STM+ Check In w/o 12/14

jsl82 · December 2017

I didn't see anyone start this yesterday. What is new for the all the STM+ ? I believe quite a few of us have started showing bumps on the HDBD thread. Is everyone breaking out their old maternity clothes yet? Were you a full panel maternity pants wearer or a demi? How are all the older kids handling news of their new siblings?

jsl82 · December 2017

I got my maternity clothes out of storage the weekend after Thanksgiving- along with our Christmas decorations. I have mostly been wearing my maternity sweaters- since I was pregnant & postpartum last winter my of my winter clothes are either maternity or pre first pregnancy. Today I was out of clean pants so I'm back in maternity jeans.

We found out last Friday that we are having a boy- so I'll have one of each!! We had discussed having a 3rd- but being pregnant sucks... so this might be it for us. Now we need to come up with boy names. I threw out the suggestion of having a couple name threads, one being for STMs/ MoM so we can sound off on sibling names. I figured we could start the name threads the first week of January- since most of us will know the sex in January and the next couple of weeks could see a big slow down with people not being online as much with the holidays. Let me know your thoughts.

Lastly, for this week we are getting a new car! Hopefully tonight- maybe Saturday. I am looking at either a minivan or the Highlander. I don't know if 2 kids warrants a minivan- but the sliding doors are enticing. Either way I'm getting a 3rd row- just in case I'm back on the bump with a 3rd in the next 2-5 years.

catlady1215 · December 2017

oh yah, I'm definitely in maternity clothes now. well kinda. my leggings still fit and my oversized sweaters are good still. but who wants to wear oversized sweaters when you want to show off the bump! so I want to get some warmer maternity tops. I just have some thin ones right now.
I'm full panel all the way. I didn't use to think I'd like that, feeling restrained. But when I tried the demi they just pushed in weird and made me look lumpy and weird. I was earlier in the pregnancy so I still had squish going on, so maybe later in the pregnancy it'd work better for me but I never went back and tried with DS.

otherwise. got my son here home with me today while I work.. so fun

. kept him home from preschool for the first time all year. I had hoped for a 2 hour delay (snow) cause then I'd keep him home anyway (not taking him just for an hour lol). but he's super snotty today, so I figured other moms and teachers would appreciate his germy face staying home the week before xmas. hoping its better by tomorrow! its his fav school buddies show n tell day, he'll be so sad to miss it.

also, I want to make myself presentable today to finally start our wkly belly pics. we started at 6 wks with DS, so we're so behind.

@jsl82 how exciting! I can totally see the appeal of a minivan. DH is so against it still. we both have cars though so even an suv would be huge for us! but I want to wait a year or so till his car is paid off then i'll trade mine in. I'm pretty sure I don't want to do this all again but I have time to decide on a 3rd row. but I agree, if you're kinda up in the air, just get that 3rd row!

also. I like the name post idea! throwing out sibling names might help people give other suggestions that sound good together, or give others ideas! we have no top runners right now, ugh.

jsl82 · December 2017

@catlady1215 Full panel all the way here too. The Demi are just uncomfortable for me- but the Old Navy waistband jeggings are amazing (and it's basically the same thing), so I'm thinking it might be the brand and cut I bought last time. I also found myself taking a little longer to get dressed yesterday since I was thinking that I would take a picture for HDBD at some point- thankfully I'm still posting only neck down so I just have to worry about making sure my clothes are clean.

marcus7676 · December 2017

I've been meaning to take my maternity clothes out of storage, simply so I can get my pillow. I still haven't told work yet (probably won't until after Christmas), so regular clothes from me with a maeband to help with my pants.

@jsl82 Exciting! My H wants a third but this pregnancy has been so rough on me that I can't imagine doing it again, with two kids. H gets that, so he asked which one of us was getting "fixed." I looked at him, told him that it was a major surgery for me and that he hasn't been pregnant, so the "fix" is all him. He was put off by that. Whatever dude.

