PGAL (Pregnant After Loss) Check In Week of 12/13

SmashJam · December 2017

FOrgot yesterday! Whoops

This is a check in for those of us who are experiencing pregnancy after a loss (miscarriage, chemical pregnancy, stillbirth, child loss, to name a few). Hopefully we can all lend support to each other through the hormone filled craziness that is pregnancy!

Just a reminder: there is a general loss trigger warning on this entire thread.

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

4. When is your next appointment?

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short:

lizziealyssa · December 2017

1. I'm 4 weeks along just today
2. Feeling a bit crampy but that's it
3. I am very very anxious We recently moved to Prague and I had two miscarriages around the move. One the week before I moved out of my house in TX when I was just under 12 weeks (we found out the baby had passed away at 8w3d and I waited two long weeks for baby to pass.) The next miscarriage was at 6 weeks the week we moved to Prague. So I had to figure out how to deal with the miscarriage in a new country with a language barrier and 0 support network. I feel like something is up to have had two miscarriages without any complications in prior pregnancies, but they won't look into it until I've had 3 miscarriages. So I'm going into this thinking odds are I will lose the baby so that I won't be as much of a wreck if it happens.
4. When I had my last miscarriage the lady told me to come in at 5 weeks so I have an appointment when I am exactly 5 weeks. Hopefully they will at least take my blood to check things out.
5. My first appointment is the day that I had my first miscarriage last year. It's going to be a rough day.
6. Little Women

pghctwife · December 2017

@lizziealyssa OMG LITTLE WOMEN!!!!!!! Yes!!!!! NO ONE (except my mom and I) ever seem to include it as a Christmas movie and It is tied with it’s a wonderful life for me!!! No one in my house will sit through it yet, so I wrap presents and sob and sob and sob. I used to watch with my mom every year but hard to get that kid free time now. There’s a meme going around with still images from Xmas movies and every time I see it I rail about how little women is missing!

pghctwife · December 2017

1) 6 weeks today. Not yet. I was 9 and 8 weeks for both missed mc. First baby measured 7 and second was 6.1 (but was 4 days behind at previous u/s).

2) mehhh crummy. Tired - some days worse than others (today will be bad thanks to my toddler last night). Gaggy and nausea - sock if I’m hungry and sick if I eat. Some vague aversions. Bloated.

3) I’m mostly doing pretty well. Much much better than my second loss, when I was a total ball of anxiety the whole time. I’m choosing to put the pregnancy out of my head. I don’t have a ticker on my local board (and can’t see my ticker here), I didn’t write my weeks on the wall calendar... so I’m not staring at the pg all the time. I am thinking of the pregnancy as an if and not a when. When I think about my us I get a huge wave of anxiety bc of ptsd from bad ones, but I’m trying to just not go there.
And imfocusing big time on Xmas bc with 3 small kids I have no choice. Thankful this is such a busy month so it is hard to stew.

4) appt is wed 12/27 and u/s is 12/28. I should see if my mw would rather I move my appt to after. I’ll be 8w then, further along than losses.

5) lots of financial stress. Our cars are both falling apart and we need some $ and necessary not fun home repairs. Plus losses and recent death of my sil and major bad fallout from that.... life is stressful lately and feels like we are due some good.

6) little women

and it’s a wonderful life.

also love: Santa Claus is coming to town, grinch (cartoon), Charlie Brown, Rudolph, Emmett otters jug and Christmas, and my nostalgia fav I cry through - Sesame Street Christmas, from like 1980 or so. I enjoy stuff like national lampoon and Christmas story but the above are my musts.

lunamoon24 · December 2017

Hi Ladies,

I am new to the boards, so please correct me if anything in this post should have been done differently, or if there is a more appropriate place for my post. I'm really in need of support.

1.) I am currently 4w5d pregnant after an early loss around 6 weeks back in June.

2) . My symptoms so far have been cramping (which were more twingy early on, and now more like period cramps), VERY emotional, mildly sore bbs, increased urge to urinate, tired, some distaste of foods but no nausea.

