TW Tuesday 3/27 — The Bump
September 2018 Moms

TW Tuesday 3/27

Who or what is a TW in your life today?

Re: TW Tuesday 3/27

  • Me. We have two weeks until closing and I have done nothing. Not a damn thing. I need to get a survey, fencing estimates and on the schedule, painting estimates for jobs in current and new house, mover estimates and scheduled, utilities set up scheduled, etc. etc. etc. Those are just the things I need to arrange with other people. Forget all the things I need to do myself like sorting, packing, goodwill’ing, etc. for the whole darn house. I don’t wanna. So much. 
  • @spottedginger Ah, thank you for reminding me why we're going to make our little townhouse work for a few more years. Moving can be such a pain. 

    My cat is my TW today. I love her. She's feisty and beautiful. But lately she's CLINGY. OMG so clingy. And only to me. And her "meow" for attention sounds just like a toddler whining. Just grates my nerves while I'm trying to get work done. 

    Me: 28   H:30
    TTC #1 Since 5/17
    BFP 7/14/17 - CP
    RE Dx: MFI, Unilateral Tubal Blockage
    12/17 - Clomid + TI
    BFP 12/22/17 - EDD 9/3/18
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  • The client. I asked for due dates on something at the end of February and no one could be bothered to give me them. I just got an email saying they need the files I asked about within the next week. Good think I started them on my own without knowing the due dates!! They always do this to us!! Friday is a holiday and next week is month-end. Thanks for the short noticed assholes. Guess I'm not taking Thursday off like I was hoping.
    MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
    DS born 9/13/16
    BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
  • @DanyTargaryen Ugh I hate clients like that! The staffing issue I'm having this week is really because the client waited until the last minute to tell me they need the furniture picked up. They close on Friday so it needs to get out but it's spring break for a lot of my movers.  :s It's so agitating when other people's lack of organization messes up your schedule. 

    Me: 28   H:30
    TTC #1 Since 5/17
    BFP 7/14/17 - CP
    RE Dx: MFI, Unilateral Tubal Blockage
    12/17 - Clomid + TI
    BFP 12/22/17 - EDD 9/3/18
  • My sisinlaw- dh’s sister. She texted both dh and I before 8am, which she knows is a bad idea, she goes to bed at like 8pm and is up at like 5, we (including dd) go to bed after 10pm and dd often sleeps till 8. I’m rarely caffienated by 8 and not worth interacting with. 

    She sent one sentence “its dads birthday”...we know this, we have never forgotten or left uncelebrated a family member’s birthday. This year fil suggested that instead of getting together 8x a year for the adult bdays we would do weekend projects at each house- put a roof on fil’s camp, build out my mud room, remodel other sil’s kitchen cabinet setup, etc. they are a handy family, and work fairly well together. 

    This is the first bday going “uncelebrated” which is what fil always says he wants anyways. She didn’t text the other brother and wife (they are on vacation), just me and dh... so apparently not doing anything is not actually acceptable to her? Dh texted w her, I ignored it, she wasn’t any more clear on her intentions w him. Just said she’s doing dinner w him, if we want w can go too. 

    Maybe I’m just hormonal, but I find this annoying. There’s more to the story of fil but it’d take pages to explain. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"

    bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis

    bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"

    **Psalm 139:16**

  • Managing toddler behaviors is a TW. DS has been hitting/kicking my dogs and I don't know what to do. Ugh, I try to ignore as much as possible so he doesn't get a reaction, but I can't in good faith let him continue when it means he's going to get bit. I also can't punish my dogs since it's not fair to them. This is some hard stuff ladies. SOS?

    Also, I'm a TW for staying up later than I should and then being so freaking tired in the mornings. Such a bad cycle.

  • @nlc8424 What kind of dogs?
  • @Redpuma119 two labs, one is super tolerant of all of his shenanigans but the other one isn't so much. But there's only so many times a dog can get hit with a toy car without reacting... I took the car away last night and moved him into another room to try to diffuse the situation. I feel like my efforts are futile currently.

