I've been getting my son to preschool late basically everyday recently. They knew previously that he was having trouble sleeping and that he had started not cooperating in the mornings and that's why we started being a little late. Now we are late most of the time because I can't drag my pregnant butt out of bed in the morning and it has next to nothing to do with my child's behavior. FFC- I'm letting my toddler take one for the team and have made no effort to inform his teachers (yet) that's it's me and the pregnancy making us late for school and not my toddler's behavior.
I have a real confession, and even if I don’t get flamed, I think a lot of people will quietly judge or dislike me for this. I’ve been reading a ton of articles and supposedly this is a common thing, and it’s ok, and I’m supposed to talk about it. I was the smallest bit disappointed to find out that I’m having a boy rather than a girl. Yes, I am blissfully happy that I am having a baby, and I’ve been looking at adorable baby boy clothes and nursery ideas, and I am so excited to have a son...but part of me always wanted a little girl, and for my own mental health, I think I have to admit that I was a little disappointed when I found out. I feel like I’ve already failed as a mother because I felt this way, even for a moment
@ashh2018 I think it’s different to say “I’m sad that I’m having a boy” than “I’m sad I’m not having a girl”. It sounds like you mean the latter. You seem excited for your baby boy, just sad you’re not experiencing having a baby girl.
@ashh2018 you are not alone! My sisinlaw recently struggled the same way and only shared with a close friend or two, now that her little man is here she couldn’t be happier.
I will prolly be in the same boat if this is a girl... This is my last and I really want dh to have a son!
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@SkilledSailor you’re absolutely right, and I don’t know why I didn’t think to put it that way in my head. Changing that around does make me feel a little better.
everyday is pj day for dd and me... If we are not leaving the house, we don’t bother. I used to be so diligent about a morning routine and gettins us ready for the day... now we go outside to play and throw the snow clothes over the jammies. No one can tell I’m braless under a jacket anyways right?? I do tend to change before dh gets home...
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
@ashh2018 I cried for the first 48 hours after giving birth to DD because I wasn't having the son I'd always dreamed I'd have first. It doesn't matter if you find out now or at birth, you can still feel that same feeling. I can tell you now, a year in, I can't even imagine my daughter being a son and realize she is absolutely perfect for us and the perfect addition to our family. I hope for you it also gets better when this bundle gets here, but definitely allow yourself time to process it!
My fffc: I took today off work to just hang with DD after her tubes surgery yesterday. My mom asked if we wanted to come over for lunch and I lied about why we can't. Truth is, I'm really starting to show and haven't told anyone outside of H and my boss.
@ashh2018 completely normal! I had it in my head that first pregnancy was a boy and it took some time to process that she was a she. It wasn't that I didn't want a girl, I just always pictured my first being a little boy. Now of course I could imagine it any other way, but it took processing.
@ashh2018 I felt very similarly with my first, but for me I think it was more that boys were so unknown and scary (I have 2 sisters and no brothers). I never really connected with my pregnancy and it took time after he was born for me to be excited about him. Now, he’s my buddy, my perfect little guy who I am so in love with and I can’t imagine life any differently. Now that i’m having a girl all those fears of the unknown are creeping back in, even though I really wanted a girl this time! I think it’s totally normal, especially with your first, to feel the way you feel.
@ashh2018 no judgment from me! I've not been shy about admitting I would prefer another boy over a girl (really to the point of not wanting a girl.....). Don't feel bad. You envisioned a certain life and now it's changed. That's totally understandable.
Just thought of a super lame confession. I still look up how to spell February. It's a weird word y'all.
You are my people cause I do the same.
I also have problems with Wednesday.
@ashh2018 I felt very similarly after finding out I was having a boy last time. For some reason I was convinced it was a girl and I was so excited about that. It took me a few days to get excited about a boy. But now I can't decide if I hope the second is a girl or another boy.
@ashh2018 I've always for whatever reason envisioned having a girl first, 2 actually, and then a boy. Don't have the faintest idea where this idea came from, but there it is. My husband was taking a video of my reaction when I found out we were having a boy last time and I knew I looked disappointed and I threatened to kill hubby if he didn't erase that video immediately. My kiddo doesn't need to know that I had a moment of disappointment/need to mentally realign. Because my disappointment had nothing to do with him. Nothing. He's perfect. It took a few days/week or so to rewrite the story in my head but once I did, I started dreaming about my baby boy. I had a dream where he was a toddler maybe a year, year and a half, and he was brushing my hair. That's when it clicked and when I woke up I was 100% right and ready with the idea of my firstborn being a son. I'd like this one to be a girl. And if it's not a girl, I'd love another little boy. If it is another boy, since this will be my last, I'll be a little disappointed for a day or 2 or 3 and then I'll get back to just being excited for my tiny new human. The only time I judge gender disappointment is when the parent(s) can't/don't get over it. And sorry not sorry, (maybe this belongs in UO) I hate when people say they are trying for another kid cause they still want the sex of child they don't have yet and that they are done once they finally get the baby they actually want. As in if they have a girl next time they are stopping at 2, but if it's another boy they'll have 5 more to get to that girl. To me it makes those boys in the middle seem like collateral damage and I think that's pretty messed up.
