Pregnant after IF

2nd Trimester Week of March 25 ***NEW LEADER NEEDED**

How're you feeling this week?
How far along?
Appts this coming week?


Don't forget HDBD on Wednesday!

Mommies to be:

@Aera11 6/21

@mtpbadger EDD 7/4?

@coco305 EDD 7/14

@jr102217 EDD 7/15

@cseley321 EDD 7/22 GIRL!

@safire3 EDD 7/23 BOY!

@irisheyes81 EDD 8/4 GIRL! 

@2MomsHoping EDD 8/12 GREEN!

@laurad75 EDD 8/20 BOY!

@sarcasticowl EDD 8/30 GIRL!

@lablover78 EDD 9/1

@BusinessWife EDD 9/9 GREEN!

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Re: 2nd Trimester Week of March 25 ***NEW LEADER NEEDED**

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  • @BusinessWife omg how cute is that lil fox tail!!! 
    History of TTC in spoiler box
    TTC since 2014
    Unexplained Infertility - but I am 40...Low AMH .30
    7 - IUI (50mg-150mg Clomid) Feb - August 2016 all BFN 
    IVF#1 August 2016 (Antagonist protocol 4/5 eggs) Cancelled cycle :( RE thought I would get at least 10.
    IVF#2 Sept 2016 (microdose luporn pro - disappearing follies, ONLY ONE, convert to IUI) BFN
    IVF#3 November 2016 (4 ER, 3 F,  3DT)-BFP  with TWINS // MC both at almost 10wks  :'( 
    IVF#4 March 2017 //EPP  (10 ER (1 wonky so 9 ER) 7F, 3B (5AB, (2)5BB) PGS tested- ALL abnormal  :'( 
    IVF#5 April 2017 // EPP (7 ER, 7F yes! 6B) 2/5 day 4/6 day - 2 PGS normal! yes!! :)
    IVF#6 May 2017 // Antagonist didn't have time for Estrogen Priming...(4 ER, 3 F, 3B) (5AB, (2) 5BB) 2 PGS normal, yes!! :)
    IVF#7 June 2017 // EPP praying this is it and then on to an FET!

  • @Aera11 So itchy!  It's mostly my back and my boobs.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @travelingcouple congratulations for making it the third trimester I can’t wait to run into you again soon!

    How're you feeling this week?  Nesting Mode!  We bought all our furniture for the nursery this weekend and have been assembly fools.  Still quite a bit to go.  Finally settled on a chair that they sold us the floor model for a great discount (it looked brand new).  Though now that it’s in the room I’m having second thoughts and think I should have ordered the darker color….but it’s here and I don’t want to pay full price so hopefully when we get some accessories we can tie it in more or paint the room (it’s a little too close to the wall color).  We also decided to go with a baby artic animals theme with mostly greys, silver, blues, and a splash or two of black.  Narwhals, penguins, fluffy seals, polar bears, snowflakes, etc.  an odd choice for an august baby but whatever :P  We have bought nothing theme related but I’m happy we have settled on a plan. 
    How far along? 20+1 I can’t believe I’m halfway!!!  Time is flying.
    Appts this coming week?  We have out anatomy scan tomorrow and then a follow-up with the doc for results on Wednesday.   

    @buisnesswife it is shocking how quickly babies grow out of clothes.  I think I’m only going to put 3-6, 6-9, and 9-12 on my registry and hope people don’t buy the tiny stuff.  We left some things off our registry we knew we wanted to buy or the grandparents offered to buy like my overpriced travel system, our nursery furniture, and things I just rather buy myself and feel a little too personal like nursing supplies.

    @laurad75 we are anatomy scan twins!  Good luck tomorrow J

    @aera11 double check that it’s safe but Benadryl gel is such a blessing for my itchy skin.  I have allergies that seem to come up as itching now and again.  I like a cool shower and then slather that stuff on.  I know taking Benadryl orally is a-ok in pregnancy but I haven’t checked out the gel so please make sure and check with you doctor first.  Of course if it isn’t allergy it probably won’t help but it’s cheap and worth a try. 