3) feeling terrible

4) first ultrasound Jan 4th

5) (my big rant) My first pregnancy was unexpected, as we were not TTC. I got a BFP a week after missing my period and I went through a whirlwind of emotions - shocked, afraid, excited, more excited, then eventually devastated. I was on a family vacation the week I found out and had been drinking, sitting in the hot tub, no prenatals, etc. I immediately made a doc appt, blood test to conform, and they reassured me that it was unlikely I did any real harm. A couple of days later I started spotting while I was at work and immediately started sobbing and panicking. I knew right away that it was over, even though my husband and doc were remaining optimistic. I just knew...I not "feel" pregnant anymore. I went in that day for another blood test, but started bleeding the next day before I even got the results. I was so so sad...a feeling of loss and grief that I had never known before.

Fast forward to now. This was our first month intentionally ttc. I have been taking prenatals for a couple of months, cut out all alcohol, have been eating well, tracking my cycle, etc. Only few days after I ovulated I had a feeling we were successful. I was very weepy and just "felt" pregnant. I early tested on 9 dpo and got a bfp (with first response). At 11 dpo I got a bfp with an amazon strip test. Doctor confirmed on 12 dpo, and tested my progesterone levels, which I have not heard back about (I should hear today). I have a history of pmdd and generalized anxiety/depression, have longer cycles (about 33 days), and had the early loss, all of which the doc said "may" point to an endocrine issue...but overall she seemed positive. We talked about scheduling a thyroid panel around the time of our first ultrasound.

I am now 14 dpo. Since my doc visit two days ago, I have felt extremely anxious that something will go wrong. Yesterday I convinced myself that something WAS wrong with my body and that I WILL have a repeat miscarriage. I had a crying breakdown last night with my husband, who was trying his best to be supportive but was also trying to be positive...which I took the wrong way in the moment as him not validating my feelings. I told him that he just didn't understand. Today am having the same negative feelings/thoughts...along with what seems like diminishing symptoms. I did strip test today and it looks a little lighter than my test yesterday (I think, or maybe I'm just driving myself crazy). I have also been using progest cream since ovulation and know that can also be creating "symptoms".

I know this must seem like a long rant...but the main thing that I am trying to communicate is that I am realizing that I am coping very poorly with the emotional scars from the last mc, the uncertainty of this pregnancy, and my overall outlook on my health and ability to maintain a pregnancy. This combined with the hormonal fluctuations are making it very difficult for me to keep a positive perspective and and remain relaxed. I know that stress is bad for me...but am having a hard time using logic to calm my nerves.

Everything could be fine, or I could experience another loss. This is incredibly hard and the thought of having to wait weeks, months, or an entire pregnancy to feel "okay" and safe feels overwhelming.

I am really just wanting to vent, and to connect to others out there who can relate to me during this time. If anyone has a similar story, or has dealt with possible endocrine issues with a success story, I would be so grateful to hear from you. Am I having a normal/typical reaction after a loss? How did you/do you deal with your fear? What are your personal coping strategies?

Oh, and my favorite movie is probably About Time

Thanks for reading. ~Jess

kindbytealikat · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

5 weeks today(Thursday). We don’t know the exact time of my loss but mid 5 weeks was when I first started bleeding

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

As @SmashJam said I’m nauseated if I’m hungry but eating makes me feel sick. I tried goldfish last night and those went well. Same with my first I lived off goldfish and 7up until I was close to 20 weeks

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

This week is going to be an anxious one for me

4. When is your next appointment?

Nothing until 1/4

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I love Christmas movies. My must watch’s are Christmas Story and Grinch(original Dr. Suess version) which I watch while putting up decor every year. The others I watch every season Charlie Brown(my all time favorite), Home Alone 1&2, Polar Express, Christmas Vacation, Elf, Scrooged

daniellem-22 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? I'm 7 weeks tomorrow. Made it pass my two earlier losses that I had this year which makes me feel optimistic. Also had an ultrasound today and was able to see my little bean and the fluttering of it's heart. Made me feel a million times better.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I'm starting to feel more nauseous if I don't eat right away, and I am sooo bloated due to the progesterone (I look 12 weeks pregnant).

