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July 2018 Moms
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Holidays & Keeping Secret!

babygagnon2018babygagnon2018 member
edited November 2017 in July 2018 Moms
Hi everyone! With the Holidays coming up and some of us still in early stages of pregnancy, is anyone having any struggles?

I am going to my childhood home for thanksgiving and staying a few nights but have a few concerns, can anyone help?

1. My family is big into smoking...AND inside the house.  How do I avoid everyone while they are constantly smoking in the house?
2. My husband and I will be staying a few nights in one of the guest rooms.  Attached is a bathroom with the cats liter box.  I can't shut the door because they need to access it during the night but don't want to risk babies health and risk of Toxoplasmosis, any ideas?

We are waiting until Christmas when we are 10 weeks to announce.  Any ideas for how to combat these issues without spilling the beans?

If anyone else has Holiday worries or concerns please feel free to share!
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Re: Holidays & Keeping Secret!

  • stillcozystillcozy member
    as long as you arent the one changing the litter you shall be fine with the litter. As far as smoking goes I would suggest making an excuse to go outside or another room if it is happening around you. 
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  • runsomewhererunsomewhere member
    @babygagnon2018 simply using a bathroom where there is a kitty box does not put you at risk. The smoking inside on the other hand would be a huge issue for me, even not pregnant! While a couple days in a smoke filled house likely won't hurt you or the baby it might make you feel sick. Any way you can have people not smoke inside? Maybe tell them it makes it hard for you to breathe? 
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  • babygagnon2018babygagnon2018 member
    Thanks for the replies already!  I didn't know that about the car liter, thanks!
    In regards to the smoking, its legit constant, so I wouldn't be able to leave the house :( I'd be spending thanksgiving on the back deck lol
    I have had a cold the past few days, maybe I could ask them to smoke near a window?  Its stressing me out!

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  • dimeadozendimeadozen member
    @babygagnon2018 I think using your cold would be a good option. It's hard to get out of those situations, since they don't have a problem with doing it. But if you say you've had a pretty rough cold, and you're still struggling to get over it... maybe that might help?
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  • pumpkinpancakepumpkinpancake member
    @babygagnon2018 I would definitely use your cold as the excuse and say you’re having a really hard time breathing, to justify asking them to smoke outside. Second hand smoke is so harmful anyway that they shouldn’t need a reason, but hopefully they will understand and be considerate. 

    As for the litter box, as others have said, as long as you’re not scooping or touching the litter, it’s fine to be near it. 
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  • julesf817julesf817 member
    The smoking is tough. I definitely wouldn’t want to be around that. How are they going to deal when the baby comes? Hopefully they’ll stop then! 

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  • stillziggysmomstillziggysmom member
    I think you hit it head on with the cold, that's what I was going to suggest, lol. If you're just getting over something, even if it's "just getting over something," that'll probably be helpful. If it's making you queasy and people are asking, you can always feign antibiotic side affects, that would explain any drink refusal, too. 
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  • christycaliforniachristycalifornia member
    How's your morning sickness? Honestly, I know this doesn't help because it's too late, but I'd either not go or just tell. I don't know how your family dynamics are and if they'll be happy to accommodate a cold, but in my experience people don't like to be told where to smoke in their house if people know what they're getting into. I'd imagine they'd be happier smoking outside knowing you were pregnant than if you were just feeling a little sick. But that's just me. Also, I don't know how you're going to stand even being in a smoking house with morning sickness, if you're having that. I don't mean to sound judgmental, I just haven't had the best luck with smokers being accommodating unless it's urgent, and while I totally understand wanting to wait, I also feel like if it's going to cause stress to cover up it's not worth it unless there's significant fear of loss. 
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  • Katm89Katm89 member
     @christycalifornia I completely agree. I would just tell them.

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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    I would probably tell. I feel like they would be more accommodating then. 

    We originally planned to tell our families the second week of December, after my first doctor appointment and u/s but I have been very sick and with Thanksgiving coming up I don't think I'll be able to make it through without telling them unfortunately. 
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  • flockofmoosen3flockofmoosen3 member
    Do you have to stay in the house? Stay at a hotel. I agree that smokers are not likely to want to stop smoking in their own house because you have a cold, unless you know that's worked before. And like someone else said, what will you do after baby comes??  Will they quit or at least not smoke around your baby? Even second hand smoke is still terrible for baby's health, and you may not want to bring the baby to that house with everything contaminated. Smokers will almost always say you're overreacting and make you feel guilty for protecting yourself and baby, but... Honestly smoking really sucks and it's frustrating that smokers don't care that what they do does actually affect other people. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.


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  • zande2016zande2016 member
    Even not pregnant, I wouldn't stay in a house with indoor smokers. During pregnancy, forget it. Do you have the option of staying with someone else, like a friend, Airbnb, hotel? Also, I would just tell them you're pregnant regardless of whether you sleep there or not, so they don't get as offended when you ask them not to smoke around you. Sorry you're dealing with that. 
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  • cseley321cseley321 member
    I also agree with @christycalifornia. I come from a family of smokers and it would be unheard of to request that they go elsewhere to smoke to accommodate me, UNLESS they knew I was pregnant. It's up to you, but personally i would just tell them so you could avoid animosity, and boundry pushing. If your family is anything like mine, they would be insulted if I told them when or where to smoke. I know not everyone is like that, but my family is.
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  • babygagnon2018babygagnon2018 member
    @christycalifornia luckily at 5 weeks (6 on Monday) I haven't felt sick at all, absolutely no morning sickness.
    The smoking generally does bother me, but its their house.  And you're right, my mom was a huge proponent of being able to do what she wants in her own house.
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  • babygagnon2018babygagnon2018 member
    @flockofmoosen3

    we could stay at a hotel but we are trying to limit spending since the Holidays are coming and trying to save for baby.
    I'm not sure what they will do once the baby comes but I assume they would stop.  This whole smoking thing with my mom is new within the past couple of years.  I was one of 4 and she didnt start smoking until we were in our 20s (at least that we know of lol)
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  • pregnant_and_paleopregnant_and_paleo member
    @babygagnon2018 I come from a family of smokers and there is NO way any of them would be pleased if I asked them to smoke in a specific place.... unless they knew I was pregnant. I’m sorry this sounds like a super crappy situation for you and if you aren’t ready to tell there’s really no good solution... I know this isn’t helpful haha I just wanted to say I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow and hoping things go as well as possible...
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  • SmashJamSmashJam member
    @babygagnon2018 I second/third/fourth everyone's suggestion to stay elsewhere because of the smokers, if its possible, or stay at a diff family members house. When I was pregnant with my first we stayed in a hotel when visiting my mom because she had been smoking for years and I didn't want to tell her to go outside plus all her stuff smelled like smoke and I couldn't deal.
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  • pregnant_and_paleopregnant_and_paleo member
    @babygagnon2018 glad to hear it went smoothly!
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  • morethanamamamorethanamama member
    @babygagnon2018 glad everything went well! What I've said to people in general is that we are trying for a baby and we are being really careful on all fronts (alcohol/smoking/chemicals) just because we want to start with the right foot. No one seemed to have any suspicions so far and since I'm into healthy eating and exercise I think it makes sense to them, but maybe they are just being nice and not being pushy ;)
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