    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

  • sarcasticowlsarcasticowl member
    edited March 2018
    *Editing because I am bad at calendars*

    @aera11 SO ITCHY. Lower back, inner thighs, belly, boobs. It's absolute torture. And @BusinessWife I am SO jealous of your amazing haul!

    How're you feeling this week? So far, so good! Joint issues and right shoulder pain (the side I've been sleeping on for, oh, fifteen years has now turned into a nightmare - thanks, relaxin!) but otherwise just chugging along like always!
    How far along? 17w4d
    Appts this coming week? Nope, but two weeks from now is our anatomy scan. A little on the early side (19w4d) but hopefully she'll cooperate and they'll get what they need!

    Also: I follow Eva Amurri Martino (Susan Sarandon's daughter) on Instagram (thehappilyeva). She blogs as well, and has two littles that are super adorable. A lot of her stuff is just kind of fluff and she has a lot of 'sponsors' that make it seem like she's selling things all the time, but in a blog post about discipline she recommended a book that I just got the Kindle version of and I LOVE IT. It's called "Bringing Up Bebe" about an American woman and her English husband having and raising their kids in France. I'm not super far into it but it's really fun and funny and it shows the pretty stark differences in raising kids in the US vs. France. She by no means rips on American parenting styles but she wanted to get to the bottom of why French kids are such good eaters and seem to be so well-behaved in public. It's an interesting dichotomy and a good distraction from the zillion worries that usually take up my brain :)
  • @Irisheyes81 I'm supporting you 100% on this one.  It's annoying from an IF standpoint that she so easily got pregnant with twins but whatever.  She smokes?!  Gross.  I think you have every right to tell her its very hard to see her make poor choices that could effect the health of her children when you are also pregnant and had to go through so much to get here.  Gross.  
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @irisheyes81 Also, she only found out she's having twins at her anatomy scan? Had she even been to an OB prior to that? I will never understand women who do not take care of themselves and their unborn children when there are literally dozens of free programs for prenatal health care EVERYWHERE in this country thanks to the pro-life folks at pregnancy resource centers. It's infuriating on many levels that someone with so few resources has all the luck in the world, and I also would have booted her from my office for being such an idiot. Also, how about quitting smoking and taking that money and putting it toward Obamacare? Idiot.
  • @irisheyes81. So the beds would be our bed, (a queen), plus the mini crib (which converts to a twin).  They both match so near perfectly, and then the rest of the furniture is part of the set from the queen bed.  Long dresser for changing, (or two if we put one in each room), and some combination of the taller chest of drawers, armoire, nightstands etc.  So really nothing is super babyish at all, because even the crib becomes a big kid bed.
    <div class=" Spoiler"><img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/m7/24w79xb5vpul.jpg" alt="" title="Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/m7/24w79xb5vpul.jpg">
    <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/ip/vngfttytdh7s.jpg" alt="">
    <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/10/95l6qzfjkbm9.jpg" alt="">
    All in espresso, so while the crib and the bed might not be the exact same "espresso," (we'll see when it arrived), all the rest of the furniture should be totally the same finish, so I think it'll be a pretty cool cohesive thing to take with us and set up another house however we need to when we eventually move.  Neat, huh? ;)</div><p>
    </p>
  • @sarcasticowl Exactly! She said she has medicaid and WIC so not even obamacare.  She said she went to kaiser for her 8 week ultrasound and they saw one sac.  She also said she got the Harmony done. Wouldn't the Harmony reveal twins?  @laurad75 RIGHT with the smoking! So so so gross.  Sick.  And, she's showing.  She stands outside and smokes and she's showing. I feel like it was @2momshoping that was talking about not even painting her nails.  My shower curtain isn't even plastic and I wash my clothes in organic detergent but she smokes and gets pregnant with twins. 
    • Me: 36 DH: 33
    • TTC since June 2016
    • Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
    • 3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
    • 3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
    • IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal 
    • FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18

