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1st pregnancy, sick, and losing friends

knottie9338d45bfd79495fknottie9338d45bfd79495f member
in 1st Trimester
i wonder if I am an awful friend or if other people have experienced similar behavior? Not only have some of my good friends fallen off the planet, but out of the blue will say very judge mental rude things in regards to how my life will/has changed since becoming engaged and pregnant. Having severe morning sickness I am not always able to make and keep plans with friends, some do not understand. The others are judging ability to be a mother, and worried about my finances if I am a stay at Home Mom. I never discuss these things with anyone because it’s no ones business - but am taking it all to heart. Perhaps these are not true friends?
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Re: 1st pregnancy, sick, and losing friends

  • meggymemeggyme member
    knottie9338d45bfd79495f said:
    i wonder if I am an awful friend or if other people have experienced similar behavior? Not only have some of my good friends fallen off the planet, but out of the blue will say very judge mental rude things in regards to how my life will/has changed since becoming engaged and pregnant. Having severe morning sickness I am not always able to make and keep plans with friends, some do not understand. The others are judging ability to be a mother, and worried about my finances if I am a stay at Home Mom. I never discuss these things with anyone because it’s no ones business - but am taking it all to heart. Perhaps these are not true friends?
    I’m guessing you are the first of your friends to get engaged/pregnant. Unfortunately it gets harder to make/keep plans once the baby is here. Babies get sick, sitters fall through and plans have to change. I’d recommend trying to explain these things to your friends. The ones that are understanding are worth keeping around. Unfortunately they probably won’t all be that way and a lot of times it’s not worth the effort to force them to remain a part of your life. But as you move into this new phase of your life you’ll find new friends that might better understand what you’re going through and old friends that will soon join you on your married mommy path. Congratulations!
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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  • CecilB93CecilB93 member
    What @meggyme said, if they aren't understanding then they're not worth keeping around. Pregnancy is tough, and babies are even tougher when it comes to doing things. No you won't be locked away in your house all the time, DH and I still go out and do plenty of things with and without our son, but plans can change last minute due to unforeseen circumstances. If/when any of your friends have kids they'll understand, but I agree it sounds like you're probably the first of your friend group. Sorry you're going thru this! And you're right, finances are none of their business. If they bring it up just tell them it's not anything they need to concern themselves with, you have it under control. Hugs!! ❤️
    DS1 born 2/28/16
    DS2 due 12/12/18

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  • SaphireSweetie88SaphireSweetie88 member
    knottie9338d45bfd79495f said:
    i wonder if I am an awful friend or if other people have experienced similar behavior? Not only have some of my good friends fallen off the planet, but out of the blue will say very judge mental rude things in regards to how my life will/has changed since becoming engaged and pregnant. Having severe morning sickness I am not always able to make and keep plans with friends, some do not understand. The others are judging ability to be a mother, and worried about my finances if I am a stay at Home Mom. I never discuss these things with anyone because it’s no ones business - but am taking it all to heart. Perhaps these are not true friends?
    @knottie9338d45bfd79495f

    I am sorry to hear you're going through this. I went through this when I got engaged and again when DH and I became pregnant. Like PPs have said, if they're going to be like that, then don't waste your time. I wasted too much time trying with a "friend" who was acting like yours are and it caused far too much heartache and drama. Let go of the ones who want to leave, be thankful for the ones that are staying and look forward to the new mommy friends you'll make. Sending hugs
    Me:35 | DH: 32
    Married: 06-2024
    TTC #1: Since November 2015
    Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
         due to previous issues.
    ***TW***
    BFP: 11/4/2016 
    BFP: 07/17/2024
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  • rsaundrsaund member
    Really sorry to hear you are going through this, if you are the first out of your friends to go through this there is a general lack of understanding and empathy
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  • atj13neatj13ne member
    Sounds like you need some new friends!!! This sucks to go through, but real friends are supportive and will be there for you and excited for baby showers and bridal showers and weddings!! What an exciting time of your life for your friends to he behaving that way! Best of luck to you, i hope they are maybe just a little jealous and will get over it and come around to help you celebrate !
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