We had a name post a while back (like right when the forum first started). I think starting a new one would be good though! We will remain Green, but I love looking at other people's ideas.

@catlady1215 I preferred demi jeans over full panel, but I had a summer pregnancy. I didn't need maternity jeans last time until 20 or so weeks, and by then it was june. Full panel were just too hot. I wouldn't go out and buy demi this time around, just stick with what you have!

catlady1215 · December 2017

@jsl82 I've never tried old navy. I might have to soon! oh I'm still neck down on here also. but I don't even think I got out of my oversized pajamas yesterday sooo it wouldn't have shown much bump haha.

@marcus7676 I've told DH he needs to be the one to get 'fixed' also and he laughs at me. like dude, you're watching me go through a 2nd not fun pregnancy annnnd about to watch me go through a second major abdominal surgery for your kids (I'm not prepared to make such a final decision while pregnant to get fixed while I'm opened up). all you need is a snip or two. I think he gets it but I'd have to be the one making his appointments lol.
oh with working from home. I fully don't expect to buy many jeans. I bought one pair so far.. just to have on hand. but I'm not even taking the tags off. leggings and pajama pants for the win!!

megara5 · December 2017

I've been wearing maternity pants for weeks now. Shirts are a bit of both. I only had a few things saved from my last pregnancy. One being my favorite shirt that I got at Target. I'm totally full panel. I agree that the demi panel just squished in and makes your belly look weird.

Austenista · December 2017

+1 for full panel. The ones that aren’t are so uncomfortable, especially as you grow, and can suck it.

I need some more maternity stuff too. Last pregnancy ended with a birth in November so while I do have warmer stuff, not as much of it. I might get some use out of my other maternity clothes in May-June though.

My motherhood maternity leggings (I loved them) are dying a slow death and sorely need replaced. I haven’t signed up with them again for this pregnancy. I need to do so though for all those sales and coupons!

May14th2011 · December 2017

I'm on my 3rd this time around and it is miserable but doable. I think 3 will be it for us, I can't do this with 3 littles, lol.

I've been in maternity shirts for almost a month now, and pants for a couple of weeks. I definitely need to get some more stuff though. I haven't tried the full panel, so maybe I'll test some of those when I go shopping.
DH might get fixed when we're done, but I'm definitely going back on birth control because I get intense pain from ovulation. If it comes back after this baby, I'm going to see the Dr about it though.

rnielsen321 · December 2017

So, our last pregnancy was supposed to be our only. (we only had one viable emby after IVF. So... I only ended up keeping 1 lonely pair of maternity pants. *by accident, in the back of the closet*

Full panel for the win!

Fast forward, and I am like 14w, still hiding pregnancy at work, barely able to get by on a few regular pants, too scared to wear maternity pants for fear they "shape" my belly to look more pregnant. Add that to a few shirts that were working up until this week are now "too short" or too tight. I have a really flowy peasant dress, that is a tent, and I hide all day in my office. behind a desk. with 6 more weeks until my probation is over, I will be pulling out all the scarves, sweaters and work from home days I can. DH assures me no one will notice, and well, I am just fat. (seriously, the right answer to my inquiries each morning!)

I received a few handmedowns from a girlfriend, and DH spent the day at thrift stores yesterday finding 2 tops and dress pants and jeans! I have 3 old navy items coming, and am hoping for some Christmas Mat clothes. Did I mention I hate looking for plus sized Mat clothes?

buffalove1211 · December 2017

I preferred full panel Old Navy last time. I did just buy a pair of demi from Gap online, so we will see!

jld419917 · December 2017

Full panel for me too. The demi was just uncomfortable on me.

katelynrae86 · December 2017

@jsl82 Congrats on the new car (and of course the healthy baby boy!). I totally see the appeal of the minivan or at least 3 rows. I have a tiny little Corolla so any upgrade will be awesome. We're planning on getting some small SUV in 2018, probably a CRV...I want to upgrade sooner than later, but afraid to bite the bullet because I really like not having a car payment...