  • @irisheyes81 yeahhhh it's hard NOT to be judgy in that situation...AND jealous. I have never smoked, but my husband was a smoker, so I know it's not easy (he vapes now)... but she could at least taper it down until the babies are born...
  • @Irisheyes81 totally with you on this one and I would be upset too.  I probably wouldn't have been able to tell her off though and good for you.  Does she know what you have been through?  If you have any point in being friends with her, or she keeps talking to you, you might need to tell her you don't want to hear about it like @laurad75 said. But if you don't trust her, maybe don't mention what you went through because she might gossip and tell others in your office.

    @adirat welcome so glad to see you here!! : )
  • Aera11Aera11 member
    edited March 2018
    okay, I am glad I am not the only itchy one!  @2MomsHoping the book my ob wrote mentions benadryl being okay but not in the allergy portion...weird.  I go in Wednesday so I will ask then.  I am sure I could take it and it would be okay; let us know how your AS goes! happy halfway

    @sarcasticowl I follow her too and that book is in my amazon cart!  I have a few books in my cart that I should purchase so I can read them while I have the time, so glad you're enjoying it!  And I had my scan at 18w4d so you should be good hopefully :)

    @Irisheyes81, @laurad75 said it best, GROSS.  I totally get some people still smoke and it's hard to quit, but if you're pregnant...  I guess having been through what we've all been through to just get pregnant, we'd give up anything and not bat an eye so our perspective is for sure different.  A few friends have told me to go ahead and have a glass of wine, a beer, etc. not only does it not sound good right now and I know it's fine, BUT for me, it's just not worth it.  Infertility + losses has made me way more careful than I probably would've been if I got pregnant on my own quickly.  

    welcome @adirat!  I was sick until abut 16ish weeks...and then started feeling better, so there is hopefully light at the end of the tunnel.  I forsure thought it came back but turns out it was bad acid reflux making me throw up again, so heads up for that  :D

    edited to fix typos
  • Yay @adirat! Great to have you here and congrats on hitting second tri!

    @Irisheyes81 That makes me super ragey as well. Being pregnant with twins already puts you at risk for premature labor. Why would you compound that by smoking? I would have told her the same thing. After dealing with IF it really hurts when I see people get pregnant easily and don’t even take good care of themselves or their babies. Maybe it’s just jealousy but whatever. I feel like I have every right to those feelings after what I’ve been through. 
  • @adirat!  So glad you are here.  

    @lablover78 I had my Mat21 on a Monday and got my results back the following Wed.  I'm sure every office does it differently but the wait was tough.  I kept getting all these notifications on the office portal and would get excited every time just to learn I tested negative for a disease I didn't even know was a thing. 


    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @lablover78 That is so frustrating :( I would have reacted the same way. I hope you can focus on the good news -- strong HB! -- while you wait. 

    @2momshoping @aera11 My OB said that regular benadryl is fine but that any of the sudafed-type products should be avoided. Benadryl (the brand name) has a medicine that includes pseudoephedrine so that's the one to avoid. Regular benadryl which is just Diphenhydramine is safe. Interestingly, some women who have immune issues take Diphenhydramine with their FET to reduce the likelihood of immune response against the blastocyst! 

    Thanks for the warm welcome all <3 It's so exciting to see how far you guys are.


  • @adirat WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's so awesome to see you on here.  I love your meme so much. :)  I did lurk and knew your story (creepy I know) but now it is totally normal for me to be talking to you so HI!! Sorry about your morning sickness.  The heavens opened for me at 16 weeks and the first trimester yuck lifted so hopefully you are close.  Hormones are no joke! 

    @Aera11 how is the itching today?? Any better? Benadryl sounds like a great idea. that stuff is magic.  

    @lablover78 Your doctor sounds so nice.  You are so kick ass for what you have been through and all the tough decisions.  Baby sounds great though! 160 just perfect. That is so awesome about the crib.  Good hand me downs are so nice! I frees up so much registry for all the little things.  Especially a really nice crib you might not have invested in. 

