I'm so sorry @BusinessWife and @smsaulino, that is not a pleasant feeling and I'm sorry you were both robbed of the ability to tell people how you wanted and when you wanted.
With it being so early on, I was so upset @Patience7150 but DH wasn't able to go with me to the appointment I had two weeks later and my aunt worked in the area of where my doc is, so it made it easy for me to ask her if she wanted to go with me. She still "jokes" with me that she had to hear the news from my fil, though.
Just read this article on a Houston news site... I don't know if you are able to pull it up or not.. but it is about a woman in UT panhandling to pay for IVF. Her and her DH have been apparently trying to conceive for 13 years. The only thing that made me cry worse than the article was the hateful comments on FB about it. https://abc13.com/3156557/?sf183313011=1
Oh no @BusinessWife my mom too! I live on the opposite side of the country from most of my friends and all my family, so literally no one will know until I tell them. I could wait until the baby’s born if I wanted. But my mom keeps telling her close friends, one of whom is the cliche town gossip *eyeroll*. FIL told DH’s older family members. We wanted to be the ones to tell family and his feeling was “they’re my family too”. Come on.
Dd is on a no-eating kick. It isn’t something we can just wait out as weight and health are directly related for her. Literally nibbles and holding it in her mouth. One hour of “take a bite please, chew chew chew! Send it to your tummy!” All for one slice of cheese, a few nibbles of ham, and at most 1/4 slice of toast... I’m frustrated, she’s frustrated and I have no idea what is triggering this or how to help her. We’re both crying me cause I lost my shit yet again, aanndd mil just arrived for their playdate. Awesome.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@jhjocelyn That sounds so hard. I wonder if her tummy is bothering her or something. Will she do shakes or Smoothies or anything like that?
The gagging you mentioned before almost sounds like sensory issues, or potentially just like rebelling because she can, it's always hard.
Sending virtual hugs and calories to you and her.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
I've been on the verge of tears all day long and I'm not really sure why. I haven't slept all that well this week and it's starting to grate on me a bit. I actually feel more energy in general, but I'm still just like worn down to the bone exhausted. I haven't had much time to myself in quite a while, and I just want to be left alone to do whatever I want. Instead, when I got home tonight DS was throwing a fit because I wouldn't give him fish (goldfish) before dinner and he was hungry, he's on a veggie strike (and the only veggies he regularly eats for me is peas and potatoes), and he keeps pulling me everywhere. As soon as I sit down it's like a signal goes off in his brain that he must come over to me and tug on my hand or my leg or something to follow him somewhere, sit on the floor with him, etc. I try to convince him to go grab dad, but that rarely works. Sometimes I love having a mama's boy, other days like today it's tough. Pity party, table of 1 here.
@pourmeamocktail Thanks, it’s possible her tummy could be interfering. She easily backs up and then her appetite drops, but, I keep a close eye and manage it pretty well. We’re fully stocked in laxatives over here... she got 4 full size doses of miralax yesterday. The gagging is totally attitude, it presents like sensory, but is food that she will eat without a flinch other days or even at the beginning of the same meal. *eyeroll* MIL got the full pic today, but was very gracious and kind and reminded me everyone loses it sometimes. We talked it out, and I suspect power is really the culprit. I’m a chill mom and offer her plenty of choices all day long, the one thing I cannot let go is mealtimes(she averages 1,700 calories 60g protien, 100g fat per day and that barely keeps her growth on track). So it’s her chance to push buttons. Thankfully this usually comes in a phase and passes eventually. For now, I got out a new puzzle and each clean plate gets her one piece. It’s cheap easy incentive that usually helps.
....and now you all have new a glimpse into cf mama life... I feel awkward sometimes that I can barely post here w o some reference to dd’s issues. I never notice how much it interferes w “normal” life stuff till I find myself addimg explanations to my posts.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@jhjocelyn No need to feel awkward about posting about your DD and her needs. It’s a part of her life. FWIW, I’ve seen quite a few kids pull the gag gig on foods they liked just the day before. Love the puzzle idea!!
And seriously, the puzzle thing is a godsend. It’s how we potty trained her after running out of surprise eggs. As long as the first piece has someone she recognizes on it, she loves guessing who else will show up. We’re up to 48 piece puzzles now, though there’s a lot of days she does fine and we all forget sp ot takes extra long to finish them.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@jhjocelyn I have nothing really to add, other than please never feel awkward about posting here about your DD! A teaching aide in my elementary school had CF and talked to us a lot about it so it has fascinated me from early on. I love reading your comments and learning more about what it's like to be a CF mom. And the puzzle idea is so awesome, I'm glad she responds to it!
I’m crying because I have a headache from crying. Had a meltdown earlier about being sick of throwing up all the time and we just found out this week were having twins. Slightly overwhelmed
**possible TW for domestic type abuse references. No descriptions, just references**
See thing on Facebook. Get reminded of ex husband. Spend next hour mentally reliving every horrible thing he said or did to make me feel like a worthless stupid piece of poo. Get mad and sad all over again that 1, he treated me that way and 2, I was stupid enough to let him. And 3 that I lost friends when I left my ex cause they thought I was a horrible person for breaking the heart of such a "great" guy. Pretty much no one knows all the stuff he put me through. I tell myself logically all day long that all 20 year olds are naive and if you get married young and you don't have other relationships to compare to, that well, duh, it would be pretty easy to be manipulated/abused. Especially since it was all control, emotional, mental type abuse, not physical beyond some occasional date rape-y behavior towards the end (which I was able to recognize as bad.) Even 20 year old me was smart enough to know it's not ok if your SO punches you in the face. I mean physical abuse is pretty obvious, right? The mind games not so much. But they are so so so glaringly embarrassingly obvious in retrospect, that even though I try to be logical about it, feelings wise, I feel so sad and so stupid. Oh, and bitter. Really really bitter. Ugh. Hormones don't help the situation. Pregnancy makes me think a lot about those things anyhow without other reminders because a big control thing that was used was the ex making me prove I was good enough to have kids but me never being able to be good enough. Being lonely cause hubby's gone doesn't help. Again, logically, I know that hubby hasn't abondoned me. He's not ignoring or avoiding me. He's away for work because he has to be and it has nothing to do with me. But to those pesky emotions and irrational feelings, this extended alone time dealing with everything by myself feels bad like it felt bad when my ex was a jerk or when I was getting divorced and losing friends and on my own. It's all jumbled up right now and it feels icky. Ain't emotional baggage a hoot?
