When we got our bfp, I pretty much stopped everything except the prenatal, and maybe the D.
@businesswife When I read this my mind went to the "D." Since I've been pregnant I have not wanted the D at all.
LOL I'm glad I'm not the only one whose brain went there. I was thinking "I got all the D I wanted while TTC!"
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
Oh, just saw that you’re mostly using food to keep sickness at bay. Sorry my post is probably not that helpful then! I’m team keep doing whatever keeps your head out of the toilet.
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
LOL I'm just going to leave this right here... <img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/9f/5s6p44d0lr8l.jpg" alt=""> So yeah... if we could make a little whoopie over here.... that'd be great. :/
@BusinessWife I think women swing either way during pregnancy. They either want all the sex, or none of it. I've felt so gross since getting my BFP that H and I have had sex like 3 times, maybe? And I feel terrible because I know he's not at all turned off by me/changing body/pregnancy, but I'm either exhausted, nauseated, or bloated/gassy and I'm not looking to add any of the last two to the bedroom. Here's to hoping second tri sees a bit more action!
@nlc8424 last time the nausea was so all consuming that I didn't even think about sex. Like at all. And I mean like didn't think of not just that I thought and didn't want it, just literally never thought of it. Later I just had zero libido. It was so weird cause I'm normally really frisky and to feel absolutely nothing in regards to sex was just so strange. I think we had sex twice last pregnancy. It was fine but I would have enjoyed a foot rub more. I really couldn't say how I feel this time cause I haven't seen my husband since he impregnated me.
@stothi yeah toward the end of my first pregnancy I felt so large and so much pressure that it was not enjoyable at all. H was super antsy post partum but I was like "whoa I've got stitches from 2nd degree tears and an episiotomy, no thank you". It makes me sad for you that your H knocked you up and had to peace out! Hopefully you'll both want to be intimate once he's home again.
@nlc8424 pp amongst all my other issues, I was just dead tired. I remember one day saying to hubby that I was so tired I wanted to die, blah blah blah, exhaustion, blah blah blah. Anyhow, he replied that he wasn't really tired at all. I gave him a look that could have killed. Once I got my homicidal rage under some kind of control, I very calmly told him that meant he wasn't doing enough and I gave over so many tasks to him, zero fucks given about his full time work schedule. Weekends? Oh, those were his. I still got up with buddy during the night but come 5am Saturday & Sunday morning, I was off duty. The only reason I came out before like 2pm was to pump and eat. I'd nurse the baby if he was ready and could do it while I ate, but otherwise no. Only pumping and eating them back to bed. I don't remember what all else I declared was his job moving forward but he very quickly also become too tired for sex.
Ah @BusinessWife I know you and your H had quite the journey getting here, but if it's important to you and the maintenance of your relationship (and you feel up to it!) I'd have a convo with your H to discuss it. My H definitely thrives on physical contact and our relationship is much better when we can be intimate. Just some food for thought, I think it's a conversation worth having.
@nlc8424 So far any time we talk about it, he says he feels weird like it could hurt the baby. Not sure how to help him combat that feeling, tho, since he "knows" it wouldn't but.... :/
@businesswife We haven’t had sex since December either. Largely because I feel awful. We’ve both talked about how when we do have sex we’ll be thinking about how it’s “pregnancy sex” and there’s a baby in there. Hoping once I feel better and we get started that we’ll be able to get past that whole concept. Also, I’m terrified of spotting after sex. I know it’s normal and might happen but I know I’ll freak out anyway.
Could you try initiating with the hopes that he’ll get past it once he gets started?
@BusinessWife would it be helpful to have him come to your next OB appt and ask about that? Otherwise if you see a therapist for whatever reason, it might be good to discuss there. I definitely don't mean to push too many buttons, but I'd figure out how important sex is to you and your relationship since it doesn't always get a lot better once baby is out.
We have not had sex since early January. Mostly because I feel like crap and our schedules are completely opposite, but I am also just struggling to be in the mood. I don’t think anything is abnormal when you are pregnant as far as sex goes.
@SkilledSailor I am afraid of spotting after too, which makes me even more apprehensive.
@BusinessWife and @SkilledSailor The spotting is for real. It makes me sad, but at least I'm not surprised by it. It stops for me within an hour of being done with the deed, but it's a bit scary anyway.
