STM Jan Tell-All Med-free/Birth Center/Home Birth

llamamama14 · January 2018

This is a place for FTMs to ask questions and STMs to share (TMI welcome.) This edition is for all things related to med-free, birth center, and home births.

kmurdock925 · January 2018

I went med free with my first (not planned, def thought I would have an epi but baby came too fast). It isn't easy but it is definitely do-able and man, you'll feel so empowered after. Recovery was pretty easy (from what the nurses said much easier than recovery after an epi). Not really sure what is worth saying here other than feel free to ask questions.

Birthing the placenta was such a strange feeling. It was huge and I felt such a relief of weight/pressure when it was out. It was so weird, felt like a big fish.

meg95995 · January 2018

I've had 3 un-medicated births, and hoping for a fourth. Truly, by the time I was ready to ask for the epidural, it was way too late! My first baby was born ten minutes after getting to the hospital! With the last one, I had back labor, and didn't realize that I was in labor until I needed to push. I think that the only way that I was able to do med free all three times was that I labored at home as long as I could stand it, and since I didn't have any meds available, I didn't have a choice.

I was definitely amazed by the feeling of my water breaking, and the placenta. It is the weirdest and most relieving feeling, on both counts.

llamamama14 · January 2018

Question for those who have had med-free births or plan to. What is your biggest motivation? I've gone for the epi both times and don't really have any regrets. Curious what makes you hang in there.

sunshineandwhiskey · January 2018

@llamamama14 idk if this makes sense, but i want med-free JUST so i can say that i did it med free. IMO it just makes me feel like i could be a badass.

***Please, please, don't anyone take offense to this. I think everyone is badass no matter which way they decide to give birth.

lisa2589 · January 2018

@sunshineandwhiskey I totally get it. I had an epi and definitely plan to again if possible (like no pain tolerance here) but man it has got to be empowering to say I conquered that with no intervention!

BurlapandLace · January 2018

@llamamama14 ~ I choose to go med free because I know each intervention (epidural, pitocin, etc) each carries its own risks. Also, to avoid what is referred to as the cascade of interventions.

meg95995 · January 2018

@llamamama14 I was just telling my husband that maybe I should get the epidural just to have the comparison! Lol

like I said above, I didn’t really have a choice. But, I do love that I could “tough it out”. We all will end up doing whatever we feel we can/need to do to have a healthy baby, in the long run. And, the babies won’t know or care however they emerged.

krash_ · January 2018

FTM so not speaking from experience but I’m choosing med free because I think being able to feel what is happening will help me know what I need to do.

That being said, I’m still informing myself about c-sections and inductions because you never know.

srb1028 · January 2018

FTM here, considering partially med-free. Curious if any STM+ have done any alternatives to the epidural and if so if it helped the pain much? I'm terrified of being paralyzed from the waist down but not opposed to other medications that may help with pain.

Austenista · January 2018

@srb1028 They initially gave me fentanyl and it did absolutely nothing for my pain. I was high as a kite, which was terrible, but 100% still felt everything. The epidural in comparison was no big deal and not painful to me in the slightest.

I just finished watching the first episode of Intervention this season because it's set in general proximity to my hometown this season and they brought up fentanyl and how it's so potent and dangerous. I think if I'd known that it would have made me so out of it and that it was a narcotic people were addicted to on the streets, it might have changed my answer when they offered it to me. Knowledge is power, man.

dinodna3 · January 2018

@llamamama14 I went med-free because the thought of a shot in my spine was scarier than the pain I was in. With my second, I labored at home until it was too late to get pain meds anyway.

MoonOverGoldsboro · January 2018

@llamamama14 This sounds weird, but I really wanted to know how it felt. Sort of what @krashke said...I felt like going med-free would keep me in touch with what was going on and help me work through the experience. And it felt like a challenge I could conquer. Something about it felt really empowering.