Oh, and the feeling of guilt that if I post this that maybe it'll get back to my ex somehow and hurt his feelings. Or that it's bad or wrong of me to share this cause what if I'm blowing things out of proportion and really he's an ok guy? That gets me so sad and upset too because back to logic damnit, I know what he did! I know he's a freaking jerk and I know I'm not blowing it out of proportion! Ya spend 12 years walking on eggshells trying to keep someone happy and jumping through their hoops though, and damn if it's not a hard habit to break. I spent so many years not being allowed to talk about my relationship that it still feels really weird doing it.
TL:DR- relationships are hard and emotional baggage feels icky
@stothi I imagine that's difficult to completely separate yourself from. I'm sorry you had to go through that and that you may never fully forget about it and mentally have to re-live it. Do you get to talk to your H often while he's away for work? I know sometimes even when my H is at home I kind of just need to tell him that I need some extra love and attentioin for whatever reason and he can usually follow through with that. Hope today is better ❤
Re: Why My Pregnant Self is Crying 2/23
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
The gagging you mentioned before almost sounds like sensory issues, or potentially just like rebelling because she can, it's always hard.
Sending virtual hugs and calories to you and her.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
The gagging is totally attitude, it presents like sensory, but is food that she will eat without a flinch other days or even at the beginning of the same meal. *eyeroll*
MIL got the full pic today, but was very gracious and kind and reminded me everyone loses it sometimes. We talked it out, and I suspect power is really the culprit. I’m a chill mom and offer her plenty of choices all day long, the one thing I cannot let go is mealtimes(she averages 1,700 calories 60g protien, 100g fat per day and that barely keeps her growth on track). So it’s her chance to push buttons. Thankfully this usually comes in a phase and passes eventually. For now, I got out a new puzzle and each clean plate gets her one piece. It’s cheap easy incentive that usually helps.
....and now you all have new a glimpse into cf mama life... I feel awkward sometimes that I can barely post here w o some reference to dd’s issues. I never notice how much it interferes w “normal” life stuff till I find myself addimg explanations to my posts.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
And seriously, the puzzle thing is a godsend. It’s how we potty trained her after running out of surprise eggs. As long as the first piece has someone she recognizes on it, she loves guessing who else will show up. We’re up to 48 piece puzzles now, though there’s a lot of days she does fine and we all forget sp ot takes extra long to finish them.
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
See thing on Facebook. Get reminded of ex husband. Spend next hour mentally reliving every horrible thing he said or did to make me feel like a worthless stupid piece of poo. Get mad and sad all over again that 1, he treated me that way and 2, I was stupid enough to let him. And 3 that I lost friends when I left my ex cause they thought I was a horrible person for breaking the heart of such a "great" guy. Pretty much no one knows all the stuff he put me through. I tell myself logically all day long that all 20 year olds are naive and if you get married young and you don't have other relationships to compare to, that well, duh, it would be pretty easy to be manipulated/abused. Especially since it was all control, emotional, mental type abuse, not physical beyond some occasional date rape-y behavior towards the end (which I was able to recognize as bad.) Even 20 year old me was smart enough to know it's not ok if your SO punches you in the face. I mean physical abuse is pretty obvious, right? The mind games not so much. But they are so so so glaringly embarrassingly obvious in retrospect, that even though I try to be logical about it, feelings wise, I feel so sad and so stupid. Oh, and bitter. Really really bitter. Ugh. Hormones don't help the situation. Pregnancy makes me think a lot about those things anyhow without other reminders because a big control thing that was used was the ex making me prove I was good enough to have kids but me never being able to be good enough. Being lonely cause hubby's gone doesn't help. Again, logically, I know that hubby hasn't abondoned me. He's not ignoring or avoiding me. He's away for work because he has to be and it has nothing to do with me. But to those pesky emotions and irrational feelings, this extended alone time dealing with everything by myself feels bad like it felt bad when my ex was a jerk or when I was getting divorced and losing friends and on my own. It's all jumbled up right now and it feels icky.
Ain't emotional baggage a hoot?
Oh, and the feeling of guilt that if I post this that maybe it'll get back to my ex somehow and hurt his feelings. Or that it's bad or wrong of me to share this cause what if I'm blowing things out of proportion and really he's an ok guy? That gets me so sad and upset too because back to logic damnit, I know what he did! I know he's a freaking jerk and I know I'm not blowing it out of proportion! Ya spend 12 years walking on eggshells trying to keep someone happy and jumping through their hoops though, and damn if it's not a hard habit to break. I spent so many years not being allowed to talk about my relationship that it still feels really weird doing it.
TL:DR- relationships are hard and emotional baggage feels icky