Intro

CrazyHorseLady · January 2018

I just wanted to introduce myself. I find myself on this board after waking up last Friday to find I was having a miscarriage. I was 6 weeks.
We already have one daughter who is almost 2 years old. We wanted to try for one more. We were so excited.
Now I'm struggling because I don’t know if we can try again. I struggle with anxiety on a daily basis and this has just pushed me over the edge. I don’t know if I am strong enough to go through this again. I want another baby. But I’m so scared.

Mack2342 · January 2018

@CrazyHorseLady I’m so sorry for your loss. This is horrible situation to be in. Take time for yourself to heal both physically and emotionally. You have crazy hormones going on right now that play into everything that will settle down in a couple of weeks. You will know in time when and if you are ready to TTC. Again sorry you find yourself and I hope you find some comfort on this board

Mrs Carbo · January 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss. This board has been a comfort for me now and in the past, hopefully it will be for you too. Anxiety is horrible, but (at least for me) it is exacerbated by hormonal changes, so try to go easy on yourself for the next few weeks. Try to get plenty of sleep, stay hydrated, and eat well. It's super important that you make self care a priority. If you are really struggling maybe consider therapy and / or meds. They have gotten me through some of my toughest times, including my first loss.

dpjennifer · January 2018

I agree with PP. Your PG hormones can make you more emotional for several weeks following a MC. Wait that out before making any major decisions. I also second the therapy thing. I've been in therapy for a year now due to my RPL and it has been a lifesaver for TTCAL depression and anxiety!

acciocoffee · January 2018

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through a lot of the same feelings of not wanting to try again. I'm about 5 weeks out from my MC now and I'm really excited to start trying again this month. My friend reminded me that grief isn't linear and you will bounce around between emotions a lot, especially when you have those hormones trying to balance out. If you want to be done, that's ok. If you decide two days from now that you are ready to try again, that's ok too. Just give yourself this time to grieve however you need to and we are here if you need anything.

vlagrl29 · January 2018

I'm sorry for your loss

it's hard and totally sucks. We had a loss at 5 weeks this time last year. Take your time and don't make any decisions yet. I also have anxiety and actually on zoloft 50mg. I use to take Ativan as needed. So after my loss I had convinced myself that was it for us and I F'd it up and we were just going to have to settle for an only child. I worked really hard on letting go - well just a few months ago I realized that thinking was doing no good for me so I've been working on getting the negative out and being ok with whatever happens. Though I'm going to see an RE next week and the loss affected me to the point of being very particular about which way we go and what we do next. I don't want to do an HSG again because I don't think I need it cause I had one last year but it also has to be done around CD8 - well I don't actually turn a test positive until about CD12 so I had blamed myself and not going to go thru that again. If they want to do a saline U/S on me I'm going to tell them I am only ok doing so between CD12-15 that way I know nothing will hurt something that might be there. Yep I got some issues cause I am protecting myself from what happened last time.

Welcome to the group!

pumpkinpancake · January 2018

Im so sorry for your loss, but welcome to the group. It’s such an emotional rollercoaster, going through a loss, and it takes time to heal both physically and emotionally. I get where you’re coming from that it’s hard to know if you could handle trying again, but (as much as I hate this line) statistics are on your side that you will go on to have a healthy pregnancy after a loss. Give it some time before you make up your mind, and allow yourelf time to grieve and process your emotions.

CrazyHorseLady · January 2018

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. I did set up an appointment for therapy today after seeing that suggestion. I have had a lot of stress from my job lately and now this on top of everything else has been rough so I think I could benefit from therapy.
It’s nice to have people here to talk to that understand what I’m going through.
Thank you for the all of the support.

coco2787 · January 2018

I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m glad you have a therapy appointment, it can be a lot to process and it definitely helps to talk it out. I know you’re feeling a lot of emotions, but there’s no reason you need to make any big decisions yet. This is a great group if you need advice, support, or just a place to vent. We get it

offtoneverland · January 2018

@CrazyHorseLady I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I agree with everyone else. Take time to recover emotionally and physically before making the decision about whether you want to try again. Immediately after my losses, I've questioned whether or not I wanted to try again, but I find it's easier to think about and process after taking the time I needed to get back into a good mind space. Big hugs to you. I'm sorry you find yourself here, but everyone is so supportive and it's a great place to find community and comfort.

CrazyHorseLady · January 2018

I can’t thank you all enough for all the kind words. Today has been an roller coaster for me emotionally. I want to be happy because I am ovulating. But then part of me is like well don’t forget what just happened. But the simple fact that I was even the slightest bit excited to be ovulating tells me that I do want to try again. You all were right that it takes time to heal. And while that’s still happening, I feel a little hope for the first time since I MC.

bakerstreetboys · January 2018

Sorry to hear of your loss. As others have said, take the time you need to be ready emotionally. Some days I think I'm ready, and other days not so much. That's great that you're starting to feel hopeful again

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