Desperately Need Advice, Support, Encouragement — The Bump
High-Risk Pregnancy

Desperately Need Advice, Support, Encouragement

*Posting here because whatever is happening, I am high risk due to weight, and symptoms. 

I am in a very confusing and difficult situation. I have a unique set of circumstances that many people would not typically know exsist ( I did not until now, myself). I desperately need support and advice here. Even if all you can say is that you read my post, it will help. If you can offer any insight or encouragement, all the better. I will warn you, this is an extremely long post. I partially posted this in a thread on here,but felt the whole story needed to be written out. I have posted it on another forum I am on, so to make it easier, I copied and pasted it. Having said that, lwt me start with an introduction to better help show you who I am, to help you understand. 
For those that do not know my, my name is Jennifer. I am 30, my husband is 26. We have been married 14 months. We have never wholeheartedly tried to prevent, nor tried to concieve until November 2017. We believe children will come when it is time, so we never tried to stop it if it happened. But Novemeber came and we decided it was time to grow our family. This is going to be a really long post, but I need to give details so my situation is understood. Please stay with me, I desperately need your insights.

Some of you may know from my previous posts, but if not I will give a brief rundown of how this has happened. 

Last period was Nov 8, 2017. We started trying to concieve immediately, and made love almost every single day from the 13th until the end of the month. The app that tracks my periods and ovulation was used and it said my fertile window was between the 13th and the 26th. Ovulation was on the 17th. I know because thats when I began having eggwhite mucus, sorry for tmi. I had that from the 17th through the middle of December. 

On the 27th, we were convinced I already had conceived (for many reasons, trying to be brief where I can), and we were making love just because. It felt different to both of us, and uncomfortable for me. I explained it to my friend (a mom of 3, and at least 4 miscarriages) and she said I was ovulating that day (doesnt surprise me, most months I ovulate twice). Whatever the case was, all the dates were spoken for and there were plenty of times it could have happened.

I need to insert here that I have been told I have low hormones and to not be surprised if I have trouble getting positive home pregnancy tests, and even blood work. Rare, but more common than one might think. You CAN be pregnant with low to no hcg in your urine and blood. And it can still lead to healthy babies. That was even confirmed by another doctor we went to recently. Anyhow....

Fast forward some. All of the symptoms had been full swing for a while. There is a list of them I will put up later in this post, but trust me, I felt each and every one of them from pretty much the get go.

I had one faint positive on a hpt. I went to a clinic to get confirmed to get on medicaid. The test came back negative. She said not to worry, their tests had been sitting on the shelf too long and they had gotten negatives on 5 and 6 months visibly pregnant women in the last week or two, and needed to order new tests. I then had an appointment set up for Dec 19th. She said to call if I got my period before then.

On the 15th I spotted a tiny bit. But it was not a period and my husband and I had fooled around. Never before did I spot after making love and it has become every time simce the beginning of December. I had been experiencing a cough and shortness of breath since the middle of November and a friend was concerned. Knowing our financial situation, she said to go to the e.r. to address that. I told her shortness of breath, while more common in third trimester, was due to hormones and nothing to be concerned about. Alot of my friends (even super skinny ones) had it their entire pregnancy and they were told it was normal by their doctors.

Longer story short there, the doctor would not listen. I told him I had low hormones but was pregnant. He said urine and blood tests were negative. He refused to do an ultrasound (they were not busy at all that night). He literally crushed my ovary 5 times and laughed about it. I almost blacked out, vision went black, almost completely lost hearing, had heat/sizzling in my head and ears each time he did it. No explaination as to why he was doing this, and he was amused when I screamed at the top of my lungs in agony. I literally felt my ovary pop back into its original shape each time he let go! He then sent me for an MRI with contrast dye (really upaet my husband) for my chest. His conclusion was shortness of breath was hormones. He could not explain any of my symptoms, nor the fact I was over 2 weeks late for my period. Said I am not pregnant, never was. When I challenged him, he stuttered and stammered and said I was pregnant but lost the baby in November. I said no, I had a period in November and concieved in the end of November. He stuttered more and said he had no idea, but I was not pregnant.

