Baby Showers!

krash_ · January 2018

Just thought it would be fun to talk about our shower ideas, if/when you're planning on having one, who's hosting or any crazy planning drama.

krash_ · January 2018

I have a big divorced family but I am planning on having one shower. I live 4+ hours away from all of my family and I don't want to have to drive for three different weekends for three different showers. I had one shower for my bridal shower as well and it worked out ok. It will probably be about 60 people, all women because it would basically be a second wedding if I invited men and women. My mom, her wife, my step mom, my MIL and my sister will probably all plan it. I'm sure as they get into more planning there will be drama. Nothing sticks out from my bridal shower other than my MIL telling me that my family is very particular.

I want to do a brunch for baby theme. I was hoping to do mimosas but given the size of the shower we have to host it at an event space and most of them have lots of regulations about serving alcohol. I thought about paying for it myself but one place I looked into would be $500+ and I'm just not sure that's worth it. As far as other things go I'm thinking donuts, a few different breakfast casseroles like an egg bake or strata and some meat and cheese plates obviously multiplied to feed 60. I found one really nice community center that if the event is under 100 people you can bring your own food. I think with it being brunch and from probably 10 am 1 pm we will need to have a bit more food so some more food ideas would be great!

We are team green but I still want a spring floral feel with greens and peaches. I've started a Pinterst boar that I will invite my sister to and hopefully she can communicate that to the moms. They don't really appreciate the same aesthetic as I do but I don't want to seem like I am planning my own shower.

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@krashke I love the brunch idea! I would love to go to a shower like that ha. Looking up brunch ideas before I saw a parfait bar and thought that was neat.
AFM, this is my second kid so I wasn't planning on having a shower. But, my one friend already asked if she could throw one for me. I'm thinking of just letting her but telling her to make it a small, informal thing. If this baby is a girl I really will need nothing because I saved everything from my daughter and she was a summer baby also. I just don't want to seem gift-grabby for having another shower, but I also don't want to tell my friend no if she wants to throw one for me.

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

My wedding shower was an absolute planning isht show. My mom's friend proactively offered to host for us, and while the shower itself was very lovely (and mercifully co-ed), the planning process was a nightmare, and I think it actually damaged my mom's relationship with her friend. (Ex: the woman kept insisting on having a bunch of dishes with nuts in them even though DH was obviously going to attend a co-ed shower and he's deathly allergic)

I don't think I'll have a shower -- I did recently have two friends offer theoretically to host one, but they're both super busy, and I just don't really think it would actually happen. I also think I'd just end up with onesies (since that's the only gift I've ever seen gifted at the showers I've attended) instead of stuff we want/need/have room for. I'm just planning to give the registry links to our moms if our families ask, and I told DH if anyone asks what we want for the baby to say we'd love a copy of their favorite book from when they were a baby.

All that said, I would love to throw a baby shower for someone else! I love planning parties, and I have so many cute ideas lol.

ramblebee · January 2018

We are planning our own "Brews and BBQ before Baby" thing at the end of March. Local brewery, catered BBQ, coed, kids welcome, no gifts or cheesy games. I did find a website and set up a "baby pool" where people can guess arrival date, time, size, etc. so we'll probably have that available. Just want to see everyone.

Edit: To say MH is a brewer and in the industry so that is why we are going this route. Plus it is pretty casual just like our backyard BBQ wedding 10 years ago.

RatParade · January 2018

@ramblebee your shower plans sound amazing. It's totally up my alley (except I want gifts lol). My mom will probably throw one for me and I'll go along with whatever it ends up being. But yours sounds perfect!

twelvetwosomeonenew · January 2018

@krashke for my sister's shower we did a brunch theme, with a bagel bar and a yogurt bar, plus breakfast casseroles & her cake was a tower of donuts. So fun. So easy to break it up if multiple people were contributing food.
@lrichhx05 my sister is dead set on throwing a "sprinkle" if this baby is a boy. While I absolutely would love to see everyone & she will certainly make it an amazing time, I really don't want to come off as greedy or gift-grabby.

something this is what she sent me. Sooooo, I'm just gonna go with it. She loves to plan and to entertain & my family really likes donuts. Bahahaha.

