TTTC Checkin 01/30/2018

Re: TTTC Checkin 01/30/2018

• BenJay member

  January 2018

  Tomorrow is my 35th birthday. I'm more okay with it than I thought I would be, but I give credit to my friends for being amazing about celebrating over the weekend. 
  
  When I got my period last cycle, I cried myself to sleep that first night. I didn't tell DH because then it'd be a 'thing'. It was my heart feeling so tired of 'trying': the ups and downs, the monitoring, the restriction (food, alcohol, etc.) and the frustration of having no reasonable explanation for my health status and no clear treatment. As an already anxious perfectionist, it's a lot to deal with... And then be dealing with it for nearly 3 years.
  
  My check in is that I am looking forward to more certainty in my 35th year, which likely means to stop trying entirely. I haven't made up my mind but I am drifting that way. 
  
  QOTW: Stubb's Sweet Heat BBQ sauce

  Married 4 years, TTC 3 years

  Dx: Unexplained infertility, hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's, MTHFR Mutation
  DH - low motility
  Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements

  
  

  
  
  

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• emmasemm member

  January 2018

  @goldenkeys a rollercoaster does explain it pretty well.
  @Worldtravler0522 and @hoffmanr7 have been in my thoughts a lot these last days
  
  So on Monday I went for my beta, which was CD5. #mostpointlessbetaever 
  No surprise, officially negative. Which even though we knew in advance still sucked. Compounded by the lack of interest from the clinic since they know we plan to move overseas for a second opinion. Oh and it wasn’t CD5 because AF came early, nope, we just had a super late beta. And the progesterone prescription ran out 4 days before beta. So if AF hadnt have come I’d have had a problem - as they refused to prescribe more. But I’m trying to take that as water under the bridge now. Trying.
  
  Good news is that we have the first second opinion consult set up for Thursday evening! Only via Skype, but I’m pleased we managed to get something in that quickly (we took a cancellation slot) as the one thing that keeps me going through all of this rubbish is taking action.
  Only problem now is I need to get all my records scanned in and sent over to them tomorrow! 
  Plus DH and I have our own plan - let’s hope the new clinic is on board with it...
  
  And I need to find somewhere to do my monitoring locally. I have no clue where to start for this. I’m going to ask my PCP for ideas when I see her tomorrow. Any hints much appreciated (note: I’m in Europe).

  Me 43 DH 45
  Married 12/2016
  TTC #1 since 04/2015
  AMA, DOR (AMH 0.65, AFC 2-4) and autoimmune issues (RA, APS), low TSH, adenomyosis
  7 retrievals, 3 transfers
  

  Jun19 FET BFP, due date 7th March 2020, DD born Feb20

  Sep17 IVF1 - 1ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
  Nov17 IVF2 - 1ER, 0F
  Jan18 IVF3 - 3ER, 1F, 1ET, BFN
  Feb18 - second opinion and additional testing
  Apr18 IVF4 - cancelled (E2 too high)
  May/Jun18 IVF4 - 4ER, 0M, 1F, 1 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
  Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - 5 ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (not best quality)
  Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - 4ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen day 3 (good quality)
  Aug/Sep18 IVF7 - cancelled (cyst)
  Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - 3ER, 3M, 2F, 2 frozen Day 3 (excellent quality)
  Oct18 IVF8 - Cancelled (cyst and too low TSH)
  Oct18-Jan19 bringing TSH under control
  Feb19 ERA and hysteroscopy
  Mar19 Investigation for fibroid and adenomyosis
  Apr19 adenomyosis confirmed, polyps removed
  Jun19 FET after 2 months Lupron, autoimmune protocol, transferred two day 3 frozen embryos

