Just posted a politically charged post on FB and set the privacy on the post so that none of the people who like to argue with me over political things will see it. I'm so over people having shitty opinions I just don't want it on my FB. Does this mean I'm putting myself in a bubble? Yes. Yes I am.
If this baby is a girl, there's absolutely no way I'll name this kid anything related to the name MIL has decided we should use for a girl (she hasn't picked a boy name because she only wants it to be a girl). H was a bit dumbfounded last night. I told him there are enough other girl names and I don't need to give her the impression that she "won" something as important as naming the kid. She's outta control. Really looking forward to the fight about not putting my kid's face on Facebook.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@kiki75 - oh man! do we have the same MIL?? lol. My DH accidentally let Baby G's name slip over FaceTime with his mom the other day and her snarky remark was, "Well.. I figured you were going to name her that." to my reaction of being upset about her knowing now. This is why we weren't telling them! And I may or may not have threatened her life if she tells anyone. And the whole Facebook thing, yeah, prayers for you on that. I told my MIL I don't want her plastered all over FB and for my DH's side of the family to be all involved with pictures since they haven't been involved with anything baby wise yet. We never received anything from them after sending them baby shower invites nor did they congratulate us on being pregnant... Not sure what their deal is but I honestly don't care. She has everything she needs. So they don't need to be involved if they aren't going to put forth the effort. And I told MIL if I find out she's sharing, then she won't get pictures and things unless she comes out and visits. (They live in PA and we live in MN) She's sneaky like that so I wouldn't put it past her. Honestly makes me hate FB, more of an Instagram kinda person. Less politics on there, lol.
DH’s Mom made a comment about our son’s potential name before we knew his sex and turned DH away from it for awhile. I was pretty livid because it had been my favorite boy name as long as I could remember, then his side of the family kept suggesting awfule names. At one point DH’s aunt even told me it was “tradition” to help name each other’s children it was obnoxious. We decided on the original name and refused to tell anyone (mainly his family) what we decided on. DH’s family didn’t know the name until they got to my baby shower and saw it everywhere. Now everyone tells us how perfect his name fits and that he’s “such a Henry”. I believe doing this gave us a good start to boundaries. His aunt can be pushy and obnoxious, but I don’t have to deal with her often. Don’t be afraid to put your foot down so they know your way or no way.
@Gingermom15 - ugh that's so annoying! I love the name Henry and I bet he will just be the cutest little Henry! I love the old fashioned names coming back. We actually are naming our daughter Alice. Alice Grace after my great-grandmother who was the most important woman in my life, besides my mom of course.
My MIL has decided she likes the name Connor (it's on our list but not what we're planning to name LO at the moment) and the other day said, "Oh I'm just going to start calling the baby Connor." I said, "I wish you wouldn't do that." She said, "Aw man, well, I will teach DD to say Connor!" And I responded, "I wish you would teach her how to say things like, 'May I have a snack,' or 'May I please have some juice?'" Good lord - what's wrong with people?!
I confess that I judge a little when parents teach their children nicknames for their genitals instead of using legitimate names. Hearing a toddler call her privates “cookie” is creepy and weird.
I'm seriously considering having no visitors at all (except for my mom) if flu season is this bad in March. I may go stir crazy though but man is it bad this year, even with the flu shot.
Me: 36 DH: 37 Married: 5.27.16 Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
@Gingermom15 Same here!! We plan on using good ole "penis".
We say penis and vagina. When they’re older we will name the parts, ie scrotum, Labia and such. Whenever I hear parents using those nicknames, all I see are kids who are doomed to lack sex education at home
+1 to penis and vagina. My husband used to say “stuff” and I told him he needs to call it what it is. I’m not teaching my girls that vagina is a dirty word.
@antoto Let's just say I unfollowed a lot of people on Facebook last fall. My Facebook bubble is much more pleasant now.