&& @ramblebee can I come to your shower?? It sounds glorious!

marcus7676 · January 2018

@ramblebee we did something similar for DS - we had a co-ed BabyBQ with local BBQ and beer. It was just our local friends / neighbors, so it was more of an excuse to have a party. Ultimately, my sister had a second shower for our families (and some friends from my home state), but it was also co-ed and super casual.

I don't think we will have one this time. My sister asked and I told her we could do brunch with family (aunt and grandmother), but I don't want anything special.

MissKittyDanger · January 2018

My mum, MIL and my mum's bff are throwing my shower. {my mum and her bff threw my bridal shower}
Gifts are likely not needed, since we're getting a bunch of stuff for free soon but we'll see.

I told them I can help out if needed, but so far I've just been told to show up lol Bridal shower was old hollywood themed, so likely baby shower will be themed

{I got to be Audrey for my shower}

My husband has a divorced family, and also has a pretty big family. Plus this time, I'm inviting more of my friends {couldn't invite many friends to bridal shower since they weren't invited to wedding}

I've suggested something simple. All I'm really hoping is that they'll have milkshakes as part of the snacks, but I'm going to guess they won't since the location {oh no ... have to get one either before or after

}

mytinc · January 2018

For DS1 my BFF threw a co-ed shower. It was in a side room at a local restaurant/bar and was poker themed as DH and I were really into Texas Hold'em at the time and lots of our friends played. So there was a Texas Hold'em game with a pack of diapers as the "buy in" to play. We provided a $50 gift card to the winner. In addition to that we had appetizers and I did open gifts on the other side of the room, while the game was going on. Friends could get their own alcohol if they wished. It was a fun party. No typical shower games, which was nice. Just a reason to get together and socialize with friends in a relaxed way.

There wasn't a shower or sprinkle with DS2 and there won't be this time either. I have a private registry, but won't have an event of any sort over it.

profmcgonagall · January 2018

If I get the ok from my doctor for international travel, then my mother will host a baby shower. If I can’t travel, then she wants to do a Facebook party with online games and links to my registry.

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@twelvetwosomeonenew that's cute! I like the idea of a sprinkle.

aharv77 · January 2018

I probably won't have a shower but am secretly hoping someone decides to do a small sprinkle or a co-ed diaper shower for us since we have all the big ticket stuff we need from DD. This is my second baby but DH's first so his family would probably need to plan it. My mom did my shower for DD. I don't feel right about hosting one on our own. I guess the whole thing kind of makes me uncomfortable and I kind of feel a bad for hoping someone plans something for us because it seems selfish/gift-grabby.

My SIL mentioned hosting a get together with friends after baby comes with some cocktails and food so everyone can see the baby at one time. So that might be what we do!

LaceyBee522 · January 2018

I've had a few friends say something about a shower, but no one has taken any actual steps toward planning. I feel like I'm being gift-grabby, but with two I really want a shower and will take any gifts people are willing to give.

MoonOverGoldsboro · January 2018

This is my second baby (coming only 17 months after the first baby), and I truly, truly hope no one offers to throw me a shower. Is there a polite way to decline in that situation?

I loved my first shower as much as I could have, considering I don't really like showers of any type. I'm a librarian and it was book-themed and adorable. And my dad built me this beautiful wooden crate with "baby's first library" on the front that everyone contributed their favorite baby/children's book to. It's still my favorite thing in my son's play area!

LaceyBee522 · January 2018

MH and I had dinner with one of my oldest and dearest friends and her husband last night. Turns out she and three other close friends have already been discussing shower plans. I don’t know if it is pregnancy hormones or just regular, emotional me, but I am so touched by their thoughtfulness I basically started crying.

ashleymar1e · January 2018

My sweet momma and her best friend (my second momma basically) are doing it all. I hate being the center of attention, but I'll definitely play along. It's only for a few hours, right?? I'm due June 29th and she's planning it for Memorial Day weekend because it's also my birthday. Bit nervous I'll be incredibly uncomfortable by then, but I think I can suck it up. My mum and dad just retired and are over the moon for their first grandkid so I'm letting them go for it

. I think we'll have most of the big stuff bought by then so people don't feel pressure to spend loads of $$.

emiliadkay · January 2018

Have any of you been invited or been to a grandmother shower? Cute or tacky?