  Sep17 - Pergoveris 10-17 Sep, Orgalutran 15-18 Sep, Ovitrelle 18 Sep, ER 20 Sep for 2 follies, 1 mature egg, fertilized, ET 1x 2d 4-cell embryo 22/09, 05/10 BFN
  Nov17 IVF2 - Pergoveris 2-14 Nov, Orgalutran 5-14 Nov, Ovitrelle 15 Nov, ER 17 Nov for 3 follies, 1 mature egg, did not fertilize
  Jan18 IVF3 - Pergoveris 30 Dec - 8 Jan, Orgalutran 5-8 Jan, Ovitrelle 9 Jan, ER 11 Jan 3 eggs, 2 mature, 1 fertilized, ET 1x 4d 12-cell embryo 15/01, 24/01 BFN
  May/Jun18 IVF4 - Rekovelle 25-29 May, Menogon 30May - 2Jun, Zomacton 25 27 29 31 May and 2Jun, Cetrotide 30May - 3Jun, Gonasi 3Jun, ER 5Jun 4 eggs, none mature, two matured overnight, 1 fertilized with ICSI, Frozen day 3 but not good quality
  Jun/Jul18 IVF5 - Rekovelle 21-24 June, Menogon 25Jun-3Jul, Puregon 4-5Jul, Zomacton 21 23 25 27 29 Jun, Cetrotide 25Jun-5Jul, Gonasi 6Jul, ER 8Jul 5 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 but not good quality
  Jul/Aug18 IVF6 - Rekovelle 26-29 Jul, Menogon 30Jul-7Aug, Buserelin 26Jul-7Aug, Zomacton 26 28 30 Jul 1 3 Aug, Gonasi 7Aug, ER 9Aug 4 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized (normal IVF), 2 frozen day 3 good quality
  Sep/Oct18 IVF7 - Menogon 19-30Sep, Buserelin 19-30Sep, Zomacton 19 21 23 25 27 Sep, Ovitrelle 1 Oct, ER 3 eggs, 3 mature, 2 fertilized with ICSI, 2 frozen day 3 excellent quality 

  Fav Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

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• soehlerk member

  January 2018

  @Benjay "because then it'd be a thing."  Ugh, I totally get that.  Sometimes I'll go a few days before I tell DH b/c it's not worth us both being sad and him feeling like he has to comfort me.  IF just sucks the joy out of marriage some days.
  
  AFM yesterday was IUI #6.  Follicles & sperm count were all stellar...which is great, but makes it frustrating when they still can't connect.  I'm just feeling crotchety today.  Not sad, not even angry necessarily...just the kind of grouchy where you know you're being ridiculous, but you don't want to be nice.  I want to go back to before I cared about TTC.  I also wouldn't say no to a night of drinking. 
  
  We're also working on our adoption application.  Or, I should say, I am.  I've got all my stuff done, but now I need to get DH to fill out his side of the paperwork, which I know will take FOREVER.
  
  QOTW: Frank's red hot sauce.  I put it on my eggs each morning, and I make a fantastic buffalo sauce with it.
  

  Married: Nov 2010
  TTC #1 since: Aug 2016
  Dx: Unexplained
  6 failed IUIs on Letrazole & Ovidrel
  Final (#7) IUI - BFP!
  EDD: Nov 2018
  Team Pink!
  Me: 31/DH: 30
  
  

  

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• serownarain member

  January 2018

  @emmasemm that is awesome you found a provider who will Skype with You! I work in the medical field and I can tell you a provider willing to do that really cares! I hope things go better for you oversees! 
  
  
  I've been having a rough day. BFN this morning, DH and I not getting along well right now. Working night clinic so its always a long night. 

  Married for a little over 1 year, together for 6 years
  Me:27 DH: 29
  0 pregnancies, 1 stepson 
  Dx: Undergoing tests,hormones have been checked and came back perfect, HSG in the works. No birth control used in 5 years.
  Started seeing a specialist September 2017
  
  

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• Worldtravler0522 member

  January 2018

  Thanks for the support everyone.  I'm not going to sugarcoat it I am struggling really bad right now.  I have my follow up with the RE in late February to discuss next steps.  I've considered looking into more people locally and close by in bigger cities to get another look but I'm not sure if I want to go through the hassle.  I just sincerely don't think I will ever be able to do this and it's a tough pill to swallow.  I will likely not be around too much for awhile since I don't really have much to report and I just feel like an enormous downer. Thanks again for the support, it brings me comfort on my hardest days.   

