PAIF Graduates- New Mommies - January

Jeansis · January 2018

Thanks to all of you for sharing about your breastfeeding challenges. I have struggled from the beginning and have had to supplement all along because Bram wasn't gaining weight in the beginning. Supply issues from the getgo and just as with IF, my self esteem has suffered from it because I felt like my body should be able to do this and I have beaten myself up over struggling, compared myself to other moms and it's been so hard. Had my 6 week check yesterday and I wept through the whole appointment. I wasn't even sure why. I also told my midwife about the anxiety I have been having. She offered me Zoloft and a therapist. I'm going to meet with the therapist next week, but holding off on the Zoloft. Afraid of it getting into breastmilk and even though I have struggled, stopping breastfeeding would be worse for me emotionally I think. I'll go in for a recheck in a few weeks and hopefully things will be better then!

byrneme · January 2018

@jeansis - if you ever want to chat, just PM me. I have been through all of those emotions. I was so dejected at first for the exact reason you mention, just another thing my body should be able to do that it can't. Especially b/c Zoey latched great from the get go for colostrum but then we had to supplement while my milk came in and then we were never able to get that latch back. Even when I tried to drop pumps because I wasn't bonding with her as I felt I should because I was always attached to the pump I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was a, excuse my language, a total mindf*ck.

byrneme · January 2018

@jeansis - if you ever want to chat, just PM me. I have been through all of those emotions. I was so dejected at first for the exact reason you mention, just another thing my body should be able to do that it can't. Especially b/c Zoey latched great from the get go for colostrum but then we had to supplement while my milk came in and then we were never able to get that latch back. Even when I tried to drop pumps because I wasn't bonding with her as I felt I should because I was always attached to the pump I couldn't bring myself to do it. It was a, excuse my language, a total mindf*ck.

omarismyhomeboy · January 2018

@persnickity I am also an exclusive pumper...I had tons of nipple trauma in the hospital and my nipples are naturally very sensitive and BF was super unpleasant. I was going to just pump for a week to heal but I never stopped. It's a lot of work but much less painful for me than BF. Latching was really hard.

I actually experienced a horrible drop in supply right before Christmas- I got hit by the flu and went from pumping about 4 oz every session to pumping maybe 1.5. Thank goodness for formula or I could not have fed my baby! After some work it has improved a lot but I still don't think it's where it used to be entirely. It is so so hard. We give her at least 1 formula bottle a day now because things changed. I can't beat myself up about it though- I have a full time job and life is busy and I couldn't help that I got a 104 fever for 2 days that destroyed my milk!

@JWatt5 a year long maternity leave is amazing! Although I think I would find it disorienting to go back after all that time. I am sorry to hear about your husband's job but sounds like there are also positives involved. My husband works a lot and travels a bunch too so I understand how it can be frustrating.

persnickity · January 2018

@Jeansis so glad you got a referral and an appointment with a therapist next week! I always feel so much better after talking with mine.

Why does all of this have to be so mentally/emotionally hard? All of us have had various struggles with breastfeeding/pumping. I'm so glad to have this support group!

@JWatt5 glad you get to enjoy some family bonding time and hopefully YH finds something he enjoys quickly.

JWatt5 · January 2018

Having stopped now - I didn’t realize how consumed I was about my supply. My supply was all over everyday - I pumped a different amount each day but eventually learnt that it balanced out. @persnickity - you’re pumping a great amount and she’s also feeding on top. She’ll always pull milk that a pump never will. It’s so hard not to focus on it.

@omarismyhomeboy - a year is a long time lol I’ve worked a bit from Home through the leave so far. The first few months it was still strange and now I’d never give it up. Going in to work here and there let me see that the work is all still there and it always felt normal every time I went back. Just a little more tired lol.

Polythene Pam · January 2018

@Jeansis it is so so hard. With my daughter, we supplemented right off the bat after my traumatic delivery. So I’d breastfeed, bottle when she screamed for more than I could give, then pump while she cried for me to try to up my supply. Then she had an intolerance on top of that. It took me crying at my 6 week checkup, plus our pediatrician at the 2 month checkup, both telling me it’s not worth it if it’s THAT stressful. So I quit. And a weight was literally lifted from my shoulders, quite honestly I wish I’d quit earlier to get back the pumping time for snuggles.

its going much better this time but now that I know, I’ll quit the second it becomes a stress or I have to pump more (I hate that thing). My 4 year old is smart, funny, healthy and such a sweet big sis. Everyone here is doing such a great job ... no matter how you get there, FED is truly best ❤️

persnickity · January 2018

I think for me, the breastfeeding stuff gets made worse by my anxiety. I heard about a problem with someone else and suddenly I'm worried about the potential of a problem. I've got an appointment in 2 weeks to talk to my therapist about it. @Jeansis with the anxiety issues you're having now, this might be something to keep an eye on for yourself.

