake and eliminating most junk food from my diet, so it's a bit frustrating as well. Do you have any fun distractions planned while you're waiting for May 22nd?

@wishing-and-hoping sorry for the BFNs

I'll keep my fx that it's still too soon to test.

@ChristenMA83 sending lots of positive vibes your way! I understand the all-consuming aspect of waiting to test and sometimes it is better to just know one way or the other. Fx for a positive outcome!!

AFM, I'm currently 7/8dpo - last Monday was also my birthday (bleh) so that would be a cool conception date if it works this month. I'm not very confident though - I had my first blood work and ultrasound on cycle day 9 and once again I was basically ready to go. I couldn't believe I already had a 19mm and a 14mm follicle. I also couldn't ask my doctor about why this keeps happening since she was on vacation and I went somewhere else for the ultrasound. At first I was upset about having to go somewhere else, but the doctor ended up being very thorough and professional. However, she asked me if I had endo and then proceeded to tell me that I have a cyst. Not what I was expecting since no doctor has ever mentioned endo to me and as far as I know, I've never had a cyst. I'm really hoping it's just because of all the meds (I did 4 Clomid cycles followed by 3 FSH cycles with no break in between), but of course I have had to wait this entire time to ask follow-up questions since my doctor doesn't come back from vacation until tomorrow and that was the earliest I could get in to see her. Anyone else ever get cysts from medicated cycles? At least I will be taking a forced break next cycle since we're traveling to the US in early April and I won't be able to be monitored. I'll do one more cycle when we get back and then it's straight to the RE on the 14th of May!

Bababatty · March 2018

@mirabelle33 I got a cyst on my first IVF cycle. Also, you might want to ask about estrogen priming. I’ve never heard it being done during an IUI or TI cycle, but maybe it could? My RE put me on estrogen the cycle before my second IVF cycle because he noticed one follie had taken off early and he wanted to be sure that didn’t happen during IVF. It might be worth inquiring about.

emmasemm · March 2018

@bwhitta I would second that you are doing really well to maintain whilst undergoing IF treatment.

@christenMA83 really hope Friday is good news for you!

@bababatty sorry you're having such a tough time, but also good that you've taken steps to get the support you need. And I'm with you on hating the waiting.

@mirabelle33 I was warned that cysts were one of the common side effects of clomid and injectibles before we started treatment, but you should get bloodwork to check if it is functional or not.

AFM CD1 today. Still waiting on Karyotyping results so can't start our next IVF cycle this time. So we're also playing the waiting game. This will be our third cycle waiting now. I am ready to get going again. Really really ready. Next two weeks should fly by with thesis writing, Easter family visit and gardening companies coming to give us quotes to re-do our garden.

@goldenkeys I'm also happy to help anytime. As we have three more retrieval cycles to do before we can even think of moving to an FET (assuming we will have embies) I have minimum six more months here.

BWhitta · March 2018

@wishing-and-hoping FX that you get a surprise BFP tomorrow!!!!!! The estrogen is a pill but I have to insert it vaginally (yay) it’s not easy either because they are small pills to begin with and I have to break them in half, haha. It’s a mess, I would say worse than progesterone supps but at least they’re small enough that they don’t leak out

@ChristenMA83 girl, if I were you I’d be POAS already, haha. You’re being so strong! I have everything crossed for you!!!!!!!

@Bababatty you are my hero

thinking of you often and I’m happy that you’re seeing your therapist, I truly believe that’s the best place to be! I don’t always believe this for myself, but I truly believe this will happen for you...maybe we have to believe for each other.

