Benched/TTA Week of 3/10

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

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This thread is for those who have started TTC but are now TTA or Benched. (There is also a TTCAL "sister" thread.)

***General TW that this thread can and will mention MC and loss.***

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have hit a roadblock and are delaying for whatever reason. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on not TTC and connect with others who are in the same boat. TTC can be a long journey, and having to wait makes it feel even longer -- even if it is for a good reason. I invite you to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say. Treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Benched = involuntarily not NTNP/TTC and "out of the game," usually due to medical reasons

TTA = avoiding pregnancy by using protection or FAM, usually for non-health-related reasons __________________________________________________________________

Are you benched or TTA?

What brings you here?

How long do you think you'll be here?

How have things been going?

Any R/R/CS/Q?

GTKY: Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to?

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

It’s been a few weeks since this thread is active....I’m ok if I’m the only one here, honestly that would be ideal....because I wouldn’t wish this on even my worst enemy. I never imagined myself being benched....and it sucks. To know that time, maybe even good eggs, are just ticking away, well it sucks! But I trust my dr so here I am.
Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? EP at 6w5d, 2 weeks post-op. Benched for 6 months due to some tissue found in my ute, and dr wanting to be sure my Ute heals completely

How long do you think you'll be here? August 2018

How have things been going? Potential TW* Blah, got a blood draw yesterday and my hcg was still 43, my dr said she did a sweep of my uterus along with taking my tube so I just kinda figured that my hcg would be back down to 0....but I’m an accountant, not a dr or anyone who knows anything about biology so maybe this is normal? End Tw** emotionally I’m doing good this week, and finally physically I can actually move around.

Any R/R/CS/Q? So does anyone who has had an EP have experience with getting accelerated help from an RE, or do I have to wait for a referral? I honestly didn’t think about it until today but now I’m wondering if this constitutes a special circumstance?

GTKY: Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to? Sorry, I’m currently catching up on Scandal...and a huge fan of Grey’s! I would say I can relate to Meridith, no my mom is not a world renown surgeon, and my husband didn’t die in a horrific car accident, but I’ve lost close friends along the way, and I’m challenged with balancing my work and family, also I’m best friends with a male

holly321 · March 2018

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Malignant molar pregnancy 8/17

How long do you think you'll be here? This is my last cycle

How have things been going? Ok. I am temping and off birth control, so I feel like I am actually doing something.

Any R/R/CS/Q? None.

GTKY: Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to?
That's a hard one. I Have only seen private practice and Grey's, and don't really have a character that stands out. So I took a BuzzFeed quiz. It said Amelia.

@nmbrcrnchr1
Does your doctor suspect Molar pregnancy? I am sorry you find yourself here. The bench is terrible. It took me a long time to accept it, and I still struggle with it. It helps I was originally told I would be possibly benched for 1-2 years, so I became more appreciative when my time was shortened. From what I know about HCG levels (which, is a lot now) there is a variance in when it is gone, and once under 100, it usually slows leaving your system maybe I am off base, and I am sorry if I am, but it seems like you are questioning your doctor a bit, and that is okay, ask questions. 6 months is a long time to be benched and it is okay to question why and if it is necessary.

prpl11butterfly · March 2018

Are you benched or TTA?~~ Benched

What brings you here? ~~ MMC discovered (or maybe confirmed) on 2-28, D&E 3-1

How long do you think you'll be here? ~~ Depends on who you ask and if post op goes well Thurs. If up to me, post up will end benching. If I can't convince H, another month or so (thinks we should wait until another cycle)

How have things been going? ~~First few days were really hard emotionally, but I honestly feel good and am ready to try again, providing things go well Thur. I think this TWW has been more agonizing then all the actual TWWs I've had. ~~ Welp, just had an unexpected breakdown. Just popped into FB to see Step SIL is expecting #2 on 9-8. Our #2 would have been due 9-16. I'm thrilled for her, truly, but sad that it's not something we will be going through together and have babes so close in age (not that we see them often, they are in NC and we are MA). And yea, I'm I little jealous obviously.

Any R/R/CS/Q?

GTKY: ~~Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to? Hmmm. I only watch Grey's and HTGAWM (and Private Practice when it was on). So I also took the buzzfeed quiz and got Mer. It works though, pain in past but managed to overcome, kick ass at job and impress coworkers. So yea, that's me

@nmbrcrnchr1 I wish no one had to be here either. Glad to hear your physically feeling better. Hopefully your Dr can shorten your time here once a bit more time passes.

@holly321 glad to hear your in the home stretch! I hope your rainbow comes quickly.

ETA some ~~ that I left out

E(again)TA in "how are things going" section....

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

@holly321 no they don’t suspect a molar, I have only ever heard about that from following your story and a few google searches but my hcg was not high or even doubling and Tw* there was a developing baby in the gestational sac at 6w3d end TW* so I don’t think it would be molar? i trust my doctor but I do question them a lot just to see what their response is lol

holly321 · March 2018

@nmbrcrnchr1, I had fetal development too, it is the rare form of molar, but it happens. Also, my HCG levels were dropping very well until after my d&c, they started rising 4-5 weeks after. What tissue was found in the uterus that was concerning? I guess, I should have asked are they concerned about gestational trophoblastic disease, which molar pregnancy is a form of. Different forms can occur with different types of pregnancy, like choriocarcinoma, etc.

I am not saying it is wrong or too much, but why 6 months? That to me seems like such a long time from an ectopic.