None of that seemed right. I had no pain, no bleeding, nothing. 19th came and I went to my appointment. Brand new tests. Urine came back negative after waiting for 2 minutes. I told her my positive took longer to get before. She waited another minute and said it was negative. I begged her to do the Ultra sound because I knew I was, I just had low hormones. They run in the family.

Ultrasound lights up, my husband and I swear we saw 2 sacs. She only mentioned one. Said I was definitely pregnant, never miscarried, and had a thickend uterine lining. Too early, come back in a few weeks.

Lets fast forward. I am taking pics every week, my belly is changing shape and growing, my symptoms are getting stronger, my husband and I are planning everything out that we can, as best we can being first time parents. I have been on prenatals since November 16th and am eating small portions, more often each day to help with nausea. Guzzling water, and all that. I have begun spotting very lightly on and off. Was told everything was okay, it was only a little when I wiped, nothing to worry about.

I was increasingly saddened that no one wanted to take me as a patient until I could get posotive blood or urine test. So I went reasearching. On one site alone I found 36 long pages of testimonies of women just like me, never a positive blood or urine test, all doctors slighting them or down right calling them crazy, but finally believing them when they were 20 or 30+ weeks when visibly pregnant and able to see baby kicking from the outside.

A friend of mine in Canada took less than 30 seconds and had the answer. There are places all across the US that will do ultrasounds without any blood or urine tests, or doctor order required. I set up an appointment, walked in, paid the fee, and hopped up on the table. 

Yes, these are lisenced professionals that know what they are doing. They only do pregnancy ultrasounds, transvaginal (with doctor order) or abdominal. You can go in as often as you want to see your baby. What did we see? Same thing we saw the first time. A cute little gestational sac (will explain in a minute). A larger one behind it that we immediately asked about it being twins.

"It is too early to tell that. But you are definitely pregnant. Your uterine lining is really thick. And everything looks really good. You just ovulated later than you thought. I cannot tell conclusively for another few weeks, but it looks like youre just shy of 5 weeks." Her exact wording. She explained all we were seeing, and printed pictures of our little baby to be. Said come back in 3 weeks and we will see alot more.

We left and I showed the pictures to several friends who all said their ultrasound looked very similar at 4 weeks. 

Then yesterday came. Again, as long as this post already is, I will be as brief as I can here. I had been spotting lightly since the ultrasound, which I know is normal. But this time, yesterday morning, I felt it come out. I stood up out of bed, and I was just about to ask my husband to make breakfast for me, when I felt it and hurried to the bathroom. When I dropped my underwear I saw something I have never seen before.

It was a fist sized clot. I did not panic. I am in the medical field and my training kicked in. I asked my husband to bring me his phone with the flashlight on, my phone and his headlamp light. I inspected it and saw no tissue. Solid blood.

Calmly told my husband and he said we have to go to the e.r. I said okay, but told him my gut said, as weird as it sounds, though it is not normal, it is not serious. Since the e.r. here hurt me so badly last time, we drove an hour north to a hospital we like better as a whole (doctors are give or take, but that is with any hospital).

We arrived just before noon. Usually our wait time there is 30 mins. 2 hours happened once. Yesterday, 7 hours 15 mins. They had taken urine and blood in triage so that was already done. I told registration, both triage nurses, both RNs once back in a room, my charge nurse, and the Doctor that I have low hormones, tests have been negative but I had an ultrasound 2 days ago and I am for sure pregnant.

The doctor came in and said "You're not pregnant. Blood came back negative, we didnt do a urine test because with you bleeding there will be blood in the sample, and blood is more reliable." 

I told him I know that. He looked up from his notes to stare at me. I told him again, low hormones, ultrasound 2 days ago. I am pregnant. He asked again when, I said 2 days ago. He said, "That is not possible. If you miscarried it would still give a positive result." 

I said I have the ultrasound pictures. I have measurements and everything. Told him my uterine lining is thick and everything looked good, nothing of concern as of 2 days ago. He asked where, and I told him. He said whoever it was is not qualified. I said yes, they are all liscensed and registered with the board. He did a double take and retracted, saying he did not know why they then, but they didnt know what they were looking at.

He came over and pressed on my stomach and asked if it hurt. I said no, I have had no pain anywhere. He said he was going to order an ultrasound. 