    @laurad75 You're so funny about being excited to test negative about things you didn't even know existed.  I feel the exact same way.  I even get excited for things I know the baby couldn't have (we were both negative for fragile X and CF but I still celebrated).  

    Thank you everyone for listening to me vent and giving such good feedback and empathy.  This is the best group ever. Sometimes I feel like an insane person that worries everything is going wrong or about to go wrong. I spent so long being so bitter about the injustice of infertility and old habits die hard.  I think I offended the girl because she hasn't talked to me.  That's good because I spent the morning researching if a harmony would reveal twins.  I have an appointment today with my OB and even thought about asking him but I don't want her negativity around me or my baby so I think I'll get over it.  Haha.   When is that GD test thing? 
    • Me: 36 DH: 33
    • TTC since June 2016
    • Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
    • 3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
    • 3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
    • IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal 
    • FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18

  • Hi all just wanted to send out some responses while waiting for my anatomy scan.  Also in exciting pregnancy news I found a chewable that works as an antacid AND gas in one my purse feels so light with only one bottle :) #pregnancywin

    @sarcasticowl I’ve totally heard of bringing up bebe!  It’s on my reading list.  Unfortunately my pregnancy brain seems to be only displaying itself in a sudden disinterest in readying anything.  Thanks for letting me know its an easy one maybe I’ll splurge on an extra audible credit to get it. 

    Oh @irisheyes81 fertility hasn’t ruined you but it has changed you.  I have totally had those moments and sometimes it’s just human to overflow and maybe say something.  Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t make the pain of infertility go away.  That little “unfair” button will get pushed and your perspective is very different than this other woman’s.  Give yourself a little slack.  Letting go of pain is not linear.  It doesn’t go away with a positive pregnancy test and a comment a circumstance can take it you right back.  It’s okay to not see the bright side or potential sometimes.  Lol I also am the one that wont paint her nails, I also haven’t had my hair highlighted and switched to all hippy dippy cleaners/beauty care products…except I can’t give up the occasional use of aerosol dry shampoo or and will order a latte’ now and again….I guess we all have our vices.    

    Here is a picture of the new chair in the spoiler, we will not be having the plastic cover on the ottoman…lol I took this while we were at the store.  I really love that it is a taller and firmer chair with a high back.  In many of the chairs I felt like a giant sinking into a mound of pillows.  I just love the material it feels like velvet it was definitely our spurge for the room. 

     

    @businesswife I really love your furniture and it sounds like it will grow with your little one!

    @adrirat Welcome!!! oh I don’t want to rain on your parade but it doesn’t always go away.  Although it’s not nearly as bad at 20 weeks last night I way lying in bed dying all evening long asking DW to hit me over the head and knock me out.  (She never fulfills this request).  I used to be like that every night now it’s just manageable but the added heartburn and acid reflex still make me pretty gosh darn miserable for the majority of most days.  Are you on an anti-nausea med or unisome+B6?  I’m still on mine and the magnesium spray of all things seems to take the edge off the nausea.  I hope yours goes away soon!

    @aera11 if they clear you for the Benadryl make sure and get the topical gel.  It works a million times quicker and better than the pills for itchy skin!  Good luck!

    @lablover78 yay to the hand me downs.  I need to start rustling up some more friends I think!  The whole situation with managing care between two doctors sounds so frustrating.  I hope you are able to get some answers soon.

    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

  • hottietoddyhottietoddy member
    edited March 2018
    @BusinessWife or whoever decides to pick up as leader next week...would you mind adding me to the list?  Not a big deal but I am due 9/5 and it is a boy.  I really appreciate you organizing this and starting the thread. Thank you! : )

    @2MomsHoping I am about a month behind you, but I am really itching to get our nursery furniture in.  I think I will be so more excited then when I can see it taking shape.  The first step is to get rid of the old furniture. I'm waiting on my mom to decide if she wants it or not.  