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and for sharing your stories!

Jeansis · January 2018

@byrneme OMG that sounds awful! We struggled with latching in the beginning and my milk didn't come in until day 5. We started supplementing with formula on day 3 after taking him to the pediatrician's because he had no wet diapers the night after we left the hospital. It was so scary.

@persnickity Me too! I have been to a therapist before (although it has been a while) and it was always helpful for me. I'm looking forward to working through some of this stuff. I will keep an eye on the breastfeeding related anxiety as well. That has been a concern for me since the beginning.

@Polythene Pam That sounds very similar to our routine! We'll have a few good feedings and then my supply always seems to dip in the evening (or maybe he just eats more then) so I end up giving him a bottle, or daddy does. That's probably the only up side is that it provides an opportunity for DH to feed him and, more importantly, to bond with him. That has been a challenge too because of DH's busy work schedule, but I think it's getting better.

PoeMasque · January 2018

@Jeansis if you are having supply issues Zoloft may actually kill two birds with one stone: it is known to increase supply!

Jeansis · January 2018

@PoeMasque Oh that's interesting! I turned down the Zoloft for now. I am hoping that I can just talk through these feelings, but we'll see. Good to know it may boost my supply if I do end up taking it!

latershrader · January 2018

I love that we have all kinds of mom's on here. Breastfeeding, pumping and formula. It reassures me that what I ended up having to do (formula, I never had any breastmilk) was just fine. But I would still go back and do whatever I could to breastfeed; I felt like a failure at the time. Now I count myself lucky that I got the cuddles and smiles I did when bottle feeding. And having DH get some bonding time in with him. It was priceless. It all works out in the end and we will all have wonderful, healthy, well-loved children because of it!
Speaking of healthy, why didn't they tell us that there is NOTHING you can do when your child is looking at you pitifully coughing up his last feeding and struggling to breath!? It's so hard. Luckily I persisted with our doctors and found out Eli has a mild case of pneumonia. Some steroids and antibiotics have him on the mend but man was that scary and heartbreaking! Trust your instincts mamas!!

byrneme · January 2018

Oh no @omarismyhomeboy, I'm so sorry to hear this! I'm glad you persisted and got some treatment though. Hope Eli is on the mend soon.

omarismyhomeboy · January 2018

@latershrader yikes I'm sorry to hear it was pneumonia but so glad you trusted your gut!

Polythene Pam · January 2018

@latershrader oh no!! What made you call? I’m so glad you did! Hope some extra snuggles help do the trick

persnickity · January 2018

@latershrader glad you trusted your instincts! Poor Eli with pneumonia.

latershrader · January 2018

Thanks all. Eli is much better and back in daycare. It really was just instinct that told me to keep going back to the doctor. Thank goodness!
So I have a baby-sleep question. Eli will not nap at daycare. He is a good night-time sleeper, typically getting 9-12 hours a night, depending. He doesn't wake up either, he sleeps through the night. I know, I'm SUPER lucky. But with no naps at daycare, he is having a hard time. Yesterday he crashed out at 4:30pm when I got him home and was out until 6:30. And only then because I woke him to eat and do a diaper change. I'm worried he won't get enough sleep without napping at daycare. They will not use a swaddle (besides a blanket, which he gets out of in .2 seconds flat) and they won't let him stomach sleep (which I let him do for naps in the pack n play in the living room when I'm home). What to do? Will he sleep when he's tired and I should just trust? Sorry for the novel but last night he was up crying 4x and that is not normal for my little guy. I don't want this to become a thing! Perhaps it was nothing, he was just uncomfortable recovering from pneumonia and all...but even at the height of his illness he slept through the night. Anyway, thanks for any advice! You guys are my only Mommy-friends at the moment and I trust your words of advice!

persnickity · January 2018

@latershrader glad to hear Eli is recovering! Mackenzie doesn't really nap at all, only 30 minutes at a time and maybe only 2-3 naps at daycare. At home, it's there same thing. 30 minute naps and maybe 2-3 total. @byrneme has the same thing with her daughter. Sleeps all night, but doesn't really nap. Mackenzie had an early bedtime as well. She's asleep by 6pm every day and sleeps 11-12 hours. It's hard not to really see her during the week, but she's the one picking her bedtime and she needs the sleep.

