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Night Nanny

PearlvirusPearlvirus member
in May 2018 Moms
Anyone ever hired one? Or thinking about it? My therapist said I should so I don’t lose my mind again this time.....
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Re: Night Nanny

  • gildahgildah member
    I haven’t, but if you can afford it, go for it! Honestly, there is no prize for mommy martyrs. You need to do what is best for your mental and physical health.
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    Absolutely go for it if you can afford it! 
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  • tincupchalicetincupchalice member
    If you can swing it, go for it.  I ebf so I don't imagine it would be a huge help for me though.
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  • gildahgildah member
    tincupchalice said:
    If you can swing it, go for it.  I ebf so I don't imagine it would be a huge help for me though.
    Yeah, I’m wondering if it wouldn’t be more helpful to hire a postpartum doula or someone to prep meals and do the laundry etc. That would be the most helpful for me, but then again, my babies have generally been decent sleepers for the first few weeks. In anycase get help if you can! Whatever you need!!!
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  • onesmallcoconutonesmallcoconut member
    @ivyvines6 we've been looking into hiring a housekeeper too! Just to have them come in once a month to do a good deep clean on the bathrooms, dust the house, vacuum the house. The jobs that can get away from you when life gets hectic. 
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  • PearlvirusPearlvirus member
    I EBF too. But if I can just nurse and pass off for diapers and soothing maybe that helps? And I won’t have to get up at all if it’s only been 30 minutes.... my first was up every 45 minutes all night for 5 months until we did some sleep training. My mental state was legit scary. I’m a bit PTSD about it. What if I get a baby like that again? I’m also a super light sleeper so maybe a professional would be less likely to jump on a newborn that is just making sounds than FTM me was. Not sure if I created her or if that’s just what she was like. 
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  • tincupchalicetincupchalice member
    Pearlvirus said:
    I EBF too. But if I can just nurse and pass off for diapers and soothing maybe that helps? And I won’t have to get up at all if it’s only been 30 minutes.... my first was up every 45 minutes all night for 5 months until we did some sleep training. My mental state was legit scary. I’m a bit PTSD about it. What if I get a baby like that again? I’m also a super light sleeper so maybe a professional would be less likely to jump on a newborn that is just making sounds than FTM me was. Not sure if I created her or if that’s just what she was like. 
    I was a wreck with my first.  My second was much better.  Part of that was that we bedshared, but he was also a much faster nurser and such.  Number one would nurse for 30-40 minutes every two hours for.ever.  Number two never nursed longer than 5-10 minutes.  AND he stopped pooping overnight after just a week or two.  Gold star, child two!

    I'm a light sleeper too, so I feel like having someone else around wouldn't even help because I'd still wake up at the slightest sound lol.
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  • onesmallcoconutonesmallcoconut member
    @tincupchalice ooooo I am hoping for some of that luck you had with your second for this one for me. My first also took forever to nurse. 
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  • PearlvirusPearlvirus member
    @tincupchalice ahhh the pooping! My first was a poop in every.single.diaper for months and months. And my second pooped like once a week starting at like a month. It’s AMAZING how much easier that makes everything.
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  • mileswithmylesmileswithmyles member
    If it works for you and you can afford it, do it!  I don't know how much it would have helped me with DS because I was BFing and once I am up, I'm up.  For me, I would have preferred having a housekeeper come more often to clean/do laundry or someone to prep meals.
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    I want a house cleaner and meals delivered on the regular. That hunger the first go around was intense. I think I legit consumed about 4000 calories/day for the first year. 
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    Tbh what helped us what a modified cosleeping arrangement. He would get “put to bed” in his bassinet at 9, and sleep til around 2 or 4, and I would bring him to bed where he would nurse and cuddle himself back to sleep. I kept him swaddled, and away from our blankets and pillows. He still comes to bed with us in the morning for “milkies” and cuddles.
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  • curleemama32curleemama32 member
    A night nanny? I didn't even know that was a thing but maaaann, if I could afford something like that you bet your sweet tushie I'd be game!!!! The sleeplessness drove me insane last time, MH was legit scared of me. Go for it girl! Sounds like a dream! (Literally!!)
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  • sandbar517sandbar517 member
    @ivyvines6 Maybe I shouldn't bring it up, but has he started nursing again?  I know you said he wasn't all that interested when you got back from your honeymoon.....


