Trying to Get Pregnant
jrm_14
member
This is a safe place for more detailed support in mental health, struggles, and successes. Whereas general stress and issues are often discussed in R/R of dailies, this place is for a more focused discussion of the impact of mental health. Members are encouraged to use thoughtfulness and depth to examine feelings, barriers, and useful supports.
Mental Health Check-In (First Half of December)
jrm_14
member
***This thread has a general trigger warning.***
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This post can be replied to at any time during the month. Not limited to those with a mental health diagnosis, but please be sensitive to others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!
Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort.
If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:
Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
How are you feeling?
Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
Feel free to share, vent, or support other members on this thread. Share a picture/gif that expresses how you feel or provides some comfort.
If you need help getting started, try filling out the form below:
Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
How are you feeling?
Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
Re: Mental Health Check-In (First Half of December)
How are ya’ll?
Mental Health Diagnosis (if you have been) or What brings you to this thread today?:
OCD, binge eating disorder, PTSD
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA):
Benched
How are you feeling?
I am all over the place. I am generally enjoying the holiday aspects of the season, but they are so bitter sweet. My brother committed suicide 3 days before Christmas last year, so while he technically was not here for last Christmas, last Christmas wasn't really Christmasy, so this is our first without him. And now that my 6 year old is about to get a "depression" diagnosis, it is really messing with me.
As to TTC aspects to my life, all things considered, I am handling them well. I am already 1 month done of my 6 months of the bench. I did feel a little crampy yesterday, and I was freaking out for a good chunk of the afternoon, since last time I was a little crampy, it turned into intense laborlike contractions and tmi lost large clots/tumors for days.....
Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.)
I take medicine for binge eating, which I think has been working great, or maybe it has been the chemo? I really need to start seeing a counselor, which I have been saying for months, but with both the kids now in therapy, it has been hard. Now that chemo is done, I plan to make time.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
The eating symptoms have been ramping up to the most they have been in a few years. I attribute it to being able to control intake/output, yet not being able to control TTGP & the autoimmune disease. A few weeks ago, I found myself making a list of things about which I want to make a list. That is a huge sign to me the shit storm of OCD is brewing somewhere close to the surface, about to break loose.
MDD has been the worst. I have been laying in bed as soon as dinner is over. Crying to work, crying at work, crying on my way home. I’ve been mean and bitter - especially towards MH.
My brain has been on hyper drive. I went back up a bit on my antidepressant as I had started having dark, scary thoughts again.
MH & I are still seeing a therapist together. I went for a solo session last week and it was not too helpful. We are a whole different couple since we started counseling together. I had a therapist that I found helpful & saw for many years off&on. Due to insurance & diatance, it really isn’t feasible to see her now. Andplusalso, I feel dysfunctional still utilizing her after so many years.
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW -- feeling like I'm headed to WTO
How are you feeling?: Like garbage :P It's the most stressful time of year at my job. I think I have to fire some of my employees this year (we have a small team and I am friends with at least one of them outside of work). This is the first holiday season without my Grandma. Everyone I know is pregnant... with twins. I just want it to be our time. If this IUI has failed, I guess we move on to the next. I have one more refill on my Letrozole then I think we have to go back to the RE to see what next steps are.
Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) In bi-weekly counseling, which helps a TON, but the day to day tends to be rough.
Married: May 2013
TTC #1 Since: June 2013
IUI 1-6: BFN
IUI 7: TWW
Married: May 2013
TTC #1 Since: June 2013
IUI 1-6: BFN
IUI 7: TWW
@holly321 It's great that you're making time to see a counselor. It sounds like this time of year will be really rough, so having that extra support is so important. *hugs* I also agree with @jrm_14 that it's awesome you're getting support for your kids as well.
@jrm_14 Major hugs to you, friend. I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Mental health needs just as much maintenance and care as physical health. We'd never consider ourselves dysfunctional for treating high blood pressure or getting an annual exam. If you want or need support from a therapist, that's you taking care of a key part of your health. And you are an awesome person and supportive friend who is well worth taking care of.
@luckypandas So glad that you're finding your counseling sessions helpful, but I totally understand how hard all those days in between can be. IUIs are so stressful, and the anticipation is a killer. Be kind to yourself.
@luckypandas, I am sorry about the loss of your grandma. It is tough losing family, but so hard to see how the holidays change. And I am sorry that you have to fire people. I have never had to, but DH does frequently, and I see how it affects him, so I know it is hard. And everyone I know is pregnant, and while I am happy for them, I don't want to be around them, which throws more guilt on the way I feel.
Status (WTO/TWW/Benched/TTA): TWW
How are you feeling? I’m having a bad anxiety weekend. My big issue is health anxiety. Specifically I have a fear of terminal cancer. I have some kind of weird sensation issue in the upper right part of my body (arm, back, breast) that comes and goes and jumps around. I’ve been to the doctor about it, she’s not concerned. But I’m terrified that it’s something awful and if I get pregnant I won’t be able to treat it. I know that sound ridiculous. Also, two people had pregnancy announcements on FB today and I straight up cried over it.
Where are you in your mental health journey? (in treatment, looking for support, on meds, in counseling, having a rough day, etc.) I take Zolof and see a counselor weekly. I’m just having a bad day I guess.