PGAL Check-in week of 1/24-1/30

treeofcheem · January 2018

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

4. When is your next appointment?

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

episcowitch · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

7 weeks 3 days

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Grumpy

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I'm a mess. Dreading my upcoming us. Fearing the worst

4. When is your next appointment?

Next Tuesday 1/30 8 am

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I want this to be real.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

Themiscyra

JNR6510 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

Still waiting for date confirmation

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Tired and nauseous

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I’m really nervous for this first appointment. I’m just hoping for good growth and a heartbeat!

4. When is your next appointment?

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

BFing is killing my nips now. They are so tender and sore. I almost don’t even want to pump while I am at work. I’m hoping that symptom doesn’t stick around for too long.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

Middle Earth

Lcardinal04 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 5 weeks 2 days

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)... burping more than any person should. Little bit of nausea and a bit of tiredness.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise). Anxious. First apt is next Thursday (6wks +2). Its early because I've had so many chemicals, so I'm anxious to see the US. All losses were before this point though, so that's positive.

4. When is your next appointment? Next week

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) nada

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Diagon Alley... hands down.

lumosmaxima · January 2018

How far along - 8 weeks now I think

How are you feeling - nauseous AF. Tired. Mostly just so pukey, it is wearing on me. Moody. I laughed out loud in commiseration at your response @episcowitch because I am so there.

How are you feeling / anxiety - still anxious but riding the wave of reassurance from seeing the heartbeat last week. I'm still saying "if this all works out" in reference to things though so...

Next appointment - next week. I tend to amp up in terms of anxiety before a "big event" so I'm hoping I can stay more calm but we will see. Going into the ultrasound sound room was really tough last time, instant tears.

Rants/raves - homemade granola is currently saving my life. It is not healthy, low sugar, low carb. Nope. It's delicious. I'm eating it constantly, and it's helping me feel about 5% less queasy and that is a win in my book.

GTKY - ...can I say Hogwarts or is that too easy? Because, obviously, Hogwarts.

mamakate1616 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 7+3

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) sore boobs, congested, so tired

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) trying to stay optimistic but obviously very anxious

4. When is your next appointment? US on 1/30

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) hoping baby is growing good in there and we get to see a heartbeat and gummy bear next week.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Diagon alley/hogwarts for me too

starla · January 2018

@episcowitch I hope you can get some reassurance on Tuesday and that this pregnancy starts to feel real for you.
@Lcardinal04 The fact that you've made it further this time is a great sign. Also, excellent pick on the fictional place!
@lumosmaxima Ugh I say that type of thing too ("if this works out..."). It sucks that we have to think that way.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

7w5d; today is a milestone from my first loss. Second loss was at 9w. I'll feel better after first tri... anatomy scan, viability... basically when I'm holding a healthy baby in my arms.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

I'm sick with a cold or maybe chest infection. I'm nauseated and tired. I feel like a whale. Sometimes I'm so bloated I look 4-5 months pregnant.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I dread every ultrasound.

4. When is your next appointment?

Monday

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

The Shire or Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

Redpuma119 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 5+2. Not yet. The first was found at 9 weeks and then a spontaneous mc a little over six.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I actually feel okay. Boobs hurt, a feeling of just being off.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Just nervous. And anxious for our appointment tomorrow. I feel like I've known forever, yet I found out right about now with my first pregnancy.

4. When is your next appointment? Tomorrow. Looking to make sure this pregnancy is in the correct place. My H really wants to see a hb, and I keep having to tell him it's way too early.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? I would want to be able to go into dreams like they do in Inception

episcowitch · January 2018

@lumosmaxima I'm a monster. I am literally hiding in an unoccupied office and avoiding mine just to spare my coworkers.

@starla Thank you. I appreciate your kindness.

Jyoung327 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 7w3d. next milestone is 8 weeks (first lost was a mmc at 12.5 but baby stopped at 8). We did see two heartbeats already but knowing first baby likely had one too has me anxious.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms). Ugh. So much worse than with DS. Nausea, random periods of UTTER STARVATION. constipation and bloat. heartburn. so tired. Been going to bed at like 8pm this week and wake up tired.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? Still some anxiety, I feel random uterus stretches (or maybe Im looking into it too much) so that gives me hope that they are still growing. Have been developing severe anxiety about the future and preparing for 2 babies and all the costs associated, however.

4. When is your next appointment? on the 31st we get another ultrasound, should be 8w1d.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here). My boss doesnt know yet and hes a dude and I work with mostly dudes and I know none of them are gonna have any pity on me but it is getting difficult to make it through the workdays. From constant peeing to needing snacks to needing a nap and just not being mentally here, I worry about the next 7-8 months a lot.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Pandora, the floating island place from Avatar.

sclarke7 · January 2018

Hello everyone, wanted to introduce myself to all you lovlies!

