PGAL 1/31

elsieisamoocow · January 2018

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

4. When is your next appointment?

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot?

harleyquinn0621 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 9w6d

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I am beyond tired.. like it is seriously hard to get through the day at work

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? i'm actually not anxious but it's mostly bc my mind doesn't believe i'm actually going to get to bring home a baby

4. When is your next appointment? 02/02 for a growth scan

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) My SIL is also pregnant and due a month before I am. She told us before announcing because we had two losses last year and she wanted to be sensitive- so we let her know we were also pregnant. My husband wants to wait until she announces before we do, so we don't spoil it for her. But she keeps putting off announcing- which is totally her right.... but i want to just announce then if she isn't going to any time soon.....i told my husband to tell her we should just do a double announcement to his family lol.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? not really a spot, but my dream vacation is an around the world cruise

elsieisamoocow · January 2018

@harleyquinn0621 I totally understand the not believing you’ll actually bring home a baby feeling. Do you have any living kiddos? Sorry if you’ve mentioned this before, I just joined the group so I’m catching up.

harleyquinn0621 · January 2018

@elsieisamoocow no worries at all- i'm new to the BMB. I was in TTC after 35 and then when i got pregnant i wasn't sure if i was ready to participate in the BMB, i'm hoping by participating i'll be able to start getting excited

this is my 4th pregnancy and no living children

elsieisamoocow · January 2018

@harleyquinn0621 Well congrats! I hope this baby is sticky and healthy! This is my 4th pregnancy as well, though I have a (formerly preemie) rainbow son from my 2nd pregnancy. Hopefully this will be a long and uncomplicated 9 months for us

harleyquinn0621 · January 2018

@elsieisamoocow thank you! me too

fishee333 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 12 weeks. I got great news on my blood work and NT scan - no signs of t21 which my loss had. Next milestone is making it past 16 weeks

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Super tired and I have to pee ALL the time. Saw my Dr yesterday and I don't have a UTI, she said it's probably because the baby is pushed up against my bladder and should go away in a week. Ugh.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Way better after finding out baby has no markers for genetic disorders. But still anxious. DH is ready to announce the pregnancy but I'm still worried we will jinx something if we do.

4. When is your next appointment? Not until March 6

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) A homeless guy is yelling/cussing outside of my house and woke up DD from her nap. WTF. I love and hate living in this city.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? Anywhere tropical.

jewelzy11 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 13w5d

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? better, still get yucky at night. I don't feel terrible, just not like myself.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? My anxiety is getting better, especially since the genetic testing came back good and that I found out I was having a girl! I am just anxiously waiting now until I can feel that kick!

4. When is your next appointment? 2/12

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) My ex husband has 3 kids, whom are 20,22,24. I am still very involved in their lives, was with them for 8 years. But, my step daughter is pregnant, and she is 5 weeks ahead of me. She has announced, I have not.... I am going to have a grandbaby 5 weeks older than my daughter...(I am 39 BTW) I am almost dreading my announcement, because of how weird this is.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? a beach!

hezzer78 · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 11 weeks. Both my previous losses happened around 7 weeks, so making it this far is a milestone.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Very little, actually. I did have really sore boobs and a little queasiness, but that's pretty much gone.. my boobs are only slightly sore.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Pretty much through the roof. Getting a cerclage next week and I'm really nervous. And I had my NIPT draw on Monday, so I'll be a basket case until those results get in too.

4. When is your next appointment? 2/6 for OB, 2/8 for high risk, then cerclage on 2/9.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Not much - a little upset that my doctors are telling me different things regarding what I'm allowed to do and not do. Gonna try to get more clarification next week.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? Probably somewhere exotic and full of history - like Thailand or Egypt or India.

elsieisamoocow · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 13 weeks today!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Tired, a bit nauseous, but pretty good overall. My boobs are hurting like a bitch though. I'm also having some RLP that feels like someone is stabbing me right on top of my pubic bone on the left side. Super fun!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Decent. Now that I'm in the 2nd tri I'm relaxing a bit, but because I have had so many issues in the past, I really won't take a deep breath until I'm past 24 weeks. 11 weeks to go.

4. When is your next appointment? Had a quick one today, and will draw for the NIPT next Thursday. Also will be seeing a high risk doctor soon. Just waiting on that referral.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) Please don't judge me for this. I had a pretty hard time when we found out that DS was a boy. I had always pictured myself with a girl first, and after we got pregnant with our little girl first, found out that she was a girl, were over the moon, and then lost her, finding out that he was a boy almost felt like another loss. The loss of a dream, I guess. Of course, I love him more than anything in the world, and he's a total mama's boy which is amazing, but because of all of my pregnancy issues, this is most likely our last baby (provided it survives), and I'm kind of terrified that it's another boy. Our miscarriage last year was also a girl, so now I've lost both of my girls, and if I don't get to actually raise one I think I'll be crushed. If it does end up being a boy I think I would want to explore adoption in a few years and adopt a little girl, but I don't think my husband would be too into that idea since he's only ever wanted 2 kids, and it's so expensive. I don't know. Sorry this is such a dear diary post, I just need to get the feelings out. On one hand, I'd love DS to have a best friend and sidekick, as he's already going to be the BEST big brother, but I really just hope with everything I have that this rainbow is a girl...

