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Monday (& beyond) Bitchfest | Jan. 1-7

ldawngirl781ldawngirl781 member
in February 2018 Moms
It wasn't started yesterday, but I'm sure we'll need it... 


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Re: Monday (& beyond) Bitchfest | Jan. 1-7

  • ldawngirl781ldawngirl781 member
    I've got a good one... we were at the in-law's last night for dinner. I was laying down on the couch with DH and baby was kicking a bit off and on. DH says to BIL, "hey want to feel the baby kick" and BIL immediately gets up and was all gung ho. I very quickly said "Baby's not moving right now." and he went back to his chair.

    DH apologized later on, but seriously... ugh. He said something about wanting his brother to feel the baby and how cool it is, but it's my body. He gets that now, and says he feels bad for me and BIL. But now I feel bad for BIL too as I'm guessing he knows the issue and I feel bad for kiboshing it. 
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  • eggplantfaceeggplantface member
    ldawngirl781 said:
    I've got a good one... we were at the in-law's last night for dinner. I was laying down on the couch with DH and baby was kicking a bit off and on. DH says to BIL, "hey want to feel the baby kick" and BIL immediately gets up and was all gung ho. I very quickly said "Baby's not moving right now." and he went back to his chair.

    DH apologized later on, but seriously... ugh. He said something about wanting his brother to feel the baby and how cool it is, but it's my body. He gets that now, and says he feels bad for me and BIL. But now I feel bad for BIL too as I'm guessing he knows the issue and I feel bad for kiboshing it. 
    I'm with you. No one but H and I need to feel the baby kick. Too intimate.


    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    ldawngirl781 said:
    I've got a good one... we were at the in-law's last night for dinner. I was laying down on the couch with DH and baby was kicking a bit off and on. DH says to BIL, "hey want to feel the baby kick" and BIL immediately gets up and was all gung ho. I very quickly said "Baby's not moving right now." and he went back to his chair.

    DH apologized later on, but seriously... ugh. He said something about wanting his brother to feel the baby and how cool it is, but it's my body. He gets that now, and says he feels bad for me and BIL. But now I feel bad for BIL too as I'm guessing he knows the issue and I feel bad for kiboshing it. 
    I 1000% understand you. No one but my husband has physically felt the baby kick. It’s still my body and I’m not a touchy feely person anyway. Also it’s nice to have a special moment that just he gets to share with me. Once the baby is out, everyone will get to hold him and squeeze him and feel all the squirming that they want. The most anyone has been “allowed” to do at this point is see my belly move when he’s going to town in there. I wouldn’t feel bad if I were you, it’s your body and you make the rules, regardless of what’s growing inside of you! 
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  • amb929amb929 member
    It’s not even 8am here and the snow has barely even begun. There is a state travel advisory going into effect at 8:30-9am... and our furnace keeps shutting off after 4 minutes. So we don’t REALLY have heat. We can’t go anywhere and if we stay here and they can’t come fix it... we are all sleeping on the couch around the gas fireplace and hoping for the best. I’m in tears. I literally cannot with this right now. 
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  • babymakes9babymakes9 member
    amb929 said:
    It’s not even 8am here and the snow has barely even begun. There is a state travel advisory going into effect at 8:30-9am... and our furnace keeps shutting off after 4 minutes. So we don’t REALLY have heat. We can’t go anywhere and if we stay here and they can’t come fix it... we are all sleeping on the couch around the gas fireplace and hoping for the best. I’m in tears. I literally cannot with this right now. 
     Our furnace went out yesterday as well,  but it was able to be repaired quickly! Hope the repair man gets to you asap and its an easy fix! Ours turned out to just need new filters and the flue adjusted. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
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  • amb929amb929 member
    @mamaof5already it needed to be fixed the day before Christmas Eve as well. The igniter went out. We waited for about 4 hours for the repairman to show up at like 9:45pm to change that one little thing. I have no explanation for what is happening now but it runs for a few mins and shuts off so it seems like a different issue this time. I hope a) it’s an easy fix and b) it gets fixed before the day is over but the jerk of a customer service rep didn’t seem particularly confident we would hear from them today which is really concerning because our bedrooms are all over the garage and the other half of the house is already pretty cold. If we lose power sometime today I’m gonna seriously lose it. I’m already in tears terrified we are all going to end up extremely sick or freezing without a way to get out and be warm. I think the insensitivity of the customer service guy increased my emotional reaction to this cause now I want nothing more than a new oil company when all is done. 
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  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    Glad you got it fixed @amb929!!!
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  • kbrinks2kbrinks2 member
    @amb929 so glad you guys have Heat! That would have been extremely scary! 
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  • eggplantfaceeggplantface member
    @amb929 I was told the same thing about those filters when we moved into our house! They trap allergens but are so dense that the air struggles to pass through so the unit has to work harder, which causes it to burn out faster. So we get the cheap, least filtering filters. Even with my allergy issues and our dog hair I'm fine with them.
    Me: late 30s | H: early 30s
    TTC #1 since April 2015
    RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
    IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
    IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
    Polyp removed May 2017
    FET May 2017 - BFP!
    Baby boy born 2/2/18