@mirabelle33 thank you

we are getting ready to start remodeling our kitchen so I will be GOOD and distracted! Where are you headed when you visit the states in April??? I’m sorry things have been frustrating for you too, I hope you get some answers from your doctor tomorrow. Happy Birthday!!!!!!

funkykey · March 2018

@BWhitta - one of the things I struggle most with actually during IF is my weight. Overall, I've probably gained about 10lbs since IF - not enough that I had to buy all new clothes, but enough that I can see it in photos. I find it really hard to maintain a regular exercise schedule and to watch my diet when I'm up to my eyeballs in different medications and non-stop appointments and side-effects. This past few months, the surgery and all the instructions for the FETs didn't help. ("Exercise" "No wait, don't exercise." "Ok, exercise, but not that kind of exercise.") The IF-related depression doesn't either.

In short, I have gained weight since taking estrogen, but I think it's more the IF than anything else. This whole thing SUCKS. Especially when all you're trying to do is lose the weight you've gained since being IF.

*TW* If it's any consolation, a friend of mine never lost weight during IF, but when she actually got pregnant, she only gained like 25lbs, and gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby. Since having the baby, my friend is now like 30lbs lighter than she was before she got pregnant. She'll even say now: "The pain of infertility made it so extra hard to take care of myself." Her story keeps me going.

*end TW*

@wishing-and-hoping - I'm sorry about the BFN.

Hoping it's just too early.

@ChristenMA83 - Keeping FX for you! You're so close to beta!

@Bababatty - Ugh. Just ugh. Thinking of you. Hoping the new job works out, and that qualifying for leave is super fast!

@mirabelle33 - I had a couple of cysts during my clomid cycles. They sucked, I cried. But they resolved within a cycle, luckily. Hoping yours resolve fast, or that you get pregnant next week and don't have to worry. And, of course - Happy Belated Birthday!!

@emmasemm - so much waiting! Ugh! Hoping your garden is a welcome distraction, and that you get the karyotyping results soon!

AFM: Had my ERA over the weekend, now waiting for results and to get started on my next cycle, which will be FET #3. I have mixed feelings, as usual. On the one hand, I want the whole thing to be over and to fast-forward through all of it. On the other hand, I am totally dreading the FET. If it fails, I mean, I don't know how I will go on.

I'm getting frustrated with my doctors. I know they're providing good advice, but I'm impatient. (So, I guess, not what you want in a "patient" at all, haha.) I've been doing everything they asked the whole time, and I'm still not pregnant. I've been undergoing treatments for a year and a half now, and we'd been trying for a whole year before that. I'm 33 and have unexplained infertility. My RE is not so bad, but one of the other doctors said something about how "transferring 2 embryos is a bad idea" in such a patronizing, self-righteous tone, and I almost snapped at him. I just thought: "If you're so f*cking good at your job, and your advice is so great, then how come I'm not pregnant already? It's time to take matters into my own hands, a**h*le."

Luckily, I did not say that out loud, though I might have, if he weren't inserting a tube through my cervix.

If I'm honest, that's probably why I've been considering transferring 2 embryos and not one: because I'm impatient, and because I want to take matters into my own hands. Also because I'm CERTAIN that not both will take - at best, one will take, and I just want the one that's going to take to take sooner.

But then last night I read a story about a woman who lost her twins after a premature labour, and the description was so sad, and I think, really, I just can't do it. It'll be one at a time.

QOTW: extra chopsticks and take out menus. Mostly for Indian, Thai and sushi restaurants. Yum!

emmasemm · March 2018

@funkykey the “impatient patient” haha - they should make that a movie title!

***TW PG and loss***

I’m totally with you on wanting to take things into your own hands. In whatever way possible. Just to get an ounce of control back.
I’m three years and three IVF cycles down and at the start DH was very keen on transferring 2, but as we never got 2embies at a time it has not been an option so far. I had been on the fence, but after sharing with him a few of the twin disaster stories we are both very nervous of two right now. Also I’m pretty small (though also a bit soft around the edges with the IF weight gain) and generally am not straight forward medically and have to take a bucket load of supplements just to keep my own body within normal limits, so at the moment we really don’t think my body is able to handle carrying twins successfully. The only thing we talked about right now was if we ran out of money or had PGS mosaic/inconclusive embies, then 2 might be on the cards. But for us it’s so far hypothetical.
I know for you it’s a real world question and I’m sorry you have to deal with it.

