I’m starting to plan DS’s birthday party. He turns 2 in June and I know I’m not going to be on top of it once we have a newborn too. I think we are doing dinosaur theme like I did for DD’s second birthday.
@2589 TBH, part of my getting such an early start was due to amazing Target toy clearance (ex: I got the Podular Troll Tree for $12.) I justified it by rationalizing that come late June, I am so not going to feel like shopping AT ALL.
Shopping early is smart, especially if you find a deal! I was at Target after Christmas and found this adorable soft small baby doll for 70% off. I definitely bought if to give this little one (yes, the one that's not born yet...lol). I figured it would be perfect for a 6 month old next Christmas. I did hide it from the hubby though because he would think its crazy
+1 to early shopping! Target had a Leap Frog convertible floor to stand up table with lights and sounds on sale for $20 last week that I ordered for a Christmas present for the baby!
Work has had me MIA on here in a while, so I'm behind. Going back to Easter... we put Cheerios or puffs in some of the plastic eggs to give it the shake/rattle aspect when DS1 and DS2 were pretty young.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
So last night DD wanted to sleep back in her crib. She calmly asked, got her pillow and baby, and let me lift her up and put her in. She slept there for 4 hours before calling to get out. (She probably could if she tried, but I think we scared her the night we caught her trying 6 months ago, so she just waits)
Felt weirdly guilty guys. Tried to stay calm, saying I was letting her self soothe, and it is normal when going through a lot of changes, that they get nostalgic (aka regress) and if I treat it as no big deal, she will be okay. BUT I WAS TORN!!!!
At 11:30 am, she woke up wanting to snuggle. And I was hit with the dreaded "Our cat doesn't live with us any more" statement. So we talked about it again. She has been in transition to the Pre school room this past week, her cat has died, her daddy is only home to put her to bed 3 nights a week, and sometimes she wakes up and Mommy is asleep on the couch or the basement. We did a good long snuggle and then had cereal adn a 1:00 am showing of Paw Patrol because daddy was coming home!!!
I was relieved to have her go back to her big girl bed, and tell daddy that baby brother would sleep in the nursery. So perhaps all my worries were for naught?
STM+ - Have you ever dealt with the "nostalgia" phase? How did you handle it?
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
@rnielsen321 Aww. Sounds like she's hit a little bit of a rough patch. Poor baby. I think as long as you let her know that this will not become a routine thing, there's no harm in occasionally indulging her. Just keep in mind, the more you give in, the more she will probably push that angle; I speak from experience. I thought after she did this with DS1 that DD was done, but she's almost 4 and the impending arrival of DS2 is sparking some regression, too: I've caught her sucking on his pacifiers even though she never took one before, she had a mild potty regression a few months back, and every now and then she wants to be rocked and talks in a baby voice. I don't think it's uncommon for kids to go through this during periods of adjustment, and it sounds like your daughter has a lot going on in her world right now. Try not to feel guilty for giving in. I indulge DD periodically, but when I do I also reminder her that I am really going to need her help when the baby comes, and that I am so glad she was (and always will be) my first baby and is now a big girl and will be able to help. How is she doing with the cat situation, btw?
@kfren DD is doing better than her Mom at this point! I am still way devastated. Seriously... going to take a while for me on the cat situation.
Thanks for the words of wisdom. We are having conversations about what is for baby brother, and where is DD's space.
And we focus on her being helpful anyway... setting the table, watering plants, helping to cook and bake, making the beds, doing laundry, self dressing, etc. in her day to day life. It is a big motivator for her. So hoping this will continue. And the regression may settle once she is integrated into PreSchool room, from the toddler room.
We aren't pushing potty training, as a) too facking cold (wet snow pants, ICK) b) she hasn't seemed THAT interested and c) don't want to force too much change all at once. Any suggestions on that front? I'd like to let her wander around with no underpants on, but right now she FREAKS if she tiddles without a diaper on.
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
@rnielsen321 FX that once she eases into her new routine, she'll get past the regression!