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  • amb929amb929 member
    @eggplantface I’m so profoundly grateful for my BIL and the fact that he’s HVAC certified. As soon as we can we’ll get one of the cheap filters. We were using the other one for allergy reasons but if it doesn’t have an impact then forget that! 

    @kbrinks2 I was freaking out so bad because I didn’t know what we were gonna do if it got really bad out and we had no heat. I’m glad it worked out to not be the case! 
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    @amb929 yay for heat! Being a homeowner really is the worst sometimes.
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  • amb929amb929 member
    kristinl492 said:
    @amb929 yay for heat! Being a homeowner really is the worst sometimes.
    Agreed. I absolutely hated condo living but the one perk was that they took care of this kind of stuff for you! 
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  • babymakes9babymakes9 member
    amb929 said:
    @mamaof5already they were like “ya, and?!” NE (specifically RI) is SO rude about all the things. Luckily... my brother in law does HVAC and while he doesn’t service oil burners, just gas, he has a giant truck, drove his whole family here from their house a couple miles away and took a look. He pulled the air filter out and said the reason it was turning off is that our allergen friendly high end expensive air filter was causing it to overheat. This is the air filter the damn oil guy recommended so he took it out and we are back in business! I cried and hugged him and then we had a little impromptu play date with his 10 month old and my SIL cause the whole family came lol like true New Englanders they had iced coffees from Dunkin Donuts when they showed up  :D
    So glad it's fixed and was something Simple!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    older siblings: ds 16 dd 14 ds 13 dd 11 dd 7 
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  • jenniferjoy37jenniferjoy37 member
    Yay for having heat! Stay warm ladies! 

    Soooo, I feel guilty. I feel like I’m not cooking the baby right. I went to the OB yesterday. My HBP is now causing the baby to be small (2 weeks behind EDD) and I feel like it’s my fault from being stressed out at work. I feel like I’m already hurting her and she’s not even here! I just feel terrible today. DH tells me not to worry and don’t stress, but that’s so difficult for me for some reason. I just want a healthy baby... 
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  • amb929amb929 member
    jenniferjoy37 said:
    Yay for having heat! Stay warm ladies! 

    Soooo, I feel guilty. I feel like I’m not cooking the baby right. I went to the OB yesterday. My HBP is now causing the baby to be small (2 weeks behind EDD) and I feel like it’s my fault from being stressed out at work. I feel like I’m already hurting her and she’s not even here! I just feel terrible today. DH tells me not to worry and don’t stress, but that’s so difficult for me for some reason. I just want a healthy baby... 
    I have high blood pressure this time around (I 
    never had a problem with DS#1 but since his birth its been “high-ish” like 135/85 routinely. They put me on labetolol about 2 months before I got pregnant and in doing some research I found out that that particular medication while considered safe can cause low birth weight/smallish babies. I had to cancel my biophysical profile ultrasound today because of weather but I know when I go on Tuesday, if the baby is measuring small I’ll feel terrible so I can sympathize with what you’re going through. I agree with your DH though. Do your best not to stress because that won’t help the situation and remind yourself if they’re treating the high blood pressure then they’re trying to prevent bad things and give you a healthy baby. I have faith it’ll work out. Try and stay strong and don’t feed into those guilty feelings. 