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? I would love to take a year off and travel Western Europe from top to bottom.

windywoman · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 10 weeks 6 days. I am a week farther than I have ever been before!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I have good days and bad days. I mostly feel worse in the evenings. Heartburn is back with a vengeance!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? I am still really nervous all the time! I feel that at anytime something bad could happen.

4. When is your next appointment? Next Thursday the 18th.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I feel pretty good but, I feel like I can't let me guard down. I feel like if I get too happy or excited it will be taken away.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? I don't really have a dream spot but I would love to travel way more than we do.

redheadbride15 · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 10 weeks 5 days. I had my first OB appointment yesterday and heard a heartbeat! So sweet.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Not too many symptoms at all this pregnancy, but just enough to know something's going on. A bit of fleeting nausea, and my boobs are killing me.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Much better after yesterday's appointment, but I'm nervous about upcoming cfDNA testing and ultrasound at 12 weeks. I'm significantly AMA (40) so that will be a major milestone.

4. When is your next appointment? Mon Feb 12.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here). I had a weird experience at my OB office yesterday when I noticed in my chart they have me recorded as "G2P1", meaning this is my second pregnancy and I've had one birth. So in other words they didn't have my loss recorded (I was not seen in that office when I had my m/c). I kept thinking someone would ask me if I'd had any other pregnancies but no one did, and I couldn't bring myself to bring it up. I know I should tell them, but I'm not sure how/when to do it. It feels easier to ignore right now.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? MOUNTAINS! Preferably big ones.

@elsieisamoocow it's okay to have those feelings about the fetal sex. I think they're entirely justified and so important to recognize. But I'm also pretty confident that you'll work your way through them and love this baby with all your heart regardless of what happens.

@Brezzy1928 I totally get the feeling of not being able to let your guard down. I'm that way for a lot of reasons... personality type, my job (I do research on birth defects so I see lots of bad outcomes), as well as history of miscarriage. It's a constant battle to allow myself to enjoy a pregnancy.

AEmily · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 10 weeks, I’ve had 2 US’s already and have seen the heartbeat both times! I’ve had 4 miscarriages and 1 ectopic but all before 9 weeks. My DD is 2!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Pretty good, get really nauseous if I don’t eat/snack often, but most of my Morning nausea went away this week. Makes me nervous but OB said it’s about the time the placenta starts to take over and help elevate some sx.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Mostly fine because I’ve seen the heartbeat twice and as recent as last Friday, but probably still be uncertain until I can feel baby moving!

4. When is your next appointment? 2/12

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) honestly, nothing today that comes to mind

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? Somewhere in the islands where the hut is over the water!

harleyquinn0621 · February 2018

ultrasound went well today! 10w1d baby was moving like crazy

next appointment will be on 02/19 which is my, precerclage appointment ... another ultrasound and some blood tests to make sure there are no infections before they place my cerclage at 14w

also had blood drawn for the Panorama screening today. DH and I are still unsure if we want to find out the gender or wait until the baby is born

pghctwife · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 13w1

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Crappy! Lol. Morning sickness seems to have picked back up a bit lately

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

Much better at each check. Anxiety before, but it’s lessening each time. I had my nt scan on Monday and she was measuring BIG and heart beating away, wiggling. My losses were missed mc when baby died around 7w so the fourth I am from that the more I feel secure that this time is different.

4. When is your next appointment? Tuesday for my prenatal. I’m a bit off kilter from the normal schedule.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) as I feel more and more confident in this pregnancy I’m so looking forward the kicks, to the legit big ol belleh, mayyyybe a decline in the ms (but if not, I can deal). This is my last baby and after all the loss and sadness, the worry early on... I want to soak it in and enjoy it. The kicks are the best thing in the world and I am so looking forward to them... to sharing them with my kids... ahhhh now I’m crying

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot? No idea. Vacations are so far from us right now, which is fine.

pghctwife · February 2018

@elsieisamoocow I feel you. I always imagined myself a girl mom. I’m girlie, I have sisters who are along with my mom my bffs. And... I had 3 boys. I never knew the sex of the babies I lost but I was certain to my bones that the first was a girl, and I felt so similar.

I had some gd after my 3rd - dh didn’t want more. And the little as of the daughter you hoped for is so hard.

I tried not to even think about it this time and time and found out the sex as early as we possibly could so I didn’t get my hopes up. I was always jealous of the all boy moms who only ever wanted boys - if that makes sense.

Inhope you have a girl - and I hope you can try to find peace perform and after.

elsieisamoocow · February 2018

@pghctwife Thank you! Congratulations to you! I have always been a mommy's girl, so I definitely hope I can experience that with my own. The one thing I keep coming back to if we never have a living girl is that my husband will never be able to walk our daughter down the aisle on her wedding day. For some reason that is one thing that stings. But the bonus of being a boy mom is I get to dance with my son on his wedding day, I suppose. I just want to know!

pghctwife · February 2018

@elsieisamoocow that was on my list too. Also, French braids bc I actually am good at them, my old saved American girl dolls, Anne of green gables and little women.