    Me, 35 Hubs, 32
    Married June 2012
    BFP June 2013- blighted ovum, D&C Aug 2013
    BFP Oct 2013- twins!  A&H born May 2014
    BFP Aug 2017- EDD 5/8/17


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  • holli0801holli0801 member
    Good thought... I ended up pumping so hubby could help with night feedings which turned into pumping all the time bc DS preferred the bottle. I’m determined to EBF this time but this is a huge concern. I too lose my shit without sleep. My hubby is an amazing help at night time, but also works some nights. I’m really worried about those nights with a baby and toddler!... I wonder how hard it would be to find one part time/as needed. How do you find one? Just using regular nanny services? 
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    sandbar517 said:
    @ivyvines6 Maybe I shouldn't bring it up, but has he started nursing again?  I know you said he wasn't all that interested when you got back from your honeymoon.....
    Yes! On Tuesday night he was acting like he was demon possessed and I broke down and offered it to him. Instantly chilled him out. Thanks god because he was seriously going crazy!
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    @ivyvines6 are you trying to wean? My 2 yo still nurses and acts like a possessed demon until he nurses too. I’m getting frustrated with the pain of it but I don’t think either of ya are ready to completely stop. 
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  • tincupchalicetincupchalice member
    Bug was so angry at me when I went away for a weekend back in May that he refused to nurse when I came back.  Lasted about 24 hours.  
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    I’d do it if I didn’t have such trust issues. I’d constantly be worrying about the nanny falling asleep while rocking and smothering the baby. Horrible I know, but it wouldn’t help me sleep at all. Hiring a cleaning person was such a great move and helped with my stress. I love the idea of a post partum doula to help out. I’m going to ask my doula about that. 
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  • PearlvirusPearlvirus member
    The woman I am meeting tomorrow calls herself a post partum doula not a night nurse/nanny and says she prioritizes families in the first 8 weeks. 
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    mamabird515 said:
    @ivyvines6 are you trying to wean? My 2 yo still nurses and acts like a possessed demon until he nurses too. I’m getting frustrated with the pain of it but I don’t think either of ya are ready to completely stop. 
    No not really. I’m hoping to make it to 2 with him. 
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  • cups4cups4 member
    Omg if we had the $$$$ I'd hire a night nanny so fucking fast. Even BF, if I can pass off for someone else to burp/put back down I would.  
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    @ivyvines6 you got this Mama!! 
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  • jenbabymamajenbabymama member
    Before my bfp, I thought I would get a night nurse because all my friends had one and made them sound indispensable. I also start going crazy without sleep, which I realised when I got a puppy. But now that I'm actually pregnant, I feel uncomfortable leaving a newborn with someone I don't even know. So right now, we're just going to try to get through it ourselves and if it becomes necessary, we'll reevaluate. 
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  • tincupchalicetincupchalice member
    @jenbabymama All of your friends had one?  That's neat, I've never actually met anyone who had one.
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  • charlestonchewcharlestonchew member
    This is 100% not common in my area and have never heard of it.
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  • theletlerstheletlers member
    @ivyvines6 you can definitely BF to 2 (or however long you both want to!!) I weaned DS in October (he turned 2 in June) but it was more me having to with such bad morning sickness with this pregnancy. 