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 5w 2 d. Officially longer than my last pregnancy now.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms). Hungry! more tired than usual but other than that none, but its very early. Had some cramping which I did not have the last time. Mild and comes and goes.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)? all the things. Anxious for sure.. nervous and having a hard time sleeping. Taking it day by day. I am thankful to be pregnant today.

4. When is your next appointment? US on Feb 7th which can't come soon enough.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here). Couple people I know are preggo... complain about symptoms I think a little extremely. It bothers me because in my mind, we fought so hard to get to this point, I am taking whatever comes with it. GLADLY. So no. I don't care if you are overdue. You feel as big as a house at 6 months or your feet hurt. Not at all.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? hmmm I dunno? the Upside Down on Stranger things but just for a second since its scary and some people never leave LOL

@Jyoung327 I totally feel you on the not mentally here. I haven't been mentally present in a long while as well. Hope you keep nausea at bay.

@starla hang in there. I hope you feel better soon and prayers for healthy ultrasounds.

@lumosmaxima. I often think " if it all works out " also. And I will think that until I have a healthy baby in my arms.

@episcowitch: thinking of you and hoping your appt goes well on Tuesday. Keep us updated. I think to myself every day that its real is a small win. Everything crossed for you.

@redpuma119: Wishing you all the good luck tmr!

jhjocelyn · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

5w4d, my milestone is really just making it past the first ultrasound at 8/9 weeks. The first time we found it was blighted, the second was later because I hadn’t realized I was pregnant, and growth at stopped at the 8 week mark. So I’ll be nervous through the first trimester and start feinf safer when i can feel the wiggles and kicks.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

One minute fine, then next a hot mess! I’m either hungry or queasy all day long. And sooo tired, and bloaty and boobs. Ugh, but a happy ugh!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Finally made the call for an appt today, begged not to have to go in before the ultrasound, and they managed to schedule the pre-visit an hour before the doc visit, so yay! Now just to wait...

4. When is your next appointment?

Feb 14th! Here’s hoping it is a good one or the day will be ruined for years...

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I don’t want to tell my mil yet. I love her, but she is super enthusiastic and inquisitive and emotional and I just can’t handle it. In reality, she is actually very good during tough times, but her normal self is super bubbley flighty. My hormones rage at the thought...

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

I’m drawing a total blank! All I’ve watched/read recently has been tinkerbell or barbie related...

episcowitch · January 2018

Y'all , I know this is a safe place for this. I feel weird because I'm feeling like this is aw.

My appointment is Tuesday. I get an us. This week is when everything went sideways in previous pregnancies. Part of me wants to call and have them squeeze me in today, part of me wants to postpone the appointment because I don't want bad news.

I have a call into my therapist, but I was wondering how women who have been there done that cope with the uncertainty.

starla · January 2018

@episcowitch I totally know the feeling. I usual l keep the appointment I have and try not to think about it or dwell on it. At least that eases the anxiety a bit until the day before and day of.

sclarke7 · January 2018

@episcowitch. Hugs to you. I just try to get through each day. Its so hard to compare to the past. I try to think this is a different pregnancy and everything is ok today. Hope your therapist is able to help a little bit.

Redpuma119 · January 2018

@episcowitch I think we can all relate. I second Starla, I just try to stay busy and wait it out. My first pregnancy, I was so blissfully unaware that anything could go wrong.. and I miss that feeling, since now, I cannot relax, and cannot wait for the next appointment. I hope your therapist can give you some coping strategies for waiting! The wait is hard!

wkuandrea · January 2018

@episcowitch I relate 1000% to everything you've said. My Dr is being all doom and gloom (which I think is NOT called for) and I dread every phone call, every appt. I've decided (like PP) to take joy and comfort in that I'm pregnant today. I try not to read too much into things (I'm really superstitious). Most of all I try to just let go of the control that I don't even have over this.