@marcus7676 @catlady1215 Why are men such babies about vasectomies? I mean, I get it, it's a medical procedure and that can be scary. Plus the emotional (for lack of a better word...?) aspect to it..."manhood" and all. But seriously, after watching us suffer through pregnancy and childbirth (multiple times!) I feel it's on them. My DH avoids the conversation like the plague

Since having DS and staying home with him, I mostly live in leggings, workout wear, t-shirts and sweaters...so I think I'll be able to avoid maternity wear for a while. There are a couple maternity shirts that are cute so I've kept them in the rotation since I had the baby 14 months ago...lol.

I pretty much HATE maternity pants. Definitely full panel over demi. But here's my complaint: when you first put them on they're great....but after 20 minutes they're creeping down and I have to yank them up all day. Is this just me?

And YES to a new name post come January. My DH is no help (refuses to even talk about it until we find out sec next week) and it's one of my favorite things to talk about

I love hearing and talking different sibling sets.

lisa2589 · December 2017

I was so happy to bust out bust out my maternity clothes, I’ve been wearing them for a few weeks now not going to lie!! Full panel definitely for me. The demi pair I had the first time always seemed to make a weird line across my belly underneath my shirt that just screamed hey look at my maternity pants

On the other end of the spectrum I have a SIL who is on her 3rd pregnancy and refuses to spend money on maternity clothes, just wears regular jeans hair-banded below her bump and stretches out her non maternity shirts so I’m sure she has to buy new shirts when she’s done anyways.. everything about it looks so uncomfortable to me!!
It’s so funny that the DH “getting fixed” comment came up today ladies! DH randomly told me that he might want to be after this baby.. yes he’s mentioned a couple times that he thinks 2 will be enough but I’m not completely convinced that I would be ready to be done after this one... so I asked him last night why he was currently thinking about it and he said he’s pretty worried about being at home with DD and a baby on the days I have to work (which is once a week).. I giggled so hard (in my mind of course) at him. He’s a wonderful dad and some days I think he is even more equipped to handle DD’s busy-ness even better than I am! I have no doubts but apparently he’s having a bit of a freak out.

dinodna3 · December 2017

I broke out my maternity pants the week of thanksgiving. I can’t get the full lapel to stay up yet, so I’m rocking the demi for now. I actually prefer the demi because its too darn hot here for an extra layer. @katelynrae86 I really don’t like maternity pants either. I just wear jeans because I have a thing about leaving the house in leggings. I am constantly pulling them up too.

@jsl82 Two kids totally justify a minivan or third row. The only way my kids car seats fit in our current vehicle is behind the driver and passenger seat only, so we have no room for passenger. We have to get an new vehicle next year because three won’t fit in our current truck. I’m leaning toward minivan for the doors but DH is strongly against it. I’m more concerned about price versus “cool factor” and SUVs seem to be more expensive.

Im totally down for a name post in january. We don’t name our kids until they are born but I like to hear sibling name sets.

jsl82 · December 2017

@lisa2589 too funny that he's worried about having to take care of two. I'm sure you will both adjust fine. We are in the same boat- just as scared about having the second as we were the first- maybe educationally scared since we know how DD behaved as a newborn (the lack of sleep thoughts are terrifying). At the car dealership I mentioned that I didn't want to buy a smaller car while the possibility existed that we could have a 3rd and my husband refused to even hypothetically entertain the thought. I asked him if he was going to get fixed, and he basically agreed. Not sure if he is serious or just liked to say he doesn't want a 3rd. I'm still oddly on the fence (yet thrilled that we will have one of each- and keep saying I don't have to get pregnant ever again). I have a feeling that I will be on the pill 6 weeks after the birth of this little one- and we can seriously discuss a permanent solution summer 2019.