@prpl11butterfly, tw I am sorry for the emotions you are dealing with with your SILs pregnancy. My SIL and I were a few weeks apart. It was hard when she got pregnant when I was having fertility issues then hard with her being pregnant with my loss. She just had the baby. I felt so guilty and awful for being so bitter, but tried my best to be interested and care. I know it had to be awkward for her too.

prpl11butterfly · March 2018

@holly321 we aren't even close and I doubt my step MIL told her about my loss. I just wish she or FIL had given us a little heads up because they DID know. I mean, a text at least. Seeing her smiling with a little bump knowing that I won't be making my announcement next month as planned just hit hard. Doesn't help that DH seemed to think it shouldn't upset me and that *tw* we should be happy because we have 1ds whose perfect and healthy already *end tw*. Honestly I feel like I wouldn't have reacted so strongly if she were not due a week before I had been.

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

@holly321 I believe they said it was fetal tissue on my uterus, but to be honest I get very queasy and don’t remember if they said anything about gestational trophoblastic, I don’t think she did though. I can’t remember how she said she had to clean the tissue off but bc of that she wants my uterus to heal so that’s why it’s 6 months. I could try after 3 if I want to but she recommended 6. I’m not willing to risk another loss or other complications just for 3 months.

holly321 · March 2018

@nmbrcrnchr1, so essentially, she did a d&c in addition to removing the tube?

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

@holly321 yes they did.

jrm_14 · March 2018

@nmbrcrnchr1 ((Hugs)) Sorry you’ll be here for 6 months. It sounds like you’re somewhat at peace with knowing it is for decreased risk to extend it to 6 months. Most REs around here don’t make you have a referral. If I were you and wanted to consult with an RE, I’d call around and ask them if you could schedule at this point.

@holly321 Last cycle in th bench!! How are you feeling about restarting TTC?

@prpl11butterfly There are not words that can adequately express sorrows for a loss. It is absolutely understandable and valid to have those feelings for step-SILs pregnancy.
TW pregnancy talk (not mine)

My sister, with whom I am super close, is due in July. It will be her last one. It makes me so very sad to think we will never experience pregnancy together and our children will not be too close in age. Her oldest is 11 in May.

I am sorry for your aching heart, especially with such close due dates.

Are you benched or TTA? Benched

What brings you here? Early loss following 2nd IUI w/ injectables. Started back on methotrexate on Friday.

How long do you think you'll be here? At least 4 months.

How have things been going? Rough. I had breakfast this morning with my BFF. She’s totally my person. It’s been a hard week. I’m so lost.

Any R/R/CS/Q? I’m really far behind at work and am going to need to tell my boss something so he knows why I’m so behind on charts. Ugh.

GTKY: I have no idea who that is.....

holly321 · March 2018

@jrm_14, I am sorry for your lost and that you find yourself here. Good luck with talking with your boss. Are you benched because the Mtx?
AFM, I am a combination of excited and terrified. Part of me thinks we will get pregnant immediately x then I try and remind myself I needed clomid before. Then terrified that there will be birth defects or the cancer will come back. Literally, I am all over the place.

jrm_14 · March 2018

@holly321 Yes, benched from the MTX. I will be on it at least 4 weeks, then off it a minimum of 3 months prior to IVF.
It’s understandable to have all those different feeings about being unbenched. There is room for both being terrified and excited. Be kind to yourself ❤️

ETA: It’s =/= its.

prpl11butterfly · March 2018

@jrm_14 I'm so sorry you find yourself here and for you loss. I hope your boss will be understanding.

@holly321 that such a tough place to be. I think the idea of pregnancy has changed so much for all of us now. But to have to worry about cancer too. I'm sorry this has to be such a scary time for you when it should be so exciting

Edited to finish my thought properly.

suzycupcake · March 2018

@jrm_14 I was just stalking you to see where you're at. I'm so sorry.

jrm_14 · March 2018

@suzycupcake Feeling up to peeking out of my hidey-hole a bit today.

suzycupcake · March 2018

@jrm_14

nmbrcrnchr1 · March 2018

@holly321 forgot to put this in my last post but thanks for the questions and information. This is why I love being apart of this group. I learn so much from everyone!
@jrm_14 I’m so sorry you find yourself here. And that you will be benched for a few months.

kristah2 · March 2018

Oh my gosh there are way too many people in there. I am sorry and sending hugs to all of you.

Are you benched or TTA? TTA

What brings you here? Had to start TTA again due to H being away for 6-8 weeks early next year and it's not the ideal situation for either of us (and I'm afraid of a mental breakdown being alone).

How long do you think you'll be here? until July

How have things been going? Not super great. I haven't yet gone back on the pill so we figured we'd use condoms and we haven't been good at it. There has also bee several pregnancy announcements among my friends and I am feeling sad, guilty (that I'm choosing to put things on hold), angry.. little of everything.

Any R/R/CS/Q? nothing at all.

GTKY: Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to? Maybe Amelia. I feel like while she has a good job and family etc. she seems to still feel and be alone in many aspects of her life. Life is lonely y'all.

projectalice · March 2018

Are you benched or TTA?
Benched I suppose, I just had a mmc, and a d&c. So now I have to wait for a normal cycle before I can start trying again. I haven't discussed it with my husband either to see where he's at (kinda afraid he might say to wait), so I guess I was just going to see what happens whenever we have sex next time. I've never been great at talking about feelings...

What brings you here? I wasn't sure if I should post here or the ttcal thread. I was on tb years ago, but it's been so long I can't remember my login info, so here I am.

How long do you think you'll be here? No idea. With my luck it will be awhile.

How have things been going? Not really great. Pretty down lately, and i need to get back to work to make some money, but the lady i work for got pregnant same time as me... So that's fun.

Any R/R/CS/Q? Nada

GTKY: Which Shonda Rhimes character do you relate to? Sorry, I don't know who that is. I'm mostly watching old Seinfeld reruns atm.

ETA: I don't know why my entire posts aren't showing up?? It keeps cutting me off.

Benched/TTA Week of 3/10

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