Infertility

November FET

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Re: November FET

  • @2MomsHoping I’m thinking of you today. GL with your beta!
    History and blog link in spoiler
    2016 - dx with super low ovarian reserve; failed cycle with clomid, failed IUI, 
    2017 - egg retrieval #1 - 3 eggs, 0 embryos appropriate for transfer; ER #2 2 eggs, 0 embryos on day 3; ER #3 1 egg 0 embryos
    moved to donor egg in summer 2017; 35 eggs retrieved; 19 fertilized; 9 total embryos
    Fresh transfer Dec 2017= BFP!  baby boy born 8/22/18

    May 2019 - surprise natural pregnancy ended in MC
    Nov 2019 FET; MC at 9 weeks
    May 2020 FET; BFN
    July 2020 FET; CP treated with methotrexate
    Oct 2020 BFP! 

    Take a look at my blog


  • @natehk congrats!! And GL today at your second beta!
    @2MomsHoping FX for you!! FWIW my afternoon tests were always darker than the morning tests. 

    Hows everyone else doing??? 
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  • @2MomsHoping congratulations! Hoping for strong betas!


  • @tinjp78 - hoping that this new clinic brings you success!

    @2MomsHoping - ugh, mixed results are so stressful! Really keeping FX for your beta - I want this one to be the one for you!! 

  • @2momshoping congrats on your 1st beta! So thrilled for you and hoping for the best for Tuesday. 

    beta #2 was only 83.  We are devastated as that is only a 50% rise.  
    ***************

    We go back on Tuesday also.  Nurse says stay on meds.  Praying and hoping that things will get on track.  Pray for us also.  @funkykey. I know exactly what you mean.  My family does a huge Xmas celebration every year, and I so wanted this to be the year where I was pregnant.  Trying to stay positive. 
  • @natehk - ah! Just realizing that I missed you earlier!

    I'm so sorry, ugh. Sh*t. 

    Keeping fingers crossed for you that this pulls through.
  • @natehk. Oh dear, I will keep you and your bub in T&P... ❤❤❤

    @funkykey. Omg I would be coming undone, too.  It's bad enough there's a girl on my insta who likes to AW her dog with our top girl name, different middle name.  Like really?  My top girl name is a dog's name?  I almost want to unfollow bc it makes me feel kind of shitty every time I see her loving on her dog, like when we get our pride and joy baby girl - God willing - will I still have to keep seeing this girl's stupid dog with the same name???  Okay, not the same thing like, at all. I realise.  But I know where you're coming from.  At the same time, my mom and her bff both named me and the BFFs second daughter the same (very popular 80s) first name, so hopefully when the time comes, you won't even give it a second thought! (((Hugs)))
  • @natehk so sorry to hear this. Hoping things start looking up
  • @natehk I’m sorry beta number#2 didn’t double I saw your updated and my heart just dropped so it took me so long to come back to post.   Your beta is still rising and they have you on meds so it sounds like there is still a chance for a happy ending, I’m wishing you the best.  We have such similar first betas that I am praying for us both of us get some good news on Tuesday. 

    @BusinessWife I hope your labs tomorrow are all clear so you can move on to your transfer in December  I’m just so happy that you are able to try again in December!

    @coco305 I can’t agree more that grief has no timeline! I know it comes out of nowhere to smack me in the face when I’m least expecting it…lol

    @funkeykey I so can relate to the triggering.  Last year what really got me was the Christmas Cards.  I LOVE sending out Christmas cards and I love receiving them and hanging them up on the walls.  But last year all those people I love.  All those friends and family with smiling babies and kids it was just too much.  I had a fit and while crying I carefully rearranged the overlap so I couldn’t see the babies anymore.  Though what I wanted to do was tear all those smug faces off my wall and rip them up.  Soooo Jealous! I hate being like that!  Then I feel awful because I feel like that sometimes. I have a big old stack of Christmas cards on my table I should address and send out but haven’t…last two weekends I said I was going to do it.  I haven't.

    Me:38 DW:33 
    TTC History in Spoiler ***Trigger Warning*** Losses/Child Mentioned 
    Dx: My wife has no sperm  :D and apparently my embryos aren't as good as they look
    2016

     * April IUI#1 - BFN
     * June IUI#2 - BFN
     * July IUI#3 - CP  :'(
     * Sept IVF#1 - 4 Retrieved & Mature, 4 Blasts.  Fresh Transfer 1  - CP  :'(
     * November FET #1 - Transferred 1 Blast - CP  :'(
    2017 Switched REs - Recurrent loss testing for me - all normal, remaining 2 frosties sent for PGS - both abnormal
     * April/May IVF#2:  9 retrieved, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 7 blasts!  Sent for testing - 2PGS Normals (0 remaining)
     * November IVF #3 12R, 8M, 6F, 4 blasts! - All 4 PGS normal!
     * November FET# 2 (Transfer a PGS normal from IVF#2) - BFP!!!
    2018 DD born 8/20/18
    2019 5PGS frosties ( 4 remaining)
      * September FET#3 (1PGS normal) - Beta#1: 139.7  Beta#2: 322.6