mirabelle33 · March 2018

@Bababatty you must have posted yesterday while I was still typing and I didn't see your original post until now. I am so sorry you are struggling so much right now

I periodically burst into tears too, so you are not alone. I also see a therapist and while she does not specialize in IF, she is a great outlet for me and a really great listener for when I just need someone to hear me, you know? Sorry you are also facing a potentially long wait for treatment [[hugs]]. Thank you for the advice on estrogen priming. I'm not sure it will do any good to ask my OB (I'll give it a shot though), but it is definitely something to inquire about with the RE in May.

@emmasemm Thank you for mentioning blood work to see if the cyst is functional! I had no idea that was an option. I will definitely ask my doctor today. I'm so sorry for CD1

I know there is always some hope there when you're in between treatments, so sending [[hugs]]. So sorry as well for all the waiting. Hopefully the test results next week will give you some answers in the meantime. Glad you have things to keep you busy the next couple of weeks!

@BWhitta That sounds like an exciting distraction! I hope everything goes smoothly with the renovations

We will be spending 4 days in NYC by ourselves and then 6 days in western North Carolina with my parents. This is not where I grew up, but where my parents moved in "semi-retirement" after I moved to France. It's a nice place to visit, but it never quite feels like home. Anyway, still excited to see family and to meet my brother's gf for the first time.

@funkykey thank you! I really feel for you going into this next FET. I'm sure it is really hard to be hopeful and positive when you've been so disappointed in the past. I hope that you can find some peace before starting and that it results in a positive outcome

Also, I'm sure it doesn't help to feel frustrated with your doctors at a time like this. I don't have any experience with IVF (yet), so I can't give any advice about transferring 1 vs. 2 embryos, but it sounds like you've already done a lot of reflecting on it and are getting closer to your true feelings. Trust yourself

ChristenMA83 · March 2018

@bababatty ((hugs)) so sorry you're struggling. Bravo to you for taking active steps towards your health and wellbeing and seeing your therapist.

@funkykey I can imagine the multiple questions is difficult. Good luck to you as you go into this next FET.

@mirabelle33 happy belated birthday!

funkykey · March 2018

Thanks guys.

@emmasemm - I really wish I could be more in control of this whole situation. My clinic is human, they've made some mistakes. Tiny little things, like scheduling something on the wrong day, or not following up as they should. I'm on them and I always ask questions, but the long and short of it is now, I feel very much like I'm more capable and thorough than the average person handling my file. I care so much more.

And I have a good clinic, they do well... None of the mistakes they've made would have affected my outcomes. At the worst, it might have just meant that my treatments will take an extra 1-2 months longer than they would have otherwise.

I'm just so sad at the turn my life has taken, what this has meant for my hopes, dreams, and the future I've been working towards, and even the toll this has taken on my day-to-day happiness and relationships. At this point, even one less month of suffering would seem like a huge win.

BWhitta · March 2018

@funkykey goodness. You said that so well...broke my heart a little bit. I am so sad at the turn our lives have taken, too. I always think about my mom, because she went through this, too. *TW* She struggled to get pregnant and had a few losses. And we grew up hearing those stories, but she was never emotional about it. Now, part of that is just my mom’s personality. But I mean she went through a late term miscarriage and we grew up hearing that story and she always just told it like it was no big deal. I kind of get that now, I’m so used to telling my stories too, you know? But, I also think it’s just easier for her to talk about because it’s 36 years later, she’s got three (awesome) kids and 4 beautiful grandchildren and she’s so far removed from it now. So, sometimes it helps me to just sort of transport myself to 30 years in the future. I don’t know when my children are going to come but I KNOW that they will no matter what...I don’t know what our family will look like but I know we’re going to make that happen. And I know that 30 years from now I’ll be able to look back and see that it makes sense. We live in a cycle to cycle, month to month world right now...but it won’t always be this way. Whenever I am struggling and venting to my good friend she always says “this is just a season...”.