@kiki75 Good luck on the FB picture fight. We basically only allow our family to share pictures we post, which is like maybe one a month. Last Christmas my SIL posted like 12 pictures of DD to her Instagram and DH had to tell her to take them down. She told him this was so unfair. *eye roll* (and SIL is 33, not 16...). We share lots of pictures and videos via Snapchat, this seems to make them happy - and those pictures aren't public or forever available.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
FFFC: I don't like my MILs cooking. She is coming to visit next week and offered to bring a casserole. I told DH to tell her she doesn't need to do that - we'll feed her.
Me: 30 H: 30 Dx: PCOS Married: June 2013 TTC#1: January 2015 BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16 TTC#2: June 2017 BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
+1 to penis and vagina. My husband used to say “stuff” and I told him he needs to call it what it is. I’m not teaching my girls that vagina is a dirty word.
DH used to call them “girl” and “wiener”. I told him the same thing, they’re not dirty words and I want our children to be comfortable with their bodies. Not shamed
@becausescience my MIL is a great person but a terrible cook. She keeps hosting things and it's awful. She almost poisoned everyone last year with an undercooked turkey on thanksgiving.
Yes to saying penis and vagina and breasts. They aren't swear words - it's just a body part name like "arm" or "leg". And ugh it drives me nuts when adults continue to use those nicknames. Every time I saw someone on TTC say "BBs" instead of breasts my brain exploded.
@antoto If it's the same people starting circular and offensive arguments over and over then I don't think that even counts as a bubble. It's just common sense to not want to have the same fight with people every day.
Yes we need more Facebook expats! *High fives @DDRRT1982*I'd way rather hang out with you guys here.
+1 to not using nicknames for genitals. I know my MIL is going to freak out on that one because she is uncomfortable with anything remotely related to sex, but if you want to discourage the shame/sex thing, I think using the real names is important.
@kiki75 We’re not allowing any pics of our kids on FB. I’m also debating not allowing their names to be shared on Facebook. If ppl were more cautious about FB that would be one thing, but my sister is one of those FB AWs with 10,000 best friends who shares her address, the names of her kid’s school, and dates she is leaving town on her FB. I figure better to have a blanket ban than rely on her “discretion”.
Wow I apparently agree with with everyone today I guess?
Sometimes my house and my husband and my toddler are just too much and I have to get away. Lately my away has been in a closet. I feel like the mom in Mom’s Night Out...
Sometimes my house and my husband and my toddler are just too much and I have to get away. Lately my away has been in a closet. I feel like the mom in Mom’s Night Out...
I'm getting away tomorrow all day and for the night and I am currently feeling guilty for it. It's for a wine training (i sell wine on the side) but I'm with my friends so it will be fun!
I don't understand why people teach their children nicknames for "penis" and "vagina". Do they teach their child that an arm is a "hangy stick"? Or something just as ridiculous...? My friend fought with me tooth and nail that it's not OK to teach correct terminology for penis and vagina. Her worry was that her child will think it's funny, and run around screaming it. She couldn't understand that children don't run around screaming "leg!!" because it's just part of human anatomy, so why would they with penis or vagina.
15 years ago I use to call private parts ridiculous names with my oldest. My parents did it and so I followed that trend. I have since learned better and stopped doing that with my younger ones. Those terms are definitely a source of laughter when my oldest son thinks of them. Fortunately, that's rare. I am kind of embarrassed.
@DDRRT1982 I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. A lot has changed in 15 years. My mom definitely used a nickname for vagina with me when I was little and my mom is awesome.
Cultural consciousness changes, awareness grows, etc. 15 years ago no one really cared about sexual harassment in Hollywood, for example.
@antoto She chose Katie. Which I'm pretty sure was her name for if she had had a girl.
@vflux33 We're planning on not sharing the name to Facebook. I think it's risky to share full name and birthdate on Facebook. Too much opportunity for identity theft.
Mostly I just don't trust a lot of it from facial recognition software to other people who don't understand things like if they share a picture and one of their friends likes it, that person's friends might see it.
As far as teaching euphemisms for breasts, vaginas, and penises, cutesy terms aren't my thing anyways. Especially with how awful some of them are. But I also think there is validity to the argument for teaching accurate terms so there isn't confusion if a kid is trying to tell someone about sexual assault. If a kid says, "Billy touched my cookie" people are going to assume she means the dessert and brush her off. If she says, "Billy touched my vagina" they're more likely to listen up.