  • Bababatty said:
    @funkykeyand then someone makes a comment about how they're ready to start trying for their second baby, and you can barely hold it together. 
    *TW* 
    Everything you've said is so true, but this line resonated especially with me.  I felt like for the first two years we were trying, I was really good about maintaining friendships, but since this summer I've been avoiding people, including one friend I really like a lot who started trying at the same time as me and of course got KU right away.  I don't think I could handle it if she told me she was going for #2.  Obviously avoiding her isn't going to stop time, but it's like if I don't hear it, it isn't happening.  Another friend is KU and when we had our CP, I made DH plan a weekend trip just so I had a plausible excuse for not going to her baby shower in January.  I don't even feel ashamed.  
    *end TW*

    Exactly. 

    I'm trying to think how to express this: for me, the struggle of IF isn't each individual negative, it's all of them, together. I feel so often like DH and I are in a suspended state of being, or just frozen in time. Like we keep trying, trying, trying and working, working, working and nothing ever changes. This Christmas will be the same as the last one, and the same as the one before that, and the same as the one before that. I love my H and I love our life, but I've been ready for a change for years; I've been ready to start a family for years.

    And we're surrounded by people who don't have this problem. They're sending out cards with little babies, starting to get ready for their second children to arrive, complaining about how busy they are now that they're running around after their toddlers. And their kids all seem so funny and cute and playful. Even they stories they tell about the kids making big messes are cute. 

    I've been really good about maintaining friendships and I'm honestly happy for my friends, but it stings some days, you know? Like, when we get the announcements from couples who started trying a year after we did who are welcoming their healthy babies. One of the couples with the new daughter, we went out for drinks with them like a year and a half ago - and I remember being really careful about what I was eating/drinking because I was in the TWW, whereas they hadn't even started to think about having a baby - they were planning a trip somewhere tropical with Zika! 

    It's like: "wow, we really are suspended. We really are just treading water."
  • And everyone else too.  I’m thankful to have this place where people understand.  

    thanks for all the good wishes for tomorrow. 
    @2MomsHoping I’m hoping for all the best for you too - will be thinking of you!
  • tinjp78tinjp78 member
    edited December 2017
    @funkykey @Crystal321 @2MomsHoping @Bababatty My heart sank reading about the challenges and struggles you've faced and are facing. I wanted to hold your hands and give you tight hugs. Please know that I'm praying for you all and all our friends here to have renewed strength everyday.

    @Irisheyes81 I hope your Bump issues would be resolved soon, I want to see your updates regularly. I was kind of kidding about that changing of uterus shape thing, although I read that it does change sometimes if a MC happens. But, in my case, It wasn't so painful when my first dr was doing the u/s compared to my new dr now. So, as @2MomsHoping said, it depends on who is performing the check. I haven't done IUI before. Probably, I'm just tensed on the exam chair so the u/s with my new dr was painful. 
  • Sorry I have been MIA. I had a tough work week plus my mom was visiting for a few days. Then I came down with a stomach bug which was no fun.

    FX for tomorrow @2MomsHoping and @natehk. Really hoping for good news from you both!

    @funkykey sorry you are feeling stuck. I know it is so hard when it seems that everyone is passing you by and moving along with their lives while you’re stuck in the same spot. It sucks so much that we put so much into this and try so hard with no guarantee of success. I often think of how different our lives would have been if we were one of those couples that got KU after a couple months of trying. It’s sad to think of all IF has stolen from us. I can only hope that for each of us here there will be a day when it will all be worth it. 
  • My RE wants me to have a scan with him tomorrow, along with the beta.  I think it’s Way too early to actually see anything, but I’ve had an ectopic so im sure he’s being cautious...
  • @2MomsHoping - Keeping FX for you tomorrow!!

    @natehk - Keeping FX for you too! This board could use more good news. :) Hoping your scan and beta look good, and that you never have another ectopic again.

    @tinjp78 - Thank you for the kind words!

    @Bababatty - I forgot to mention, I would have seen the orchid as a sign too. Our FET was actually on the anniversary of our first date, so I really thought that was a good sign... But then I know that there will be another. That's the thing about IF - it makes you superstitious, and then you catch yourself and realize you're just searching desperately for something to make sense of during a dark time. It can really play tricks on your mind. 