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I think I'm always going to have anxiety since I have had losses. I think it will lessen somewhat once I'm out of the first trimester.

4. When is your next appointment? December 27 where I'll be just shy of 9 weeks.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I feel sad that I don't feel comfortable or excited to announce this pregnancy because I feel like something bad will happen. Having losses has completely robbed me of feeling like nothing bad can happen.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I honestly don't watch a lot of holiday movies. I didn't grow up doing that, but I want to start because I have a 20 month old son who would probably enjoy it!

daniellem-22 · December 2017

@lunamoon24 I'm so sorry you are experiencing so much anxiety. I understand that feeling that something bad might happen any moment, but there is really nothing you can do other than try not to stress. That's the only thing that YOU can control. Your previous miscarriage was NOT your fault, and I know it's hard to believe that (I felt that way for the longest time). You need to find positive activities that will completely take your mind off of even being pregnant so that you're not thinking about it 24/7. Do you enjoy reading or have any favorite tv shows?

mamaek · December 2017

daniellem-22 said:

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? I'm 7 weeks tomorrow. Made it pass my two earlier losses that I had this year which makes me feel optimistic. Also had an ultrasound today and was able to see my little bean and the fluttering of it's heart. Made me feel a million times better.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I'm starting to feel more nauseous if I don't eat right away, and I am sooo bloated due to the progesterone (I look 12 weeks pregnant).
3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
I think I'm always going to have anxiety since I have had losses. I think it will lessen somewhat once I'm out of the first trimester.

4. When is your next appointment? December 27 where I'll be just shy of 9 weeks.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
I feel sad that I don't feel comfortable or excited to announce this pregnancy because I feel like something bad will happen. Having losses has completely robbed me of feeling like nothing bad can happen.
6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I honestly don't watch a lot of holiday movies. I didn't grow up doing that, but I want to start because I have a 20 month old son who would probably enjoy it!

So sorry for your losses. I feel exactly the same you describe in #5.
Hug

mamaek · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

Don’t know exactly. 5-6 weeks? Milestone is baby implanted correctly.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Bloat, frequent urination, loss of appetite/ just nothing sounds good and I’m full super quick. Dizziness, always.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Very much anxious don’t know if it’ll go away ever. Yesterday was the one year anniversary since my traumatic ectopic loss with emergency surgery-shock-almost die- remove tube experience. I cried throughout the day randomly hormones didn’t help I’m sure. Being alone w no fam and friends I think makes it harder. I’m also the same amount or about the same amount of weeks when this all happened.

4. When is your next appointment?

Saturday! Hoping to finally find out how many weeks exactly I am. And hopefully listen to a heartbeat.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

What @daniellem-22 said, very much resonates w/ me.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short:
Dont have one. Not big on holiday movies (maybe UO?)

SmashJam · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 8 weeks. Tomorrow is the day I was induced, Saturday is the day I gave birth, a week from today is the day my daughter passed.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) BLAH. @kindbytealikat I had to double check when you tagged if I had already posted here for today, haha. But basically I don't feel great. Not being able to stomach coffee has given me caffeine headaches in the middle of the day so thats a fun add on.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I can go back and forth. Today, I am ok.

4. When is your next appointment? Dec 28. UGH.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) : I have been thinking about this today because a friend who lost her grandson and I just really loved this book last year when we were going through our respective grief and wondered if anyone else had read it: Option B, by Sheryl Sandberg? It was so incredibly helpful and just focused on how she got on with living her "Option B" after her husband unexpectedly died.

One thing great thing it mentions that I took away is to focus on how you are feeling TODAY or when you ask people how they are after a tragedy, ask them how they are TODAY. It makes it feel less overwhelming than thinking about how you are going to be later in the week or in the year or how you were two days ago.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: Christmas Vacation!!!

hezzer78 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 5w4d according to LMP

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Doing okay still. Just pretty tired a lot. I went to dance class last night for about 3 hours, and did some VERY light crossfit today, and feel good to be moving, but completely wiped. I think my boobs are starting to get sore, and I have some mild cramps/twinges. No real food issues yet - although if I go too long without eating I don't feel very well - not really nauseous per se, just yuck.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I feel slightly better getting our betas back. First was 89 and second was 220 - so that's a good sign. I'm still super nervous everytime I go to the bathroom - I'm paranoid I'll see blood.