Truly those were the top of my list. I totally totally get it.

coffeecocktailsandcake · February 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

13w 6d. I've been MIA for a while! Thought I'd stop by here before exploring random.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? I still have nausea if I don't take diclegis. Other than that, fine. My energy has finally come up a little and I went back to the gym this week. I don't have near as much of an appetite as I did with my son, but I'm still eating.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? After making it past 12 weeks I'm feeling better anxiety wise about PGAL stuff. Oddly though I'm having a minor resurgence of daily anxiety. I had bad ppd so I'm a little worried, I'm asking for a new referral to mental health at my next appt

4. When is your next appointment? Valentine's day Oh! But this week we're finding out the gender at a storefront ultrasound place!!

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) We told our families last week. Im annoyed at his mom because she inaccurately congratulated me on my conception date and I wanted to correct her and say "Actually it didn't happen then.". Also rant, I haven't gained weight yet but my ass is bigger and I had to buy the big girl panties this week.

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation. At this point in my life I would say the beach. Alone.

juliebleu · February 2018

Harleyquinn0621 I totally fet the not being nervous because you don’t believe a take home baby can happen. I am actually right there with you. Trying to fake it till I make it, though, starting today.

Fishee333 yay on a good NT scan!!!!

Jewelzy11 congrats on a good screen and on having a girl!!! I am totally waiting for that first kick. Every pop or flutter of gas I’m like: baby? Then I fart- nope.

Hezzer78 I will be thinking of you and sending good vibes for a good surgery and speedy recovery.

Elsieisamoocow I don’t judge when people wish for a certain gender. It is human to dream. Will your NIPT tell you the gender? Hopefully you will find out one way or the other soon.

Brezzy1928 Congrats on making 11+ weeks!!! I totally get the worry about being happy and having it stolen. I have totally been in denial. Trying to be brave and just enjoy this pregnancy. And I am scared sh1tless to tell my family but I think it is time.

Redheadbride15 I would tell them. Maybe call and leave a message on the nurse line? Their advise and interactions will be a bit different knowing your history.

AEmily: congrats on getting past your previous losses and for U/S with heartbeats!

Pghctwife hugs on the last pregnancy. This will be my last as well, no matter how it turns out. I cannot wait for movement- I forgot to ask last appointment, but hoping I don’t have an anterior placenta again. I want movement and I want it soon!

Coffeecocktailsandcake I need to go back to the gym... and yay about finding out gender!!!! I was thinking of being team green- but changed my mind- I want to find out asap. Not sure if we have any places near us that do scans sooner than 16 weeks, though. I need to research. And I totally get the alone on the beach thing.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? Yes- officially past when I had all my M/C’s as to how far along I am- see rant. Somewhere between 13-14 weeks

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)?

Sore boobs, hungry and dense/ pressure feeling in lower abdomen when I sit/ squat

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)?

Yesterday would have said I was in denial. Today I am hopeful. Found Heartbeat on my home doppler for the first time and I decided it is time to fake it till I make it with being excited about this pregnancy.

4. When is your next appointment?

Friday- and I am going loaded with questions. Last time I didn’t bother asking any because: denial.

5. Rants/raves/whatever: i want to talk due date. By my calculations (I used sympto-thermo method) I was due on August 9th. By my dating ultrasound I was due August 9th. But according to my midwife (she did apologize and say it is policy) I am due August 5th. The only problem is I went 2 weeks past due with my daughter and totally would not be surprised if I was past due again. Now- I don’t want to be induced just because of a date on a calendar. So- next appointment I am totally going to beg to have my official due date changed to the 9th- do you think I’ll get push back on this? Should I bring in my textbooks and research articles that say going by O date and ultrasound is more accurate than LMP? Or should I not raise a stink and be happy to be a half week “farther” along?

6. GTKY: What’s your dream vacation spot?

I have never been there but I believe it to be New Zealand. I have been obsessed with visiting since watching Xena Warrior Princess as a child and learning that was where it was filmed.

pghctwife · February 2018

Why does your mw say you are due 8/5? Lmp? That’s why I lie about my lmp to match up with my ovulation. I was close to induction with my first for dates, even though I knew I wasn’t as far late as they said.
i havent risked it since and always make up my lmp to match where I know I o. id push her on it a little and say you will refuse a post dates induction until 8/9+14.

Tjst said my oldest was late late then I was 39w5 and 39w1 so you may not gonlate

juliebleu · February 2018

Yeah- they went off LMP- and I told them that was impossible cause: look at my chart. And she apologized and said they only change from LMP if it is more than a week. But I’m like a half a week is a big deal if down the road they start to talk about inducing.

I’m not sure how hard to push. But guess I could beg this next visit and if they say no again, then not worry until they start talking induction. I went 2 weeks past due with my daughter- a sweep and stretch finally started labor. But when she came the nurses were shocked cause she was only 7lbs and looked like a 38-40 weeker. I knew my O date then too and all the scans agreeded on the due date. So we decided I must just bake long.

PGAL 1/31

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