    @IrishEyes81 - I love your posts so much. xx

    @Crystal321 - I think that too sometimes, that everyone is faced with monumental challenges, and that maybe this is mine, or this period is mine. DH and I had a challenge before IF, so this isn't our first... When we first realized that we were going to have trouble TTC, I was so angry, because we'd not yet finished dealing with something else (complete with lawyers and doctors and physiotherapists, and hundreds of hours of appointments and assessments). It felt so unfair, to have one following another. 

    When I'm feeling really sorry for myself, DH will tell me too: "Maybe these are our only challenges and we won't have to deal with anything in the future!" Sometimes I believe him, but sometimes I think: "I don't care, I want someone else to suffer." (He usually teases me when I say that, and tells me that it's too bad I wasn't born an evil queen.) I think when you're actively dealing with something acute, or going through something, it can be hard to get perspective, and I definitely have nights where I lose mine.

    But the reality of all this is that life isn't fair. I wish suffering were more even - I wish everyone faced monumental challenges equally - but they don't. Some people have sh*ttier lives than others. Some people face more monumental challenges than others.

    And, if I'm really honest, as much as IF sucks, and whatever other challenges I may have faced, I struggle less than other people. I've struggled more than a lot of my friends in some key ways (IF), but way, way less in other ways. In some ways, I'm even grateful to have experienced IF, because it's made me understand inequality more. Not that I ever didn't know inequality existed or that I've ever been an unaware person, but there's something about actively facing an unfair struggle for years on end with no resolution that can make you realize how hard life must be for some people.

    IRL, I have a pretty serious nerdy streak. I keep thinking about that Game of Thrones quote from last season: "There is no justice in the world, not unless we make it." I hate IF and it's a huge challenge and so unfair. And there are so many other hugely unfair challenges... Maybe I think about this more because I want to be a parent? Like, we think so much about what kind of world do we want for our children? how do we make it better? what can we do? Ugh.

    (Anyway, that's probably enough from me... So many thoughts about all of this. Also, I'm so sorry about your father - that's a really hard way to lose someone. :( I hope you aren't faced with any more challenges anytime soon too. ) 
  • ******TW loss mentioned ****

    Just want to give the board an update.  I wish I had good news but I don’t.  Beta yesterday was 97 which is barely a 15% rise.  Bloods and ultrasounds in the next few days to confirm if it’s a chemical/early m/c or an ectopic. Devastated and at a loss for what to do next.  This was our 4th FET, 3rd with a PGS tested embryo.  


  • @natehk so sorry to hear this. I was rooting so hard for you. It is devastating and I just hope you and your SO can support each other while you grieve. Hugs to you. 
  • @natehk. I am so so sorry...  :'(
  • @natehk I am so, so sorry. I know there’s nothing I can say to make this better, but know that I’ve been thinking about you a lot this week. Please let us know what your RE says. Lots of creepy internet hugs.
  • @natehk I am so very sorry. I know nothing we can say or do will make it better, but please know that we are thinking of you
  • @natehk I'm very sorry this is happening. I hope and pray that your mind and body would recover soon. (((Hugs)))
  • So sorry @natehk
    • Me: 36 DH: 33
    • TTC since June 2016
    • Me: PCOS DH: Morphology 1%
    • 3 TI with Famera and trigger shots-BFN
    • 3 IUI's with Famera and trigger shots- BFN
    • IVF August 2017 25 eggs retrieved, 19 mature, 13 fertilized (ICSI), 5 frozen, 3 PGS normal 
    • FET November 2017 Transferred one 6 day blast (a little GIRL) BFP EDD 8/4/18

  • @natehk I am so very sorry :( 
  • Hi guys,

    It's been a crazy day 


    *****TW************

    I started bleeding this afternoon out of nowhere. It was a big gush of blood. Immediately called my RE and they saw me straight away. I had clots in my cervix  but by then no more active bleeding - u/s showed us everything was fine. I'm super shaken up and got put on bedrest for a week. Now just have to watch for more bleeding. :( I spotted a little bit a little while ago. Just hoping it stops. I'm having some cramps, but nothing constant. Just pray everything stay healthy and that this is a huge scare. Any words of encouragement are welcomed. Plus I feel super guilty because I've been extra busy at work this week and on my feet a lot. Plus I'm dealing with an awful cold. Yesterday I felt physically drained.  I have to start listening to my body more & know when to stop. Sigh. 

  • @coco305. How scary!  Glad you are able to slow down and take it easy this week, but please don't beat yourself up!  I have heard that bleeding due to sch is quite common with ivf pregnancies, and usually resolves itself.  The bleeding is not your fault.  Please just enjoy tour time to relax and trust that baby is just fine! (((Big huge hugs)))  Do you think you could come up with a good calming / soothing mantra to repeat to yourself?
  • @coco305 whew! I'm glad that you got to see your RE quickly and that you and your lil pnut are doing ok. Take it easy and rest more. I'll be hoping that no more scary events like this would happen to you throughout this pregnancy. (((Hugs)))
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