4. When is your next appointment? I have my first OB appt on 12/20.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I don't have anything yet. I wish my symptoms would ramp up so I would feel more pregnant, but I may regret saying that. Last two BFPs, I had super sore boobs and not much else. This time around I don't have that yet so it's worrying me..

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: Love Actually!! I'm not a cryer, but that movie makes me a little weepy eyed every time.
Image result for love actually gif

ETA: Words

strawberryanne · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 4 weeks according to LMP. I had a very early loss in August - I feel like every time I go to the restroom and the wipe is clean I am winning.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) A little nauseous and/or light headed if I don't eat frequently enough, but mostly just uterine cramps.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) It's high. I am wondering if I will feel this way the whole pregnancy. Even though my loss was early last time I pretty much had anxiety with my first until he was about 1.5

4. When is your next appointment? I have a phone appointment next Tuesday to set up my "real" appointment at 8 weeks.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I am SO ready to start my new job tomorrow. I don't hate my current company, but there's a lot of things that are just not well done and come off in a not so great way. I feel like where I work now the clay is set, whereas my new company is handing me a lump of fresh clay to help mold.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I love The Holiday. I will stop and watch it any time it is on. My husband and I also watch any Hallmark holiday movie - it's something my dad and I did together before he passed, so it's nice to carry on the tradition with my husband.

jlo629 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 6 weeks according to period, 5w1d according to ovulation tests

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Oddly not too bad anymore and that has me a little freaked

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I am always worrying and afraid I will lose this one too

4. When is your next appointment? Dec 26th for an early viability US

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I really want to be excited for this pregnancy but I just have a fear that we will go in on the 26th and see an empty sac again like we did the last time. I just want to see a beat of a tiny heart!

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: Miracle on 34th Street

coffeecocktailsandcake · December 2017

@lunamoon24 I'm sorry you're so emotional right now, I can understand. I handled my miscarriage really poorly, I didn't know I was pregnant and had continued living my life, having my wine, pushing myself through stress. When it happened I even blamed breastfeeding my son and weaned him at a year even though I intended on nursing through my next pregnancy. I have to remind myself that I'm only human, and hormonal on top of that, and to allow myself to feel my feelings but not let them take over my life.

It's not in format but I'm on mobile which is a pita. I'm six weeks six days. I have my first us today and I'm really nervous. I don't know what will become of me if there's no heartbeat. I'm emotionally drained facing a pregnancy with a toddler. I don't have any milestones coming up. My only symptoms are mild nausea and emotional rollercoasters. Nothing sounds good to eat so I force myself to eat. I'm hungry though, but not eating much. My favorite holiday movie is Home Alone! I watch it every year! In the evenings I've been playing Christmas music the last hour of my sons wake time to help the time pass, he's been throwing major tantrums and has made evenings ddrreeaaddffuull....

shri929 · December 2017

Hi ladies! Thanks for starting this thread as my PGAL brain has been in full swing these past few days...

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? approaching 5 weeks, yawn

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) So I had alllll the symptoms Friday all at once, completely nauseated, but they kind of just tampered off which really scares me even though I am still so early, might just be too early for the symptoms!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Because of my lack of symptoms I just went out and bought about my 10th test. Lines still there

4. When is your next appointment? First appointment is next week

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: A Christmas Story!

jchpg · December 2017

Hi ladies- I'm getting in on this a bit late- it's been a busy week....

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 6wk 6d today, no milestones yet- I have my first US Monday- and if we see a heartbeat I will have made it past my last loss. I'm terrified.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) I'm doing ok- nothing too bad, I'm tired all the time, my breast are super sore and I've had some nausea- I almost wish it was worse so I'd feel like this was more real.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) My anxiety is through the roof. I'm just trying to make it until Monday.

