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Rant rant rant BFN mentioned

serownarainserownarain member
in Trouble TTC
Ok ladies this is nothing but a big massive rant. Just need to blow off some steam and my friend I usually talk to about all this just found out she is pregnant. I am happy for her, they have been trying for a long time so I dont want to be a debbie downer to her.

I am just so so frusterated and sad and upset. It should NOT be this difficult to get pregnant. This will be year 5 of TTC. I am getting so emotionally drained. I took a test this morning, ive been nauseated with some cramps, breast pain, backache. Just wishful thinking it might be the month and got a BFN! I went out to feed our horses and just started crying before i even looked at the test. I knew it wouldn't be positive and sure enough it was negative. Its just so frusterating and hard. So emotionally exhausting. So tired of hearing "just dont think about it" "just relax if your stressed it wont happen" " you are still young" "it will happen". 
Sorry for the rant just needed to get it out. 
Married for a little over 1 year, together for 6 years
Me:27 DH: 29
0 pregnancies, 1 stepson 
Dx: Undergoing tests,hormones have been checked and came back perfect, HSG in the works. No birth control used in 5 years.
Started seeing a specialist September 2017

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Re: Rant rant rant BFN mentioned

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    allisona66allisona66 member
    Ugghhh I HATE that. "Just relax...." It's like are you freaking serious? I get really sarcastic in my head when anyone says that thinking "woah! It's that easy?! JUST relax...why didn't I think of that? I wouldn't have had to go through all of this if I had thought of just relaxing " my MIL recently said this to my husband and I "you guys plan too much and are so organized, you just need to relax!" And I LOST it. I know she's just trying to help but come on! 
    I'm sorry for your negative and hope your rant was therapeutic !!!!
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    serownarainserownarain member
    @allisona66 thank You! It was i did feel better. And oh man! I HATE that. Its like do people not think that we relax and have fun during sex? My grandma is very old and set in her ways and she's always like "your just trying to hard. Its not that hard" and im just like thankkss grandma... ugh. Im sorry your MIL said that and of course she means well but people who haven't had a hard time just don't get it. 
    Married for a little over 1 year, together for 6 years
    Me:27 DH: 29
    0 pregnancies, 1 stepson 
    Dx: Undergoing tests,hormones have been checked and came back perfect, HSG in the works. No birth control used in 5 years.
    Started seeing a specialist September 2017

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    funkykeyfunkykey member
    @serownarain - get it out! I love a good rant.

    I can't handle the "just relax" advice. I think it's BS. I recently read Ann Patchett's "This is the Story of a Happy Marriage" and there was a line in it that reminded me of all of this advice:

    There can be something cruel about people who have had good fortune. They equate it with personal goodness.

    All that "just relax" advice is from people who think their own good fortune is because they were more "relaxed" than you. It's obnoxious, clueless, and downright mean.
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