  • @nlc8424 I might get flamed for this.. but maybe let your DS learn by getting bit? We grew up with a lab and she would give us warnings. Like put her mouth on us but not bite down. I know that sounds mean, but maybe him getting startled will help him learn? Or will the dogs "warn" you? If I pretend to go after one of my dogs, the other one will usually grab my hand with their mouth, but not hurt me. I wonder if your dog did that if you could play it up for your DS? That's so hard because I would have a hard time getting mad at the dogs too, while also not wanting anyone to get bit.
  • @Redpuma119 no flames from me. I've considered it. My older girl (8) is super sweet and play growls all the time, she only gets aggressive toward strangers and that is the only time she will even act like biting. I'm not sure if I can get her to play like that or not, and I'm thinking DS will probably laugh. My younger one (5ish) is pretty intimidated by DS (loud noises, unpredictable movement, protective over me) and will absolutely snap at him, but I don't actually know how hard he would bite. He definitely gives warnings, it's just hard for me to let it play out. I'm terrified of DS getting bit and needing stitches since I don't have a local peds unit at the hospital close by. I'm sure an ER could handle it, but that's a bit stressful to deal with (understatement haha). Also, my mind tends to jump to the worst possible outcome if you didn't notice lol. Thank you for your input!

  • @nlc8424 We have similar issues. Our dog is pretty tolerant, but there’s only so much getting poked in the face or having her tail pulled that she’ll put up with. She growled at him a few times, but mostly just leaves to go hide in her crate when it gets too much. We don’t ignore it ever, as soon as he starts he gets a firm no and is removed. We treat it the same as if he were hitting or biting a person. It won’t be tolerated. So far he doesn’t seem to be doing it as attention seeking behavior. 
  • @nlc8424 So sorry to hear about your toddler with the dogs! That's a tough situation. Does he like books? Could you find some that model good child with dog behavior? Also, has he been hitting/kicking from anger or because he thinks it's funny? In the two year old room I would tell the kids we don't hit people/animals but if they're frustrated there was a cozy corner they were more than welcome to go to and hit the pillows if they wanted. That helped some kids knowing there was an appropriate place to do those actions. 

    Me: 28   H:30
    TTC #1 Since 5/17
    BFP 7/14/17 - CP
    RE Dx: MFI, Unilateral Tubal Blockage
    12/17 - Clomid + TI
    BFP 12/22/17 - EDD 9/3/18
  • @nlc8424 while I agree that having the dog snap at him might scare him into stopping, it's a terrible idea. If your dog does bite him and broke the skin he is at risk for infection. If he gets bit and needs medical attention the medical staff will likely report your dog for biting in which case police/animal control will get involved. If your dog is up to date on rabies vaccines then you can quarantine the dog at home otherwise you will likely have to pay for a 10 day quarantine. You will also have to have three rabies checks from a vet to verify that your dog doesn't have rabies (even if they are current on vaccinations). It's really a big pain and expense and I don't think it's fair to you or the dog to have to deal with it.

    *This is how Wisconsin works, I don't know the laws in your state
  • My TW? My older, little dog. Trying to get my...miniature minion that sprang from my go down for nap and he starts barking and running around the house, causing our huge puppy to emulate. 

    Either way, DS is now sleeping, but seriously, was that necessary you jerk?!
    Me: 31
    DH: 30
    Married 7/18/15
    1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
    Team green turned BLUE!
    BFP 1/1/18, due 9/7/18 Team Green

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @SkilledSailor I think he does it for attention and also because he thinks it's funny.  There's no frustration typically involved with that particular situation. The stretch between after dinner and before bed can be brutal, we try to get him to play as much as possible to get his energy out. But it's the kind of borderline overtired crazy energy and attitude that tends to come out at that time of day. I'm going to look on Amazon for books like "Hands are not for hitting" to try to get the message across.

  • @EErin86 thank you for that information I appreciate it! I would have a really really hard time letting it happen without intervening in the first place, but my mind didn't even cover the consequences as a dog owner and to my dog himself. I wouldn't be surprised if there was similar legislature in place where I live.

  • @nlc8424 has he ever had a time out for the behavior? Granted DD has only tried to be annoying to our dogs a few times but we immediately put her on time out and made her say sorry to the dogs after the time out. She was all teary but the message got through.
  • @nlc8424 Not flaming, just dropping in my personal experience. No judgement, I promise.

