@zamora_spin Thank you so much for the tips on the insurance/medical bills. I've always been pretty healthy and have never had to deal with calling insurance and paying huge medical bills, so this is all new to me. I really appreciate the advice! That's right, I remember you saying you had 3 months to go of trying, but I couldn't remember how many of those months had gone by already. I'm sure it's so difficult to get the thought of IVF out of your head when April seems to be looming closer and closer. I'm a planner at heart, so I'm sure I would be having the same thoughts.
@offtoneverland Yes, same, I am the uber planner. We have been trying since last March and it’s been hard to plan anything because of the rollercoaster of TTC, pregnancy and loss (I’m sure you know the feeling).
offtoneverland Unfortunately
DH has already made it quite clear that he’d rather not have kids than do IVF. His
words were something to the effect of, “IVF is the cost of a new car, and we
don’t even have a guarantee.” So apparently to him, a new car is superior to a
chance to have kids. So, at least we know where he stands? *sigh* (to be fair,
at the time he said it, his old car was having issues and he needed a new car.
Now he has the newer car, so I don’t know what he’d say now. But… grrr that he
compared a CHILD to a freaking car) Ugh… sorry your insurance isn’t paying for
the karyotyping. WHY is something like this ‘experimental’!?!? Just… how??? Stupid
insurance. I hate insurance. Maybe check to see how it was billed. Was it
billed under Infertility or Recurrent Pregnancy Loss or something? If not,
could it be?
zamora_spin
Fingers crossed you get PG and have a successful pregnancy before April! Some
of us RPL ladies need a win, since I feel we’ve ALL just been shat upon
throughout all of 2017.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
@CraftyG these anniversaries are so hard. Thinking of you @holly321 Hope you start feeling better soon! @acciocoffee the tww is brutal...I’m a poas er too, so I know how it is. The only way to not test is not have them... i try to limit to one a day @eleven_ so sorry for your losses... I really hope you got support through that sad anniversary last week.... I can’t even fathom @ChloandCoco ugh... I went through the whole not wanting to buy a special occasion dress last year and (tw) 2 miscarriages later I feel like 2018 I’m going to not plan in that way....It was torture. I’d rather have to get a dress altered. It would be awesome to have that be the reason to get a new dress @coco2787 someone was just telling me how great Coco was! @galactickates the tww is nuts.... so sorry you’re dealing with wonky tests @lokibear89 I had a similar thing happen after my first mc.... it sux and really threw my cycle off, but in fact my body didn’t really start recovering until after all the (tmi) products came out... so sorry @offtoneverland omg! So glad all is well with your sis!!!! @dpjennifer I am so so sorry your doctor was so insensitive.... I think when you get to 4 losses and nothing to show it’s just really hard. We’ve been to darker places than most ppl ever go. I’m right there with you. Sending comfort. @kindbytealikat so glad you’re feeling good enough to work out again... grieving is very weird. You can be strong one moment and then when you think you’re fine, wham, you break down. It’s totally normal. @zamora_spin I hope you can pick the best program. I agree that if it works one cycle it will still be worth it. I’ve done 7 cycles, so any break you can get is worth it!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 losses
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? At home recovering from uterine septum removal
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I guess I’ll find out in a couple weeks if this surgery was a success
GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend? I can’t even remember.... maybe moonlight?
@dragonette505 I was wondering how you were doing and how your surgery was. I thought I had seen it was laparoscopic but then I second guessed myself and never said anything. That's how they did my procedure. Even if it's not, recovering from any kind of surgery is crazy. I had so many emotions about that aside from everything else, it was my first. I hope you recover smoothly and quickly. And of course this does the trick for you! When is your post op apt?
@galactickates I was lucky and they didn’t need to put a camera in my belly button (that sounds so cray!) but I do have a gross balloon up there (eww) that they will take out Monday. Then I get a real deal post op on I think the 14th (nice v-day treat) . But I’m doing ok. I’m a little more “off” than after my fibroid removals.... luckily I took this week off! In a way it’s good to have down time... hopefully I can get myself in gear
@dragonette505 glad to hear the surgery went okay, I hope everything looks good at post op and recovery isn't too bad for you.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@dragonette505 So glad your surgery went well! I hope you recover quickly. That's so weird about having a balloon in you currently. Happy to hear you were able to take the week off to recover. @dpjennifer I wish I had something more productive to say than just "I'm sorry." It sucks that you and YH are not on the same page about having kids. I so hope you won't need IVF and you'll get your take home baby soon. ((hugs))
AFM: So I think my insurance may actually cover karyotyping. Aetna's website says they consider the karyotype test medically necessary for anyone with RPL, and it's included on the list of lab codes that are covered if certain criteria are met. So I'm hoping the lady on the phone yesterday just didn't know what she was talking about! I'll be awaiting a bill to see what happens...
