1st Trimester
Knottie31886311
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Family getting pushy with gender - Help!
Knottie31886311
member
My future sister-in-law is REALLY excited about my pregnancy because her son was the first grandchild and he will now have a cousin to play with! She is really sweet, and has been checking in with me every day, sending me photos of shower ideas and different things. Here's the thing - she is being REALLY PUSHY about wanting me to have a girl. She keeps referring to my child as a girl, talking about it incessantly.
I do appreciate her excitement, but it is starting to make me a little angry. I'm not sure why I feel anger above another emotion, but maybe its my first sign of maternal instinct. I'm really starting to get bothered by this - should I say something, or have my husband gently give her a hint?!
I do appreciate her excitement, but it is starting to make me a little angry. I'm not sure why I feel anger above another emotion, but maybe its my first sign of maternal instinct. I'm really starting to get bothered by this - should I say something, or have my husband gently give her a hint?!
Re: Family getting pushy with gender - Help!
1. It's rude.
2. It's not like you have any control of your child's sex.
3. Even if you did, you and YH would get the say. Not her.
4. Because you're feeling protective of the baby because there's a 50% chance he's not what she wants.
5. Because it's really obnoxious to have people focused on your kid's genitalia when you're just worrying about its health.
My MIL did a variation of this when we told her we were pregnant right after our first US. TW-loss she knew we had had a missed miscarriage before. So while I was still in a bit of shock processing my relief and joy to have seen a beating heart, she jumped in on the sex. First she told me all about how much she hopes it's a girl. Then eventually reluctantly said she would still love it if it's a boy. I think I just said something about "well I'd hope so". Then she asked what I was hoping for "And don't give me the 'as long as it's healthy crap'" And I just looked at her and said, "I had infertility and two losses. I do not give a crap as long as it's healthy."
Personally, I'd start with telling her one or two times kindly/lightheartedly something about "Well, there is a 50% chance it's a boy and I'm excited and love this baby either way." Some sort of gentle rebuff. Then I'd just start in with stuff like any time she calls it she "or he" and other statements that make it clear that you're not going to participate.
Married: June 2011
TTC since Feb 2016
BFP#1: 7/7/16 MMC: 8/16/16
BFP#2: 5/8/17 - CP
BFP#3: 6/27/17 EDD: 3/10/18
Her interest is sweet but overbearing imo. Maybe she has baby fever or something.