I'm fairly sure I don't want a shower (if anything, maybe a casual sprinkle with a very clearly defined theme for inexpensive gifts, like your favorite kids' book (love that idea) or diapers), but I'm feeling some pressure from my MIL to agree to a shower in my hometown with some of the same ladies who threw my bridal shower a couple years ago. It's her first grandchild, and I don't want to take away their chance to celebrate her, but I also really don't want to travel ~8 hours to be surrounded by women who have already been incredibly generous to us but, frankly, don't know me from Adam. Could a grandmother shower be the solution?

srb1028 · January 2018

@twelvetwosomeonenew I love the diaper/donut sprinkle idea! I may just have to do something like that if I have a 2nd! Or if my SIL and brother have a 2nd, I could do that for them!

This will be my first biological child but my DH's second. Our son is 9 so we literally have nothing baby related in our house. My mom and SIL are throwing my baby shower and started planning the second they found out I am pregnant. It will be on Cinco de Mayo (May 5th) & will be themed with atzec and bright colors along with a taco/burrito bar... I'm always craving Mexican. I found the perfect spring dress on sale for the shower at Younkers; it has an Aztec type print on it that's subtle and cute (also, it was $52 on sale for $11)! I'm worried there will be some drama with my SIL on my side of the family and my SIL on my DH side...currently they do not get along and I'm sure one will be jealous that the other is taking over the planning of the shower. I am staying out of it...

I convinced my DH to have a diaper and beer party on the same day of my shower so he can invite all of his friends and hopefully score a ton of diapers! His friends will likely be happy to bring diapers in exchange for free food and beer. My brother had a diaper/poker party and didn't have to buy diapers for the first 4 months! His party would be at my parents tavern, where he and his friends can play darts, pool, etc. Should be a good time for them!

Amphibious22 · January 2018

@MoonOverGoldsboro omg that shower sounds amazing! I absolutely love the idea of a book themed shower.

@emiliadkay I've never heard of a grandmother's shower, but it might be a good idea to let your MIL celebrate. I know mine will probably want to throw something too. It's a 6 hour drive for us, but I'll probably suck it up since she's such a sweet and awesome person.

My mom is throwing me a shower in MD for my family in March. It's a little early, but I don't want to deal with a cross country flight any later into my pregnancy. Also a little nervous about presents. I flew out for my bridal shower a few years ago and, even though I assumed common sense would tell people not to bring big gifts since I have to fly home, I got tons of stuff that I ended up having to return for store credit and buy again in California. Anyone have any suggestions for a polite way to say that yes we want gifts, but please ship them to our house?

Lolalipsy · January 2018

Second time baby so no baby showers here. Also, they weren't really a thing here in UK until recent years.

izza2 · January 2018

I feel like I'm so much more out of the loop than everyone else.

I know my mum and my SIL will be throwing me a shower. My mum has my schedule because she watches SS after school while H and I are working, so she knows what I'm doing and when I'm free. They know I don't want a surprise shower, though, because I hate surprises like that.

But, other than that, I have no idea. It'll probably be at my SIL's house and more of a backyard BBQ thing than anything fancy, and I'm okay with that. We're a casual, laid-back family, and they always have salt potatoes and I love salt potatoes.

raeliz13 · January 2018

My mom and cousin (my maid of honor, and more like a sister) are planning my baby shower. I know when and where, as well as most of the guest list but all other details are being kept a surprise. It’s going to be early, the end of February, as the doctors are planning to have me in the hospital between 26-28 weeks.

BurlapandLace · January 2018

This is our second, and DS will be just over 3 when #2 arrives, so we still have most everything from him. But we all think every baby deserves to be celebrated (plus this is a girl, so I don’t feel as guilty having a second shower since it’s the opposite sex). As soon as my best friend found out I was pregnant, she started planning the shower. She, my mom and MIL are planning it together. It will be at MIL’s house in the backyard the first weekend in April. DH and I have made one request and that’s to have it catered by our favorite Hawaiian place. And that’s all I know or will know until we show up. It will be co-ed and mostly family and a few close friends. Much more low key than the two showers we had last time (One with my family/friends and one with DH family and friends).

krash_ · January 2018

Q particularly for S+TM's that have had showers before...My options for dates would put me at either 29 or 30 weeks or 33 weeks. The first two I think might be a bit too early but the last one seems too late. Also consider that I have to drive 4+ hours each way to get to my hometown where it is being hosted. When should I do it? I need your help because I just can't decide.

