PAIF Support Thread Feb. 26

doula-mama · February 2018

Let's get to know each other. Share with us any IF/loss background you would like to share and how things are going for you now.

Note: This thread will include discussion of infertility and loss. If these topics are triggering for you, please take care of yourself while reading and posting here.

This thread is for those of us who went through infertility testing and treatments before becoming pregnant. Many of us have had different struggles to get to this place and face different anxiety and concerns now. This thread is for us to support each other, and we hope it will be a safe space. Check in any time during the week you have news to share or need support.

This thread is for those who have experienced infertility. The struggles we discuss may or may not apply to those who became pregnant easily. If you have not experienced infertility, please be considerate and sensitive if you feel the need to post in this thread.

efavell02 · February 2018

First OB/midwife appointment tomorrow after being officially released from my RE! Excited to hopefully have another ultrasound and retest progesterone since the RE had me stop taking it. I think once i know it’s normal, I’ll feel more like a regular pregnant person and not a fertility patient. It’s hard to trust that my body can do something right for once. How’s everyone else doing?

limeburst · February 2018

I had an u/s Friday at 8 weeks and we heard and saw baby’s heartbeat! I have graduated from the RE and he says I can stop PIO on March 12! I’ll be excited to be finished with those. My next appointment is with my OB on 3/16 at 11 weeks.

Morning sickness is getting worse, although it’s just nausea for me (so far) no throwing up so I am grateful for that.

@efavell02 stopping progesterone cold turkey makes me nervous too so I am hoping my OB checks my levels at my next appointment. FX your levels are good!

doula-mama · February 2018

Had my first real ultrasound today (had one quickly in the hospital before surgery, but only saw the yolk sac). Got to see the heartbeat, and get the due date. It definitely made me feel a lot less anxious, although the thought of stopping progesterone in a few weeks is still making me nervous!

zwink1 · February 2018

Nothing exciting happening here this week. Just jealous of all of you graduating and getting away from the progesterone! My RE keeps me until I'm off the progesterone, which isn't until week 12.

Actually, I could stay with her past that as an OB patient instead of a fertility patient, but I've been thinking and I'm leaning toward going back to my OB (they're in the same practice). I decided this weekend to stick with the practice and switch hospitals. Soooo, that's all fun.

pebbledam · February 2018

I'm just so nervous about my upcoming first u/s on Thursday. I've never had a loss; it just took me a very long time to conceive, so I'm not sure why I'm so scared. It's that "waiting for the other shoe to drop" feeling others have mentioned.

doula-mama · February 2018

@pebbledam I know exactly what you mean. And just to warn you - I felt better after the ultrasound but then when I was laying awake last night, the anxiety came back

kiwi2628 · February 2018

@pebbledam I dont know if that feeling goes away. I have had 2 ultrasounds already and I am convinced that at my next one next week they wont find a heartbeat. Its actually making me delay announcing because I am petrified. It sucks how we can't just...you know...be happy, like normal people.

seethosestars · February 2018

@pebbledam and @kiwi2628 - I can relate so much. It's hard to not feel like things just won't go right, just because it's been such a struggle so far. Even after seeing the heartbeat last week I still am so nervous about losing this little one. I almost think my anxiety is getting worse!

Is anyone doing an NIPT test? There are lots of "brands" out there (Harmony, Nifty, Panorama to name a few). I'm torn about whether or not to ask about the baby's sex as they can tell you this information with this test too. We were originally "team green" but after infertility I think we are done with surprises. I want to start envisioning our family life again and I think knowing a bit more about our babe will help with that.

muchwanted · February 2018

Hi All,

I left TB in one of the exoduses (exodi?) long ago, but that place fizzled out, so I'm back. I'm a hard core IF vet - counting all my FETs, I've done IVF 12 times and had six losses, ranging from 5-11 weeks. I've literally miscarried every time I've been pregnant, though (TW!!) I do have one living daughter (almost 3) who had a vanishing twin. First u/s yesterday showed two good sacs with fetal structures, so I'm hopeful about this pregnancy, despite my horrific track record. I'll believe we're getting twins if both make it to the a/s, which I really don't expect.

