- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
July 2018 Moms
SmashJam
member
Mental Health Check In 2/7
SmashJam
member
***This thread has a general trigger warning.***
This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes.
Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in several dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health. Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports.
Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in several dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health. Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports.
This post can be replied to at any time during the next 2 weeks. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others.
Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort.
If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:
Mental health diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?
How are you feeling?
Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort.
If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:
Mental health diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?
How are you feeling?
Re: Mental Health Check In 2/7
I just need to go back to journaling and writing down some things I am grateful for every day and try and focus on the things I can control instead of what I am having trouble controlling. I just get sad about the fact that some couples have that relationship where they can share feelings and my husband thinks that my feelings are an attack on him...talking about how I feel just seems to make him feel inadequate and them we get angry. In times like these it makes me feel super sad that I just don't have anyone to talk to about these things.
Sorry for the book. Just having a hard day!
There must be something in the air today...my DH and I just got in a fight. It was over the dumbest thing...well, he made me feel like an insane person anyways. It's snowing where I am and my second job (teaching dance classes) didn't get canceled. My DH was like you should have told your boss to close and he would not let it go. Then, I started to feel like the crazy one for getting so worked up over the fact that I had to go to dance in the snowy weather. For some unexplainable reason, it escalated and I ended up yelling, crying, screaming in the bathroom. Then, because I was getting so upset, I started to feel anxious like the stress was hurting the baby and it got me in a full anxiety attack. I love my hubs, but sometimes he makes me feel like my anxiety is just me being dramatic or hormonal...then I start to question myself, too.
I have struggled with depression for a long time, stopped my meds before we started trying (2 years ago). I really thought it was going to be the depression that creeped up, but it is the anxiety. I have never had an anxiety problem, but the first tri it was really bad. It has gotten a little better the past weeks, but it surprised me. So for me it was definitely pregnancy related. DH has been really good, but we have had our spats as well. Anytime we fight, if I cry he gets super mad, like the only reason I'm crying is to make him feel bad. No... I'm crying bc I'm angry/upset/etc.
+1 for DH interpreting your feelings as an attack! In my experience I have found that the best way to approach talking about my feelings is to wait until the moment has passed, like if he's doing something that upsets me I try to not bring it up then because I think he gets more defensive that way. I wait until maybe an hour or so later or a day or two if it's something minor and then bring it up like it's my anxiety not his actions and then he's way more receptive to talking about what he can do to help me.
Anyways, my gripe for today is that my extremely toxic father (see my "ending toxic relationships before baby" thread for back story) whom I have not talked to since the events described in that thread texted me yesterday. We found out that we're having a boy yesterday and he must have seen the announcement on Facebook or maybe my grandma (his mom) told him but either way he texted me as if he could just gloss over everything that happened. "Congratulations, that's great news, any ideas on names yet?" Like I can't even wrap my head around how he thought it was okay to contact me after what he said, especially in such a casual way. Luckily DH was helpful in keeping me focused on our exciting news rather than letting me dwell on that text, because I definitely felt myself about to spiral
Sorry for the length, hope everybody's day gets better! ♡
Anxiety is back down to a 3 or 4 most days, which feels a heck of a lot better than the 9+ I felt like I was hovering at for a bit. It's been a little less cloudy and a couple sun breaks here the last couple of days, maybe that's what I needed? DH and I started a shared google doc for our to-do list, that seems to be helping too because his imaginary list of things to get done was not nearly as long as mine, so him being able to see everything has helped him understand. Maybe that won't work for everyone, but worth a shot?
DH is terrible about sharing his feelings, but I did finally get him to open up to me. Before our first ultrasound and NIPT back in December, evidently he was feeling chest pains because he was so anxious, but he wouldn't f'ing tell me about it. Only mentioning this because I thought he was just being cold, he wasn't, just did know how to communicate his feelings.
+1 for waiting until later to bring up things to DH, I have to give myself a cool off period so I can make sure I'm actually upset with something otherwise he also sees it as an attack.
@carsonraynee sorry about the toxic parent, you really don't need that. Your DH is right, keep focusing on the happy news. My toxic family member reached out to me after hearing through the grapevine I was pregnant and did the same thing. I've just ignored her texts, there isn't anyway to repair that bridge for me. Stand strong lady!