@ashh2018 *Snip* My kiddo doesn't need to know that I had a moment of disappointment/need to mentally realign. Because my disappointment had nothing to do with him. *Snip*
I think this is what's most important. MIL is still to this day extremely vocal that she would have rather had a girl than a boy. H is an only child. Now she says she'd rather us have a girl than a boy. I will have NO problems shutting that down if she ever says anything like that to my child. Having a fleeting moment of sadness over the sex you aren't having is ok. Making your child feel bad about it is not.
@ashh2018 I was team green and really wanted a girl first, because I have never been around a boy child, pretty much at all. Well, it's a boy. Now, I had a violent traumatic birth and all I could think was how we were both victims, and I'm pretty sure that's the only reason that I didn't really have any mild disappointment even, because I was so focused on something else.
Every time he managed to pee across the room during diaper changes during the first few weeks though, I jokingly told him he'd be much less mess without a penis. Sometimes it wasn't as much a joke, at 3 am.
My confession, after a terrible night and a stressful morning, DS managed to pee through his diaper, covered his pants, and 6 layers of my own clothing on our way into the hospital for an appointment. I had no change, so after an hour of tests (and he's all good and totally discharged!) we had to leave with him in no pants and me smelling of pee. It's 39 F and drizzling...sigh.
_______________________________________________
Me: 33 DH: 32 Married 7/18/15 1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16 Team green turned BLUE! 2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18 Team green turned PINK! Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
Thank you everyone. @stothi your response, and dream about your little boy brushing your hair, is my new “why am I crying today” haha. I have friends who are boy moms and they have the cutest, sweetest, grossest mom stories, and I really can’t wait. I totally agree with not liking when ppl say that they’re basically trying until they get what they want.
ETA I sing the alphabet when I’m alphabetizing things.
@ashh2018 Is it humanly possible to "say" the alphabet? I can't do it. And I alphabetize daily (and multiples times a day most days).
Being a boy mom is totally gross (unless he's like my DS and kinda obsessed with being clean) but boys love their mamas in the most amazing way. It's priceless.
@danytargaryen Imma blame it on my southern accent but I do not pronounce either of those words the way they are spelled. I say Wednesday like "Whensday" and February like "Feb-u-wary".
@danytargaryen Imma blame it on my southern accent but I do not pronounce either of those words the way they are spelled. I say Wednesday like "Whensday" and February like "Feb-u-wary".
I don't pronounce them like that! I just sound them out like that for spelling purposes. Pronunciation they definitely come out more like Feb-u-ary and your Whensday.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________ MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks DS born 9/13/16 BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
Drove to a meeting and accidentally parked in the company President's parking space. Security called the person I was meeting with...who thankfully said it was NBD because he is in Florida on vacation.
Me: 32 DH: 32 BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012 BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
So I don't know whether to post this here or why my pregnant self is crying but here goes. My FFFC is that I really wish my mom would come over to vacuum my house and do some of our laundry without me asking her to. She did this fairly regularly during my first pregnancy without me asking and she made mention of it when I told her I was pregnant again that she would. I typically hate asking for people to do stuff like this for me, but our laundry is piling up and I don't have the time or energy to get it all done by myself. It's 100% ridiculous and selfish of me, but I kind of wish she would do what she says she would do every once in a while. Might be talking to H about hiring someone to do this for us on occasion... flame away, I know this is awful.
@nlc8424 eh, it's only mildly awful I figure if people offer it's ok to be a little bent out of shape if they don't deliver. If she hadn't offered, I'd think it was really presumptuous of you to want her to do those things, but she offered. I get real upset with people when they offer to help when my husband is traveling and then they don't. It's so much easier to know you are on your own from the beginning then to get your hopes up for help and be let down. As far as hiring someone goes, if you can afford it, do it. Do. It. When my son was about 4 months old we hired a morning nanny to watch him and help do dishes, baby laundry and clean the floors. It was a lot of money but it was a life and sanity saver worth every penny. My son doesn't freaking sleep and we were dying from exhaustion and drowning in house work we couldn't get to. Hiring help if you can afford is so very much worth it.