4. When is your next appointment? Monday!

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) it's been a busy week at work. It's always hard around the holidays- a last minute rush to get things done. I think my hormones kicked in and I was super moody today- it felt like it was me against the world. One more week and then time off- I can't wait!!

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: The Nightmare before Christmas!

@lizziealyssa I had my MC while living abroad too- it wasn't easy. I'm hoping I don't have to go through the experience again....

@daniellem-22 - it mast be such a relief to have made it further in this pg then your losses and to see your little one AND heartbeat- congrats!

@mamaek good luck with your appointment!

@smashjam I'm sorry about your loss anaversary. I hope you can stay distracted this next week. Take good care of yourself.

@hezzer77 and @strawberryanne I feel the same way each time I go to the bathroom- it causes to much anxiety

@Shri929 it's so great to see you here!

wifehacks · December 2017

Hey ladies! Last minute entry here. Happy Friday!!

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? I just got my first BFP this morning and am only est. 4 weeks along so should I even be here?? haha

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) nada. That said I also have a massively bad head and chest cold so I don't if I would be able to differentiate any symptoms I could be having from just generally feeling like shit

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) Pretty bad. It's so, so early and I know the chances of CP or MC are higher the earlier you are. I can't imagine how I will stay sane all the way through to 12 weeks

4. When is your next appointment? I'm going in for a beta on Monday. Nothing else scheduled yet. But I did just cancel an appt. with a fertility clinic so that felt good!

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I really wanted to CELEBRATE when I saw that BFP but all I could think about was how my last pregnancy turned out (CP at 6 weeks) and I couldn't enjoy the moment. I haven't even told my husband yet

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: A Christmas Story . On repeat. Every year. I know pretty mcuch every word by heart

thinking of you @lizziealyssa! I can't imagine dealing with an MC w/o friends & fam nearby. You are so strong!

@lunamoon24 the anxiety is normal, so I hope you're not too hard on yourself about the way you're feeling. As far as coping goes I find talking about my anxieties really helps me from dwelling on them as much in my head. So coming here and getting it off your chest - you off to a good start!

@daniellem-22 re: your rant I feel the same. I feel like we're missing out on all the joy and anticipation of the first trimester.

@hezzer78 I cry at Love Actually EVERY time

@jlo629 fingers crossed for tiny heart beats!!

@shri929 ten tests! That's going to be me. I only got my first BFP this morning and I have already done three!

bridgetkoch · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 6+1 today. first time hitting six weeks without complications! But the real milestone will be seeing a baby in the sac at next week's ultrasound.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Not bad, really. Boobs hurt terribly and I'm on progesterone so bloating basically makes me think normal pants are the devil's invention. I've had some mild nausea but nothing too awful. I'm about to fall asleep at my desk as I type this, and that's been the hardest physical symptom thus far.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) In some ways, I'm doing a lot better. The longer this goes on, the easier it seems to get. I've started to get excited but then I'll tell myself to rein it back in, just in case. If all goes well at the ultrasound next week I *Hope* I'll be able to relax a bit.

4. When is your next appointment? Friday!

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) this is the first pregnancy where I've had really any symptoms and my husband is just not getting the fact that what I really need right now is a freaking nap. Not to go to the gym or fold laundry or watch that documentary he picked out together. I love you, but my number one priority right now is NAPS. Anybody else with me?

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I grew up with four brothers and it's a tradition to watch the Godfather on Christmas Eve every year. My husband have done it every year we've been married, too, and I love it.

michamommie23 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? Just got a positive test 2 days ago.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms) Just feeling a little nausea, sensitivity to smells, and freq. urination at this point.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) I keep hoping that this isn't a chemical pregnancy. I wish I didn't test so early. I won't ever do that again.