As for potty training, I didn't push it at all. I gotthis bookand this book and read them to her a couple times a week (more when she started requesting them.) When I was home with her, I'd have her come sit on the potty while I went, which led to the (mostly) open-door policy (DH does everything sitting down and makes DD leave when he's done) we have now. Also, a sticker chart was pretty helpful; she got a sticker every time she sat down and really tried, and a sticker if she actually went. After 10 stickers, she got a treat (small piece of candy or extra tv time.) Maybe let her wander around sans bottoms (like a naked butt, as DD likes to say) but ask her every 15/20 minutes or so to try going potty. Good luck!
you guys are all so dang organized! My son turns 5 in 3 weeks and I have absolutely NOTHING planned for him. We haven't set a birthday party for him yet. I haven't thought about gifts yet. I literally have nothing other than knowing it's his birthday planned for him.
@austenista I used Luvs one time with DD when she was little and I'm going to be the special snowflake here that hated them. Not so much because of how they performed, but the smell! I don't know if they have gotten rid of the smell they pump into those diapers or not, but I could not handle it. I'm very sensitive to artificial smells though so it is probably just me. We ended up giving away half a box of diapers because DH and I both felt that way about their smell. It's a bummer because the price is really good on those diapers!
I am back after a week plus hiatus. My FIL passed away on Monday and it was a rough week. We are busy every weekend from now until I think the 2nd weekend in May. I just want to sleep and have a lazy day.
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Mama to a wonderful DD - Sep 2015, Wife to my DH since 2011, 2 dogs, a cat, and hoping to add No. 2 in May/June 2018. Canadian. 5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD. 3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
@meg95995 We are okay. He has been ill for the past 6 months or so. Lots of pain at the end and barely able to breathe so we know this is the best thing, however my MIL is hurting and we can't do much to help her. Before Halloween it was in good health. We worked on a farm. Very physical and was in good shape. It was a shock on how fast he went down hill. He was 78 years old though.
@Xtabbikatx so sorry for your loss. Thoughts with you and your SO as you work through this.
I know now not all families are the same and that babies bring change that can also bring stress — but the birth of DD brought back so much of the light that DH’s family lost with the death of his father. She and my MIL adore each other, and MIL is a caregiver through and through. I don’t know how to properly convey it, because it’s certainly not the baby’s job or your obligation to offer your child for that purpose, but I hope the addition and the joy your LO brings can help your MIL heal.
eta This is also a very personal decision, but the morning after DD was born, DH and I took a little walk (I’d had a csection and was dying to get up ASAP) to the nurse’s station and left DD with MIL for about 15 min. MIL held DD and told her about her grandfather. It was very meaningful to her.
@pupsicle23, That is very sweet. I am hoping that our daughter will help her heal. I don't know if she will be coming to the hospital or not. I don't think we have officially invited her. I will talk to DH about that. I know I will be having a c-section.
So...since my son is only 18 months, most days I feel like I remember the newborn phase really well. But last night I was transferring all the videos on my phone to my computer and watched a bunch of clips of DS from when he was teeny tiny. Oh my gosh!!! My heart almost exploded...and there were tears He was so sweet with his little coos and expressions. Apparently my memory isn't as clear as I think. But it makes me so excited to meet this new LO.
Also, it was just 11 months ago he was barely starting to army crawl and now he runs everywhere. All those other parents were right! It goes so fast haha...
Okay, excuse this post which is a whole bunch of, "Duh!." We all know tiny babies are cute and they grow up fast. I'm just being super sappy and nostalgic over here
@katelynrae86 It's been 5 years since we've had a tiny baby in our house and I'm feeling the same way! I've gone back through my instagram to see my tiny little baby boy and my heart just melts and is so excited to meet this little girl in a few months. But at the same time......HOLY COW WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MONTHS?!?!?
@katelynrae86 right there with you with my 16mo. It’s unbelievable how fast it all goes now looking back. He’s such a big boy now! I did the same thing a while back looking back at all my photos and videos, getting so excited to have another squishy baby again. I think because it’s been so close I do remember a lot. But I kept my friends 8mo the other day and it was a lot like having to recall a learned skill. The memory was there but I had to dig some for it.
My youngest is 3.5 and I feel like the newborn stage was AGES ago. My BFF has a newborn (one month) and will be coming to visit this Saturday. I can't wait to hold her and see my kids' reactions when they realize how small the new baby will be. It's a good thing I'm pregnant, because the baby fever is real.
First Son - born 2013
Second Son - born 2014 - Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and Double Outlet Right Ventricle (DORV). First open heart surgery at 5 days old. He's had 3 open heart surgeries and several other procedures and is currently doing amazing. Third Son - due June 9, 2018
so agree. DS is almost 5and a half. anytime an old video pops up on my fb memories or timehop, I just watch it.. then look over at him... like wow!