@BusinessWife, I'd just strip down, hop in bed and tell him to shut up and get on. But I'm crude and my husband is used to me being too tired, too sick, and too touched out. Sweeten the deal with offers of his favorite foreplay and/or lingerie?
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
@BusinessWife How about suggesting non-penetrating play? Hopefully it gets so heated and YH gets really into it that sex naturally happens. Maybe that would kind of break down the barriers.. Even if he doesn't want to go all the way, at least you both get some jollies?
AFM, we've been having sex about once/week the last few weeks, but I've only been into it one of those times. I mostly just do it for DH. He also has been finding me even more attractive and loving my bigger boobs so that doesn't help keep his paws off me. LOL
Me: 34 | DH: 33 Married Aug. 2013 TTC #1 Sep. 2016 ***TW***
BFP Jan. 15, 2017; MMC Mar. 4, 2017 at 10w6d BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF. BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
PPs all gave good suggestions. As a last resort, I might mention (in as low-pressure manner as possible) that this is kind of the closest to “normal” sex that you’ll have for like a year+. Soon the belly will change what’s comfortable during sex and then eventually you’ll be trying to squeeze it in during nap times haha. It’s still doable (enjoyable even!) but it won’t be like it is now.
AND for any of you who are feeling an aversion right now, many say that second tri sex is amazing. I tend to agree. It’s not guaranteed of course, but if you’re feeling weird about sex now, it could change.
But I’m sending hugs to all those where this is a struggle right now. We had a 9ish week dry spell right after I got KU and I thought it would never end.
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
I'm finally getting my drive back, much to DHs pleasure. I was just so tired that the thought of losing sleep for sex wasnt at all appealing. I am probably the only one here who loved pregnant sex.....
Hopefully you ladies can get back on the....horse.... in the coming weeks.
@DanyTargaryen I am 11+ weeks and starting to feel better so I dialed back my diclegis and then realized that stuff helps me sleep so much better at night... so i took it again last night after 2 nights off. I have had a couple of bouts of nausea in the last couple of days off of it -but nothing terrible. that said, adding it back last night left me feeling good today
Does anybody work from home? Im starting to wonder if I should pick up some kind of side work to supplement income when Im home on maternity leave. I am a subcontractor with 3 months backpay, so 3 months after birth I will have monthly income (one check at the end of the month for prior services) but then with out clients for those three months, i would run into a 3 month period of no pay. I could save up, which I will do eithe rway, but was also thinking of some kind of at home job, like transcribing or blogging or something? I type like the dickens so was planning to ask my boss if I could transcribe for cash for the other therapists in our office but am worried if he says no what my options would be. Not really interested in any of the make up sales or home parties or candles etc.....what do you do?
ETA: i dont have specified maternity. if i dont work i dont get paid, so i take as much or little as i want. insurance is through DH work.
BFP #2 4/3/15= ectopic treated with methotrexate 5/1, YET ruptured 5/18/15= One Tube Wonder!
2 Cycles of Femara, Ovidrel, & Progesterone= BFP #3 DS born 5/17/16 TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free) BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17 BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!! DS and DD born 8/21/18
@Jyoung327 I would be careful committing to anything that requires much time. You never know how you'll feel after giving birth or what kind of baby you'll get. I had all kinds of plans for my maternity leave. My DS was of the opinion that sleep is for the weak from day 1. On top of a rough delivery that left me with a long physical recovery, most days I was lucky if I had the energy to feed myself. There's no way I could have done anything to bring in income. I would plan to be out of income and save for that. If you get lucky and have an easy baby and can do something, then that's a bonus.
@jyoung327 It's super hard to make money as a blogger and takes a LOT more work than one would think. However, some creative businesses hire people to write their blogs for them so that could be something to look into! Some other things you could consider is a virtual assistant or if you're good at it, social media manager for other business. I do work from home and do some of my business work during nap times when I nanny. It's doable but since I'm my own boss, I'm not stressed about when I do the work as long as it gets done. You'll want a job like that since you won't know for sure when you'll have time to do the work.