@offtoneverland yes! Whenever I think of balloons it’s in reference to Birthday parties or something fun! Lol it’s very weird. So glad the karyotyping is covered for you! Mine was as well! I always check a million times with insurance too!
@dragonette505 So glad that your surgery went well and that you've got time to recover, i would personally use this as an excuse to get icecream/ duvet days/ your tv shows, it's all about self care haha @offtoneverland that's awesome, got my fingers crossed for you @dpjennifer That's such an awful position to be in and my heart completely goes out to you. It's so difficult because you both feel so strongly, have you thought of couples counselling at all? On the face of it it may be a money issue but that could be only part of what he means or is worried about.
*Another rant from me* So on top of my usual crappy January we've been thrown another curveball. I'm in my final year of nursing school and we were more than happy to get pregnant while i was finishing up the course, however now they don't have availability for me to come back (I stepped off after my first loss) until possibly September. Meaning that if i got pregnant now i would have to leave again immediatly after starting so we may have to take a break in TTC. Also we wouldn't get a good maternity package and honestly i've worked so hard to get this degree but all i've wanted more than anything since we lost our first is to hold our own baby in my arms and i just feel so angry that again me being a mother is being pushed back because of something out of our control. We're just processing this information and i need to come up with multiple plans of what our options are and when we could get pregnant etc. At the minute we're still trying until we basically decide on what our possible options could be. So yeah, that's my first month into 2018
dragonette505
Thank you. Yes, having multiple losses with no live child is such a dark place
to live in. The insensitive comment really threw me. I was crying and just
frankly let her know how it is. Hope your recovery is going well! Glad you were
able to take some time off for it.
offtoneverland
Fingers crossed they just didn’t code the karyotyping for RPL then! Hopefully
once they do all of that it will be easy-peasy!
CraftyG Thanks.
So far DH and I have worked through it. I mean, he did agree to go through all
of the testing and see an RE (which he never would have done if it were solely
his choice). So at this point, we’ve already ‘compromised’ in that we’ve done
the testing and tried to get an answer. It’s just hard because we have NO
answers… And sorry about the big decision you have to make about TTCAL and the
degree. It sucks to put your life on hold for TTC, when all you’ve received is
loss and heartbreak. Good luck making a decision!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
@dpjennifer I can understand that pain of uncertainty , the general concensus for me is that it should all be fine because we're young and 'at least we know we can get pregnant'. *Massive eye roll* Well i'm glad that you guys have already been able to compromise so well already, unfortunately it's something that you can't really compromise easily it's you either have a child or you don't. I hope that you guys can continue to move forward. Thank you we've got a lot to consider and at the end of the day if we're bringing a child into this world we have to be practical about it
@CraftyG ugh.... the uncertainty makes everything so much harder. Back in the day I tried to plan things but after so much time, I’m at the point of I’ll take a baby whenever I can get it . Hopefully it will work out for you better @dpjennifer I honestly feel like it’s probably better that we start letting people know how their remarks make us feel. That way they don’t destroy the next woman. It was brave of you to tell her!
I ran into a friend yesterday who’s pregnant and due in May, and I hadn’t seen her since she announced. I gave her a hug and told her congrats and I thought I was fine, but as soon as I walked away I just started crying. I was still pregnant when she announced her pregnancy and I had been really excited that we were going to have babies close in age. Having a pity party today.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@CraftyG I’m sorry you’re in limbo like that. I wish we could all have a crystal ball to know what the future will hold for us. It sucks that so much is out of our control and there’s no way to plan.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@coco2787 - I'm so sorry, Seeing those bumps are seriously a punch in the gut. I made the mistake of lurking my old bmb hdbd and it seriously depressed. They all have cute bumps and I'm just over here with my BFN pee sticks.
I lurk my old BMB too @galactickates, and then I want to kick myself because why am I doing this??
Speaking of pee sticks, I also have several BFP sticks from my loss that I can’t bring myself to throw away
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@coco2787, I am sorry. *Hugs*. @CraftyG, I am sorry you are faced with such a tough decision. @offtoneverland, I am glad your sister is fine! Hopefully the karotyping will be covered. I personally would call back and see if you can get a representative to agree it will be covered. If it is denied, you can fit the claim easier. @kindbytealikat , grief is strange. I have mixed feelings between wanting everyone to act like nothing is wrong and then being annoyed if they do. TW, I am sorry it is hard with your DS talking about your loss. Mine bring it up every now and then it is still hard. Or feel the need to tell random people that we are not longer having a baby.