Can I also add that I'm starting to get that panic of 'omgosh, how am I going to love another little man as much as him?!' feeling. And let me add, its not the guilty 'theres no way i can' feeling. Its an 'omg. my heart might seriously explode' feeling cause I already know i'll love them both the same exact way. I first had that feeling when I got my first positive --TW-- with our first loss--END TW-- after that, I wanted a second so bad that I never felt that again. But its resurfaced. waaaaahh pregnancy hormones!
me:35 DH:34 DS: born oct 2012 TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16 BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17 BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18 fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
@catlady1215 I'm having that feeling too. But I'm also getting increasingly scared that DS is going to think we are somehow replacing him or not going to love him as much. So I keep trying to tell him how special he is, how we are going to love him just as much when the baby is here, etc. He just looks at me like I'm crazy.
@marcus7676 same. I worry constantly that he's not going to get the attention he needs or that I'm not going to be enough to adequately mom two the way I have mommed one. I'm sure I'll do just fine. People have more than one kid all the time and it's fine and everyone is cared for and loved. I do worry though about the loss of it being just the two of us all day and how that will effect him (probably not at all, and I'm just being nuts).
On another note, as I struggled to get everything out the door and to the car yesterday, I am now more concerned with how I'm going to get around with two. I guess my days of one trip to the car when I'm by myself are numbered. I can't imagine lugging a toddler and a carseat plus paraphernalia in one go, and also it's probably unrealistic to even try.
@Austenista I sometimes struggle carrying just DS1 (who is very close to weighing 40 lbs.) When practical, I've started making DS1 walk, when I normally wouldn't. The key in his case is to find something that will immediately get and keep his attention so he doesn't wander off-course. I figure if I can kind of train him now, maybe it will be easier in the future.
@catlady1215@marcus7676 and @Austenista MH is an only child and even when we were only talking about having a second he would tell me he couldn't imagine loving 2 kids. I told him every parent has a favorite (if they admit it or not, and each kid is just loved differently). He's started to freak out again- and has confided that he loves being a dad to a daughter so much that he isn't excited at having a boy this time (he was actually slightly disappointed). I just know their personalities will be different, so I'll love them different- which helps me not feel overwhelmed by it all. I'm also pretty sure for the next 2 years I'll love the one that slept the best the night before the most (I'm kidding- sort of).
Our DD is only 15 months so there is nothing we can do or say to prepare her for her little brothers arrival- but that means I don't worry that she will worry that we don't love her as much now. She will never remember a time when it was just the three of us (which sounds sad as I type it, but I don't feel sad about it). I do feel sad that she won't be my baby anymore... she's still so tiny (41% for height- just a little peanut really). How is she going to be the big sibling?
@kfren we bought a house in November with a detached garage. Very pretty aesthetically and different, but the reality sets in when you're lugging lunch, everything you bought, and kids back from the garage. I'm trying to let DS walk more too. He's a runner though and will take off down the driveway if I've not got ahold of him.
Re: STM+ Check In [March]
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Felt weirdly guilty guys. Tried to stay calm, saying I was letting her self soothe, and it is normal when going through a lot of changes, that they get nostalgic (aka regress) and if I treat it as no big deal, she will be okay. BUT I WAS TORN!!!!
At 11:30 am, she woke up wanting to snuggle. And I was hit with the dreaded "Our cat doesn't live with us any more" statement. So we talked about it again. She has been in transition to the Pre school room this past week, her cat has died, her daddy is only home to put her to bed 3 nights a week, and sometimes she wakes up and Mommy is asleep on the couch or the basement. We did a good long snuggle and then had cereal adn a 1:00 am showing of Paw Patrol because daddy was coming home!!!
I was relieved to have her go back to her big girl bed, and tell daddy that baby brother would sleep in the nursery. So perhaps all my worries were for naught?
STM+ - Have you ever dealt with the "nostalgia" phase? How did you handle it?
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
I don't think it's uncommon for kids to go through this during periods of adjustment, and it sounds like your daughter has a lot going on in her world right now. Try not to feel guilty for giving in.
I indulge DD periodically, but when I do I also reminder her that I am really going to need her help when the baby comes, and that I am so glad she was (and always will be) my first baby and is now a big girl and will be able to help.
How is she doing with the cat situation, btw?
Thanks for the words of wisdom. We are having conversations about what is for baby brother, and where is DD's space.