Anyway, sometimes that helps me. I hope it helps you

funkykey · March 2018

Oh @BWhitta that's so sweet!

Yeah, on a good day, I definitely feel like this is just a phase. Everyone who actually ends up with a baby says it's worth it, that they'd do it again, that in the future, when you have your family, it will feel like it was hard, but that it was just a trying time and that you made it through. So I totally get it.

Except, you know, that's not how it works out for everyone. And some days, I have my doubts that it will work out for me. But like I've said to my H 100 times - you can only be brave when there is something to fear.

Sometimes I like quotes like this to help me through:

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/0j/22zwve96bl3p.png

It's a little cheesy, but I think the cheese appeals to me a lot the higher my estrogen is.

emmasemm · March 2018

@bwhitta beautifully written.
***TW***
My mother also had several early second tri MCs in between my brother and my sister. It ended up being 7 years between them. It really affected her for many years but like you say with the distance now she just makes the odd whimsical reference to how hard they tried for my sister.
I really hope we can all look back in 30years like you say. Maybe we will need a grandmother bump group lol!
***end TW***

@funkykey It’s good that you have a good clinic. From someone who found a major error in one cycle which absolutely did change an outcome, be thankful for them but also you’re absolutely right to keep on top of them. And time does also count. If I hear “it’s just another month” as in “what are you so upset about” I’m likely to get some hulk rage with whichever doctor or nurse says it to me. The longer the stress and worry and treatment goes on, the more toll this takes on so many areas of life. Big hugs to you.

wishing-and-hoping · March 2018

@funkykey I am so there with you. Mourning the loss of what I thought my life would be at this point is sometimes the hardest part. And the not knowing what the future holds, knowing there are no guarantees.

@BWhitta the 30 years down the road thing is a really good perspective. I have trouble seeing that far down the line most of the time, I think partly because the patterns of IF force you to live month-to-month, cycle-to-cycle, and like @funkykey said - just having one less month of this would be incredible.

I'm staring down yet another month, just got my 14dpIUI BFN. 18 months with 16 active cycles of trying, 15 BFNs and a CP... I am tired of this. I know many have tried longer and faced incredible loss, and I can only imagine the pain and the perseverance.

emmasemm · March 2018

@wishing-and-hoping so sorry for the BFN

funkykey · March 2018

@emmasemm - haha, a grandmother bump group.

@wishing-and-hoping - I'm so sorry.

This sucks so much.

mirabelle33 · March 2018

@wishing-and-hoping I'm so sorry

Sending all the {{hugs}}

ChristenMA83 · March 2018

@wishing-and-hoping sorry for another month gone by

mrsjcrane · March 2018

Hey all! I'm at like maybe 10 DPO, 2nd cycle on my current protocol which is femara with trigger shot plus support shot. I'm all crampy the last couple of days like I'm about to start my period. I know I'm not out until it truly starts but after two years of trying, I'm not very optimistic. I'm just ready for this cycle to be over....the waiting game is miserable sometimes. Not sure if it's the hormones, the weather, or what, but my mood has really been down this last week.
*TW* It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant. I'm even planning two showers for this summer. I'm so over it. *End TW*

I know all of you are in the same boat. Likely trying for even longer than me perhaps. I'm just growing so weary in the process, but I can bear the thought of taking a break. I suppose I'll just grin and bear it.

Anyways, this cycle I decided to "test out" the support shot, just to see how long it took me to get it out of my system....and it never showed a true positive. I maybe had a positive one day if I looked really hard. Anybody else not had a positive after a trigger shot?!?! I asked the nurse about it at my progesterone check and of course, she didn't have an answer.

emmasemm · March 2018

@mrsjcrane so sorry you’re finding this TWW tough. I find the medicated ones or ones with intervention much tougher than when we try alone. I think we just have higher expectations with medicated ones, and of course you know more clearly when you ovulated, or had an IUI or transfer.