    I don't know if I'm itchy for the same reasons, but I do have some dry itchy skin on my cheeks where I have NEVER had it before. I have to put on moisturizer or my face itches all day. So maybe not same reasons, but still itchy. I am slathering my stomach with berts bees mama bee moisturizer. I am also itchy at the locations of my insulin shots.  

    How're you feeling this week?  
    Meh, okay I guess.  Still have RLP here and there and gas pain- which I call 'the scary farts'.  It is like major gas pain, but usually is brief.  It's amazing how I can tell the difference between each different pain now.  I am still taking benefiber so that is helping not to have constipation. Husband is starting to touch my stomach and talk more about and to the baby, this is nice!  Also I am showing pretty clearly now.  I am chubby so it looks different than others but my best friend said she can see it last weekend.  I have been rubbing my belly a lot and hubby has too. I think we are going to be those crazy people who talk to the baby when in belly....or we already are! haha  We have been calling him 'William'. lol.  We like this name and aren't sure if it is final, but it is what we are calling him for now. If we keep that up it will most likely stick because we'll get used to it.  We just don't seem to really gravitate towards any other names.  We also like Harrison and Miles, but William just seems to fit.  

    How far along? 16 weeks and 6 days today

    Appts this coming week? Had Ob appointment today.  Baby is doing great, he is measuring exactly 16 weeks and 6 days.  Still haven't gained any weight and I made sure I was careful with what I ate and whatnot to nail the scale test.  I have to pee in a cup every time also.  I drank a lot of water ahead of time after coffee so they didn't freak out and tell me to drink more again.  last time I just happened to show up right after coffee.... sigh....I'm getting pretty sick of all the poking and prodding.  Thankful I have the care I need but it is just tiring and I get so anxious before every appointment. My husband went with me today and was very nice, but he was stressed by the end of it because it took 2 hours. I am scheduled out until mid may now with appointments with my ob or perinatal.

     Finally remembered to ask the other sonogram lady's schedule.  Today was the final straw with the one I have been seeing.  She made a big deal out of measuring the baby and tried to tell me she was just going to do heartbeat, then lectured me on working there 20 years and this is protocol....blah blah blah blah BLAH.  I said I wanted measurements and she did it, my doctor said I can have anything I want for sono, whenever I want. So don't have to deal with her anymore.  Turns out the really nice one is there on Tuesday afternoons, so that is an easy switch. I am getting the hang of not letting these people push me around and not getting upset, just telling them no.  What is funny is I asked her her schedule myself so I can avoid her and made it out like I was just wondering. haha!

    My husband went with me and I talked to my OB for a while.  We covered my therapist's question about if it is safe to go back on my zoloft.  He said no and had a great perspective on medication which I was so happy my husband heard first hand.  He said the baby should be first priority now and if there is anything else I can do to change my lifestyle to stay off it, he recommends that first.  So I told him that I am fine if I just stay away from the people causing the stress and he said good.  It was like he gave me a perscription to stay away from my in-laws.  He recommended that if we have to we just tell them something like 'look, I love you but, being around you is stressing me out to the point that I am considering going back on medication and I can't do that because it isn't good for the baby'.  I don't know that I will say that about the medication, but just saying it stresses me out will be enough.  People are judgemental about medication and then I feel like the have an excuse to think it's me not their bad behavior. 

    He also discussed my gestational diabetes with me.  I told him that 'old man scary doctor' had told me I have probably have type 2 diabetes.  He said that is ridiculous, but I did  have some insulin resistance after my MC when I first saw him.  I was on metformin so he never was able to get a good baseline.  We discussed that after I have the baby I will go off my metformin and insulin and then we will get a baseline test for diabetes.  I was only ever pre-diabetic even before I ever went on metformin like 2-4 years before ever being pregnant.  It is just that whenever I was pregnant or coming off of the MC my hormones cause my blood sugar to go up.  I worry if I've just given birth or if I am breast feeding the same will happen.  So I will have to manage that all very carefully. I don't want to be tested in a situation when my hormones are running rampant and then be labeled as type 2 diabetic. uuuuggghh....stressful....just going to focus on the things I can control like diet and excersize and then that is all I can do. Not going to stress it just makes blood sugar go up more (ironically).

