Not Sure If I Should Tie the Tubes — The Bump
Babies on the Brain

Not Sure If I Should Tie the Tubes

I'm currently pregnant with baby #3. My girls were born at 34 and 33 weeks, and I'm about to be 35 weeks with baby #3 tomorrow. Of course I had to be taken off work at 26 weeks due to a preterm labor scare and now I'm on the Makena shot. My girls were from previous relationships, I'm divorced. I was looking into getting my tubes tied last year and then I found out I was pregnant with #3 (My second birth control baby). My boyfriend loves children. All he's ever wanted was a family. He wants another baby after this.  But I'm not sure I do. My mom says maybe when he sees how difficult it is to have a baby he'll change his mind, but I'm so afraid I'll get knocked up again before he gets to figure that out. Then there are the thoughts of, am I ready to be a single mom of 4? We aren't married, and I've had the worst luck in the men department. They seem amazing at first and then it gets too hard and they bail. Both my exes do not help with the girls at all. One made another family and bailed, and the other comes around at random, stirs up problems, and he's out again. My boyfriend is great with my kids but whose to say he won't wake up one day and decide to leave. That being said, I've decided I need to decide for myself if I want more kids or not.  I'm 31 and the clock is ticking. I guess I feel the need to decide soon because my baby is still breech and I want to decide in case I have to have a c section. Anyone care to share how they made this decision?

Re: Not Sure If I Should Tie the Tubes

  • 3luvsl8r said:
    I'm currently pregnant with baby #3. My girls were born at 34 and 33 weeks, and I'm about to be 35 weeks with baby #3 tomorrow. Of course I had to be taken off work at 26 weeks due to a preterm labor scare and now I'm on the Makena shot. My girls were from previous relationships, I'm divorced. I was looking into getting my tubes tied last year and then I found out I was pregnant with #3 (My second birth control baby). My boyfriend loves children. All he's ever wanted was a family. He wants another baby after this.  But I'm not sure I do. My mom says maybe when he sees how difficult it is to have a baby he'll change his mind, but I'm so afraid I'll get knocked up again before he gets to figure that out. Then there are the thoughts of, am I ready to be a single mom of 4? We aren't married, and I've had the worst luck in the men department. They seem amazing at first and then it gets too hard and they bail. Both my exes do not help with the girls at all. One made another family and bailed, and the other comes around at random, stirs up problems, and he's out again. My boyfriend is great with my kids but whose to say he won't wake up one day and decide to leave. That being said, I've decided I need to decide for myself if I want more kids or not.  I'm 31 and the clock is ticking. I guess I feel the need to decide soon because my baby is still breech and I want to decide in case I have to have a c section. Anyone care to share how they made this decision?
    QFP. 

    I don’t have any advice, given that I’m still trying for #1. Good luck. 
    Me: 35 | DH: 35
    Married: 9.17.16
    Diminished ovarian reserve
    izza2
  • 3luvsl8r said:
    I'm currently pregnant with baby #3. My girls were born at 34 and 33 weeks, and I'm about to be 35 weeks with baby #3 tomorrow. Of course I had to be taken off work at 26 weeks due to a preterm labor scare and now I'm on the Makena shot. My girls were from previous relationships, I'm divorced. I was looking into getting my tubes tied last year and then I found out I was pregnant with #3 (My second birth control baby). My boyfriend loves children. All he's ever wanted was a family. He wants another baby after this.  But I'm not sure I do. My mom says maybe when he sees how difficult it is to have a baby he'll change his mind, but I'm so afraid I'll get knocked up again before he gets to figure that out. Then there are the thoughts of, am I ready to be a single mom of 4? We aren't married, and I've had the worst luck in the men department. They seem amazing at first and then it gets too hard and they bail. Both my exes do not help with the girls at all. One made another family and bailed, and the other comes around at random, stirs up problems, and he's out again. My boyfriend is great with my kids but whose to say he won't wake up one day and decide to leave. That being said, I've decided I need to decide for myself if I want more kids or not.  I'm 31 and the clock is ticking. I guess I feel the need to decide soon because my baby is still breech and I want to decide in case I have to have a c section. Anyone care to share how they made this decision?
    The women on this board are primarily waiting to ttc for one reason or another, so there’s probably few women here that have had the procedure. And unfortunately it’s a very personal decision that only you can answer. I guess I’d offer that if everything went 100% right with this guy (or any guy) would you one day wish you hadn’t had your tubes tied.

    I’m sure you’re skeptical of birth control, but I’d recommend going on something reliable with a low chance of failure (or even double down and use condoms too) and give it a couple years. Maybe the nexplanon implant or something. 31 is still young and if you wanted to, you could theoretically have another child. But only you can decide that.
    ME: 32  DH: 32 DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
    CecilB93
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  • **lurking**
    I would hesitate to do anything permanent if I wasn't 100000% sure that I was done. As for if you are done or not, only you can decide that for yourself. At your next appointment you could discuss your concerns with your doctor in regards to birth control options. There are a ton of options available that might be better suited for you and more reliable than whatever you have used in the past. 

    Me: 35 * DH: 35
    Married: July 2005
    DS1: Aug. 2006 * DS2: Dec. 2011 * DS3: Jan: 2014 * DS4: Mar. 2018

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