I only ever had v v v faint positives when testing it trigger shots. I would suggest to ask your RE and maybe they will increase your dose.

mirabelle33 · March 2018

@mrsjcrane sorry you're having an especially difficult TWW.

I've never had the courage to test out the trigger shot (I think seeing a false positive would really mess with my head), but I've read that it can vary from woman to woman depending on how fast their metabolism is. You're getting HCG booster shots, right? Did you test after those too? Because I would think they would also give a (false) +HPT. You may want to speak to your doctor about it and like @emmasemm said, maybe they will increase your dose.

AFM, CD1 over here and it's not pretty. Another 3-week cycle and I'm just so tired of AF! I swear I have some kind of trauma from it coming so frequently and every time I went into our bathroom the last couple of days, I felt waves of anxiety and like I was playing Russian roulette. I started spotting last night around 9pm and was up half the night crying. Anyway, when I saw my OB last week to ask about the cyst, she said to call if I got my period and she would do a day 3 scan to check if it's still there. Ok, fine. So I called this morning, obviously upset after the night I had, and the secretary was just so unnecessarily rude to me. This is nothing new and when DH has come to an appointment with me, even he has commented on the awful way she speaks to patients. I got off the phone and something in me just snapped. Last night, DH and I were talking about everything and he mentioned that it doesn't sound like I trust my doctor anymore. It made me realize that he's right and I haven't trusted her since January when we had a disagreement about something that happened during the previous two cycles. Plus I just have this gut feeling that she is missing something. Then having to deal with her secretary again this morning made me question whether I would even want to continue with her as an OB if/when I do get pregnant. So I looked up the other OBGYN in our city who speaks English (the US Embassy provides a list) and made an appointment with her for when we get back from our vacation. I plan to tell her that I'm there for a second opinion, but I won't be asking for any treatment since I'm going to the RE in May. It's really more of a "pre-interview" for a future OB. What do you guys think? Was this a rash decision and should I cancel the appointment?

ETA grammar

ChristenMA83 · March 2018

@mirabelle33 I think a second opinion/interview is a great idea. I think the doctor patient relationship is so important and if you don't feel comfortable then it's time to move on.

BWhitta · March 2018

@mirabelle33 NO that does not sound rash. I’m so sorry you had such a hard couple days. Goodness, I am the queen of ignoring bad feelings like that bc I just hate confrontation and don’t want to be rude but I had a similar experience with our last RE where something just snapped and I was like I CANNOT GO BACK TO THAT MAN. And as y’all know I am so much happier at my new RE, sometimes I think we have a little “white coat syndrome” and will put up with things we shouldn’t have to just because they’re doctors. But my husband is really good at reminding me that WE are paying him, they are working for us. It’s hard to remember that they’re running a business, but I think that’s why it’s so refreshing when you find someone who treats you like a human being and not like a specimen or something. I think that’s why I prefer younger doctors, too, like they haven’t become jaded yet. *TW My OB is a young new guy who just happened to be on call when we found out we’d lost our 12 week pregnancy and he is the only OB I will go to now, it was the first time I had been treated like an actual person and every time I’ve seen him since he knows my name and remembers my story. I feel like people like that woman who was rude to you act like they are gate keepers to these magical healers, haha.