4. When is your next appointment? Dec. 27th

5. Rants/raves/whatever

I'm really scared this could be nothing, I really hope that is will go fine. I know I'm going to be worried most of the pregnancy but right now I think I have more anxiety about not being pregnant than the anxiety that will come with giving birth next time... I went through such an awful tragedy before. R.I.P my baby angel girl.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: I guess I really like any rendition of the Christmas Carol.

kayldawn · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
I think I am 5 weeks today, but I have my dating ultrasound in a couple weeks to be sure! I have an 11 month old daughter and just got my period back one cycle ago, so my cycles could still be pretty irregular!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

I have been having really bad low back pain when I am active/moving around. A little bit of nausea in the morning but nothing crazy!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I am not sure to be honest. It is weird because I lost my first pregnancy at almost 14 weeks, but then went on to carry my daughter to full term in my second pregnancy. Even having had a full term pregnancy though, I still feel so anxious about losing this one. When I lost my first pregnancy they actually found out that I had an empty sac/missed miscarriage so the dating ultrasound SHOULD make me feel a little bit better. Seeing a little bean inside the sac would be really encouraging. Last pregnancy it took until my anatomy scan to let myself get attached to my pregnancy though. I am hoping everything is easier this time around. The anxiety/stress last time was bad at the beginning.

4. When is your next appointment?

I have my dating ultrasound Jan.2

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

I am sooooo excited for Christmas! I can’t believe it is only a week away!!!

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short:
Elf. I could watch that movie over and over!!!!

LCartee2016 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

No idea how far along I am really, but TB says I'm 7 weeks along.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Mostly I'm just exhausted. No MS, but I never experienced that with any of my other pregnancies either. My gag reflex is ramped to 10 though. And I can smell everything!

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I try not to think about it.

4. When is your next appointment?

Next Thursday (the 21st) will be my first u/s and meeting with my ob. I don't really look forward to u/s or dopplers anymore. Well, that's not true. I do, but they make me very very nervous.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

My MIL and my mom are the most annoying women in my life right now. They have no idea I'm pregnant so I'm trying to reign in my hormones.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short:
The Santa Clause!

tops-2 · December 2017

Hi everyone.. Cautiously starting to post on this board..

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
4 weeks today (monday). Nothing I'd really call a milestone, but my first HCG was significantly higher than last time, so that's a plus!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)
Just very tired and thirsty with a bit of nausea thrown in there for fun

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)
Kind of just feeling numb. Concerned but excited at the same time. Super happy and excited, then feeling worried for getting excited. I'm sure you all understand. Our loss was out first pregnancy after trying for a long time. We're not sure exactly when we lost it but at our 7&8 week ultrasounds there was no heartbeat. Ended up having a d&c a week or so later as I had zero bleeding.

4. When is your next appointment?
I have another HCG blood test appt on Wednesday to check that numbers are doubling, then if all is good they'll book me in for an US in around 2-3 weeks.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)
Nothing really to say. Just desperately hoping this one sticks and we don't have to endure another mc.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short:

Can't go past Love Actually

NAP1029 · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?
6 weeks 2 days. No milestones but had ultrasound last week and the yolk sac looked nice.

NAP1029 · December 2017

For Pete’s sake! I’m not nutty, it just didn’t save. I give up

junabugtunabug · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? Every app tells be something different. But I'll guess 4w5d. That's farther than i made it last cycle by 3 days!

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? tired. Occasionally nauseous, very irritable. Apparently when I'm pregnant I get very sensitive to touch and everything tickles in the most uncomfortable way. I just don't want to be touched.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)... I'm starting to relax, but then I realize that just because I've known for so long, doesn't make me any farther along. I was 7dpo when I found out. I had a very strong positive. (My o date could have been off by only 1 day. My SO insists twins, and I'm mot sure I want that)

4. When is your next appointment? January 10th. I had an appointmet for the third with the doctor at a new practice for my miscarriage follow up (which happened in November, I can't believe they made it so far out!) But they said I needed to reschedule because you don't see the doctor for prenatal visits, just the NP.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) other than not wanting to be touched.... Oh, found a great tea that helps with nausea! It's by Argo, called something like green ginger twist. It has real pieces of ginger in it and it keeps things settled, for now.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: Roudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer with Burl Ives!

mrslittlemac · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

Still not 100% sure. A little over 7 weeks I think. No milestones yet.