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  • jessilee15jessilee15 member
    jenniferjoy37 said:
    Yay for having heat! Stay warm ladies! 

    Soooo, I feel guilty. I feel like I’m not cooking the baby right. I went to the OB yesterday. My HBP is now causing the baby to be small (2 weeks behind EDD) and I feel like it’s my fault from being stressed out at work. I feel like I’m already hurting her and she’s not even here! I just feel terrible today. DH tells me not to worry and don’t stress, but that’s so difficult for me for some reason. I just want a healthy baby... 
    I had a two vessel cord with my second son. He got enough, but always measured small and was born at 6 lbs 8 oz, full term. They just watched him closely in my pregnancy and would have delivered early if his growth was suffering.  At 2, he’s fine (35%).  Try to remember: 1) someone has to be on the bottom half of the bell curve; 2) US at this point isn’t 100% accurate; 3) You’re doing everything you can already - work stress is not going to jack up your BP that much. If your doctor says you need BP meds, then just accept that and take care of yourself the best you can. This is NOT your fault; 4) Many kids, even if born small, will catch up by age 2 to their genetic potential (like preemies)
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  • jenniferjoy37jenniferjoy37 member
    @amb929 @jessilee15 Thanks ladies. They don’t have me on HBP meds at all yet (and I doubt they will). But I will be induced at 39 weeks now instead of them saying they won’t let me go past 41. It’s hard not to blame myself, but I will try! Thank you for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate it. 
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  • chucksmom15chucksmom15 member
    jenniferjoy37 said:
    @amb929 @jessilee15 Thanks ladies. They don’t have me on HBP meds at all yet (and I doubt they will). But I will be induced at 39 weeks now instead of them saying they won’t let me go past 41. It’s hard not to blame myself, but I will try! Thank you for the words of encouragement. I really appreciate it. 
    Don't blame yourself!!  We are all doing the best we can to juggle everything right now.  Sometimes your body is just going to do what it wants.  Treat yourself to something relaxing.  
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    @jenniferjoy37 2 weeks behind is still within the realm of normal, it’s mostly important that baby is growing symmetrically (ex: head measuring 2 weeks behind and everything else being ahead would be a concern). Plus US can be off by up to a pound at this point, it can’t really account for baby’s total body fat. Like everyone else said, try and relax! 
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  • gingermama29gingermama29 member
    jenniferjoy37 said:
    @chucksmom15 DH got me a prenatal massage for Christmas and that’s scheduled for next Wednesday. I can’t wait! My poor body hates me right now. 
    DH got me the same thing. I haven't scheduled mine yet but I'm so looking forward to it.
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  • jessilee15jessilee15 member
    I sense a theme! My sister got me a prenatal massage that have booked in 10 days!
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  • BrittaniLCBrittaniLC member
    I get a massage tomorrow!!!! Too bad I have to massage someone right after...it is my job so, whatever!
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  • RaeleenDRaeleenD member
    Just an FYI for those getting massages - I got a spafinder gift card from my MIL for Christmas and tried to use it last weekend for a prenatal massage. Apparently, even though the massage place accepts the cards, they couldn't figure out to accept the new gift cards. We ended up just paying for the massage and will go someplace else in the future (not complaining about more massages).  When I called SpaFinder, they told me only places with regular POS machines will work with these cards (our regular place just used square in their phones). My husband also called and they told him they just need to run it like a credit card. Not sure what is correct, but hopefully it is all figured out by the time any of you go get your massages if you have the same gift card. I think next time I'll make sure my husband tells MIL just to get the gift certificate directly from the spa so we don't have to deal with third party nonsense. 
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    For everyone getting massages, my coworker got a prenatal massage at a place that required her to have a doctors note saying it was ok . Not sure if this is the standard or an exception but just an FYI!
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  • BrittaniLCBrittaniLC member
    kristinl492 said:
    For everyone getting massages, my coworker got a prenatal massage at a place that required her to have a doctors note saying it was ok . Not sure if this is the standard or an exception but just an FYI!
    There are some reasons a place may ask for a doctors, especially if it is a high rush pregnancy. Not saying your friend has a high risk pregnancy, but they might have asked her some questions that lead them to believe they want one. OR the therapist might just be covering herself in case the worst happens. Maybe the therapist had a previous experience with a pregnant woman and now that is just her preference. 