@dpjennifer, good for you for telling her how it is. I agree with @dragonette505, I stopped sugar coating things for the sake of others.
AFM, thank you everyone. I found out Tuesday that I am getting the job. I am a bit terrified, but I think I will love it! I made the realization a few days ago that the BCP is not what is making me nauseous, it is my autoimmune meds. I realized I was on day 2 of sugar pills with my BCP, and was still getting really nauseous in the morning. I still plan to see if I can stop taking them. I am really crampy today, which is really messing with my mind, since cramps remind me more of pregnancy than a period, but maybe I am actually getting a period, which is almost exciting even if I am only getting it from the BCP, but it makes me hopeful that the Depo shot is out of my system.
@holly321 Are you able to take a different autoimmune med that won't make you nauseous? I'm sorry about your cramping. Hopefully it's the sign of a period! So glad you don't have to take depo anymore. I just talked to my sister and got her advice about my insurance issue. I'm going to call tomorrow morning and see if they give me a different answer. To be honest, I know absolutely nothing about insurance or how things are coded. Since I joined the military right after high school, I never had to deal with insurance or learn how any of this worked, and I still haven't learned it apparently. I've found tons of different codes for the karyotype test, so I'll write them all down and see if one of them is covered. Sorry for all my ranting about insurance, it just really confuses me and I thought it would be easier to find out if something was covered. @coco2787 Hugs to you, friend. It's so hard when you want to be happy for someone, but you're also fighting jealousy at the same time.
@dpjennifer I agree.... rpl ladies need a win in 2018! @coco2787 ugh.... that’s the hardest.... the women who were pregnant during my pregnancies (and subsequent mc’s) I always remember.... and oddly still avoid. Even all this time later. I think it’s so normal to feel this way, though. Sending hugs! @holly321 hmmm how long have you been on the autoimmune meds? Sometimes there’s an adjustment period when you start.... maybe the nausea will decrease?
@offtoneverland, @dragonette505, this particular one is new, and is working great. Honestly, I think I am not eating enough when I take it, which I didn't notice when I first started, because I was still getting chemo and was better about eating breakfast, plus nauseous all the time anyway, so since the BCP was my newest and the nausea seemed new, I assumed it was the issue.
Good morning, everyone! I called my insurance just now and they said the karyotype test is covered! Woo hoo! Thank you to @holly321 for convincing me to call them again. I just finished my HSG as well and it was so much easier than I expected. The doctor said everything looked good too. Hope you all have a very happy Friday!
coco2787 I have
ALL of my BFP tests. They’re the only things I have from my PGs that prove I
was actually even PG. I used to have them in a drawer in my bathroom, but DH
has put them in a box somewhere in the basement. (my shrink was concerned they
may be ‘triggering’ to me and I think was afraid I would regularly pull them
out and stare longingly at them, which is NOT the case. But whatevs)
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks) MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks) MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP) RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017 MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP) RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017 MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023. Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing. Surgery for endometriosis January 2024 Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
@holly321 congratulations on the new job that’s amazing! Hope that the nausea gets better, if it’s bad I’m sure that your doc won’t mind prescribing anti sickness meds as it’s such a common issue. @offtoneverland Well done for ringing again I’m so glad that it’s covered, one more piece of the puzzle getting sorted for you! @coco2787 I still have all my BFPs dotted around, funnily enough I found one the other day and it must have been so long that the lines have started to fade. Such a strange feeling.
And thank you everyone for your kind words, it’s so difficult to consider talking a break from TTC when it’s all you’ve been focused on for so long. I also know this sounds crazy but I’m sure that I’m going to have one more loss before we get our take home baby so part of me is just like well what’s the point of stopping but obviously that’s just my overactive brain! Well I’m getting drunk tonight for a friends birthday and then we’re off on holiday on Monday so I think that’s perfect timing!
Well, it looks like I jumped the gun too early. Two days a vvf positives and today it was negative. *note to self, wait until betas come back before joining bmb*
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@CraftyG how long of a break will you have to take? And I am sorry you feel like you will have another loss, I *knew* my second pregnancy would be a loss, well before I planned my pregnancy.