Does Eli nap at home on the weekends? He might just not be a napper. If they won't swaddle, will they use a sleep sack? Can you transition him to a sleep sack? The other thing that might be happening is a leap. Is it leap time? Because that totally throws off sleep.

omarismyhomeboy · January 2018

@latershrader I know that nap time at day care can be a lot tougher! June does sleep, but often for just like 20-30 min then up again. I think he may adjust to the different setting, hopefully. And sometimes I read a lot into things when June has a bad night, but its often just random. I am hoping its the case for you!

Random question for all pumping/breastfeeding moms: did yall start spotting? I just did and it was kinda surprising! I havent dropped any pump sessions or anything. I did start the mini-pill about a week ago though. I'm not really ready for my period to return....

Polythene Pam · January 2018

@latershrader that’s annoying that Daycare won’t work with you to find a way to get him to nap! I know the rules (I worked at Daycare ages ago) and they just can’t stomach sleep unless the baby is doing that on his own. I’d give it some time, he’s got to get used to their naps right?? But if it isn’t better even in a week I’d talk to them to find a solution. I remember rocking babies to sleep at Daycare... SOMETHING and it can even be a transition just for a week. it was crazy though by 1, all kids would be out cold in minutes at nap time, so you think it becomes the norm for them. I’d hope they work with you to figure it out now though, my daughter slept terribly at night if she had bad naps so that’s not fair to you guys.

byrneme · January 2018

@latershrader , yep - as @persnickity said, Zoey does the same thing. She gets one, maybe two, half-hour (max) naps at daycare but sleeps well through the night. At home she's a LITTLE better but not much - she's just a cat napper. I asked our ped at her four month if I should be concerned (I'm SO nervous about setting up bad sleep habits for the future) and she said no. I'm going to revisit again at her 6 month on the 29th though. I'm concerned on how/when we will be able to eat solids if she's sleeping most of the evening! I'm glad he is doing better though!

JWatt5 · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy - I was still doing 4 pumps a day when I started birth control (Mirena). I spotted for a while but haven’t since - figures it was just because I started the BC. I just stopped pumping a week ago and have noticed some symptoms that resemble being being cycle for me (which is super weird lol).

persnickity · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy I haven't had any spotting or a period, but my ob mentioned that starting the mini pill might cause some spotting.

omarismyhomeboy · January 2018

@persnickity @JWatt5 thanks to both of you!

Also, can I just rant about how hard pumping/breastfeeding is? First, it was tremendous pain in the hospital which led me to exclusively pump...then I hit my stride, until about 3 1/2 months in when I got the flu. My supply never 100% recovered from the flu but was probably back to about 80%. THEN, 2 nights ago, I started getting really bad pain in my left breast- like it felt bruised. Super tender to the touch. I started feeling crappy, took my temp and it was 100.4

I was like OH HELL NO MASTITIS. So I stood in the shower for like 20 min squeezing, expressing, it hurt like hell but I wanted to try to get stuff out. I took a tylenol and went to bed. Woke up the next day and I felt way better!

Last night I did get some stringy milk out of that boob. This morning so much less sore, but my supply is basically 0 in that boob.

Its like problems after problems! And my baby is eating even more now so in no way can I keep up. Sorry, end rant, I am very grateful to be in this position at all!

persnickity · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy First of all, hugs! It's really hard to go from problem to problem. Rant all you need to!

I do a mix of nursing and pumping. While I haven't had mastitis (knock on wood), I did have a clogged duct. Holy heck that was painful and annoying!! My output was reduced from that side while I was dealing with the clog and for a day or two after it was gone. It eventually returned to normal. For me, nursing from that side was the only way to fully get rid of the clog. It was better from pumping and hot compresses, but lingered until I got it nursed out. Just wanted to give you hope that your supply can return!