@emmasemm Haha I think we need a new board we can graduate to that we’ll keep going until we’re grandmothers

the “30 years later” board

@wishing-and-hoping I’m so sorry. I totally get just feeling tired. We’ve been trying for 27 months now, but I couldn’t even tell you how many active cycles...nothing close to the ratio you’ve got going on. It is a battle.

mirabelle33 · March 2018

@ChristenMA83 thanks for your input! Hoping your beta went well yesterday

@BWhitta THANK YOU. That is exactly how I have been handling this situation from the beginning when I felt something was wrong, but just followed doctor's orders because I didn't want to come off as an ugly American. It's funny because in the US I would have no problem advocating for myself and being aggressive if necessary, but living in a different country and culture, I find myself being much more meek and timid about so many things. Something I need to work on. I'm really hoping for a good connection with this other OB and especially the RE in May. Actually I chose the RE specifically because she is young! My current OB is in her 50s and I'm really starting to think her approach is outdated. Whenever I bring up my short LP, she always says that if the ovulation is good, then there should be no problem. End of story. And yes to the gatekeeper comment! That is the perfect way to describe this woman. Last week I asked her if I could make an appointment for my annual exam since it's been over a year and she said "oh no, you are a special case. You need to ask the doctor about that the next time you see her." What? Now I can't even make an appointment through you for my annual exam??? It's always a battle with this woman. Sigh.

ChristenMA83 · March 2018

@mirabelle33 thanks for asking. My beta was positive at 97, the lower number concerns me a little bit. We have second beta Wednesday morning...I'll feel more confident that it's real if that comes back good.

wishing-and-hoping · March 2018

@ChristenMA83 Not sure how many days past LMP you are but I would be pumped about 97, that sounds great! Lots of positive, sticky vibes for you on Wednesday!

BWhitta · March 2018

@ChristenMA83 ditto, that sounds like a great number to me! FX!!!!!

@mirabelle33 I would feel uncomfortable in another country too, their customs and social norms are different (not to mention the healthcare system works completely differently) but that would drive me up the wall! I forgot to comment on your trip again, that sounds so fun! I went to school up in the NW area of South Carolina and love it up there! And NYCCCC is my fav, haha, I had never been until a couple years ago. My best friend lives in the city and my husbands new job allows us to go up there a lot because his main office is in the city so I’ve actually been able to go several times over the last couple years which has been so fun. She actually just had a baby so we are planning to go up there soon, too!

mirabelle33 · April 2018

@ChristenMA83 Aw that number sounds good to me too! But I understand why you're being cautious until the second beta on Wednesday. Fx for you and sending all the positive, sticky vibes!!

@BWhitta I don't really know that area of the country very well since I've only visited my parents a handful of times, but they did mention going to Greenville for a day trip, so looking forward to exploring it a bit more this time. As for NYC ... it's my all-time favorite city. I have been lucky enough to visit many times and spent one summer there in grad school as an intern. I was planning to move there eventually, but then I met DH and ended up moving to France instead! It's still a dream of mine though

That's so great that you get to go frequently for your husband's work and to visit your best friend!

BWhitta · April 2018

@mirabelle33 that’s where I went to school! Shoot, edited because I put in my own emoji and it erased everything, haha. Anyway we just went to a wedding there a couple months ago and it has changed so much since I graduated but it’s an awesome city. Make sure to go to Coffee Underground for breakfast and go to the Reedy River falls park

meganttc3 · April 2018

Hi ladies. I just wanted to let y'all know I'm here lurking and thinking about each of y'all....
I had my HSG and the doc said everything looked great. He ran tons of test and the only thing off was my vitamin D but I work night shift and don't get much sun so that is expected.
I hate that they still can't find a reason for the IF. We have been ttc for 6 years and my PCOS has been well controlled for at least half of that.
I meet with the RE again on April 11th to find out what our plan is. So I'm just sitting around waiting and trying to keep not get depressed. I'm still eating keto and have lost 10 pounds in 5 weeks so I'm happy with that at least.

mirabelle33 · April 2018

@BWhitta how funny! We will definitely check those places out if we end up visiting. Thank you for the tips!!

@meganttc sorry you're having a difficult time and feeling so frustrated without a firm diagnosis. I hope the time until April 11th passes quickly and that your RE will have a great game plan for you guys going forward. {{hugs}}

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