That said, I definitely would have gotten an epidural if I felt like I needed it, and I definitely think there is a strong element of luck in getting a med-free vaginal birth. So while I do feel like a badass sometimes, I mostly just feel really lucky that it worked out.

kmurdock925 · January 2018

meg95995 yes- this! The only reason I went med free was because I labored at home walking around, watching tv and being comfortable. I had no idea I was at 10 cm when I got to the hospital and then the option was gone (they still offered it but told me it likely wouldn't work- so there was really no point).

lrichhx05 · January 2018

I'm thinking about going med free this time. I was induced last time and the contractions SUCKED so I'm really hoping to avoid that this time. I got an epidural and I wasn't numb and was still in a lot of pain, but it actually turned out to be a good thing because I was able to feel when I had to push. I'm worried about getting another epidural and being completely numb which I think would make pushing harder.

llamamama14 · January 2018

Thanks for the replies. @sunshineandwhiskey I get the badass motivation. I'm not sure it's enough for me but I get it.

@BurlapandLace I had some concerns about cascade of interventions/ higher risk of C section but now that I've labored well 2 times I'm less concerned about it since I know my body progresses well. (I've progressed quickly with both births. One was a C section because they discovered DS was face presentation when I went to push.) I do try to stay at home to labor as long as possible because I think it helps labor to be walking around at home.

@krashke @MoonOverGoldsboro Being able to "feel" what's going on is probably the strongest motivator for me. With the epi. it's weird not being an active part of my labor/ pushing. (I get completely numb.) I do have control over the epi. dispensing at my hospital with those push button things. I kind of wish I had lightened up on the push button a bit so I could feel more of the pushing. I was more aware of when baby came out of my body with my C section than with my VBAC ironically. With the CS I felt a tug. With the VBAC I felt nothing.

@kmurdock925 @meg95995 I was similar in staying at home a long time with DS not realizing I was in labor. When I got to the hospital I was 8 cm. I did get the epi. though. In retrospect I wonder if I should've held out since I'd gone so far but at the time I just didn't care and was excited for some pain relief.

@lrichhx05 I will say despite being completely numb I only pushed for 15 minutes with DD. The doc. and nurse said "Keep doing what you're doing! You're doing great!" Of course I had no idea what I was doing because I couldn't feel it but it didn't seem to matter.

@dinodna3 How far was "too far" to get the epi? I was allowed one at 8 cm. with DS (which surprised me.)

Do those who've endured think pushing is harder than contractions? I know I can go through the contractions since I've made it so far med free but I'm a bit scared I'll get to the pushing and go "oh crap" I wish I had an epi. right now...

MoonOverGoldsboro · January 2018

@llamamama14 I'm sure this varies, but I thought pushing felt incredible. It was the only thing I wanted to do--the sensation to push was SO strong, and riding that wave felt so, so good. I preferred pushing to contractions 100 percent.

dinodna3 · January 2018

@llamamama14 9, almost 10. I didn’t even have time to change out of the dress I was wearing we I arrived.

I agree with @MoonOverGoldsboro in that I HAD to push. The most painful part for me with when the OB was manually trying to stretching me out more. Both kids were sunny side up, so I had back labor. The pushing itself hurt but the pain was gone immediately after they came out.

murraydog2008 · January 2018

I'm also a med free person. I got through both of my births med free and I hope to do it again. I also did the say home as long as possible to take away the option. With my first, I was planning on med free, but when we got to the hospital they offered me a epi and I said yes because holy cow it hurt so badly! But 10 minutes later, I went from 4cm to 10 cm and it was time to push. No Epi for me and I was actually so happy that I had that taken away from me. The worst part was the "ring of fire". There is a reason it's called that. And knowing that the only way to get that feeling to go away was to push through it and get baby out was the hardest part mentally. With my daughter they had me birthing on my back and with my son, since he was turned funny, they had me birthing on all 4's. I did NOT like birthing this way. Not only did it leave me feeling like a freaking animal, it also made it really hard to rest between contractions. With the first one, I'd push like crazy and then could lay my head back and rest for a few before the next contraction came. On all 4's, you just stay that way because you've got the monitor all hooked up and going back and forth from positions is not easy at that point.