I totally get what you mean, I struggled with anorexia in high school and for awhile after. My pre-pregnancy weight was the most I've ever weighed (overweight) and it's because I'm so all or nothing with diet. If I try to lose weight I'm right back to counting calories and maintaining a dangerously low intake number and if I try to ignore my weight I end up bingeing. I can't find a happy medium and getting rounder has been a struggle but I'm loving this bump now and from what I saw in your bump picture earlier you look beautiful and perfect! I know it's hard to get yourself out of that self deprecating place but we are all standing behind you! ♡
But im feeling worthless as a person, a mother, a wife, a co-worker. And if I don’t do something I’m nervous how far “down” I will go.
I've been MIA for a week because I was taken to the ER last Monday night for severe vomiting, lightheaded, and weakness (couldn't stand up). Spent 9 hours there. Diagnoses with acute gastroenteritis.
Was at my psch earlier that Monday and had to run to the bathroom 5 minutes into our session to vomit. Was not fun at all!
My psych did put me back on lamictal since it has no known effects in the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. I have to build myself back up on it, however I'm glad I am able to get back on something to level out my moods, anxiety, and depression. He was really concerned with how I have been and believes the lamictal will help, even if on a lower dose. When I saw my ob 2 days later, she agreed it was the right thing to do. I'm also taking benedryl to help me sleep since I have not been sleeping well (chaos mind at night). Met with a new psychologist as well, which made me feel like I am on the right track to dealing with the trauma in the last year (brother diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer, miscarriage, dad dying, mother in law dying 2 months after my dad, husband going into deep depression). It's been a year. All I can say is I'm glad there are outlets to talk/type to someone and they listen.
Again, sending everyone hugs!!!
@carsonraynee thank you for your kind words and support I so appreciate it
To to be honest sometimes i do delay reading this post so i don’t have to think about how I’ve been feeling lately. But i love the support that is given on here.
I’m a bit disappointed with DH this morning but more than anything embarrassed and puzzled if i should try anymore with being intimate. Before DS i had no problem initiating and being confident to be silly about it. But since we had a few challenges since when we tried for DS (surgeries for endo, mc, months trying, stress of trying, pelvic rest, and ppd) I’ve lost a lot of my confidence and energy for it. Hopefully i don’t get too personal or tmi for ya but during this pregnancy I’ve woke in up in the mood and told DH. Keep in mind we haven’t done anything since conception. Well nothing happened in either instance. Just rolled over and fell back to sleep saying maybe later. Well of course I’m more exhausted later and DSs nap schedule is off that it doesn’t happen. I’ve dealt with sexual rejection before as well as abuse (previous relationships) that it’s turned me off for many years. Why do i try? I’m only gonna get rejected. Then i feel like a bad wife. Then he says I’m no longer affectionate or intimate when he is. My self image has changed and feeling like this doesn’t help.
Thanks for listening.
On my end, I've just been worrying like crazy. I feel like since pregnancy my depression has taken a sharp turn back into my life. Which causes me to worry about EVERYTHING. Am I eating enough, am I gaining enough weight, am I gaining too much weight? Why am I not showing at almost 19 weeks?
Everything worries me
I know my OB is there for the questions but I can't help but feel like an annoyance.
@babyrojas2018 don’t feel like annoyance! Your doc should always be there for you and if they are not then maybe a sign of finding someone more supportive. With DS i literally talked/saw my doc every two weeks most of my pregnancy. It was nice to get that super even though i felt like i bothered too much sometimes. But hey that’s why i paid her right!
I must be really sensitive today i guess. DH asked me to make DS lunch, i did but then he got distracted with a new toy daddy got him. Bad timing on DH but just felt hurt for doing the work and the food just sitting there. Just feel like crying over everything.
I have been having a lot of anxiety since the beginning of pregnancy but it's gotten worse lately. I keep convincing myself that something is wrong, even though there aren't any signs of this. I hope I'll feel better after my anatomy scan.
@hayhay93 so good to see you pop up! I've been thinking about you! So glad you two are able to talk more openly. I do caution you to guard yourself and your heart. Words are sadly cheap, change of actions and behavior much more difficult! I hope this is a wake up call for him to make some much needed changes while also a mental reprieve for you as well
@lindsayleigh1989 thank you and feel free to message me as well! I talked with DH a bit more and i hope he understood more of where my feelings came from. I just need him to accept my little efforts in order for me to feel like i getting better and be better in our relationship. If it’s a matter of feeling gross in the AM i get it but I’ll get up and brush my teeth if he wants lol.