aharv77 · January 2018

@krashke I was 32 weeks with DD and it didn't feel too early or too late. I wasn't super uncomfortable at that point either and I still had about 8 weeks to pick up any extras I didn't receive as gifts but had expected to receive like baby bathing things and extra crib sheets.

mytinc · January 2018

I think any of those dates would be fine. I don't really think there's a "too early" when you're in the 3rd trimester.

helenbz · January 2018

Hubby and I live thousands of miles from family. I don’t know what to do for a baby shower. I personally dislike registries or asking for gifts in general and it’s not something we tend to do in my culture...but FIL bought us a car seat and I realized he had to choose for himself and now I don’t know which one he bought...so I can see the benefit for giving people an easy way to give a gift that we actually need.

A few friends have asked me about a baby shower but I don’t know if I am supposed to organize it since we don’t have family here, or if I can just put a registry together and not have the big party.

A friend had a registry with a list of items people could bring new or used to her shower. I might do that if we are to do anything.

I’m also thinking if we did anything, it’ll be co-ed. I have no idea when showers typically happen? This thread helped.

I feel confused!

lrichhx05 · January 2018

@krashke I was 31 weeks for my shower and I thought that was good. I already felt huge and uncomfortable though so I don't think 29-30 weeks is too early. Also I ended up delivering a month early so I'm glad it wasn't planned for too late.

BurlapandLace · January 2018

@krashke - I would suggest doing 29 or 30 weeks. It’s not too early.

With my first shower for DS (My Family/friends) I was either 32 or 33 weeks. The second shower (DH Family/friends) was supposed to happen at 34 weeks and change. However, I ended up with kidney stones and going into preterm labor a few days before,
so that shower had to be canceled and turned into a meet the baby party after he was born, because I was placed on home rest until I went into labor at 39 weeks.

Obviously something like that happening is rare, but this time around I will be 30 weeks and change for my shower because I don’t want to push too much past that. Plus we are traveling 3 hours and I don’t want to be too uncomfortable for that or the shower itself. Also it will give us enough time to figure out what if anything we need to buy after the shower to have it here before baby’s arrival.

ETA that I will also be doing maternity pics a little earlier this time because they ended up getting done (as scheduled) literally the night before I went into preterm labor.

rnielsen321 · January 2018

@krashke
My shower was at 35 weeks and change, and DD arrived 11 days later. The shower was so late in my pregnancy, bot by my choice, due to the nature of Labour day end of summer and vacations etc. I had been dealing with Cholestasis, for a week at that point, and actually was running late to my shower as I had to check in at the hospital that morning... there was a chance they were going to keep me and induce that day, dependent on blood work. Luckily, the drugs were holding the levels at bay, and I made my shower. Then told my mom and everyone after why I was late.

So my vote would be 29 or 30 weeks.... You never know! And if you have to travel any distance, your OB may kibosh that at 33 weeks... That being said you could go 40 weeks plus!

I am hoping for a sprinkle... like April Showers type thing... As this one probably won't go past 36 weeks, and my chances of Cholestasis is 70% with this one.

MoonOverGoldsboro · January 2018

@krashke Agree with all above that 29 or 30 weeks is not too early, and I’d definitely pick those dates over the later one.

ffw0617 · January 2018

I'd never seen this thread before today. Probably have 3-4 showers. Still trying to decide if a shower in my hometown is worth the trip (flight). DH's grandma's 75th birthday party is this weekend we are traveling to his hometown for that, so we'll probably have more information on a shower for his family after the birthday party. DH's having a "smoke"/ "brotherhood"/ man shower its tradition in his fraternity. All the guys get together there's wings, beer, liquor, and cigars (usually coupled with some televised sporting event) and they bring diapers and wipes to shower the dad to be. The mom doesn't really attend (there's smoking) she stops by to hug and thank everyone, take a few pictures and leaves. As for the more traditional shower locally a friend of mine wants to host I just don't want a lot of money spent, showers are so out of hand these days.

marcus7676 · January 2018

@krashke we had our local shower at 28 weeks and I felt that was a bit early because I was barely showing. My second was at 36 weeks and that was pushing it - I was so swollen (August) and concerned about an early baby.

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