Hang in there and let us know how things go!

episcowitch · January 2018

Thank you all. It's good to know there are others walking this path with me.

lumosmaxima · January 2018

@episcowitch thanks for being brave and sharing with us, I had those thoughts too. Different things are helpful for different people but thinking "whatever will be, will be...and I will face it in its own due time" was mildly comforting to me

but honestly the stress is just a lot no matter what.

mamakate1616 · January 2018

@episcowitch I have my first US Tuesday and my last pregnancy ‘went sideways’ around this time as well, and I have certainly tried a couple times to talk DH into squeezing the US in sometime this week too. Ultimately I’m keeping my anxiety at bay by reminding myself of the crazy fast growth during these early days so waiting until 1/30 will hopefully give us more to look at. Maybe that line of thinking will help some? *hugs

JustAnotherUsername16 · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 6w1d. Had my "pregnancy confirmation" appointment earlier this week. My loss happened at 12 weeks, so I won't feel comfortable until 1st Tri is over. And then, let's be honest, I still won't ever feel "comfortable" until thatbaby is in my arms.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms): Suddenly feeling better this week (suddenly almost no nausea at all) so naturally that just makes the answer to the next question worse...

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise): I can't believe I forgot how real the First Tri anxiety is, especially as PGAL... It's overwhelming. I question every symptom and lack of a symptom...

4. When is your next appointment? Not until Feb. 21st - 4 weeks away

5. Rants/raves/whatever: I am a little surprised that I am in this board so early. I find the loss of members highly emotionally taxing... I know that's really selfish of me, but I absolutely hate watching other women lose their littles... The first trimester on the bump is chock full of loss - it destroys a little of my soul every time.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go? Definitely Hogwarts!

@episcowitch - I totall understand what you mean when you say you just want this to be "real" already. And I know that fight or flight response of appointments... I am keeping you in my thoughts right now!

@lumosmaxima - that granola sounds amazing! You might need to share a recipe! yum yum!

@starla - I'm fighting a cold now too and it makes me question what every symptom is and whether or not it's related to pregnancy. Because... you know... I needed to question more things apparently

@sclarke7 - I know what you mean about hearing people complain - I felt the same way for awhile. It used to annoy me so much when people with healthy pregnancies would complain about symptoms. Then, as my own pregnancy progressed I felt this overwhelming pressure to be thankful even when I was really struggling. The fact is that some of it REALLY sucked but I felt I couldn't talk about it because I was only allowed to be happy to be pregnant after my first loss... Just remember it's ok to be uncomfortable and still be really thankful for your pregnancy. You're allowed to complain about the symptoms here with your PGALs and we will never think you aren't grateful. If anyone "gets it" it's us. Sending thoughts your way.

bpietronicco · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 8 weeks 2 days

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Tired mostly

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) horrible- since he beginning it has been doom and gloom so I get so nervous before each appt. I too have my next appt on Tuesday. Like many of you I have been looking at it as “if this works out”. I am trying to stay positive.

4. When is your next appointment? Tuesday. If all works out at that appt then my RE must transfer me to my OB and that appt is on Wed.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

It would be fun to be in a movie musical

treeofcheem · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

We are 8+4 today. We had a good appointment on Wednesday, got to see the baby and that beautiful tiny heartbeat. We've only made it this far with our 1 previous healthy pregnancy so we're cautiously telling select people, but won't be more comfortable until after 1st tri.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Still all day nausea. It's still worst in the evenings. I'm still exhausted, too, and pretty grumpy. I think the mood swings may be leveling out a bit, though. Except that constantly not feeling good makes me grumpy.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Not too bad. I like this OB. She reassured us that our chances of loss are super low now, and I'm trying to remember that without just thinking, "But X and Y and Z!" And we are genetic carriers for a disorder that we aren't exactly sure how it plays out in pregnancy (causes pregnancy loss, but no one knows at what stage), so there's always going to be that thought in the back of my mind.

4. When is your next appointment?

In 4 weeks. We have our NT scan and regular OB appointment on the same day.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

I'm having a tough time choosing. My first thought was Hogwarts, but the Shire is high on the list. And Gallifrey.

imsonutrafly · January 2018

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? I'm 6 almost 7 weeks. Had ultra sound 2 weeks ago there was just a sack. Was worried sick. Had another one last week and was over the moon to see a 3mm bean and told the flutter was a heart beat. The next day my Dr called and said the heart beat was only 50 bpm. Which was very low. Previous MC at 2 weeks. I'm worried sick.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

My nipples are tender and I'm so bitchy. I think it's because I'm worried. Yesterday at work I wiped and it was brown. Brown with stringy things. Called my doctor and she told me to bed rest all weekend. Bumped my ultra sound from this Wednesday to Monday. Mild cramps. Trying to stay calm

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

On a scale of 1 to 10..I'm 100000

4. When is your next appointment?

Monday

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I just want everything to be ok. I wish there was pregnancy tests out there that showwd your hormone levels.

6. GTKY: What fictional place would you most like to go?

Never Neverland

PGAL Check-in week of 1/24-1/30

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