Re: TTCAL 29th January
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
offtoneverland Unfortunately DH has already made it quite clear that he’d rather not have kids than do IVF. His words were something to the effect of, “IVF is the cost of a new car, and we don’t even have a guarantee.” So apparently to him, a new car is superior to a chance to have kids. So, at least we know where he stands? *sigh* (to be fair, at the time he said it, his old car was having issues and he needed a new car. Now he has the newer car, so I don’t know what he’d say now. But… grrr that he compared a CHILD to a freaking car) Ugh… sorry your insurance isn’t paying for the karyotyping. WHY is something like this ‘experimental’!?!? Just… how??? Stupid insurance. I hate insurance. Maybe check to see how it was billed. Was it billed under Infertility or Recurrent Pregnancy Loss or something? If not, could it be?
zamora_spin Fingers crossed you get PG and have a successful pregnancy before April! Some of us RPL ladies need a win, since I feel we’ve ALL just been shat upon throughout all of 2017.
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
**shouts at sky and shakes fists**
CAN YOU THROW US A BONE IN 2018???
@holly321 Hope you start feeling better soon!
@acciocoffee the tww is brutal...I’m a poas er too, so I know how it is. The only way to not test is not have them... i try to limit to one a day
@eleven_ so sorry for your losses... I really hope you got support through that sad anniversary last week.... I can’t even fathom
@ChloandCoco ugh... I went through the whole not wanting to buy a special occasion dress last year and (tw) 2 miscarriages later I feel like 2018 I’m going to not plan in that way....It was torture. I’d rather have to get a dress altered. It would be awesome to have that be the reason to get a new dress
@coco2787 someone was just telling me how great Coco was!
@galactickates the tww is nuts.... so sorry you’re dealing with wonky tests
@lokibear89 I had a similar thing happen after my first mc.... it sux and really threw my cycle off, but in fact my body didn’t really start recovering until after all the (tmi) products came out... so sorry
@offtoneverland omg! So glad all is well with your sis!!!!
@dpjennifer I am so so sorry your doctor was so insensitive.... I think when you get to 4 losses and nothing to show it’s just really hard. We’ve been to darker places than most ppl ever go. I’m right there with you. Sending comfort.
@kindbytealikat so glad you’re feeling good enough to work out again... grieving is very weird. You can be strong one moment and then when you think you’re fine, wham, you break down. It’s totally normal.
@zamora_spin I hope you can pick the best program. I agree that if it works one cycle it will still be worth it. I’ve done 7 cycles, so any break you can get is worth it!
Introduce yourself and anything you think is important: number of loss(es), when you had the loss(es), diagnosis / conditions surrounding loss, etc. 4 losses
Status: benched
How are things going? What is something that you are struggling with this week? What is going well for you this week? R/R? At home recovering from uterine septum removal
Any testing coming up/any recent results? I guess I’ll find out in a couple weeks if this surgery was a success
GTKY: What was your favourite new movie/movies that you saw in 2017 that you would recommend? I can’t even remember.... maybe moonlight?In a way it’s good to have down time... hopefully I can get myself in gear
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@dpjennifer I wish I had something more productive to say than just "I'm sorry." It sucks that you and YH are not on the same page about having kids. I so hope you won't need IVF and you'll get your take home baby soon. ((hugs))
AFM: So I think my insurance may actually cover karyotyping. Aetna's website says they consider the karyotype test medically necessary for anyone with RPL, and it's included on the list of lab codes that are covered if certain criteria are met. So I'm hoping the lady on the phone yesterday just didn't know what she was talking about! I'll be awaiting a bill to see what happens...
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
@offtoneverland that's awesome, got my fingers crossed for you
@dpjennifer That's such an awful position to be in and my heart completely goes out to you. It's so difficult because you both feel so strongly, have you thought of couples counselling at all? On the face of it it may be a money issue but that could be only part of what he means or is worried about.
So on top of my usual crappy January we've been thrown another curveball. I'm in my final year of nursing school and we were more than happy to get pregnant while i was finishing up the course, however now they don't have availability for me to come back (I stepped off after my first loss) until possibly September. Meaning that if i got pregnant now i would have to leave again immediatly after starting so we may have to take a break in TTC. Also we wouldn't get a good maternity package and honestly i've worked so hard to get this degree but all i've wanted more than anything since we lost our first is to hold our own baby in my arms and i just feel so angry that again me being a mother is being pushed back because of something out of our control. We're just processing this information and i need to come up with multiple plans of what our options are and when we could get pregnant etc. At the minute we're still trying until we basically decide on what our possible options could be. So yeah, that's my first month into 2018
dragonette505 Thank you. Yes, having multiple losses with no live child is such a dark place to live in. The insensitive comment really threw me. I was crying and just frankly let her know how it is. Hope your recovery is going well! Glad you were able to take some time off for it.
offtoneverland Fingers crossed they just didn’t code the karyotyping for RPL then! Hopefully once they do all of that it will be easy-peasy!