  
  

  Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
  DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
  TTC since December 2014
  Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy  
  FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks  
  FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
  FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
  FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
  FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
  Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
  2 snow babies 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  

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• wishing-and-hoping member

  January 2018

  Sorry to all of you going through a hard time.  @Worldtravler0522 - in this place, I think it's ok to be a downer. and I think you should hang out here as long as it is helping you.
  
  @soehlerk I have that mood you're describing somewhat regularly!  Grouchy and kinda want to be.  I warn my husband/whoever else is around and just lean into it.
  
  QOTW:  gonna be honest and say.... mayonnaise  
  unless butter counts.
  

  
  

  TTC History in Spoiler
  

  Me: 29  DH:34
  TTC 21 cycles
  All TI cycles BFN (with letrozole, ovidrel, prometrium)
  Hysteroscopy + Polypectomy + D&C on 1/3
  IUI #1 February 6, BFP 2/21, CP 2/26
  IUI #2 March 14, BFN
  IUI #3 April 11, BFN
  IUI #4 May 11, BFN
  July 2018 IVF, developed lead follicle, converted to TI, BFN
  August/September 2018 IVF converted to freeze-all: 7 mature eggs; we fertilized 3 and froze 4. 3/3 fertilized and 1 blast!
  October 2018 FET-BFN
  November 2018 FET-TBD

  
  

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• funkykey member

  January 2018

  @BenJay - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
  
  @emmasemm - I am feeling hopeful for your next round. Sounds like IVF in Germany is pretty, err, conservative. I hope the new clinic is a much better fit!
  
  @soehlerk - good luck with this IUI!
  
  @serownarain - I'm sorry for the BFN. 
  
  @hoffmanr7 & @Worldtravler0522 - I've been thinking of you two lots. 
  
  A couple of years ago, I saw this blog post:
  https://cupofjo.com/2014/04/motherhood-mondays-what-if-you-cant-have-a-baby/
  and then started reading through Mara Kofoed's blog archives:
  https://dannyandmara.com/category/infertility/
  
  I'm not sure if you've seen? It's about a couple who went through 2 failed rounds of IVF, and then decided to stop trying. She talks about the process and their decision eloquently and beautifully. Anyway, if you haven't seen it, I hope you can find some comfort in it.
  
  AFM: Still waiting on AF and to start preparing for FET #2. AF should be here in the next few days, and I am terrified to move on. At first, I was so excited to start each treatment. Now, each one seems a little bit more terrifying.

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• hoffmanr7 member

  February 2018

  Found this online today....thought I would share it with all of you ladies
  
  

  Me:33, DH:38 Married: 8/2/2014
  TTC #1 Since: April 2015
  Unexplained Infertility
  

  Cycle 1&2 : Clomid 50mg- BFN
  Cycle 3: Letrozole 2.5mg- BFN
  Cycle 4: Letrozole 5mg- BFN
  Cycle 5: HSG-normal
                Clomid 100mg+ Estrace- BFN
  Cycle 6: Letrozole 5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progestrone- BFN
  Cycle 7: Letrozole 5mg, Cyst found during follicle check
  Cycle 8: Birth control to treat left ovary cyst
  Cycle 9: Letrozole 7.5mg+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
  Cycle 10: Letrozole 7.5mg, 2 Cysts found during follicle check
  Cycle 11: Clomid 100mg+Estradiol+Trigger shot+IUI+Progesterone- BFN
  Cycle 12: Clomid 100mg- BFN
  Cycle 13-16: Natural attempts while awaiting IVF 
  Cycle 14: IVF-BFN

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