Why my SO is...12/15

mauera07 · December 2017

Why my SO is thoughtful (or thoughtless)! What has your SO been doing recently that's making your last few weeks easier (or more difficult!). It's a choose your own adventure kind of day. If your SO is being awesome, tell us! If you want to punch them, let it out!

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burnsmommy27 · December 2017

DH was both last night. I told him that I was going to need his help to finish wrapping the Christmas presents. He's says ok then says "BUT I don't care if you don't like the way they look, I'm not gonna do them all fancy with ribbons, ect" God why can't you just say sure I'll help you.

[Deleted User] · December 2017

He's pretty much both at this point. He offers to cook, pick things up for me, give me back rubs, etc. but the one thing he WON'T do is offer to do the dishes, which seems to be the biggest back irritator for me. I've let them sit on the counter for a day and he still won't touch them.

jcbh2018 · December 2017

A lot I could say... I’ve asked him to clean the toilets. Go through HIS huge stack of mail. Rub my foot cause it was swollen. Noda, zilch. I don’t like asking more than once. I really shouldn’t have to. Last night I asked him to take our dog out (for bed time) and he rolled his eyes at me and said “fine”. THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL. So, lately I haven’t been feeling all that pretty. I enjoy being pregnant, don’t get me wrong, but, I notice the weight I’ve gained and being such a skinny girl all my life, it can kinda be hard to see the double chin in the mirror. The other night he got off work and jumped in the shower, I took that opportunity and got undressed and I laid on the bed in a sexy pose... he got out, came in the room and told me he wasn’t in the mood. It kinda made me tear up. I tried to not let it get to me. I’m sure if I wasn’t as hormonal as I am. I wouldn’t even care. But it definitely made me butt hurt.

cyanope · December 2017

Thoughtful: He's VERY helpful around the house and with DD. He follows along with my crazy whims (like gutting and cleaning our house when it didn't even really need it) and will go out and get me anything I ask for. He's also very protective of me when I'm pregnant and it's pretty cute because he's not usually a coddler!

Thoughtless: I've been having a hard time the last few days both physically and emotionally. I asked him to NOT work OT last night because I needed his help with our nighttime routine. Then, when the time came, he called me and asked, "so...I'm really wanting to work some OT tonight. Do you think you'll be okay on your own?" I said yes, when I just REALLY wanted him home last night. I WAS totally fine, and DD was a dream, but I'm just really weepy for some reason and want him close by. I just wish he would be his usual perceptive self and see that I need him. But at the same time...he's working all of this OT because I'm planning on taking off the rest of the school year and he wants to save up. So, I'm torn!

jasonsgirl92 · December 2017

Thoughtful: DH has been overworked these past few weeks and he's been doing his best to keep up with my ridiculous attention demands. I say ridiculous partly because the more he's gone and working the more I demand attention when he comes home. Wednesday we only saw each other for like 20 minutes total before bedtime.
He's a really great husband, highly recommend

JuliaGoolia719 · December 2017

jcbh2018 I'm with you on the "not feeling pretty" part, DH and I had a loooonnnggg talk the other day about this issue (which for us goes beyond pregnancy, 3 yrs of infertility and treatments kind of took its toll on our sex life in general, and DH actually went and made a dr appointment to get his hormone levels checked b/c he feels like something is off in general), all triggered b/c I felt not pretty and was just laying in bed crying one night. Thankfully, he is taking some initiative to get things looked at on his end so I don't feel like I'm harping on him. I also feel like I should add that its literally that one issue that isn't clicking, he's super affectionate and tells me how beautiful I am on the regular, how much he loves me etc, he's super engaged in our relationship. I don't want it to sound like he's just this cold remote person who isn't nice to me lol.
DH has been a rockstar around the house, normally he's the guy that needs to be prompted and reminded about things, multiple times and I feel like I'm nagging. Lately I just text him a list and he may not get to alllll of the things right away but he knocks out several of them right away. Poor guy, the list never quite goes away though lol. He's just been super attentive (more than normal) and protective which is adorable. I was still going to the gym and working with our trainer until 35 weeks, but he'd see me at home lifting something and come take it from me etc. During this time he's also taken a voice writing class and gotten a new job as a court reporter that will let him work normal M-F hours and no more nights/weekends. He's a creature of habit (and been with the same company since college, 15 yrs) so I know it took a lot for him to finally make this change and to work it out that he'll start the new job mid Jan so he'll be able to be home for a few weeks with me and the terrorist before he has to go back to work.

TInman87 · December 2017

DH is straddling the thoughtful/thoughtless fence on the daily. Yesterday, he started dinner so I wouldn't have to, and asked if I minded a night to myself tonight so he could watch star wars with a buddy. (We do everything together so that's rare, and actually needed right now). But basically this whole last month has been a pit. He complains about my lack of attention to the house...then instead of knocking something that NEEDS to be done off my to do list...he reorganized MY kitchen. It didn't need it, he just didn't like where things were currently, so now my entire kitchen is different than it's been the entire 3 years we've lived there and I can't find ANYTHING!!

mauera07 · December 2017

I actually have zero complaints about DH right now. He's been doing everything around the house and taken over night shift with DS. Today I texted him at work to tell him that DS is sick and I was planning on taking him to the doctor. He volunteered to leave work early to take him for me. So not only did I not have to take my sick kid to a doctor's office full of germy kids but I also get to spend extra time with him today.

jakobaby · December 2017

I’m going with thoughtless today. DH has a ton of vacation to use because he’s a workaholic. He took today off with the intention to go Christmas shopping. The only person he needs to buy for is me because everyone else is done.
He wakes up this morning and automatically logs in to work. Not surprised. He did log off for a bit to take DS to a dr appt, dropped him off at daycare and then came home and started working again-when he’s supposed to be off today. Finally, he tells me he’s going shopping. He gets to the mall and calls to tell me that he’s coming home, that he’s not shopping today and that he’s having a panic attack because he can’t access his work email on his phone and needs to fix the app. Apparently he needs to feel connected constantly. So-I hid his laptop because if he’s really about to have a panic attack, the last thing he needs is to work some more. Sure enough he came looking for his laptop immediately like an alcoholic looking for a drink.
Oh and then he wants me to coddle him because he is so stressed. It is so difficult to support a behavior I don’t agree with.
He needs to have a better work/life balance and we talk about it all the time. I can’t support it because he creates his own chaos. Even his boss says he needs to chill out.
I’m also pissed because it’s the same song and dance and yet again when he’s supposed to be doing something thoughtful for me, work still comes first.

TInman87 · December 2017

Well DH redeemed himself for a moment today. On his way to the movie with his friend he called to make sure I was feeling okay, told me exactly how long the movie will be, and that he will have his phone on silent but out incase I need him. Most thoughtful thing he has done in 8 months!

burnsmommy27 · December 2017

DH is back to thoughtful... brought me home a medicine ball from Starbucks.

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