Why so rude?

sadd2013 · January 2018

Not anyone I’m here but I feel like people are so snarky for no reason but to tear people down. I was asking about gender predictions tying to keep my mind off of some issues I’ve been having in my first trimester. I’m 7 weeks along. I’ve tried for over 7 years for this precious gift and all I want is to celebrate it so when someone makes rude comments it’s disheartening to me. This is my first baby and I hope I do not lose it. So excuse me if I make stupid posts about gender guesses, baby dna features or anything related to what my baby will look like or act like. I do this to keep away from going into a fearful mindset. I do it hopin I will see my baby and be able to know for myself in 12 weeks or so... so please forgive me if I’m emotional.

lablover78 · January 2018

Hi sorry you had a bad experience. Everyone here understands the stress of a pg after IF. Feel free to introduce yourself on the 1st trimester board and participate with this group.

cseley321 · January 2018

Sorry someone was rude to you. I am assuming it was on another board? I haven't seen any negative activity on these threads (pregnant after infertility) As mentioned above, you are welcome here and feel free to introduce yourself on the first trimester thread

MMD1986 · January 2018

If I've learned one thing from posting on message boards its that you have to have thick skin. I'm not saying it is right that people were rude to you, however people tend to say things that they wouldn't normally say when they are anonymous behind a keyboard. Try to just brush off the negative comments and don't let them get you upset. It is also helpful to lurk the board you are wanting to post on to get a feel for the board vibe and what they think are acceptable/appropriate thread topics. I've noticed people do not respond well to people posting early ultrasound threads wanting gender predictions. Most likely because there is no way for anyone on the internet to tell you what gender your child is, and if everyone were to start threads like that the boards would just be clogged up with junk posts.

Congrats on your pregnancy. I've found everyone on this board to be very nice and supportive. As others have said, you should introduce yourself in the first trimester thread so you can chat with ladies in your same stage of pregnancy.

sarcasticowl · January 2018

@sadd2013 The women on the other boards are very quick to call people out for not following The Bump's protocols and they report posts such as yours constantly. It's one of the reasons why I will always stick with my IF ladies. While I don't condone their behavior whatsoever, it's tough for people to see 6 or 7 week ultrasounds, where there is barely even an embryo present, and predict gender. You're more than welcome to talk about your hopes and fears for your baby but realistically hoping for people to predict gender from a little glob on a screen is tough. I'm not trying to be mean but at that gestational age not even a doctor or an ultrasound tech would hedge bets on gender, you know?

TravelingCouple · January 2018

@sadd2013 I've been a reg of TB for years and I know when I first joined years ago, the snark surprised me. But once I stuck around and got to know the ladies, I realized that this community has some of the most loyal, Kick-Ass women of any other forum I've ever seen. Most of the women come from a place of truly just trying to point everyone in the right direction to receive accurate information. I'm not sure which post you're referring to, but I do know that's it's impossible for the ladies on these forums to tell you the sex of your baby and, as hard as it is to wait, it'll be much more well received if you leave the ultrasound reading to the professionals and share the sex of the baby once you know so everyone can celebrate with you. Try to let the snark roll off your back. Once you're comfortable with the different formats of the different boards and get to know people and their stories, and they you, I'm sure you'll find that the ladies on TB are fiercely supportive. They have helped me through some really tough times. IF it's not a fun road, huge congrats on your Pregnancy!!

ReesaAnne16 · January 2018

Ditto to what the other girls said

You will find a little less snark in the PAIF forum, as we've all been through a lot and I think have developed a little more compassion along the way than the average Bumpie. It really is impossible to tell anything about gender from early ultrasounds, especially only a few weeks along.
Hang out with us here in the PAIF forum, we're all worried about our little beans after such a long journey and hoping for the best together

sadd2013 · January 2018

Thank you guys, I really honestly don’t think people can predict gender but I just find it fun. I just moved to a new city and have no friends or family around so I try to find Community on here that is supportive and kind. I know not everyone is going to be nice but I try and connect anyways. Infertility is so lonely and having issues in pregnancy is scary so I try and keep my mind positive. Thank you for the kind words and responses.

Why so rude?

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