@Jyoung327 I’ve also heard that it takes tons of work and quite a while to turn blogging into a profitable venture. You may want to look into the site/app Upwork which I think is similar to Thumbtack where people post freelance type jobs and you could take on as many projects as you want to earn some side money. Then that way you aren’t fully committed to something long term. I remember being shocked at how quickly the days went by on mat leave. Time really gets away from you when you’re constantly feeding, changing diapers, or trying to get LO to sleep on their own
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
Does anyone know how accurate the "gender prediction quizzes" or the chinese gender predictor are.. We keep calling little love "he, him, his".. DH mentioned last night that I may just want to find out in case I'm too attached to the idea of little love being a boy. I was pretty set on being team green but now.. DH has almost convinced me to the other side and finding out.
Anyone seeing a massage therapist or chiropractor? This week has brought on sudden aches and pains and I’m desperate for relief. I also get chronic headaches and migraines and I’ve had a headache the past 4 days. Obvi can’t take my normal prescribed meds and pain killers. I’ve tried nearly every natural remedy I can think of for body aches/pains and headaches. A massage is the only thing remaining I can think of.
@smsaulino all the prediction stuff is just fun and games. I would not put an stock into any of it. But that's one of my reasons for needing to find out. I afraid to be attached to whatever sex I think baby is and then be "dissapointed" if I'm wrong.
@smsaulino all the prediction stuff is just fun and games. I would not put an stock into any of it. But that's one of my reasons for needing to find out. I afraid to be attached to whatever sex I think baby is and then be "dissapointed" if I'm wrong.
Yeah regardless of what the quizzes say, it’s a 50/50 chance either way (unless you did IVF with genetic testing, but then of course you’d know already!) If you think you might be disappointed with the outcome, I’d probably find out ahead of time so you can mentally adjust. Sometimes your intuition is right but not always.
LFAF Awards
me: 27 | husband: 35 IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16 baby #1born 2.19.16
Does anyone know how accurate the "gender prediction quizzes" or the chinese gender predictor are.. We keep calling little love "he, him, his".. DH mentioned last night that I may just want to find out in case I'm too attached to the idea of little love being a boy. I was pretty set on being team green but now.. DH has almost convinced me to the other side and finding out.
Definitely just for fun. The Chinese prediction chart was wrong for DS - it told me I was having a girl.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
@shouse11 I don't know where you are in your pregnancy but many massage places won't see you in your first trimester. I have been taking epsom salt baths for my back and headaches. Then last week had a nice pedicure. That massage chair for an hour was life.
Does anyone know how accurate the "gender prediction quizzes" or the chinese gender predictor are.. We keep calling little love "he, him, his".. DH mentioned last night that I may just want to find out in case I'm too attached to the idea of little love being a boy. I was pretty set on being team green but now.. DH has almost convinced me to the other side and finding out.
They have an accuracy level similar to that of Tarot cards, flipping a coin or randomly guessing.
@sheouse11. Sorry you're not feeling well. I did get a chair massage around 8 or 9 weeks and just didn't tell them. Whoops! But it was just a regular little hole in the wall place, and I kind of almost forgot to mention at first, but then it's true, too - while harmless - they might not do it at all for you in first tri. I personally am going to have to call around a bit to find a place that will do specifically prenatal massage. That's what I recommend, calling ahead and booking an apt so you're not disappointed if they tell you they can't treat you.
@shouse11 massages are perfectly safe throughout pregnancy but many places won’t see women in their first trimester for liability reasons (miscarriages are common in first tri and while a massage won’t cause one, they don’t want to be associated with one either). Look for a good prenatal masseuse in your area, otherwise, you may wind up with someone applying lotion for an hour and be disappointed.
@stothi Just wanted to follow up on Magnesium convo. Dr says up to 400 MG for anyone 31 and younger and up to 360 for anyone older than 31. She said it is a strange age cut off but she wouldn't worry too much about the dosage difference - that is just what her formal documentation noted so she shared it with me. I have been taking 400 and I am 36 and she said that was really nothing to worry about - but I am going to cut it back a bit just because I know now
@jyoung327 Before you get involved in any direct sales/multilevel marketing work from home stuff, make sure you do your homework. The FTC has good info. Many MLMs are predatory pyramid schemes, and sadly most people doing MLM direct sales make no profit. It's one thing if you like the product and sign on to purchase at a discount for yourself and friends, but it definitely is not lucrative on a per-hour basis for almost anyone.
