@CraftyG were those public schools? This may seem like a dumb question, but if those are public schools, what did the Jewish kids do? I would have felt super uncomfortable.
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
@CraftyG@emmasemm In the US there is a separation of church and state so there should be no praying (or other religious activities) in a public school since its run by the state
"It's time to try defying gravity."
Me: 38 DH: 38 Married 6/11/16 TTC Since 6/2016 12/2016 RE appt; 1/2017 SA & HSG results - all normal 3/2017 Dx Hyperprolactinemia; 5/2017 Prolactin levels normal; 8/2017 Low Ovarian Reserve 8/2017 TTA for personal reasons; 10/2017 NTNP; 12/2017 Re-start TTC 7/2018 Clomid+IUI 11/2018 Letrozole+TI 12/2018 Letrozole+IUI 2/2019 NTNP 5/2019 Stopping all TTC efforts; living Childfree
@emmasemm yeah it’s really odd when you actually think about it, I agree with the songs though they were just fun and I love the fact that all the different schools sang the same songs. Even now If someone starts singing cauliflowers fluffy everyone joins in haha
@jsnakehole yeah they were public schools. To be honest it’s just such an old tradition I suppose that no one questions it. Like 95% off my school were atheists, a few went to church and one family were jehovas witness and their parents didn’t want them in any religious activity which meant that they spent a lot of the day just sat outside the room by themselves.
I like the moment of silence. That could be used for so many things: Prayer, reflection, gathering your thoughts after a busy morning, meditation. Whatever you may need before starting the day.
I'm also pro mindfulness class in lieu of detention. I've seen a few videos of schools doing this and I think it's amazing.
@CraftyG@emmasemm In the US there is a separation of church and state so there should be no praying (or other religious activities) in a public school since its run by the state
That’s not exactly correct. If a student wants to pray, read the Bible or other religious text, or organize a religious event, they are allowed to do so. It just can’t be school sponsored.
Also, while many of the founding fathers did intend for there to be a separation of church and state, those words aren’t found in the US constitution.
The reason why this distinction is important, is that in the USA, the freedom of religious expression is typically seen as more important than the separation of church and state.
For example of how this could be different, Turkey was founded as a secular government, to the degree that women in the military were not allowed to wear hijabs and hijabs could not be worn on public university campuses (although this was recently changed). In the United States, no student would ever be prohibited from wearing a cross, hijab, yamaka, etc.
@CraftyG I don't know how I would have handled that. I was hyper aware of being the "other" when I was growing up (being the only Jew in your class will do that), so that would have made me supremely uncomfortable.
Me: 28 DH: 29 Married: 6/2016 TTC #1: 12/2016 Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Ohhhh mannnn! I missed another drive by! So glad no one got warned or banned today. @mrs_drc_rn +1 to gooey, soft cookies! DH likes his crunchy too. I usually make one batch of cookies for him and one for me. @eleven_ I absolutely adore Mandy Moore...she's so cute!
AFM: *possible TW* I don't understand why people keep reporting sexual assault/harassment several years after the fact. I mean, I get that they were scared to report it at the time, but I don't understand why they'd choose to report it 20 years later. There's no way to prove it, so why bring it up now? I hope you guys understand that I'm *not* saying that sexual assault is okay! There have just been so many allegations in the news lately, and a lot of them are really really old. Plus it's hard to imagine these seemingly great people (Nick Carter?) doing awful things to women. So maybe I just want to remain naive and believe the best in people...
AFM: *possible TW* I don't understand why people keep reporting sexual assault/harassment several years after the fact.
1. Shame. 2. Fearing they won’t be believed. 3. Having more courage to come forward after others do it first.
What I don’t understand is why that is so hard to understand. Sexual assault is extremely difficult to prove and prosecute. Many victims would rather try to move on than go through the trauma of a trial. Statue of limitations means they won’t be subjected to that. Makes perfect sense to me.