And we focus on her being helpful anyway... setting the table, watering plants, helping to cook and bake, making the beds, doing laundry, self dressing, etc. in her day to day life. It is a big motivator for her. So hoping this will continue. And the regression may settle once she is integrated into PreSchool room, from the toddler room.
We aren't pushing potty training, as a) too facking cold (wet snow pants, ICK) b) she hasn't seemed THAT interested and c) don't want to force too much change all at once. Any suggestions on that front? I'd like to let her wander around with no underpants on, but right now she FREAKS if she tiddles without a diaper on.
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
As for potty training, I didn't push it at all. I got this book and this book and read them to her a couple times a week (more when she started requesting them.) When I was home with her, I'd have her come sit on the potty while I went, which led to the (mostly) open-door policy (DH does everything sitting down and makes DD leave when he's done) we have now. Also, a sticker chart was pretty helpful; she got a sticker every time she sat down and really tried, and a sticker if she actually went. After 10 stickers, she got a treat (small piece of candy or extra tv time.)
Maybe let her wander around sans bottoms (like a naked butt, as DD likes to say) but ask her every 15/20 minutes or so to try going potty.
Good luck!
@austenista I used Luvs one time with DD when she was little and I'm going to be the special snowflake here that hated them. Not so much because of how they performed, but the smell! I don't know if they have gotten rid of the smell they pump into those diapers or not, but I could not handle it. I'm very sensitive to artificial smells though so it is probably just me. We ended up giving away half a box of diapers because DH and I both felt that way about their smell. It's a bummer because the price is really good on those diapers!
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
5 - IUIs, 3 - IVF retrievals, 2- failed transfers (fresh, and frozen), PGS on second IVF resulted in 1 perfect emby, and DD.
3rd IVF w PGS resulted in 3! perfect embys. 1st transfer - Sep 2017 2 more on ice.
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18
Me: 30 | DH: 34 | DSS: 14 | DS: 4
PG #2, EDD 10/12/2023
I know now not all families are the same and that babies bring change that can also bring stress — but the birth of DD brought back so much of the light that DH’s family lost with the death of his father. She and my MIL adore each other, and MIL is a caregiver through and through. I don’t know how to properly convey it, because it’s certainly not the baby’s job or your obligation to offer your child for that purpose, but I hope the addition and the joy your LO brings can help your MIL heal.
eta This is also a very personal decision, but the morning after DD was born, DH and I took a little walk (I’d had a csection and was dying to get up ASAP) to the nurse’s station and left DD with MIL for about 15 min. MIL held DD and told her about her grandfather. It was very meaningful to her.
Married March 2016
DD: born 7.22.16
DS EDD: 6.23.18
Also, it was just 11 months ago he was barely starting to army crawl and now he runs everywhere. All those other parents were right! It goes so fast haha...
Okay, excuse this post which is a whole bunch of, "Duh!." We all know tiny babies are cute and they grow up fast. I'm just being super sappy and nostalgic over here
First Son - born 2013
Third Son - due June 9, 2018
Can I also add that I'm starting to get that panic of 'omgosh, how am I going to love another little man as much as him?!' feeling. And let me add, its not the guilty 'theres no way i can' feeling. Its an 'omg. my heart might seriously explode' feeling cause I already know i'll love them both the same exact way.
I first had that feeling when I got my first positive --TW-- with our first loss--END TW-- after that, I wanted a second so bad that I never felt that again. But its resurfaced. waaaaahh pregnancy hormones!
DS: born oct 2012
TFAS: BFP #1 aug16. miscarriage sept16
BFP #2 nov16 MMC dec16. d&c jan17
BFP #3 sept17 EDD 5/31/18
fingers crossed for our rainbow baby
On another note, as I struggled to get everything out the door and to the car yesterday, I am now more concerned with how I'm going to get around with two. I guess my days of one trip to the car when I'm by myself are numbered. I can't imagine lugging a toddler and a carseat plus paraphernalia in one go, and also it's probably unrealistic to even try.
Our DD is only 15 months so there is nothing we can do or say to prepare her for her little brothers arrival- but that means I don't worry that she will worry that we don't love her as much now. She will never remember a time when it was just the three of us (which sounds sad as I type it, but I don't feel sad about it). I do feel sad that she won't be my baby anymore... she's still so tiny (41% for height- just a little peanut really). How is she going to be the big sibling?
BFP#4- 9/26 edd 6/5/18