CraftyG Thanks. So far DH and I have worked through it. I mean, he did agree to go through all of the testing and see an RE (which he never would have done if it were solely his choice). So at this point, we’ve already ‘compromised’ in that we’ve done the testing and tried to get an answer. It’s just hard because we have NO answers… And sorry about the big decision you have to make about TTCAL and the degree. It sucks to put your life on hold for TTC, when all you’ve received is loss and heartbreak. Good luck making a decision!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
Thank you we've got a lot to consider and at the end of the day if we're bringing a child into this world we have to be practical about it
@dpjennifer I honestly feel like it’s probably better that we start letting people know how their remarks make us feel. That way they don’t destroy the next woman. It was brave of you to tell her!
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
Speaking of pee sticks, I also have several BFP sticks from my loss that I can’t bring myself to throw away
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@CraftyG, I am sorry you are faced with such a tough decision.
@offtoneverland, I am glad your sister is fine! Hopefully the karotyping will be covered. I personally would call back and see if you can get a representative to agree it will be covered. If it is denied, you can fit the claim easier.
@kindbytealikat , grief is strange. I have mixed feelings between wanting everyone to act like nothing is wrong and then being annoyed if they do. TW, I am sorry it is hard with your DS talking about your loss. Mine bring it up every now and then it is still hard. Or feel the need to tell random people that we are not longer having a baby.
@dpjennifer, good for you for telling her how it is. I agree with @dragonette505, I stopped sugar coating things for the sake of others.
AFM, thank you everyone. I found out Tuesday that I am getting the job. I am a bit terrified, but I think I will love it!
I made the realization a few days ago that the BCP is not what is making me nauseous, it is my autoimmune meds. I realized I was on day 2 of sugar pills with my BCP, and was still getting really nauseous in the morning. I still plan to see if I can stop taking them.
I am really crampy today, which is really messing with my mind, since cramps remind me more of pregnancy than a period, but maybe I am actually getting a period, which is almost exciting even if I am only getting it from the BCP, but it makes me hopeful that the Depo shot is out of my system.
@coco2787 Hugs to you, friend. It's so hard when you want to be happy for someone, but you're also fighting jealousy at the same time.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
@coco2787 ugh.... that’s the hardest.... the women who were pregnant during my pregnancies (and subsequent mc’s) I always remember.... and oddly still avoid. Even all this time later. I think it’s so normal to feel this way, though. Sending hugs!
@holly321 hmmm how long have you been on the autoimmune meds? Sometimes there’s an adjustment period when you start.... maybe the nausea will decrease?
Hope you all have a very happy Friday!
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
coco2787 I have ALL of my BFP tests. They’re the only things I have from my PGs that prove I was actually even PG. I used to have them in a drawer in my bathroom, but DH has put them in a box somewhere in the basement. (my shrink was concerned they may be ‘triggering’ to me and I think was afraid I would regularly pull them out and stare longingly at them, which is NOT the case. But whatevs)
holly321 Congrats on the job!
MC #1: D&C Oct 23, 2015 (7.5 weeks)
MC #2: July 1, 2016 (5.5 weeks)
MC #3: October 17, 2016 (CP)
RE #1: RPL testing November 2016-January 2017
MC #4: Feb. 28, 2017 (CP)
RE #2: Additional RPL testing March-November 2017
MC #5: January 2019 (6.5 weeks)
RE #3: More testing 2023.
Egg Retrieval Sept/Oct 2023, 2 good embryos after PGT-A testing.
Surgery for endometriosis January 2024
Lupron Depo March 2024. Benched 3 months. Hopefully FET after that.
#BitterHagPartyOf1
HX
DSD: 17
DS: 4(Nov'14)
MMC:8/17
MMC: 1/18
BFP: 2/7/19 EDD:10/16/19
Tickers
@offtoneverland yay!! So glad it’s covered!
@offtoneverland Well done for ringing again I’m so glad that it’s covered, one more piece of the puzzle getting sorted for you!
@coco2787 I still have all my BFPs dotted around, funnily enough I found one the other day and it must have been so long that the lines have started to fade. Such a strange feeling.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@offtoneverland , that is great news!
@CraftyG how long of a break will you have to take? And I am sorry you feel like you will have another loss, I *knew* my second pregnancy would be a loss, well before I planned my pregnancy.
Today is the 6th anniversary of my 1st loss.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018