    At least (hopefully) she was told when scheduling her appointment!
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  • kristinl492kristinl492 member
    BrittaniLC said:
    kristinl492 said:
    For everyone getting massages, my coworker got a prenatal massage at a place that required her to have a doctors note saying it was ok . Not sure if this is the standard or an exception but just an FYI!
    There are some reasons a place may ask for a doctors, especially if it is a high rush pregnancy. Not saying your friend has a high risk pregnancy, but they might have asked her some questions that lead them to believe they want one. OR the therapist might just be covering herself in case the worst happens. Maybe the therapist had a previous experience with a pregnant woman and now that is just her preference. 

    At least (hopefully) she was told when scheduling her appointment!
    She wasn’t high risk but she actually ended up going into labor 3 weeks early and had the baby before her scheduled appointment  :D
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  • wal2017wal2017 member
    Half complaining / half looking for advice:
    dh is a sweetheart, a very considerate and loving guy. He's been great through the pregnancy BUT-
    I feel like he just doesn't get it anymore.at this point in pregnancy, My hips hurt, feet are swollen, I'm tired all the time but cant sleep, working 45+ hours a week, trying to keep the house in shape and prep for baby. I'm so tired and so overwhelmed.  I know he can't fully appreciate what it feels like to be 36 weeks pregnant (obviously!) but it seems like he is totally oblivious to how much energy it takes to do even basic things like a load of laundry.

    anyone know of a good resource - like a blog or article- that he could maybe read to get a better perspective on this? I think he needs to hear it from a separate source, not just me. We have a great relationship and communicate well- he listens when I say "I'm at the end of my rope and everything hurts and I'm exhausted", but then he forgets by the next day.

    any ideas- I'm all ears!
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  • jessilee15jessilee15 member
    wal2017 said:
    Half complaining / half looking for advice:
    dh is a sweetheart, a very considerate and loving guy. He's been great through the pregnancy BUT-
    I feel like he just doesn't get it anymore.at this point in pregnancy, My hips hurt, feet are swollen, I'm tired all the time but cant sleep, working 45+ hours a week, trying to keep the house in shape and prep for baby. I'm so tired and so overwhelmed.  I know he can't fully appreciate what it feels like to be 36 weeks pregnant (obviously!) but it seems like he is totally oblivious to how much energy it takes to do even basic things like a load of laundry.

    anyone know of a good resource - like a blog or article- that he could maybe read to get a better perspective on this? I think he needs to hear it from a separate source, not just me. We have a great relationship and communicate well- he listens when I say "I'm at the end of my rope and everything hurts and I'm exhausted", but then he forgets by the next day.

    any ideas- I'm all ears!
    Yeah...mine is the same. And it’s our 3rd kid. He was truly shocked when I told him I couldn’t ski this weekend when he wanted to go (at 34 weeks pregnant). He also bought me a trip to LA for Christmas, which is super sweet. Except he didn’t know I couldn’t travel 4 hours away 3 weeks before my due date. And another good one - he asked last week if May was too soon for a half marathon (we like running together). I guess at least he asked? He is great about it, and supportive in many ways, but I swear men have no concept whatsoever of what pregnancy and childbirth are like! 
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