My goal is to find a massage place with one of those “hole in the table” things to put my belly. Last pregnancy I had a third tri massage, which was nice, but I had to flip from side to side and all I longed for was to lay on my belly!!!
Also, for FTM who plan to breastfeed (and even to those who don’t, this applies for a short while), be prepared that belly lying won’t be possible for a long while. Your milk-filled boobs will prevent that! I was so sad when I realized this early on.
Re: Weekly Questions 2/25
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
<img src="https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/9f/5s6p44d0lr8l.jpg" alt="">
So yeah... if we could make a little whoopie over here.... that'd be great. :/
Could you try initiating with the hopes that he’ll get past it once he gets started?
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
@SkilledSailor I am afraid of spotting after too, which makes me even more apprehensive.
@BusinessWife, I'd just strip down, hop in bed and tell him to shut up and get on. But I'm crude and my husband is used to me being too tired, too sick, and too touched out. Sweeten the deal with offers of his favorite foreplay and/or lingerie?
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
AFM, we've been having sex about once/week the last few weeks, but I've only been into it one of those times. I mostly just do it for DH. He also has been finding me even more attractive and loving my bigger boobs so that doesn't help keep his paws off me. LOL
Married Aug. 2013
TTC #1 Sep. 2016
***TW***
BFP Jun. 5, 2017; MMC Aug. 2, 2017 at 11w6d
BFP Nov. 20, 2017; ended in CP
All the tests. Everything normal except treated for ureaplasma and DH potentially has high DNAF.
BFP Dec. 25, 2017; EDD Sep. 5, 2018; DD arrived Aug. 26th
My chart: https://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/63f71d
AND for any of you who are feeling an aversion right now, many say that second tri sex is amazing. I tend to agree. It’s not guaranteed of course, but if you’re feeling weird about sex now, it could change.
But I’m sending hugs to all those where this is a struggle right now. We had a 9ish week dry spell right after I got KU and I thought it would never end.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
Hopefully you ladies can get back on the....horse.... in the coming weeks.
I am 11+ weeks and starting to feel better so I dialed back my diclegis and then realized that stuff helps me sleep so much better at night... so i took it again last night after 2 nights off. I have had a couple of bouts of nausea in the last couple of days off of it -but nothing terrible. that said, adding it back last night left me feeling good today
I had to share this...watched it over and over and over myself. Bahaha
ETA: i dont have specified maternity. if i dont work i dont get paid, so i take as much or little as i want. insurance is through DH work.
TTC #2 March 2017 (initially med free)
BFP #4 8/14/17 *natural cycle* EDD= 4/25/18, MC @5-6w D&C 9/22/17
BFP #5 12/29/17 w/ Femara/Ovidrel/Progesterone/Synthroid, EDD= 9/11/18 found out 1/18 ITS di/di TWINS!!!
DS and DD born 8/21/18
I would plan to be out of income and save for that. If you get lucky and have an easy baby and can do something, then that's a bonus.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
If you think you might be disappointed with the outcome, I’d probably find out ahead of time so you can mentally adjust. Sometimes your intuition is right but not always.
me: 27 | husband: 35
IR PCOS dx Sept. 2014
married May 2015 --> started NTNP
BFP 6.28.15 - EDD 3.6.16
baby #1 born 2.19.16
TTC #2 in April 2017
BFP 12.30.17 - EDD 9.6.18
Fertility Friend Chart
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
Just wanted to follow up on Magnesium convo. Dr says up to 400 MG for anyone 31 and younger and up to 360 for anyone older than 31. She said it is a strange age cut off but she wouldn't worry too much about the dosage difference - that is just what her formal documentation noted so she shared it with me. I have been taking 400 and I am 36 and she said that was really nothing to worry about - but I am going to cut it back a bit just because I know now
Here's a dissertation chapter that looks at actual numbers: https://www.ftc.gov/sites/default/files/documents/public_comments/trade-regulation-rule-disclosure-requirements-and-prohibitions-concerning-business-opportunities-ftc.r511993-00008%C2%A0/00008-57281.pdf
Also, for FTM who plan to breastfeed (and even to those who don’t, this applies for a short while), be prepared that belly lying won’t be possible for a long while. Your milk-filled boobs will prevent that! I was so sad when I realized this early on.