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TTC After a Loss
galactickates
member
Intro -tw - EP
galactickates
member
Hi All,
Monday morning 11/20 I was diagnosed with an EP (Ectopic Pregnancy) surgery followed Monday night. I was 9 weeks - measuring 8+2. I had gone in to the Dr office the thursday before because I thought I might have a bladder infection. I got to take home pictures of my LO from the US and saw and heard it's heart beating. 160. I'll will never forget that sound. Saturday I called the Dr on call because I had the worst pain in my stomach. I felt light headed and I was lightly bleeding. The Dr assured me it was probably bladder spasms and to try and get comfortable. Monday - my labs were back, bladder was healthy but I now faced surgery. I can't even describe the horror I felt. What kind of damage had been done to my body for 2 days. Was I even going to wake up? I sobbed through it all.
I'm almost a week post op now. Surgery was fine but they removed my left fallopian tube. It was too damaged. I have so many questions, so little answers. I feel like it's all been a horrible dream I can't wake up from. A cruel joke. I know I'm not special and these things happen. I don't even really want sympathy. I want encouragement. I want to try again. It won't erase this loss but I really need hope for the future. I wanted THIS baby, but that's not written in the stars for us.
I'm 33, my DH is 35. I absolutely wouldn't be healing physically or emotionally as well without him.
Monday morning 11/20 I was diagnosed with an EP (Ectopic Pregnancy) surgery followed Monday night. I was 9 weeks - measuring 8+2. I had gone in to the Dr office the thursday before because I thought I might have a bladder infection. I got to take home pictures of my LO from the US and saw and heard it's heart beating. 160. I'll will never forget that sound. Saturday I called the Dr on call because I had the worst pain in my stomach. I felt light headed and I was lightly bleeding. The Dr assured me it was probably bladder spasms and to try and get comfortable. Monday - my labs were back, bladder was healthy but I now faced surgery. I can't even describe the horror I felt. What kind of damage had been done to my body for 2 days. Was I even going to wake up? I sobbed through it all.
I'm almost a week post op now. Surgery was fine but they removed my left fallopian tube. It was too damaged. I have so many questions, so little answers. I feel like it's all been a horrible dream I can't wake up from. A cruel joke. I know I'm not special and these things happen. I don't even really want sympathy. I want encouragement. I want to try again. It won't erase this loss but I really need hope for the future. I wanted THIS baby, but that's not written in the stars for us.
I'm 33, my DH is 35. I absolutely wouldn't be healing physically or emotionally as well without him.
Re: Intro -tw - EP
TTC#1 October 2014
BFP: November 2014, DS born via c-section July 2015
TTC#2 December 2016
BFP: 12/23/16- No heartbeat at 8 weeks, D&C 01/30/17
BFP: 03/11/17- Chemical 03/15/2017
BFP: 04/17/17- Chemical 04/22/2017
05-10/2017 - RPL Testing/Septum Resection Surgery
11/2017-03/2018 3 Natural cycles / 2 TIC w/ trigger shot
BFP: 03/29/18, Rainbow Baby Boy Due late November/ early December 2018
*TW loss and children mentioned*
Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen
Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019
CP 1/25/16 4.5 weeks, developed Graves' disease
Married: 8/10/13
BFP- 12/18/15, D&E- 4/8/16 @ 21w5d- confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia
BFP- 11/7/17, M/C- 11/18/17 @ 4w6d
BFP- 8/25/18 ~ EDD- 5/9/19 ~ DD born 5/2/20 *Lillian Hazel*
BFP- 10/9/20 ~ EDD- 6/21/21