So we actually ended up buying 2 cars yesterday. My husband got a Rav4 and I got the Sienna. 2 under 2 just made it too hard to walk away from the convenience and space features of the minivan. I loved the Highlander though- so once we are out of car seats I will be getting the Highlander.

@dinodna3 the cost was a huge factor for us as well. The Highlander is amazing- but Toyota doesn't need to push deals on it since word of mouth is so strong for the vehicle. The minivan won with us based on price, space and the sliding doors. Being able to push a button and have DD run into the van on her own is huge. The space between the seats is huge too- and having 2 rear facing car seats takes up so much room- we wouldn't have been able to access the 3rd row with both car seats. DH also had the valid point that with Northeast winters- he was slipping and sliding trying to strap her into the car after the snow we got Wednesday night/Thursday morning. Being able to sit in the car, while adjusting the straps is a benefit if you deal with bad weather regularly.

jsl82 · December 2017

@katelynrae86 I believe that all leggings are maternity wear- anything that stretches and grows with you can be worn throughout your entire pregnancy. As for the name thread, I wasn't planning on starting until first week in January, just so it doesn't get lost with the upcoming holidays. I know I will be around less between Christmas and New Years, since I'm off from work and it's DD's birthday week so will be taking her out to celebrate and prepping for her 1st birthday party. If you want to start throwing out sibling names to us- I'm sure we can all take some time on this lovely Friday to avoid working for a bit and contribute (I know I am avoiding working today haha).

lisa2589 · December 2017

@jsl82 congrats on the new vehicles! We recently paid off my SUV or would have probably been pushing to look for a mom van this time around... the sliding doors would just be way too nice with getting a kid and an infant carrier in and out!!

sunshineandwhiskey · December 2017

so - I'm wondering - do you think it would be better to just do a monthly STM check-in? that way we can just bring it back whenever we want/need to?

kmurdock925 · December 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey - yes!!

There are sooo many weekly check-ins. Far too much for me, especially with smaller sub groups like this.

Xtabbikatx · December 2017

Hi, I introduced myself in the intro thread but I will again here.

STM with a 3 year old DS. Also a step-mom to two older boys 13 and 15. I am an engineer by degree and working in logistics. I am also in the national guard.

Due date is June 20 and I had complications during my first delivery and will be having this baby via c section June 6.

I am good with a monthly check in.

llamamama14 · December 2017

kmurdock925 said:

@sunshineandwhiskey - yes!!
There are sooo many weekly check-ins. Far too much for me, especially with smaller sub groups like this.

Yes!

lisa2589 · December 2017

I’m good with monthly as well! We can always pop back in to the threads if we have any questions in the meantime!

catlady1215 · December 2017

For mom's that already have 2, I got a car seat question.

we both have cars, we won't be getting new for awhile. DS is 5, so he's in his car seat still behind the passenger seat. We can't put baby in the middle. We never had ds in the middle.. so I can't remember if it was cause we couldn't or why? But even if we can, I can't trust ds to be that close to baby.

so I can't decide if I should move ds behind the driver? Or put the baby behind the driver? Can I see baby with mirrors if he's behind me? I like being able to hand things to ds when he's behind passenger.

bkrahn · December 2017

@sunshineandwhiskey yes to a monthly thread! I find I’m always overwhelmed with all the weekly check-ins, that I usually completely forget to post to this one

dinodna3 · December 2017

@catlady1215 DD sits FF behind the drivers seat and I can’t see her in the mirror. I can however still hand her stuff by reaching behind my head. I drive a mid-sized truck, so idk if it’s the same in a car or suv because our seats are tight. We have DS behind the passenger so I can see him in the mirror still.

kas80 · December 2017

I thought we were done so I don't have any maternity clothes. I sold it and all our baby gear right before we moved last summer. Whoops! I am a third time mom (4th pregnancy) and am huge. I have been wearing sweatpants and my husband's shirts mostly which worked fine since I suffered from HG and barely left the house until this week.