1. Shame. 2. Fearing they won’t be believed. 3. Having more courage to come forward after others do it first.
What I don’t understand is why that is so hard to understand. Sexual assault is extremely difficult to prove and prosecute. Many victims would rather try to move on than go through the trauma of a trial. Statue of limitations means they won’t be subjected to that. Makes perfect sense to me.
**Stuck in the box** I do totally get that. I'm sorry for not wording my comment well. *TW* I was in an abusive relationship for a very short period in my life and I never reported it for the reasons you mentioned, even though I could have gone through my military chain of command very easily. *end TW* I guess I just feel conflicted when things are reported so many years later, because I wonder how one is supposed to know whether the allegations are true or not. I guess one can assume when so many people come forward that it's true. I suppose my UO should have just been that I wish I could remain blissfully naive about the actors/prominent people and believe the best in everyone, but that's just not the case. It is good that people are coming forward about the assault running rampant throughout Hollywood (well, not just Hollywood, but everywhere) because it really shines a light on how much things need to change. But I just wish the world was a better place and these things didn't happen.
@offtoneverland and @lalala2004 I also think that they come forward years later because of strength in numbers. They feel as if their claims are more likely to be taken seriously if they are not accusing these men of "power" alone.
I won't go into too many personal details...but I completely understand how difficult it would've been to acknowledge and deal with what happened....Sometimes it's just easier to walk away and deal with the pain and emotions later. It's weird how much society can tell you that you deserved it, or you misconstrued what really happened...by the time you see the truth, it's too late and situations like what we're seeing occur.
@josie12367 Thank you for sharing. In typing all of this I realized I was being stupid about it. I had been thinking that there's no way to know if all the stories are true, so why bring it up years later? But then I realized that no person in their right mind would want to get attention by accusing someone of something like that. So, I'm sorry, and big thanks to my friends on TB for helping me think that through. I still am confused about the person who accused Nick Carter just to publicly forgive him. But I guess there's just no way to ever know. I just hope it's okay for me to keep listening to the Backstreet Boys because I don't think I could ever give them up!
I still am confused about the person who accused Nick Carter just to publicly forgive him. But I guess there's just no way to ever know. I just hope it's okay for me to keep listening to the Backstreet Boys because I don't think I could ever give them up!
Wasn't it widely reported that Nick Carter was abusive to Paris Hilton like a decade ago? Regardless, I agree with what @josie12367 and @lalala2004 said. I am glad the floodgates have opened and now women are feeling for the first time like "whoa, I can speak up and people will actually believe me and there may even be consequences for my abuser." As to your second point, I think it is possible to separate a person from their art. It's a little trickier (for me at least) when there is an ongoing financial component (because the idea of putting money in the pocket of an abuser is ick), but I don't see any harm in enjoying some previously purchased BSB while still thinking Nick Carter is awful.
*TTC History*
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
Re: UO Thursday 11/30
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
"It's time to try defying gravity."
Married 6/11/16
TTC Since 6/2016
12/2016 RE appt; 1/2017 SA & HSG results - all normal
3/2017 Dx Hyperprolactinemia; 5/2017 Prolactin levels normal; 8/2017 Low Ovarian Reserve
8/2017 TTA for personal reasons; 10/2017 NTNP; 12/2017 Re-start TTC
7/2018 Clomid+IUI
11/2018 Letrozole+TI
12/2018 Letrozole+IUI
2/2019 NTNP
5/2019 Stopping all TTC efforts; living Childfree
@jsnakehole yeah they were public schools. To be honest it’s just such an old tradition I suppose that no one questions it. Like 95% off my school were atheists, a few went to church and one family were jehovas witness and their parents didn’t want them in any religious activity which meant that they spent a lot of the day just sat outside the room by themselves.
I'm also pro mindfulness class in lieu of detention. I've seen a few videos of schools doing this and I think it's amazing.
Also, while many of the founding fathers did intend for there to be a separation of church and state, those words aren’t found in the US constitution.