    Also saw Endochrinologist on Monday and she said that it is not written in stone that I will need more insulin later in pregnancy or need to take after meal insulin.  I could stay similar to how I am now, she doesn't know and we just have to see.  Both my endo and OB said that just because I have GD doesn't mean I will have diabetes after I am pregnant.

    Update on in-law drama below if you want to read:

    Update on in-law drama:  My husband and I crafted a short but to the point email to all of them and sent this weekend.  I had written 4 drafts, my therapist and created one and he had written a couple as well. We went with a very short modified version of what the therapist recommended.  Basically this is why we are upset and we are taking a break from family.  I had another meltdown upset on sunday while discussing before sending, but husband consoled me and we are ok.  Then yesterday I asked if they had responded.  He told me my sister in law (the one who showed up pregnant) did write back and apologize, but said she had tried and was worried about us.  Didn't mention anything specificially about what she did wrong and kind of had the tone of, oh well we tried, wasn't really anything we could do.  My husband thinks she still doesn't really understand what she did and how upsetting it is to show up pregnant like that to someone who has dealt with IF.  He said he is going to explain it to her more thoroughly and see if she can understand more. He is basically going to question her and say- so you thought about it a lot and tried to tell us best you could- then how did you come up with the conclusion to just show up pregnant and surprise us?  He is also going to tell her how upset I was and explain I could tell she was pregnant. He said she will most likely be embarassed when he explains and he is also not really buying that they 'thought through it'.  We think the did maybe at the beginning when the 'let us tell first', but then it really seems they just gave up. Worst case senario he said she will just be an asshole who doesn't understand then we don't have to be around them. He thinks she will understand though.  I personally was so mad at her response because I think it is already so completely ridiculous that she still doesn't see what she did wrong. I think she has to be either stupid, selfish or just and/or so insensitive to not see this.  I got very upset again last night, my husband consoled me again and we are ok.  I am not asking about it again or thinking about it until next sunday. I am trusting my husband to communicate with them and stick up for me.  Husband said I don't ever have to talk to them again if I don't want to.  I also laid out some hypothetical ways we will deal with holidays through the end of the year and he thought they were okay as well.  We agreed at therapist that my in laws will not be at hospital when baby is born and will visit after we are home and settled. I don't have to see them and can just leave or be in other room when they visit. So I am feeling like I am able to take the space I need in the future and it isn't going to ruin my marriage.  So I am starting to calm down. My husband can handle talking to his family, I still think he is going to go easy on them, but I just don't have the energy to care.  Plus I can't be upset anymore it isn't good for the baby so I am focusing on that. 

  • @Irisheyes81 Totally understand! I've lurked many of your stories too on the IF board and it makes me so happy to see you here <3

    @2momshoping Oh no, 20 weeks? :( Yes, I am on the DIY diclegis (unisom+b6) and haven't even thought about coming off...\

    @hottietoddy Me reading your in-law stories:



  • haha- thank you @adirat..... it is definately a s#it show!  Did you get a chance to read the long winded description of what happened last week?  You don't have to, just wondering....

    Also @adirat do you know if you are having a boy or girl yet or are you team green?? Sorry if I missed that, I have been staying right here in my lane and not lurking at all on other boards.  No judgement to others who do, I wish I could, I just get anxiety thinking about any other stages.
  • @hottietoddy Yes, I went back and read your previous posts. Total s-t show! 

    I am having a boy. We did PGD testing with our embryos so we knew the sex in advance.


  • @adirat ah good to know, that makes sense.  I know pseudophed is on the 'no' list.  