kas80 · December 2017

With my second I put baby behind the passenger seat and my 1st behind the driver. We did that due to legroom issues when my husband was driving (we needed a FF seat behind him).

catlady1215 · December 2017

Thanks ladies. I figured this might have been the move we have to make, just wasn't sure if I'd see him behind me. Wonder if I attach a small mirror that we had somewhere up front if I'd see him then. Leg room is another issue for DH and driving.

llamamama14 · December 2017

@catlady 1215 Yeah I agree you might want the FF 5 year old behind driver's seat so driver has more leg room would be my thought. Then you'll also have better visibility on baby if you do a mirror in front of the infant bucket seat behind the passenger's seat. Mirror tip: when I want to check on either kid (they're both RF) I take a CD and use it as a mirror at stoplights (usually to see if kids are awake or asleep.) You could upgrade and get a real mirror. Doesn't have to be attached if you wait til stoplights but I'll bet there are some options out there that suction on places if you want it up somewhere.

Xtabbikatx · December 2017

I have question.

I am not feeling attached to this baby. With DS I remember reading all the books and keeping track of what he was doing developmentally. This baby I am purely in survival mode. I am not even talking to it yet. (14 weeks) This time around I have a toddler, working full time and in the NG, and last time he was my first I was working part time and in still in the guard.

Is this normal? I am hoping that as I feel it move I will become more attached.

TravelingCouple · December 2017

@jsl82 congrats on the new cars!

We're also looking to get a second car before baby and I'd considered a minivan, but I live somewhere that needs a car that can handle well in heavy snow and winter conditions and I haven't found a single minivan that rates well in the snow. Super bummed about that. We have a Camry that will fit two car seats easily and has a pretty large trunk, so we're probably going to just get a simple car for DH to take to work and I'll keep the Camry.

@Xtabbikatx I think more women feel that way than you'd think. I wouldn't say I feel unattached to this baby, but it's definitely different than my pregnancy with DS. With your first, you can focus solely on that pregnancy and it's also new and exciting. This one is still very exciting for me, but I'm not obsessing over every little thing like I did with DS. I think once it starts feeling more real, you might feel different. Give yourself some grace, you're taking care of a lot at once!

I read this article yesterday and got some laughs, it might make you feel better!

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4293463

AFM, I'm all for monthly check ins and a name thread soon. I'm in some maternity clothes and still some regular clothes, I have all my maternity stuff unpacked though. I like both Demi and full panel for different purposes.

sunshineandwhiskey · December 2017

@Xtabbikatx in all honesty - I never felt attached to DD until she was born, and i definitely don't feel attached to this one yet either. It happens and its definitely normal. I absolutely hate pregnancy, and I think that has a lot to do with my attachment levels. Hugs

lisa2589 · December 2017

@TravelingCouple love the article! Thanks for sharing. So much truth. Once I got over some of the first trimester anxiety, I actually feel like it’s going faster this time since I’m chasing DD around instead of daydreaming about how life is going to be

jsl82 · December 2017

@TravelingCouple the Toyota Sienna is the only minivan with 4 wheel drive (at least that is what we were told). I don't think it drives much different than our old Rav4- I feel like I sit up a little higher. Good luck with the car search! It's so hard finding a car big enough for multiple car seats.

@Xtabbikatx it is completely normal. As @sunshineandwhiskey said not everyone feels attached to the baby during pregnancy but it is harder as a STM because you have a toddler demanding all of your attention. I heard an interview that Mila Kunis gave where she said the same thing- with her first she knew what size fruit the baby compared to and what it was developing. By the second you are happy if you know what month you are (forget exact week). Not being attached to pregnancy will not stop you from bonding with the baby, so do not worry about it.

TravelingCouple · December 2017

@jsl82 I love Toyotas too, I'll have to check out the Sienna

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