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Generally nauseated and gross. Hot flashes started tonight (2 weeks later than in my previous pregnancy). It's hard not to compare, though logically I know each one is different.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Feeling very uneasy. Having a hard time "connecting" with this pregnancy so far, and have this nagging gut feeling that something is wrong.

4. When is your next appointment?

Still haven't made it. Will go to a free clinic for the dating U/S after Christmas, and will see if my OB will work with me on payments if that goes well. I still owe her a lot from the last pregnancy.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here)

Just feeling in limbo. At this point last pregnancy, my daughter had no qualms about making her presence known. I was throwing up every 8 hours on the dot, and had alllll the symptoms. This time I am still nauseated, but don't throw up, and I have back pain and now hot flashes. I don't really "feel" pregnant. Just unwell.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short

I don't really have one. Most holiday movies have been annoying me lately--so I'll stick with the Grinch, since I'm feeling like one!

NatalieGentry · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones? 7 weeks 3 days today. I have had 2 ultrasounds where we could see heartbeat. With 2 previous losses we could see on 1st ultrasound but would go in a week later and there would be nothing, so I guess that counts?

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)? Absolutely horrible. Nausea everyday all day. Hard to even get out of bed sometimes. Some smells bother me, boobs are starting to really hurt now. All positives in my opinion but just wish nausea would go away so I could clean house or something. Oh and I am grumpy...

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise) ? Not so hot. Sometimes its not good to be an OB nurse, I feel like I know too much... HR at 6w1day was 110 (which is perfectly normal), but had ultrasound on 7w1day and baby had grown (which is huge positive cuz that hasn't happened before) and was measuring right on target but HR was only 113. I work with the doctors I am seeing and one is concerned but the other one is not at all and feels its normal. So of course been doing tons of research which gives me hope and devastates me at the same time. I'm trying to be positive.

4. When is your next appointment? I have another ultrasound on Dec. 28th to make sure HR has gone up and baby continues to grow.

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) I ADORE my husband usually, but man is he driving me nuts lately. He is trying to be supportive but failing miserably. He isn't helping around the house at all, and since you can't "see" my hormones or symptoms its hard for him to be sympathetic. He actually compared me to how his ex-wife handled her pregnancy to which I just said, "well she smoked weed all the time so of course she wasn't nauseous!!!" I told him every woman and pregnancy is different and I have never had these severe of symptoms before and I need a little love and understanding. He did apologize and has been better, but I am still so irritated.

6. GTKY: Love Actually is my favorite, but I love all the kids movies from the 60's.. Frosty the snowman cartoon, the Grinch, Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer..... Never been a fan of the Christmas Story, I have tried to watch many times and I just don't like it.

rkcf · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

I should be around 5 weeks (going in for first appointment next week)

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

I had some cramping a couple of weeks ago, which got me thinking I might be pregnant again (I just had my missed miscarriage in November 2018). Then I started feeling lightheaded but was not sure if that was psychological because I got my BFP. Yesterday was the first day I let myself really believe I was pregnant because I had several round of lightheadedness that were definitely not made up, and I was slightly nauseous.

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

I'm a little anxious. haven't had my doctor's appointment yet. I just had my loss so scared that it is too soon.

4. When is your next appointment? December 29th

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) mostly just work stress. also, I feel in limbo. not knowing how things are going down there.

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short: one doesn't pop out off the top of my head. we saw the holiday twice this year and I enjoyed it both times.so you can put that one on the list.

miracle_rainbow · December 2017

1. How far along are you? Any milestones?

5 weeks 6 days. Ultrasound today, not ectopic which I had a risk for

2. How are you feeling (pregnancy symptoms)

Sore boobs, gassy, hungry and tired

3. How are you feeling (anxiety wise)

Scared of losing baby or having blighted ovum. Haven't seen fetal pole yet and won't see baby again for another 4-6 weeks

4. When is your next appointment?

Jan 5 pretty much just paper work

5. Rants/raves/whatever (Dear diary posts and venting are welcome and encouraged here) none

6. GTKY: Favorite holiday movie/short
The Grinch and The Polar express

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