    As far as a night nanny/doula/whatever I say do what works best for you and your family. For me I think knowing someone else is awake in my house would cause too much anxiety for me to even sleep. But I just am like that naturally. But maybe this person's whole family approach will help you especially since you'll have your hands full with the older kids! Even doing things like cleaning or meal prep would probably make the stress of a new baby easier to handle.
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    @theletlers I’ve already been breastfeeding him longer than any of the other kiddos in my family so far. I have zero desire to tandem nurse though... I’ve backed him up to only once a day, but he’s been sick off and on since before my wedding so I’m nursing him more to help him nap longer. (I think it’s contributing to my exhaustion the past couple days though)
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    @theletlers how did the weaning process go? I have always loved it but with MS, nipple soreness and general discomfort I’m startjng to resent it but i have no idea how I’d cut him off. He loves it and asks for it constantly and just stopping because of me makes me feel selfish (not what I think about moms that stop when they want- just how I’m feeling, probably because I’m sad to loose my alone time with my first baby too) We co sleep and I’ve been sleeping in another room for the past 2 months and if I fall asleep with him he still will wake and beg for it. Just not sure how to get back tk co sleeping, keep us both happy, and stop nursing. 
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  • PearlvirusPearlvirus member
    Oh and she says she does ‘tidy the house’, do laundry and cook breakfast / start a crockpot whenever the baby is asleep. So not only do you get more sleep, you also wake up to less stress....

    @jenbabymama where are you located? I don’t know anyone who has done this, I’m just desperate. Also I’m lucky because I have tons of helpful family nearby. They just aren’t helpful at night, lol.
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  • theletlerstheletlers member
    @Pearlvirus I would say that would definitely lower the stress in the house!!

    @ivyvines6 I also planned to BF for a year and then just see how it goes and suddenly he was over two and I was pregnant. I also didn't want to tandem nurse. More power to the mommas who do. Maybe a closer age gap would make me do it like if they were only 15 months apart or something. 

    @mamabird515 I cut out the middle of the night ones first. It was definitely hard the first couple of nights but his tantrum would usually only last about ten minutes. I would offer him a drink of water if he was thirsty and then just let him cuddle with me instead. He has a favorite blanket so I just started pushing that as our cuddle object. But maybe a lovey or blanket or something special would help. I always thought the first in the morning nursing would be the last to go, but after I cut the middle of the night ones he just stopped asking for it in the morning. For bedtime ones as I was starting to wean I started nursing him in the living room instead for about two weeks before taking it away. It made it easier for the bedroom to still be a comfort place. We used to bedshare more often but now DS has a twin bed in our room. For the most part he stays in his own bed all night. Some nights he'll still come and crawl into our bed but we just let him if he needs it. He pretty much always crawls in first thing in the morning for some snuggles which I absolutely love! 
    I had the same feelings about feeling like I was being selfish because it was hurting my boobs and I was just over it. But t took a good conversation with DH and him being supportive and telling me how amazing it was that I did it for so long and that it isn't selfish when im also currently putting my body through pregnancy again. So being honest about how much my body can do isn't selfish. It's healthier for all of us. Im now not as stressed about bedtime (DH is gone at night so every bedtime is my job) so DS isn't so upset at bedtime either. He's able to just snuggle and read stories and fall asleep in his bed (I still lay down with him for about five minutes) and sing him songs. 
    It also helped me telling him the baby growing in momma needs to have the milk now. I'm sure whenever this LO is born we will have some jealousy of it!
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    @theletlers great advice! Thank you for sharing that!! 
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  • jenbabymamajenbabymama member
    @tincupchalice @Pearlvirus I live in Atlanta. I had never heard of a night nurse either until I started being interested in that kind of stuff when ttc. I guess now that I think about it, its my friends from my fancy gym and my clients who all use a night nurse. 
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  • mamabird515mamabird515 member
    @lincbeesmom I’ve heard of this! When I’m really sick or just not feeling like it, I tell him I have boo boos and milky needs rest. He buys it about 75% of the time. The others, he claws at me and cries non stop. 
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