    @Irisheyes81 a little better, I slathered on the benadryl cream so that is temporarily helping.  I might pop a benadryl tonight too, it'll probably help me sleep through the night since it knocks me out.  And I totally get it; infertility and loss definitely change you.  I think the most important thing is to take care of your and your baby's needs even if that means offending the occasional person.  I'm kind of living in the current bubble where I just want to enjoy every moment of this (itchy self and all) because I am worried I'll never get to do it again, so I am trying to not take things too personally and just enjoy feeling baby kick and parking the mom-to-be spots haha
    I did my GD test at 27 weeks.

    awww cute glider @2MomsHoping! and yes, the topical is so much more effective.  I am an idiot for not thinking of it like a week ago.


  • Quick comments since I'm on the mobile app:
    @Irisheyes81 my cousin's wife smoked and their daughter was born premature. It was disgusting to see her smoke on their front porch while pregnant -- I can't remember why we visited that day -- and even though this was over a decade ago, that doesn't excuse her bc my cousin gave up smoking just a few years before that. /end rant 

    @hottietoddy hugs!

    @TravelingCouple yay 3rd trimester!

    AFM, I have a cold and am miserable. (Un)luckily, I was sick right after new years so I know the protocol -- no real meds, only Tylenol, gargling will salt/vinegar, lots of fluids, and lots of rest. Ugh but if DH makes another joke asking if I caught my nose (bc it's runny), I might smack him. Also, we're totally nesting and have cleaned up the guest room and he put together the crib today. A bunch of stuff was either given as hand-me-downs or sent from our registries already so it's exciting. Now I'm just trying not to get my germs on them. Finally, prenatal yoga was awesome last Friday and I signed up for another class this Friday. Now I just wish I had better concentration during the work day. 




  • @hottietoddy glad baby is looking good!  and sorry about your in-laws, sheesh! glad your DH is being so supportive.

    @jr102217 ugh sorry about the cold.  Being sick and not being able to take anything is the worst.  But yay for setting up your crib!  We did that on Sunday and normally DH gets frustrated with furniture set ups but it was so easy and we were able to enjoy it.
  • MaterniT21 came back negative and it’s definitely a boy! It’s so exciting to see everyone’s progress. I’m so glad to have this board.

    @2MomsHoping I bought the most natural nail polish I could find- I guess they are 5-free/vegan/GF, also switched to organic beauty products but omg the dry shampoo did not even occur me! So much to think about.
    TTC since May 2013
    Mild PCOS, Compound Heterozygous MTHFR
    No Folic acid/pharmaceuticals/supplements (too many to list- private message me if interested), IVIL infusion
  • Sending you lots of hugs this morning @laurad75!  FX the placenta will move & that baby boys left kidney is functioning perfectly.   Ugh I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, I can't even imagine. 
  • Oh @laurad75 I'm so sorry for this turn of events. I know it's likely not as bad as they have to warn you about, but any extra worry is so unfair this late in the game. Hoping everything turns out well and that his left kidney is the rock star it needs to be and that you get rest and peace going forward. Bonus that more ultrasounds mean more chances to see your guy, though, right? :)
  • @sarcasticowl Yes, the extra scans is definitely the silver lining.  :)
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @Irisheyes81 I noticed for me personally that a lot of the IF resentment I had for other pregnant ladies died down after my first was born.... I remember I had it bad even though I was pregnant as well. Hearing others whine about kids, being pregnant, all of it crawled under my skin.

    Since I had my first, those feelings faded away a lot. Don't get me wrong, a pregnant lady smoking would make me bonkers, but overall I have been a lot more laid back about things this time around
  • hottietoddyhottietoddy member
    edited March 2018
    @laurad75 so sorry you had to go through that and the amnio. I hope everything works out and FX that it is the best case senario.  Doctors are always so scary going through all the worst possibilities and that amnio did not sound fun.  You are very brave and doing a great job to get through that, glad they were able to see the placenta and the kidney issue now so they can be aware and take the best care possible of you and the baby. One of the positive pregnance affirmations I go through is 'you are stronger than you think'.  You are definately strong to go through that appointment and make it out the other side.  You are the best mommy for your baby!
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