JWatt5 · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy - I hear ya girl! My left side was super prone to clogs for some dang reason and even the smallest one would seriously hurt my supply. And then the idea of trying to power pump that side or something to bring it back up made me feel sick because my left side has the nerve damage and hurts all the time. I knew I was just one Mastitis/bad clog hit away from being able to keep it up. The stress of it all stinks for sure. Thank goodness for formula and that Parker takes formula well - I eventually just did the best pumping I could and would give whatever amount of formula I needed to that day (I wanted to save my freezer stash for when I stopped pumping so he still had breastmilk for a while). Defiantly the best way to clear a clog/help supply is putting June on the boob again - if she’ll do it. Parker would, but he still wants super in to it and neither was I after 3 Months or so.

PoeMasque · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy kudos to you for working through such painful issues! Sounds like you’ve been through a lot

We’ve had latch issues from day one (baby latches TOO well and chews/sucks my nipples to shreds) and can only feed with tolerable pain on my end with a shield. I also have vasospasms in my nipples that cause burning and pain between feeds. I also am not a great producer (baby is 6 weeks and I can only pump about 3oz total, even if it’s been 4 hours since a feed). I’ve come close to quitting all together several times and will be so happy if we make it to 4 months before I’m over it. I have a friend who is really good at reminding me that “this sh.. is HARD!” and there is no one, perfect way to be a mom.

JWatt5 · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy - one thing you could try and it worked really well for me - pump for 15 mins, wait 10 mins and pump for another 10 mins. It’s a mini power pump and I almost always got an extra ounce! It’ll also help a bit with supply. I didn’t do it every pump but usually the evening one I did (when DH was Home).

byrneme · January 2018

Has anyone traveled without their LO yet and can help answer a few question re: flying/breastmilk?

persnickity · January 2018

@byrneme Sorry, haven't traveled with or without her yet. I did look into a few options for shipping milk back home if I do have to travel for work. It's pricey. Let me know if you want the link.

kelrauh · January 2018

I havent updated in awhile. It is hard to believe but one year ago I was faced with the scariest days of my life. I was put in the hospital with No measurable cervix at 22 weeks pregnant with twins. Thanks to some sort of miracle our babies made it to 33 weeks and only spent 18 and 20 days in the NICU. Cece and Patrick are now 9 months old and absolutely perfect. I have to say that yyou all were a part of our miracle. Thank you for your support through our hardest and greatest times!

latershrader · January 2018

@omarismyhomeboy I have no advice but sending lots of encouraging vibes!! Breastfeeding mamas have to be tough to make it through all of that!

@kelrauh Glad to hear your twins are doing so well! You are living the IF dream!

Joslynj11 · January 2018

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/q3/4v4eyvafdr2l.jpg

Hello hello all you lovely mamas! I am so excited to finally be joining you this wonderful group of IF warriors

Above is my little miracle. It took us 3 transfer but we finally brought home our angel! I had a great time these past 3 months getting to teach my angel and watch her grow! Riley Charlize was born on 10/30/17 at 40w3 at 6lb 5oz and with a full head of hair. I don't have a computer at home and trying to post on TB from my tablet just wasn't working so I kind of just soaked up the first 3 months on my own but I am so excited to join you ladies! I haven't had time to catch up on reading posts from this month yet because I just returned to work on Monday, but I plan to participate way more when we start over in February!! Congrats to everyone here!!!

byrneme · January 2018

@kelrauh - so happy to see this post

Glad all is going well - I cannot believe they are nine months!! Then again, I can't believe Zoey will be 6 months tomorrow.

Thanks, @persnickity, I have a link - it is pricey, and for the amount I'm producing right now, hard to justify. I just want to make sure I'm doing everything 'right' to get it back. I don't feel like arguing with TSA at the airport LOL.

persnickity · January 2018

@byrneme I've had friends traveling with their baby and bringing bottles of breast milk/formula have issues with TSA. They had to have the contents tested and all sorts of things. Made me realize I'm better off shipping the milk if I have to travel or just sacrificing it.

byrneme · January 2018

I know - it terrifies me. This will likely be the only time I have to deal with it so I'm considering just sucking it up and using the service.

persnickity · January 2018

I would. Just to feel better about the whole thing and not be nervous/worried.

PAIF Graduates- New Mommies - January

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