TW to everyone telling me how I should grieve. If I have a sad day and I want to stay home at night and play Mario Party instead of hanging out with people, I should be allowed to do that. Don't tell me I need to be around people so I can feel better. Better yet, talk to me when your child dies inside of you and we will see how easy your grief is to deal with.
Thank you @galactickates for starting this thread. I needed to let that out so I can get over it. DH isn't a great listener sometimes because he always wants to fix things and stand up for everyone else's good intentions. That's great and all, but sometimes I'm irrational and upset and PMSing and I just need to vent.
@acciocoffee - Anyone telling you how to grieve needs to mind their own B. Especially with grieving. I feel like "you need to be around people" line is cray. They act like if your fine around people you're going to magically be fine when you leave. Instead it's worse. You have to pretend to be having fun to make others more comfortable and it's exhausting. I know I always end up feeling worse. Ugh sorry people are saying that to you.
@acciocoffee My lovetit is a gigantic hug. *TW* You grieve however you need to; no one can tell you what you need to be doing. People don't understand loss and think its nbd to just get up and move on, but it's a different kind of grief all together that no one else can see or feel. MH tried to "make it better" too but that made me all the more angry with him for not just being sad with me. *end TW*
I'm angry at the doctor who told my sister they would give her the results to her biopsy over the phone, but then called her yesterday and said they wanted to talk about it in person. My whole family was freaking out thinking she was gravely ill, but the results came back today all clear. Seriously?! You'd think these doctors would understand the power of their words and how to convey things so that people don't spend their days terrified that something is wrong with them.
@acciocoffee I am so sorry for what you have had to deal with. I can't imagine. And to people telling you how to grieve, SCREW them. Seriously you need to grieve. However long you need to. And not everyone gets better just by hanging out with people. You stay home and play all those video games! Husbands definitely don't understand the importance of just being sad, and letting those emotions go through it. It's needed, it's why we have them. We love our DH's but unfortunately they don't always understand.
I have been feeling down today and cried today, and he just says over and over "It'll all be okay", like...am I the only one that hates that sentence? Can't things just feel not okay for a bit? I know he doesn't know what else to say...but I would rather him just say nothing.
@offtoneverland OMG THAT'S SO DUMB! Whyyy don't doctors understand that?! You would think they would but maybe they are so desensitized or something. So sorry your sister and fam had to deal with that scare!!! But super happy it's all clear!
I'm so glad your sister is ok @offtoneverland, not cool of the doctor though.
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@offtoneverland I was waiting to hear how your sister was doing. Is her Dr insane? I can't imagine how freaked out you guys were. That makes me sick thinking of the stress that caused you all. I'm so sorry. But I'm sooooo happy she got good news! That's fantastic!
@offtoneverland so glad your sister is ok! I really hate when doctors do that. They have to know what it does to people.
@acciocoffee ugh, I’m sorry you had to deal with all those people who think they have the answers to something they probably can’t even comprehend. It seems like you going out and being fake happy would just make them feel better. That’s not the point. You do you girl!
@Whitmore1027 I am so sorry about your long night (just lurked on TWO and caught up.) I hope you’re doing better and off to the movie soon! It sounds like you have a ton on your place right now, and that stress is totally warranted. Feel free to PM if you ever need to vent!
galactickates
member
Re: TW Tuesday 1/30
TW to everyone telling me how I should grieve. If I have a sad day and I want to stay home at night and play Mario Party instead of hanging out with people, I should be allowed to do that. Don't tell me I need to be around people so I can feel better. Better yet, talk to me when your child dies inside of you and we will see how easy your grief is to deal with.
Thank you @galactickates for starting this thread. I needed to let that out so I can get over it. DH isn't a great listener sometimes because he always wants to fix things and stand up for everyone else's good intentions. That's great and all, but sometimes I'm irrational and upset and PMSing and I just need to vent.
I'm angry at the doctor who told my sister they would give her the results to her biopsy over the phone, but then called her yesterday and said they wanted to talk about it in person. My whole family was freaking out thinking she was gravely ill, but the results came back today all clear. Seriously?! You'd think these doctors would understand the power of their words and how to convey things so that people don't spend their days terrified that something is wrong with them.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
I have been feeling down today and cried today, and he just says over and over "It'll all be okay", like...am I the only one that hates that sentence? Can't things just feel not okay for a bit? I know he doesn't know what else to say...but I would rather him just say nothing.
@offtoneverland OMG THAT'S SO DUMB! Whyyy don't doctors understand that?! You would think they would but maybe they are so desensitized or something. So sorry your sister and fam had to deal with that scare!!! But super happy it's all clear!
Met: 2005 | Started Dating: 2009 | Married: 2013
Surprise Pregnancy #3; BFP: 01.11.2020; Due Date: September 19, 2021
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
@acciocoffee ugh, I’m sorry you had to deal with all those people who think they have the answers to something they probably can’t even comprehend. It seems like you going out and being fake happy would just make them feel better. That’s not the point. You do you girl!
@Whitmore1027 I am so sorry about your long night (just lurked on TWO and caught up.) I hope you’re doing better and off to the movie soon! It sounds like you have a ton on your place right now, and that stress is totally warranted. Feel free to PM if you ever need to vent!