Had a transvaginal. They would not let me look at the screen as the tech did it. Once, he flipped the screen around to say that was my uterus and those were my ovaries. When he did, I saw that same thing as I had the two previous ultrasounds. First ultrasound, according to the second, was at about 2 weeks, and the second was 4 weeks ish. And the sac was bigger the second time. 

When the results came in all the doctor said was it is negative. He said he will admit he has treated women who have been pregnant with no hcg in their blood. And they were definitely pregnant. But he said I am not. I said okay I will deal with that if you can tell me how I have had all these symptoms and not had my period since 11/8/17. He said hormones and that it is totally normal not to have a period for two months, and then pass massive clots.

Let me assure you guys, I missed a period Dec 2 and the last week of December. I am a regular 26 day cycle. Occasionally I am 24 days (twice in my life). But never less than, and never more than 28 (once in my life) At my 2nd ultrasound, she said everything is based on a 28 day cycle and a 14 day luteal phase. If a woman is not exactly that it makes dating hard early on. Even one day more or less creates chaos, especially in situations like mine, and with my cycle being 26 "anything can happen". She said her best guess was I ovulated later than previously thought (goes along with my friend saying I was ovulating on 27th of Nov) and implanted in the middle of December. She said there is definitely a chance I ovulated either 2x in Nov. Or end of November and early december and both took. Twins can be concieved up to 3 weeks apart (not too commen, but it happens). If I was having twins, mine would be 7 to 10 days-ish apart. And that would explain alot of things. She said to come back in 3 weeks and we would see.

So having said all of that. The doctor last night took the massive clot I passed that morning and examined it. Being in the medical field I had known I had to bring it with me. Plus, I took a ton of pics when it had just happened. He was looking at it about 8 hours after the fact. 

However, he explained in detail exactly what it was. Summary is full on blood clot, no tissue, no placenta, nothing. He said I definitely did not miscarry, and nothing looked comcerning. Even said "Even if you would have been pregnant, this, while it looks scary, would not have been a miscarry." 

I looked at everything I passed and there was not tissue in it. Tissue is white or gray mixed in and everything I passed was solid blood. He told me to rest in bed, drink alot of fluids, and not to worry because all of this is normal.

So this leads to where I am confused as heck....

He did not tell me any of my levels, do I cannot compare them to before. I am really not understanding. I am not saying I think that a transvaginal ultrasound is wrong, exactly.

But I am not understanding how:

-Last period was 11/8/17, and have not had one since. 

- My stomach has grown larger and completely changed shape (I do not know how to put pictures up on here or I would). I have gained and lost weight all my life and I have always had a B belly and/or apron belly. Now that line at the belly button has all but vanished and it is super round.

-My breasts went from a double d to a triple d in 3 days time. 

-Went from a very high, adventurous sex drive to absolutely none at all.

-My hair has grown a good 3 to 5 inches.

-Nails are growing twice as fast.

-How in the world I keep having all these pains in my nipples, even as of last night. Feel like lightning sharp pains. Then the next day they will feel like they have been beaten and tortued for days.

-Massive areolas, super dark

-Nipples have gotten huge and are perky most of the time. My husband said it usually took him a decent amount of work to make them come out before. They havr even changed shape.

-My breasts have completely changed shape.

-My breasts have been super sore on and off the last 6 to 8 weeks. 

-Had two ultrasounds that confirmed our gestational sac is there.

-I have had nausea from hell on and off for 6 weeks. I mean like, my whole body is nauseas and I vomit violently. Sometimes for no reason out of the blue, other times for smelling certain foods.

-Never had a food craving in my life until recently. Very specific, will cry or panic if I dont get it, and it tastes amazing, food cravings. Really strange cravings sometimes. Food I have never liked before.

-Aversions to random foods. Donuts were one, I vomited on sight or smell of them for weeks. The sight of eggs made me vomit, my husband would have to block my view of him and his plate when he ate them.

-Have had to pee all the time.

-TMI warning, my down there region has been dark red/purple for a month.

-Large blue veins popping up all over my hands, feet, legs, arms, breasts. Small timy ones cover my breasts, legs, and some on my feet.

-have been ridiculously tired for 4 to 6 weeks. Especially the first two weeks. Could not hardly hold my eyes open. And the girl who would always be bored out of her mind into the wee hours of the morning when husband went to bed at 9, has been crashing between 5 and 9 every night. Can sleep for 10 to 14 hours and still feel tired. Up at 7, need a nap at 9, 12, 3, 5 (I definitely dont nap that often. But that is when I want to nap).