In response to the above, stopping progesterone cold turkey rarely causes any problems, but I'm also a fan of asking for a follow-up blood test.

zwink1 · February 2018

@muchwanted, welcome!

@seethosestars, I think it's so interesting how this experience shapes people differently and can minimize/amplify different aspects of our personalities. For instance, before IF we were team green as well. We're looking at doing NIPT testing, but I have already strongly alerted my RE and our ultrasound tech that under no circumstances do I want to know the sex of this baby. I think for me, rather than being one more surprise on this unpleasant roller coaster, I look at it as the ONE thing from this experience so far that I can control. That said, I totally see where you're coming from.

halfanewt · February 2018

@muchwanted welcome! And thanks for the comment about stopping progesterone - I was just about to ask that, too!

@zwink1 I'm the same way! It feels like it’s the one thing that can still happen “naturally” if you know what I mean?

@pebbledam I’m with you there. Second u/s on Thursday and I’m trying not to think about it.

@kiwi2628 I feel you on the anxiety around announcing. I’ll be 9 weeks tomorrow, so I know it’s still early, but I’m wondering when to tell family, etc. I’ve kept the rest of this very private, so it just feels weird to open up, I guess, even for something positive.

SweetSweetTooth · February 2018

I have been trying for years with pcos but no pregnancies until now. My progesterone was a little low and I was put on once a day oral. I asked my midwife on Monday how long I am supposed to take it and if more bloodwork will be done. She said she likes to continue to 13 weeks and no bloodwork as the placenta should have already taken over that job by 13 weeks. So since I haven't been pregnant before would you just go with it or would you request bloodwork? And if so on the bloodwork, when?

northbeach3 · February 2018

I woke up this morning with a sense of fear about u/s #2 next Monday. My intense nausea has subsided a lot and although I still have mAny symptoms ... my brain is reminding me that missed miscarriages are still a thing.

im happy that the nausea isn’t so bad that I can’t concentrate but I guess I want to fast forward a month so I can feel more confident about being out of the woods. I guess it doesn’t help that I keep reading about women’s mc this far along.

Im thankful to have this board to sound my fears since most people in RL are super optimistic and don’t recognize why id be worried.

northbeach3 · March 2018

well, i guess something in my mind or body knew something was up. Went in for 9w1d u/s today. No heart beat. Growth stopped at 8w3d.

i'm kind of in a state of disassociation. i didn't let myself get too attached b/c of the whole IF process. honestly, my heart hurts more for my husband who is devastated.

i have my D&C tomorrow.

kiwi2628 · March 2018

@northbeach3 I am so, so sorry. My heart aches for you. I hope your D&C recovery is fast. So many hugs

muchwanted · March 2018

@northbeach3 - I'm so very sorry. Please take care of yourself.

doula-mama · March 2018

@northbeach3 So sorry - take care of yourself...

halfanewt · March 2018

@northbeach3 I’m so sorry. Take care of yourself. ((Hugs))

limeburst · March 2018

@northbeach3 I am so sorry to see this update. Take care of yourself

halfanewt · March 2018

Oops, double post

shortstack930 · March 2018

@northbeach3 I am so so sorry.

zwink1 · March 2018

Oh, @northbeach3, I am so, so incredibly sorry. My thoughts are with you.

holly_owensmom · March 2018

@northbeach3 sending lots of love and hugs your way

SweetSweetTooth · March 2018

@northbeach3 I am so sorry. Hugs to you

northbeach3 · March 2018

Thanks ladies for your kind words. I’m doing okay physically but exerting a lot of mental energy putting on a brave face at work. Ready for the weekend so I can hide out under my blanket and appropriately grieve.

Thanks for your support. Best of luck in your continued journeys.

pebbledam · March 2018

@northbeach3 - I'm so sorry for you and YH. Please take care of each other.

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