But - like others said - once that baby is out, the feeling is INCREDIBLE! I literally felt like I was high afterwards. I was up and walking around within 30 minutes of delivery. Able to go to the bathroom and clean myself up and put on different clothes before visitors came. And riding on that high from the first birth experience is what got me through the pain of the second. I didn't even try for an Epi with the second one because I knew I could do it

krash_ · January 2018

@murraydog2008 what/when exactly is the ring of fire? I imagine it as when baby is crowning. And that is when you are supposed to push?

Second, instead of being on all fours exactly could they have adjusted the top of the bed up so you could rest your head/upper body on the top of the bed? @doxiemoxie212 shared this idea once and now I am thinking that would be a better option than all fours. like this kinda...

Image: https://us.v-cdn.net/5020794/uploads/editor/6v/6k3jmofn2yis.png

murraydog2008 · January 2018

@krashke the ring of fire is when the baby is crowning. for me, it literally felt like my parts were on fire. Of the whole thing, it was the most painful part. You're pushing to get the baby to that point, but that's when you're pushing to get the baby out. Once you get the head out, the rest kind of slips right out after that.

The head of the bed was adjusted up, but it didn't really work to lean on it to rest. I'd put my head down on my arms, but with your tushie still sticking up in the air it's not really all that restful. Other people enjoy birthing in this position, but for me, it just wasn't a winner.

With round 1, while I was on my back birthing, they put this bar over the bed that I could put my feet on and push off of and had a towel wrapped around it for me to pull myself up as I was pushing. It was a very effective position for me.

kmurdock925 · January 2018

omg yes the ring of fire!! I remember I just kept saying "omg it burns, it burns it burns"...and then it was over and done and I had my baby.

I was talking with my friend a few days later who is a L&D nurse and she said "yeah...I didn't even mention the ring of fire for a reason...didn't want to scare you".

=caenis= · January 2018

Great thread.

Totally with you, @sunshineandwhiskey and @MoonOverGoldsboro - a huge part of the appeal of a med-free birth for me was that it was a challenge. An intense physical challenge, yes, but honestly perhaps even more of a mental challenge. Sort of like a long-distance marathon. I wanted to see if I could do it, and I was actually pretty pumped to try.

What really got me through it was the breathing exercises I learned in a birthing class beforehand. I highly recommend learning some of these techniques to anyone considering a med-free birth. They are a great coping mechanism and help you slip into a kind of...trance-like state.

There's also financial incentive in the country where I live to have a med-free homebirth. It's the standard here. You can opt to go to a birthing center or a hospital, but they do charge extra for it (unless you have a medical reason to go there, in which case it's 100% free). Unfortunately I had to be induced at the hospital because my LO showed no signs of arrival 2 weeks past his due date, so I actually did not have a truly med-free birth (I was on pitocin), but maybe it'll work out this time around. I'm definitely up for trying again.

Ugh, @murraydog2008 - the ring of fire. At least it's motivation to keep pushing and get to the end. :-p

doxiemoxie212 · January 2018

@krashke I actually got the idea for that position (*hides face behind fingers in shame*) from Jade Roper Tolbert of Bachelor/Bachelor in Paradise? She has a video up of her birth story. She did med free in a hospital (baby came 4 weeks early or she'd have done birth center). I found it interesting, and it's helpful to see how she positioned herself. I still think it sounds appealing (link to video below).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djpIMoZm_eQ

murraydog2008 · January 2018

@doxiemoxie212 @krashke that's different than the position I was in for sure. I was literally - all 4's. The midwife wanted my belly hanging in hopes that baby boy would turn himself around. Turns out - he was trying to and the cord was wrapped pretty tightly around his neck so he couldn't turn anymore. It was also a mechanism to relieve some of the back labor I was having because he was in that position.

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STM Jan Tell-All Med-free/Birth Center/Home Birth

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