    While you may not want to give your kid the attention he is trying to illicit from hitting and kicking the dogs, it would probably be in everyone's (dogs included) best interest to really emphasize soft touches and to keep doing things like taking toys and time outs or something to give him consequences. Also see if you can redirect him to a more appropriate way to express frustration or something. Do they have a xylophone? We had a phase where all "hitting" was directed towards the xylophone.

     And I agree about treating it like you would if they were hitting/throwing things/biting a person.

    This being said, I know this doesn't always work. Some kids just keep pushing and it just feels futile. My kid can be that kid. Hell, in the dog biting scenario she is definitely that kid. She ended up getting bitten on the face even after I tried everything to get her to stop her behavior.

    Ultimately my kid has scars on her face and a fear of dogs.

    ***TW for Dog Bite story***

    DD would not stop trying to cuddle my stepdad's dog. She would be all over him. Occasionally she would smack him too but more often it was over the top cuddling or touching his face. It was an amount of attention that a dog should not have to tolerate.

    So, I spent a good portion of my time saying "DD, do not lay on B. He does not like it." and "You do not like it when people grab your face. You need to stop." And just having general consequences for her. Treated any mistreatment of a dog like she had done it to a person.

    On the day she got bitten, it was just she and I at my mom's house (We were in the process of moving). I tried to keep an eye on her but you know, sometimes you just have to use the bathroom and your kid just won't stay with you.

    So I'm using the bathroom when I hear a snarl and then DD starts screaming. I run back in the room to see my daughter grabbing her face.

    Cue a trip to the local MedExpress and then a two hour trip to the closest children's ER because no one else wants the stress of stitching a child's face.

    She ended up with stitches because it was her face. Had it been on her body, they tend to leave those open apparently. She has a scar through her eyebrow and across her forehead. We are honestly very lucky that it wasn't a fraction of an inch lower or she could have lost her eye.

    It wasn't a continued attack. This dog hadn't bitten anyone before that. Calmest, sweetest dog. It was a quick snap.

    So, the stitches were all around traumatizing for her. She still talks about it and she'll usually cry all over again. We also had a hell of a time getting her to take her antibiotics. She is also now extremely afraid of dogs.

    As far as what happened to the dog, it got reported to the health department and animal control. The hospital has to do that. The dog ends up with a record. Because he was up to date on his vaccines we got a break on a lot of additional shots. Our state doesn't make the dog do an additional quarantine if they are strictly an indoor dog and you can provide vet records to prove vaccination. B still lives with my mom and stepdad. He gets put away whenever small children visit.

    I just really do not want you to have to go through that.
  • @nlc8424 I think you've got the right ideas in your last post: gentle touching, separation, etc. Never ignore. You never know what could trigger a dog to get aggressive, no matter how much you think you know them. My daughter is nearly 3, so she should know better and immediately gets a time out if she hits or kicks our dog and has to say sorry to the dog. Think of it this way, how would you discipline your son if he hit a kid? Do the same discipline. 
  • I wanted to chime in here, since I was the one that suggested she let her child get bit. I was speaking from my experience, where our dogs have never "bitten" aggressively, and have never drawn blood. They have only ever given a warning. In my experiences, with my dogs, that made total sense.. and with my DSD, it has done the trick. I see now that others have had separate, and traumatizing experiences, that I had not considered. My intentions were not to have to have @nlc8424 ;have to defend that statement, especially since it was me who made it.   So I guess I'm the TW today ;) 
  • No worries @Redpuma119 I think there are some very gentle breeds that you can do this with and they have the right personality where you can demo the undesired behavior and consequence. It takes a lot to offend me, and I know all of these ladies were just trying to help out. Although challenging at times, it's valuable to get so many different opinions and experiences in one place.

  • @Redpuma119 No worries. I just wanted to chime in with my experience as well. I'll admit I'm pretty raw about the dog bite still (happened less than a year ago).
  • @jhjocelyn thanks I do like that idea. Thankfully we haven't had any issues over the last couple of days but I know it'll return at some point. Interesting strategy, could be worth a try!

  • @jhjocelyn oooh I like that idea too. Thanks! 
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