@stothi I completely agree that it's worth hiring when you can. My son is really low sleep needs and typically doesn't go to bed until 830 and is up by 630/645, and only naps an hour a day. So my time to get stuff done is extremely limited. When my mom regularly watched DS she would clean up around the house and do dishes and everything and I always told her to stop since she was doing enough already. She is going to come over this weekend to play with DS so H and I can clean, so that'll be good.
@ashh2018 with our first I really wanted a girl and DH really wanted a boy. It definitely took a few weeks for him to come around to the idea of having a daughter. Now that she is here and has a personality, he wants another girl “just like her.” I always wanted a girl and was worried that if we had a boy first, we could end up with 2-3 boys. Now my nephew keeps peeing through his diaper and all over everyone and my hope for a girl is even stronger.
my FFSC (at this point): I haven’t pointed it out to DH that even if we have another girl, it is highly unlikely that she will be just like DD. Also once every 2 weeks or so I get 2 pieces of salmon sushi and enjoy every single bite.
stothi
member
Re: FFCF 2/23
FFC- I'm letting my toddler take one for the team and have made no effort to inform his teachers (yet) that's it's me and the pregnancy making us late for school and not my toddler's behavior.
I have no confessions right now.
I will prolly be in the same boat if this is a girl...
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
everyday is pj day for dd and me... If we are not leaving the house, we don’t bother. I used to be so diligent about a morning routine and gettins us ready for the day... now we go outside to play and throw the snow clothes over the jammies. No one can tell I’m braless under a jacket anyways right?? I do tend to change before dh gets home...
bfp#1-10/29/12,EDD: 7/3/13. nothing found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 12/10/12. "Bean"
bfp#2-5/10/13! EDD: 1/18/14. "Peanut" Arrived 1/13/14. Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis
bfp#3- 9/26/14. EDD: 5/7/15. no heartbeat found @ 1st u/s, natural mc 10/23/14. "Little Bug"
**Psalm 139:16**
@ashh2018 I felt very similarly after finding out I was having a boy last time. For some reason I was convinced it was a girl and I was so excited about that. It took me a few days to get excited about a boy. But now I can't decide if I hope the second is a girl or another boy.
I'd like this one to be a girl. And if it's not a girl, I'd love another little boy. If it is another boy, since this will be my last, I'll be a little disappointed for a day or 2 or 3 and then I'll get back to just being excited for my tiny new human.
The only time I judge gender disappointment is when the parent(s) can't/don't get over it. And sorry not sorry, (maybe this belongs in UO) I hate when people say they are trying for another kid cause they still want the sex of child they don't have yet and that they are done once they finally get the baby they actually want. As in if they have a girl next time they are stopping at 2, but if it's another boy they'll have 5 more to get to that girl. To me it makes those boys in the middle seem like collateral damage and I think that's pretty messed up.
Every time he managed to pee across the room during diaper changes during the first few weeks though, I jokingly told him he'd be much less mess without a penis. Sometimes it wasn't as much a joke, at 3 am.
My confession, after a terrible night and a stressful morning, DS managed to pee through his diaper, covered his pants, and 6 layers of my own clothing on our way into the hospital for an appointment. I had no change, so after an hour of tests (and he's all good and totally discharged!) we had to leave with him in no pants and me smelling of pee. It's 39 F and drizzling...sigh.
DH: 32
Married 7/18/15
1st born at 35+4 on 6/6/16
Team green turned BLUE!
2nd born at 38+6 on 8/30/18
Team green turned PINK!
Due with #3 on 6/6/20 Team Green
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
ETA I sing the alphabet when I’m alphabetizing things.
Being a boy mom is totally gross (unless he's like my DS and kinda obsessed with being clean) but boys love their mamas in the most amazing way. It's priceless.
MMC 8/5/15 at 8 weeks
DS born 9/13/16
BFP 1/13/18 - EDD 9/20/18 - It's a boy!
BFP #1: 1/23/2012 DD: Born 9/20/2012
BFP #2: 12/30/2017 DS: Due 9/10/2018
As far as hiring someone goes, if you can afford it, do it. Do. It. When my son was about 4 months old we hired a morning nanny to watch him and help do dishes, baby laundry and clean the floors. It was a lot of money but it was a life and sanity saver worth every penny. My son doesn't freaking sleep and we were dying from exhaustion and drowning in house work we couldn't get to. Hiring help if you can afford is so very much worth it.
my FFSC (at this point): I haven’t pointed it out to DH that even if we have another girl, it is highly unlikely that she will be just like DD. Also once every 2 weeks or so I get 2 pieces of salmon sushi and enjoy every single bite.