-have been ravenously thirsty since about November 20th and have guzzled between half a gallon and a gallon of water each day, amongst fruit juices, 20 oz or more a day. And I am still thirsty all the time. Used to drink 20 oz of liquid a day before all this, if I was lucky. I was just never thirsty before and it was hard to force it. Now there is no forcing. 

-On that second ultrasound 3 days ago, not only did we see (what we were told) the gestational sac, but we were told everything looks good. She also said she had absolutely no concerns. Said I am early and to come back in 3 weeks.

-TMI warning, have gone from constipated to complete liquid stool constantly, regardless of what I eat. For 6 weeks.

-I have gained over 5 pounds since November. Yes, I am big to begin with. But I eat completely healthy, I have been exercising, and everyone says I am doing things right, even the doctors I have seen.And I had been the same weight for about 2 years prior.

-My stomach has gotten firmer every single day. Not like I'm getting a six pack (and that would never happen lol). 

-All of my currently or formerly pregnant friends and family keep mentioning the glow, and the little bump that is forming.

-Mood swings off the chart. I have cried over food, which I had never done before. I panic about everything all the time, and it makes me cry. I got angry at my husband the other day about a spoon. Then cried about it.

I am not trying to be the crazy lady who swears she is pregnant even after getting "a negative" ultrasound. I just truly am not understanding. 

I know that one thing the doctor told me is flat out wrong. It is NOT normal to miss two entire periods. It may be for some women, but it is not for me. I am 30 years old, I have regular periods. I have never missed one in my life. There has only been two other times they have been late. One was 2 days late and the other was about a day and a half late. I was super stressed and we were moving both times. Neither of those times did I experience any of this.

My period symptoms have never included anything I just listed. When my husband and I met, I told him he would never know when I am on my period unless he saw my trash bin. He laughed it off because all of his exes were totally the opposite. He would know it was that time of the month just before they started by their change in attitudes and behavior. To this day he tells people he is amazed that that statement is true. He never knows unless he sees the trash bin has hygiene products in it. 

My period symptoms go like this. The day before I get a very slight lower back ache. My stomach feels week an achy like when I have the flu. That is it. I do not crave foods, I have never cared for chocolate. I do not get weepy, nothing else hurts or gets sore. I don't get cramps. Other than having an off the chart heavy flow (2 overnight pads worn simultaneously, have to be changed every half hour to hour, or a Super Ultra tampon and overnight pad has to be changed in same time span), my periods are consistant and lack any other symptoms. That has always been my normal. They once tried me on birth control to control the heaviness and I bled like a stuck hog- 2x as much and 3 weeks at a time. Conclusion: this is normal for me.

I know this post is crazy long and I am deeply sorry. I am frustrated. My husband and I are struggling financially and cannot afford to go to an OB GYN to find out what is happening (we cannot pay rent or electric this month as it is). But something is definitely wrong, despite what the doc said, if I am having all of these things happen and I am not pregnant. Cannot be the flu for 6 weeks straight. And the flu does not account for anything but nausea.

Advice, prayers, encouragement greatly appreciated. And again so sorry for the long post. Please ignore any typos, I proof read as best I can but I typed it all on my phone.

Re: Desperately Need Advice, Support, Encouragement

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  • *TW* last year I experienced a missed miscarriage. Baby stopped developing early. I missed 3 periods, had all the pregnancy symptoms, cravings, nausea, belly was growing, etc. I started spotting at 12 weeks, and had an emergency ultrasound done. All they found was an empty sac. They never let me see the ultrasound screen, and I wish they wouldve so I could’ve seen it for myself. I still question what actually happened, and what they saw. Especially given the amount of blood & clots my body passed about a week later, causing me to be rushed into the ER for an emergency d&c and later, two blood transfusions. It was hard for me to accept that my body continued to progress as if I was still pregnant, even though I was not. Not anymore at least. I’m sorry you are going through a frustrating time. But I just wanted to share my experience with a similar situation of missing periods but not actually being pregnant, as your post definitely reminded me of what happened to me in ways. I hope you get the answers you are searching for. 
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