Me: 34 DH: 38 Married: June 2011 TTC since Feb 2016 BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16 BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@Gingermom15 - Penis and Vagina should be taught to children! If they ever had to go to court, words like pee pee and "cookie" (WTF) would not hold up in the court of law. It's sad But my mom taught it to us that way and made sure we understood why it was important to use the correct terminology. I will teach my babies the same!
A bit late, but my fffc is that we never told my in laws when I'm due. We avoided the question originally and now they feel uncomfortable asking. And We're really happy about it. We also only told them when I was 22 weeks. So they will do a double take when baby boy arrives. Why does this make me so happy??
![[Deleted User]](https://core-api.thebump.com/core/v1/avatars/%5BDeleted%20User%5D)
Re: FFFC
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
I believe doing this gave us a good start to boundaries. His aunt can be pushy and obnoxious, but I don’t have to deal with her often. Don’t be afraid to put your foot down so they know your way or no way.
I love the name Alice!
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Married: 5.27.16
Baby Boy Due: 3.18.18
Whenever I hear parents using those nicknames, all I see are kids who are doomed to lack sex education at home
@kiki75 Good luck on the FB picture fight. We basically only allow our family to share pictures we post, which is like maybe one a month. Last Christmas my SIL posted like 12 pictures of DD to her Instagram and DH had to tell her to take them down. She told him this was so unfair. *eye roll* (and SIL is 33, not 16...). We share lots of pictures and videos via Snapchat, this seems to make them happy - and those pictures aren't public or forever available.
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Dx: PCOS
Married: June 2013
TTC#1: January 2015
BFP #1 8/24/15 | MC 9/3/15 at 6w2d
BFP #2: 12/12/15 | DD born 8/29/16
TTC#2: June 2017
BFP #3: 7/15/17 | DS born 3/20/18
Yes we need more Facebook expats! *High fives @DDRRT1982*I'd way rather hang out with you guys here.
+1 to not using nicknames for genitals. I know my MIL is going to freak out on that one because she is uncomfortable with anything remotely related to sex, but if you want to discourage the shame/sex thing, I think using the real names is important.
@kiki75 We’re not allowing any pics of our kids on FB. I’m also debating not allowing their names to be shared on Facebook. If ppl were more cautious about FB that would be one thing, but my sister is one of those FB AWs with 10,000 best friends who shares her address, the names of her kid’s school, and dates she is leaving town on her FB. I figure better to have a blanket ban than rely on her “discretion”.
Wow I apparently agree with with everyone today I guess?
My friend fought with me tooth and nail that it's not OK to teach correct terminology for penis and vagina. Her worry was that her child will think it's funny, and run around screaming it. She couldn't understand that children don't run around screaming "leg!!" because it's just part of human anatomy, so why would they with penis or vagina.
Cultural consciousness changes, awareness grows, etc. 15 years ago no one really cared about sexual harassment in Hollywood, for example.
@vflux33 We're planning on not sharing the name to Facebook. I think it's risky to share full name and birthdate on Facebook. Too much opportunity for identity theft.
Mostly I just don't trust a lot of it from facial recognition software to other people who don't understand things like if they share a picture and one of their friends likes it, that person's friends might see it.
As far as teaching euphemisms for breasts, vaginas, and penises, cutesy terms aren't my thing anyways. Especially with how awful some of them are. But I also think there is validity to the argument for teaching accurate terms so there isn't confusion if a kid is trying to tell someone about sexual assault. If a kid says, "Billy touched my cookie" people are going to assume she means the dessert and brush her off. If she says, "Billy touched my vagina" they're more likely to listen up.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
@Gingermom15 - Penis and Vagina should be taught to children! If they ever had to go to court, words like pee pee and "cookie" (WTF) would not hold up in the court of law. It's sad
But my mom taught it to us that way and made sure we understood why it was important to use the correct terminology. I will teach my babies the same!
We also only told them when I was 22 weeks. So they will do a double take when baby boy arrives.
Why does this make me so happy??