The reason why this distinction is important, is that in the USA, the freedom of religious expression is typically seen as more important than the separation of church and state.
For example of how this could be different, Turkey was founded as a secular government, to the degree that women in the military were not allowed to wear hijabs and hijabs could not be worn on public university campuses (although this was recently changed). In the United States, no student would ever be prohibited from wearing a cross, hijab, yamaka, etc.
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
@mrs_drc_rn +1 to gooey, soft cookies! DH likes his crunchy too. I usually make one batch of cookies for him and one for me.
@eleven_ I absolutely adore Mandy Moore...she's so cute!
AFM: *possible TW* I don't understand why people keep reporting sexual assault/harassment several years after the fact. I mean, I get that they were scared to report it at the time, but I don't understand why they'd choose to report it 20 years later. There's no way to prove it, so why bring it up now? I hope you guys understand that I'm *not* saying that sexual assault is okay! There have just been so many allegations in the news lately, and a lot of them are really really old. Plus it's hard to imagine these seemingly great people (Nick Carter?) doing awful things to women. So maybe I just want to remain naive and believe the best in people...
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
2. Fearing they won’t be believed.
3. Having more courage to come forward after others do it first.
What I don’t understand is why that is so hard to understand. Sexual assault is extremely difficult to prove and prosecute. Many victims would rather try to move on than go through the trauma of a trial. Statue of limitations means they won’t be subjected to that. Makes perfect sense to me.
2. Fearing they won’t be believed.
3. Having more courage to come forward after others do it first.
What I don’t understand is why that is so hard to understand. Sexual assault is extremely difficult to prove and prosecute. Many victims would rather try to move on than go through the trauma of a trial. Statue of limitations means they won’t be subjected to that. Makes perfect sense to me.
**Stuck in the box**
I do totally get that. I'm sorry for not wording my comment well. *TW* I was in an abusive relationship for a very short period in my life and I never reported it for the reasons you mentioned, even though I could have gone through my military chain of command very easily. *end TW* I guess I just feel conflicted when things are reported so many years later, because I wonder how one is supposed to know whether the allegations are true or not. I guess one can assume when so many people come forward that it's true. I suppose my UO should have just been that I wish I could remain blissfully naive about the actors/prominent people and believe the best in everyone, but that's just not the case. It is good that people are coming forward about the assault running rampant throughout Hollywood (well, not just Hollywood, but everywhere) because it really shines a light on how much things need to change. But I just wish the world was a better place and these things didn't happen.
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
I won't go into too many personal details...but I completely understand how difficult it would've been to acknowledge and deal with what happened....Sometimes it's just easier to walk away and deal with the pain and emotions later. It's weird how much society can tell you that you deserved it, or you misconstrued what really happened...by the time you see the truth, it's too late and situations like what we're seeing occur.
I still am confused about the person who accused Nick Carter just to publicly forgive him. But I guess there's just no way to ever know. I just hope it's okay for me to keep listening to the Backstreet Boys because I don't think I could ever give them up!
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018
Me: 37, MH: 38; Married August 2017
TTC #1 October 2017: BFP on 12/1/2017, DD born 7/24/2018 @ 37+1 after induction due to preeclampsia
TTC #2 January 2020: AMA, dx with DOR in May 2020
IVF July 2020: 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 12 fertilized, 3 blasts, 2 PGT-A normal
FET 10/7/20: BFP on 10/12/20!!! (EDD 6/25/21); First beta 10/16/20 (9dpt): 148; Second beta 10/19/20 (12dpt): 621; Third beta 10/26/20 (19dpt): 4732; Fourth (and final!) beta 11/2/20 (26 dpt): 22,000+
DD1: 8/2014
TTC #2: 6/2017
BFP 8/3/2017 | CP 8/4
BFP 10/16/2017 | CP 10/21
BFP 12/18/2017 | CP 12/28
BFP 2/15/2018 | EDD: November 2nd | It's a girl!
DD2: 10/2018